I work with male founders who are making money but quietly losing themselves at home, 

Drinking more than they want to admit.

Health sliding.

Head constantly running worst case scenarios about cashflow, performance, and keeping everything afloat.

One client closed a £700k deal in Q3 2025. 

He went home buzzing.

His wife looked at him and said,

“Our daughter asked me today if you even like her.”

He had spent three months chasing deals.

Late nights.

Trains to London.

Eight days at home in total.

That is not rare.

That is normal in founder life.

Here is what most men miss.

You will spend hours preparing for a meeting but you won’t spend three minutes asking your kid about their day.

You track revenue daily like a crazed addict yet you can’t remember the last time you sat down as a family to eat dinner together. 

Then you wonder why success feels flat.

He asked me,

“Is it possible to feel proud at home the way I do at work?”

Of course it is. 

You don’t lack the skills to get shit done. You have a plan, set goals and then execute. 

They just point them in one direction and aren’t extended to your loved ones. 

We turned that around and family time went in the diary as a non negotiable. 

He took a break from alcohol and introduced some healthy habits. We unpacked his fear that were holding him back from being the best version of himself. 

Three months later his daughter ran to the door when he got home.

He felt the same buzz watching her score at football as he did closing a deal.

That is the work.

Helping founders apply world class thinking to their body, their relationships, and the life they are actually living.

Build the business.

Keep the family.

Walk into your house calm.

Not carrying the company on your back.

That is what I do.

If you want my help, message me with the word “Ready”.

Adam Smith

I’ve been asked several times why I don’t have kids at the age of 37, 


I’ve gone round the houses many times over the years as to whether I wanted them or not. 

I know plenty of people that are parents by title alone. 

I didn’t want that to be me. 

Spending time with my nieces and nephews always reaffirms my belief that having them will be challenging but incredibly rewarding. 

I don’t think everyone “should” have kids, nor do they need to. 

But that feeling I got when his eyes lit up when he saw me at the weekend simply can’t be replaced. 

As I arrived to celebrate his 9th birthday he shouted “Dad! The big guys here!”

I’ll take “the big guy” over Uncle Nobhead any day of the week. 

My previous drivers for not wanting kids were completely selfish and all centred around the thought of my own routine being ruined. 

As I’ve aged I’ve realised that view is extremely small minded. 

If I’m lucky enough to be able have kids I can only hope they turn out like my nieces and nephews. 

Funny, kind, courageous, playful, compassionate and cheeky in equal measure.

Life Coaching For Male Founders who want to remove alcohol, rebuild their health, and stop letting fear about money, performance, and failure follow them home every night.

No alternative text description for this image

So proud of my client Bonnie for going 1,000 days without alcohol.

I stopped drinking alcohol over 2,000 days ago,  


My life has changed enormously since and yours can too, 

-Clearer skin
-Lost weight
-Set up my own business 
-Reduced blood pressure 
-Reduced cholesterol 
-More present with my family 
-More emotionally intelligent 
-Saved god knows how much money 
-Gained so many great relationships 
-Helped change the lives of hundreds of others
-Increased self worth 
-No pissed up arguments 
-No hangovers 

Every area of my life has improved since stopping drinking and it’s the single best decision I ever made.

I’ve helped over 500 people do the same as well. 

The only thing they all share in common is that they wish they had done it sooner. 

No one regrets removing alcohol from their life and sobriety is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and your family. 
 
Are you alcohol free? What benefits have you seen? Comment below

Today I celebrate 7 years with my partner,


7 years of love, laughter, showing each other dog videos and having her freezing cold feet put on me. 

Relationships are tough and require work. 

We’ve both changed enormously over the last 7 years and that in itself comes with challenges. 

That said, it’s only made us stronger. 

Some things I’ve found useful over the years. 

When you mess up, apologise without caveat. Don’t say “sorry, it’s because I was tired”. 

Listen without fixing or providing solutions. 

Communicate clearly what your needs are. 

Focus on doing what’s right, not trying to be right. 

Have your own thing to focus on rather than living in each others pockets. 

Have snacks prepared as she will get hangry 😂

Put your own mask on first before trying to help the other person. 

Most problems in relationships come from expectations not being met and poor communication. Work on those and your life relationship will improve drastically.

On the 1st of July 2020 I made the biggest decision of my life, 


I was furloughed from a job I disliked in an industry that I had fallen out of love with. 

14 years in hospitality broke me. It’s an amazing industry filled with incredible gifted people but I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. 

My body was broken from the long hours, poor sleep, junk food and alcohol. 

The issue was I didn’t know what to do next. 

I had so many transferrable skills but after years of hearing “when are you going to get a proper job” it’s safe to say I didn’t feel comfortable with the transition. 

My boss called me and said we would be reopening on the 4th of July. I just couldn’t do it myself. 

I told I wouldn’t be returning and burnt the boats. 

I up-skilled, became a qualified coach and started posting online. I had 6 clients within 2 weeks! I couldn’t believe it! 


Fast forward 6 years and life looks very different now. 

-I coached over 500 people 
-Made over 1.4million in revenue  
-Sold out 6 men’s retreats 
-Paid myself a salary for 5.5 years 
-Have a great company car 
-Hosted over 135 episodes of my podcast 
-Coached leaders from Amazon, Dell and Diageo
-Worked with pro athletes from the premier league, rugby league and team GB. 
-Been featured in a book 

And much more

Would I advise others to “burn the boats?” Honestly? No. 

Look at your savings, gauge your ins and outs, give yourself 9 months run rate, gauge whether you actually like the thing you want to do, test it in the market, do it part time, build up some clients and then hand the notice in. 

Yes you need to take risk but don’t be a fool. The market is tougher than it’s ever been.

Here’s to the next 5 years. I don’t know what’s ahead but I’m really fucking excited.

“You’re nearly 40, why don’t you have kids?”


I did a post a couple of weeks ago about why I don’t have kids at the age of 37. (Not nearly 40)

99.9% of the comments were positive. 1 absolute melt decided to project their pain onto me and ask why I don’t have kids. 

This question is so odd to me. 

No one ever asks “why did you have kids?”

There’s a multitude of reasons as to why some people don’t have kids at my age. 

1. They might not want them. 
2. They might not be able to have them. 
3. They might not feel ready for them. 
4. They might be focusing on their career. 

It’s not something that needs to be justified and it’s certainly not anyone else’s business. 

Some people are only parents by title and I didn’t want to bring a child into the world until I did the deep inner work on my own securities. 

I have coached over 500 people and it’s evident that if you don’t have your shit together before having kids, you’re in for a rough ride. 

I already meditate, journal, practice gratitude, exercise daily, eat healthy etc. 

However, there were wounds there that hadn’t healed from my past that needed to be worked on before I could even consider it. 

If I’m lucky enough to be able to have kids with my partner, I will do everything in my power to prepare for that day (even though I’m sure nothing will prepare you) 

For now I play the role of the fun Uncle but I also use the skills I have as a coach to understand some of their behaviour and ask them good questions etc. 

It’s awesome! 

So to sum up, please stop asking people why they don’t have kids, it’s none of your business.

There are no good male role models out there, 


Bullshit. Yes there are. Tonnes of them. Either past or present. 

Matthew Hussey, Gabor Mate. Tony Robbins. Eric Thomas. Eckhart Tolle. Chris Williamson. Zig Ziglar. Bob Proctor. Jim Rohn. Jimmy Carr. Chris Williamson. 

I could go on. 

Sadly, their message doesn't get as much attention as some of the BINfluencers that spout absolute shite through their hyperbolic views. 

We are in the attention era and the "men" in this documentary have mastered that art. 

The end destination is power, significance and money. 

The vehicle they use is misogyny, abuse and anger. 

I talk about this in great detail in my recent newsletter. 

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Let’s talk about “toxic masculinity” and the "manosphere" Louis Theroux’s documentary recently aired and it has done exactly what it was designed to d

Open article: The "Manosphere" by Adam Smith • 3 min read

“Why do you always talk about the benefits of going sober?”


Because it’s led to me do the following;

-Coached over 500 people 1-1 
-Sold out 6 men’s retreats 
-Been featured in a book alongside names Like Heston Blumenthal
-Featured in a documentary on Sky
-Turned over multi 6 figures a year  
-Worked with pro athletes and Team GB
-Invited on some of the biggest podcasts in the UK
-Paid myself a salary for 5 years 
-Have a company car that I love 
-Built a team of employees and contractors
-Paid as a public speaker on numerous occasions  

And much more 

So while Dodgy Dave from sales might comment on my posts sometimes telling me to stop preaching etc, I’ll continue to spread my message and change peoples lives as the trade off is disproportionate. 

People will judge you no matter what so just do what feels aligned to the person you want to become and it will transform your life.

This is why using ChatGPT is a better than getting a coach,


You hate accountability- Just do nothing and then get your new robot friend to validate all of your negative behaviours. 

You want an echo chamber- It’s so good for training it to say exactly what you want to hear. 

You never have to take action- Just keep complaining and never change your approach. This is great for being in a constant state of frustration. But if you give your excuses to ChatGPT, it reassures you and never challenges you. 

You can learn cool new phrases to weaponise- Who cares about actually studying anything to do with psychology or coaching? Just use the word “narcissist” when someone disagrees with you. Keep getting in arguments? Clearly they are just “gaslighting” you for having boundaries. 

You can go unchallenged for months- It will never test you or push you beyond your limits so you can stay in the familiarity of mediocrity forever. 

AI has its uses, for therapy and coaching? Not so much. 

It’s making you weaker, lazier and more miserable. Doing the deep inner work requires a human being to challenge you, push you, listen to you, hold you accountable and test you. 

“But it’s a cheaper option” yeah we all know how much success that usually yields don’t we…..

It’s not your fault that you drink alcohol, but it’s your responsibility to change it if you’re sick of feeling like shit, 


In the UK, we’re raised around alcohol whether we like it or not. 

It’s in advertising, films, television, and social life. 

We go to the pub with family, we see it everywhere, and we’re exposed to it from an early age. 

We’re shown something we can’t yet have, which instantly creates intrigue. 

Some people are introduced to alcohol as young as nine or ten, when a parent allows you to have a shandy, and it quickly becomes normalised.

As you move into your teens, you drink to fit in, because you don’t want to be the odd one out, and that fear of being judged or excluded follows you into university and your career, where drinking becomes expected. 

By your twenties, it’s part of your routine, and by your thirties it often becomes a coping mechanism for stress, responsibility, and the pressure of daily life.

Alcohol was fun, then it was fun with consequences, and eventually it becomes just consequences.

You aren’t as present at home, you don’t get as much done at work, your partner starts to judge you, and you judge yourself. 

You don’t consider yourself an alcoholic, but you also can’t remember the last time you took a proper break, so you continue because you don’t know another way.

The fear you had at 14 is the same fear you have now. 

What will people say, will I be judged, how will I cope without it? 

These thoughts keep you stuck.

I’ve coached hundreds of people to remove alcohol from their lives, and they all say the same thing, they wish they had done it sooner. 

I’ve never met someone who removed alcohol and regretted it.

When you remove alcohol, your clarity and energy return, you begin setting goals, training, and rebuilding momentum. 

You become a better father, a better partner, more present at home, more productive at work, and more in control of your life. 

You stop wasting mornings, you stop wasting days, and you start becoming the person you always knew you could be.

In the first image I’m passed out in a bar at the age of 31! In the second image I’m 5 and 1/2 years alcohol free. 

I understand your apprehension to change better than most. 

It’s not your fault that you were conditioned into drinking, but it is your responsibility to change it.

Alcohol and ADHD is a toxic concoction,


I understand why you want to drink. 

“It helps switch your brain off”

“It’s a great dopamine hit”

“It helps you sleep”

But these aren’t factually correct. 


When you drink alcohol, it stimulates the brains reward system, particularly the mesolimbic pathway. 

This gets activated by sex, food, achievement and other rewarding experiences. 

The hit can take about 10 minutes to kick in and can last up to 2 hours. After that though, it drops below baseline. 

This drop is critical because guess what? Now you need another hit. 

After repeating this cycle it can quickly start to free fall into misery, anger, anxiety and brain fog. 

Your fine motor skills go to shit, your speech becomes slurred and you start to become louder. 

Yes it sedates you on an evening and means you fall to sleep easier but sedation is not sleep. 

That’s why when you wake up you feel like a  dehydrated ball bag. 

It destroys your productivity levels for days and the anxiety is crippling. 

Having ADHD is exhausting so why make it harder by drinking alcohol? You think it’s helping your stress and anxiety when in most cases, it’s the cause of it. 

Having dopamine that you didn’t earn is the quickest way to feel shit about yourself long term. 

-Watching porn
-Eating junk food 
-Netflix binges 
-Drinking alcohol 
-Doom scrolling 
-Gambling 
-Smoking 

All contribute to terrible mental and physical health. 

Seeking natural dopamine has been a game changer for me and my clients. 

-Time in nature
-Meditation 
-Cold water therapy 
-Daily exercise 
-Drink plenty of water 
-Eating a healthy meal 
-Playing with your kids 
-Going on dog walks 
-Spending time with loved ones 

I’m not suggesting you live like a monk but those vices that you “need” are likely to be a story you’re telling yourself and they are keeping you stuck. 

For those of you that do have adhd, how do you look after yourself each day? Comment below

Let’s talk about “toxic masculinity” and the "manosphere"


Some people have said that “men don’t talk about how they feel, it’s the definition of toxic masculinity”.

Firstly, this isn’t true. I have wonderful in depth conversations with my male friends and clients.

Secondly, a lot of men don’t open up because they get judged, fixed, mocked and told “don’t worry about it mate”. So they just stop expressing how they feel. 

Most men were never allowed to show emotion from a young age so they simply don’t bother. It’s not toxic, it’s a defence mechanism. 

Putting this into the same category of the likes of Andrew Tate is so misguided. 

Andrew Tate has got nothing to do with “masculinity”, he’s got everything to do with a toxic individual that happens to be male. 

When I think of what a masculine man represents it’s integrity, honour, hard work, honesty, humour, values led, open mindedness, vulnerability and ambition. 

I have never considered masculinity to be sexism, abuse or outright aggression. 

In preparation for the release of Louis Theroux’s latest documentary, I am genuinely concerned for the young men of our generation. 

The ones that are so openly mocked and told to “man up” (the irony). 

They are victims of a system they never asked to be part of. 

One where hyperbole is at its most prevelant and one where sensationalists like Andrew Tate will always drown out the great work of the Robert Greene’s, Gabor Mate’s and Matthew Hussey’s of the world. 

I don’t have all the answers but ridiculing vulnerable teenage boys certainly isn’t one of them. 

I fear this “Manosphere” documentary is only going to add fuel to the man hating fire and giving these deluded “creators” an even bigger platform is likely to do more harm than good. 

Here I am pictured with Rich Casement a man I have a lot of respect for. A former client and now friend. 

Just 2 men sharing a coffee and talking about our recent wins, challenges and vulnerabilities. 

This is only possible if a safe space is created.   

One where judgment and fixing isn’t present.

You’ve been lied to,



You don’t need alcohol to unwind.

You don’t need alcohol to switch off. 

You don’t need alcohol to have confidence. 

You don’t need alcohol to help you sleep. 

You don’t need alcohol to dance at weddings. 

It’s all bull shit. I was walking around with this mindset for most of my adult life until I took a break for 60 days and realised it wasn’t serving me anymore. 

I didn’t have a problem with alcohol. Alcohol was masking all of my problems.

My lack of confidence came from deep rooted challenges in my childhoods. 

My people pleasing tendencies were steeped in insecurity. 

My poor sleep was due to being anxious and not knowing how to regulate my central nervous system. 

When you do remove it, it will change your life. 

Are you alcohol free? What benefits have you seen since removing it? Comment below

We’re creating something that is truly one of a kind in the UK, 



Our new transformational program aimed solely at Founders and Business Owners. 

It’s been designed to completely transform your life and business alongside a group of other like minded individuals. 

Most founders are stressed out of their mind. 

Can’t switch off on an evening. 

Not being present with their family. 

Partners become distant and fee disconnected. 

Shitting themselves in case they make the wrong decision so they stay stuck and frustrated for months at a time. 

This is due to fear and being in a lack of alignment. 

We’ve come up with a solution. 

ALIGNED. 

Each month you’ll receive; 

-1-1 calls with one of our Founders

-Access to our in person events 

-Access to a full Health MOT including a blood test and access to our team of Nutritionists. 

-Weekly masterclasses from us and external experts 

-Daily accountability with our team through text support 

-Connect with our other members through our community chat

-Access to our High Performance Coaching App

Our in person events are split into 3 concepts. 

Boardroom- A chance to step out of the business and work on it, not in it. You’ll spend the day strategically planning your goals and targets. Located in a 5 star hotel in Leeds. 

Breathe- An opportunity to recalibrate and revive your energy through meditation, cold water therapy, yoga, time in nature and delicious food hosted at The Farm near Manchester. 

Breakthrough- This day is designed to challenge yourself physically and mentally. Let’s face it, running a business is really fucking hard. This event will test you and help ground you so you’re ready to attack the business. This will take place in the Peak District. 

Limited spaces available with 9 people signed up already. This is going to change our business for the better and transform the lives of our clients! 

Interested? DM me with the word “Aligned”.

How did my client become alcohol and vape free, lose 30lbs of fat and increase revenue in his business?


He hired me. 

We talked openly about how he views himself currently. 

What were his desired end outcomes. 

What has held him back until this point. 

I listened without judging him. He felt seen and heard in a way he hadn’t felt before. 

We created a blueprint for success. 

He followed it.

Fast forward to today. 

-30lbs lighter and stronger than ever 

-Alcohol and vape free and still has a social life and now has a better way of handling stress. 

-Renewed his wedding vows with his partner.

-Increased revenue in his business and hired more team members. 

-He meditates every day and is more mindful with his thoughts. 

In the best physical, financial, mental and spiritual shape of his life. 

Working with people like Matt Simpson is an absolute privilege and in his words;

“I can confidently say that working with Adam has not only been a delight but has truly transformed my life.”

If you’ve followed me for a while and you’re getting splinters in arse from sitting on that fence, perhaps this is your sign to take that step and book a call with me using this link. 

https://lnkd.in/eKAuQE7t

I was a grown man still acting like a teenager, 


Going out and getting shit faced in your teens and twenties is almost a right of passage. 

I realised that carrying this on into my 40’s and 50’s is embarrassing.

I see a lot men making this mistake. 

I don’t actually think it’s their fault entirely. 

We are exposed to alcohol from an early age. Most of the men I coach are from the UK and in their 40’s. 

They were raised in pubs and allowed to drink under supervision from ages as early as 10. 

They would go to the park with their mates and drink bollock warm lager and Smirnoff from the bottle 🤢 

Then they progress to house parties and local pubs with their mates. 

Brylcreem through their hair, lynx Africa sprayed all over and a squirt of joop for good measure. 

Look out ladies....

From there, they start university or begin a new career. Binge drinking is rife and becomes part of their weekly routine. 

Through their 20’s it’s just the norm and the done thing. 

Life starts to become a bit more serious as they progress towards their 30’s. 

Marriage, kids, mortgages and promotions means that they turn to alcohol to cope. 

What was once fun is now necessary. 

They get to their late 30’s and early 40’s and the stresses of life can become too much. They now can’t function without it. 

They need it to “switch off” or to “be more confident”. 

Knowing full well it doesn’t do either of those things but they don’t know any different.

They want to stop but they’ve so fearful of what their friends will think and they don’t have the first clue how to socialise without it. 

It’s the same feeling they had when they were teenagers. So they act like it. 

Not getting out of bed until midday. Playing on their phone rather than with their children and arguing with their partner as if they are arguing with their mother. 

Sound familiar? 

It might not be your fault as to why you started drinking but it is your responsibility to fix it. 

Your life will improve in every single area when you remove alcohol. While it’s not a free pass to self acceptance and happiness, it will free you from your bullshit and lead to a more fulfilling life. 

Does this mean you can’t have fun or go out with your mates? No. You can still see your mates, enjoy some alcohol free beers and then not ruin your life for 3-4 days. 

If you’re unsure as to how much alcohol is holding you back, take my free quiz. 

https://lnkd.in/eXZWPCYT

What really happens you remove alcohol? 


So many things and 95% of them are positive. 

Yes you'll lose some friends (drinking buddies) and you'll also feel all of your feelings, good and bad. 

Other than that, it's incredible. 

Better sleep, more energy, improved bank balance, fully present at home, weightloss and so much more. 

I do a deep dive into this in my most recent newsletter. 

Let me know your thoughts below

The first few months without alcohol are uncomfortable, then powerful. The first thing that comes back is your mornings. You wake up clear instead of 

Open article: What really happens when you remove alcohol?  by Adam Smith • 5 min read

What really happens when you remove alcohol?

Alcohol destroyed me,



People pleasing due to not feeling good enough. 

Eating more junk food than a teenage stoner. 

Little to no sleep each day and functioning on coffee and jäger. 

About as unproductive as a sloth after its just climaxed. 

Lower testosterone than Louis Walsh. 

Body like a 90’s darts player. 

Miserable as fuck and void of hope. 

So I took a break from alcohol and everything changed. 

I’ve been on that break from 5+years and I have no intention of stopping. 

-Got in the best shape of my life at 36 years old. 

-Started my own business that turns over multi 6 figures each year. 

-Hosted over 135 episodes of our podcast. 

-Coached over 500+people to change their lives. 

-Sold out 5 men’s retreats….


And so much more. 

This isn’t about me, this is about helping someone out today. 

If you want my help, drop me a message with the word “Ready” or take my free quiz. 

Links in featured section.

Most people drink alcohol to escape the life they've created, 

A mentor once told me "you're exactly where you deserve to be in every area of your life". When I felt like shit this was like a Ric Flair Chop to my ego. 

I would blame everything else but myself. The weather, the traffic, the government, my parents, Eastenders. Nothing was off limits. 

Playing the victim is easy as it requires no effort. So you just blame everything and everyone and then hide behind alcohol as a reason to "switch off" 

You're limiting yourself and your own potential when you're pouring poison down your throat. Whether you care or not is a different story. 

I go into this in great detail on today's newsletter. 

Enjoy.

It’s not your fault that you drink alcohol, but it’s your responsibility to change it if you’re sick of feeling like shit. In the UK, we’re raised aro

Open article: It’s Not Your Fault, But It Is Your Responsibility by Adam Smith • 4 min read

It’s Not Your Fault, But It Is Your Responsibility

If you want to stop drinking alcohol, give this a watch.

Amazon + Microsoft recognized leader | Proven coaching programs to help you land a job you love

You’ve worked too hard to feel this stuck.

You’ve led high-stakes projects, delivered results that mattered, and climbed further than most ever will.
But somewhere along the way, the work stopped feeling like it fit.

Maybe the role’s too small now.
Maybe the company’s changed.
Maybe you have.

I know what that moment feels like — because I’ve lived it.

The first time I left a “perfect” job, it made no sense to anyone but me.

On paper, I’d made it.
I was at Amazon, leading product marketing for high-profile products like Prime and Fire tablets.

I’d started in academia and retail, then landed at Microsoft in a role that valued my retail background (who knew?). That move brought me from D.C. to Seattle.

Just as I’d settled in, Amazon came knocking — asking me to get offline retailers ready for the Fire Phone launch. That move took my Big Tech career to a whole new level.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling something didn’t fit.
The work moved faster, the bar kept shifting higher — but my sense of purpose was shrinking.

When I looked around, I saw smart, capable colleagues stay in roles they no longer loved because the comp or title looked good. I realised I was on the same path — and I didn’t want to be.

So I walked away and rebuilt my career on different terms.
Ones that gave me impact and energy.
Ones that felt tangible, sustainable, and worth showing up for.

That change in focus led me to coaching.

Now, I help experienced Big Tech professionals navigate bold career moves — especially when they want their next step to look nothing like their last.

How we work together:
🧭 Clarity – Define your values, strengths, and direction
🎯 Job Search – Own your story and land roles you actually want
🚀 First 90 Days – Lead with purpose from day one in your new role

Results my clients see:
✅ Leadership roles at companies they believe in
✅ Bigger comp and better alignment
✅ Confidence in interviews, negotiations, and decisions
✅ A definition of success that fits their life

Because you’re too smart to waste your best years in the wrong role.
Especially when the next chapter can be the best one yet.

Want to know how coaching can accelerate your career? 
📅 Book your 20-minute clarity call:
https://calendly.com/mfdcoaching/clarity

Mel Fox Dhar

"I'm nervous to leave Amazon, what if I can't replicate my scope?" 

"You’ve been running a team of 40 people and a programme worth tens of millions of dollars. At Amazon, that makes you an L7. Everywhere else? That makes you a director. Maybe a VP. Seems like you can get the scope, it just might come with a step into more senior titles."

Most people don’t think about this until they start interviewing and someone across the table treats them like an executive. And they’re not sure how to respond because they’ve never been positioned that way.

You can move up when you move out. But only if you’re ready to show up at that altitude — in how you talk about your work, how you frame your decisions, and how you carry yourself in the room.

That’s a preparation problem, not a capability problem. And it’s one of my favourite things to work on with clients.

If you’re an L6 or L7 thinking about what’s next — you might be closer to a bigger role than you think.

Land a role you actually want | Career Strategist | 10 Years at Amazon + Microsoft

In my eight years at Amazon, I moved roles five times - but in my last role, there was a disconnect.

It looked great on paper. 

Solid brand. Smart people. 
A scope that made sense for my background.

But I didn’t ask the right questions:
→ How are decisions made on this team?
→ How do we define success?
→ And how would I actually contribute?

What I walked into was a team obsessed with micro-optimization.
We’re talking decimal-point-level changes.
“Does this button round better at 4px or 5px?” kind of energy.

And listen, that's all fine and good. 
But, I’m not built for that.
I want to test, experiment, blow things up and rebuild them.
They wanted tiny, precise wins. 
I wanted room to invent.

And it showed. I was checked out. 
They could tell. 
I could tell.
And it got awkward real quick. 
It’s what pushed me to walk away from product marketing and start coaching instead.

Now, when I work with clients, we dig into the questions they actually need to ask before accepting a role:

📌 How much change do I like to drive?
📌 Do I want to build from scratch—or optimize something that’s already working?
📌 What kinds of decisions do I want to make daily?
📌 Will I be working on things I care about or doing a bunch of stuff that puts me to sleep? 

Because being good at your job isn’t enough if you hate the way you’re expected to do it.

If you’re not asking these questions, you might end up solving the wrong problem in the wrong place.

Even been here? Was it salvageable for you?

undefined undefined

Newsletter

P.S. Last week’s newsletter broke down exactly how to set up an Impact Bank. If you want the template, you can grab it here: 
https://www.melfoxdhar.com/post/10-by-january-no-one-will-remember-what-you-did-this-fall

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 Hi {{Name}} I’ve applied for the {{Role}} role and wanted to reach out directly.

My background is in {{relevant domain / scope}}. Most recently, I’ve been focused on {{1–2 outcomes that map cleanly to the role}}. From the job description, this role appears closely aligned with the kind of work I’ve been doing, particularly {{specific problem or mandate from the spec}}.
Sharing context in case it’s helpful as you’re reviewing candidates.
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melfoxdharcoaching

Two of my clients had the same experience recently and it’s one of my favourite things to see.
 
Early in their search, they had catch-up conversations with people from their old teams. Nothing formal. Just “hey, here’s what I’m up to, here’s what I’m thinking about next.”
 
Months later - completely out of the blue - both got a DM: “Are you still looking?”
 
This is what I’m talking about when I describe network infrastructure.
 
Those DMs didn’t happen because my clients were doing aggressive outreach or mass-messaging recruiters. They happened because they’d had one honest conversation with someone who filed it away and thought of them when the right thing came along.
 
Most people think networking means reaching out when you need something. But the real work is much simpler and much earlier:
Make sure people know what you’re looking for. 

In plain language. Not corporate jargon. 
Not “I’m exploring opportunities.” 
Actual words about an actual direction.
 Then let their brains do the work.
 
You’d be amazed how many people want to help you. They just need to know what helping looks like.
 
So... who’s someone you could catch up with next week?

"I'd never take a contract."

I hear this constantly from senior candidates — particularly those coming out of Big Tech. Contract roles get dismissed on sight. Too risky. Too ambiguous. Not "real" enough.

That instinct costs people good options.

When I work through the contract question with clients, I'm not asking "is this beneath you?" I'm asking:

→ What does this let you claim on the other side?
→ Does it give you skills or bullets you don't currently have?
→ Does it let you step into your target role — even temporarily — so the next full-time move becomes a shorter leap?

That's a strategy question, not a status question.

The question isn't whether contract work is good or bad. It's whether this particular assignment builds something you can use next.


Have you ever taken a contract that repositioned you for something bigger? I'd love to hear how it played out.

The best time to start preparing for a job change isn’t when you’ve decided to leave.

It’s when you first notice that feeling. The one where you’re sitting in a meeting thinking “why am I still here?”

Most people wait until that feeling becomes unbearable. And then they scramble.

The clients I work with who have the smoothest searches? They started months before they were ready to go. Not applying. Not even job hunting. Just getting the pieces in place so that when they were ready, the ground was already warm.

There’s a huge difference between starting a search from a standing start and starting one where people already know what you’re looking for, your story is tight, and you’ve got conversations already in motion.

One of those takes three months. The other takes eight.

Watch the video for the three things worth doing right now if you're in that window.

I'm working with a VP of Marketing right now who knows exactly where she's headed. No confusion about direction, no identity crisis. Clear decision, strong network.

But when we looked at what she'd actually built around that decision — her materials, her positioning, her outreach strategy — none of it was telling the same story.

Her default mode was to have conversations. 
Fantastic. 
Except: 
- if she wasn't speaking with someone, nothing was moving forward. 
- even when the conversations were good (and they were) they weren't efficient because everything around them was out of sync.

That's a pattern I see a lot at the senior level. 
The direction is right. 
The instincts are sharp. 
But the system underneath hasn't been rebuilt to match the decision.

Once we started closing that gap — aligning her assets to her direction of travel, giving the search a structure beyond "who should I talk to next" — things have started clicking differently.

If you've made your decision but your search still feels like it runs on conversations alone, it might not be a strategy problem. It might be an infrastructure one.

Something I’ve noticed across every client who’s landed quickly in the last year:
 
They weren’t just applying. They were actually talking to people.
 
I know. Groundbreaking insight.
 
But here’s what I mean — they weren’t doing the “just reaching out to connect!” thing. They weren’t mass-messaging recruiters. They weren’t treating networking like a box to tick.
 
They were having five to ten specific conversations with specific people at companies they’d already decided they cared about. And they could articulate exactly why.
 
“I’m interested in your team because [specific reason]. Here’s what I’d bring to [specific problem].”
 
That’s it. That’s the whole trick.
 
And it’s a lot easier to have that conversation when you’ve already done the work of translating what you’ve built into language that means something outside your current company.
 
The clients who took twice as long? Strong profiles. Great experience. Relying almost entirely on applications.
 
Your LinkedIn profile is not a fishing net. It’s a signpost.
 
It tells people what you’re about. But it doesn’t replace the work of actually reaching out and starting a conversation.
 
Who’s on your list that you’ve been meaning to message but haven’t yet?

P.S. if it’s been a minute, my favourite approach is to “lead with the geek” - a genuine shared interest.

Something I keep hearing from senior candidates right now:

"I want to make a move but the market feels too uncertain."

I get the instinct. Stocks are down. Headlines are grim. It feels responsible to wait.

But here's what I've noticed working with people through multiple cycles:

The candidates who wait for the market to feel safe don't actually end up in 
a stronger position.

They end up six months older with a colder network, a staler story, and the same questions they had before — plus less momentum.

And the longer you wait, the harder it is to remember what your work looks like to someone who wasn't in the room when you did it.

The ones who move during uncertainty — deliberately, not recklessly — tend to face less competition. Because everyone else is waiting.

Tough markets don't punish movement. They punish unpreparedness.

More on this Wednesday.

In the last 12 months I’ve worked with 24 US clients on job searches.

10 have landed new roles. The rest are still in active searches at various stages. Same market everyone's calling impossible.
 
When I look at what separated the ones who landed in three months from the ones who took seven or eight, it wasn’t seniority. Wasn’t luck. Wasn’t the market being kinder to them on any given Tuesday.
 
It was two things:
How tight their personal brand was — and whether their application strategy actually matched it.

The fast movers had a clear story and were applying where that story was obviously relevant. Every conversation built on the last one. Things compounded.

The slow movers? They'd done serious work — launched products, run programs, driven real numbers. But the story was still shaped by the system they'd built it in. "I owned the returns strategy" makes perfect sense inside Amazon. It means nothing to a hiring manager at Stripe.

The other difference? The fast movers were actually talking to people. Not mass outreach. Not "just reaching out to connect." Real conversations with specific humans at companies they'd already decided they cared about.

The slow movers were relying almost entirely on applications and a strong profile. Which helps — but doesn't replace a real conversation with a real person.
 
Same calibre of person. Same economy. Completely different timelines.
 
The market isn’t the variable most people think it is.
 
Whether your story travels - and whether you're actually putting it in front of the right people - is.

Most senior people tell me they have a great network.
 
And they might. But when I ask what their network actually knows about what they’re looking for right now?
 
Crickets.
 
There’s a difference between knowing 2,000 people on LinkedIn and having 15 people who could pick up the phone, hear what you’re looking for, and immediately think of someone to connect you with.
 
The first is a vanity metric. The second is infrastructure.
 
And right now — in a market where applications disappear into black holes and job posts get 400 applicants in 48 hours — infrastructure is the thing that’s actually working.

Want more on this? Link in the comments.

One of the weirdest moments for my clients leaving Amazon is when they walk into an interview outside and realise the person across the table is treating them like a senior executive.

They've spent years in a culture where nobody defers to your title. Where the best idea wins regardless of your level. Where running a $50M program and managing 40 people is just... your job.

And then they're sitting across from someone who sees all of that as director-level leadership. Maybe VP.

Most of them have never been positioned that way. And they're not sure what to do with it.

That's what this video is about.

One of the first things I do with clients — before we touch the resume, before we prep for interviews, before any of that — is figure out what they’re actually great at.
 
Not their job title. Not their scope. Not the things on their performance review.
 
The stuff underneath. The patterns The through lines. The thing that keeps showing up across every role they’ve had, regardless of the company or the context.
 
I call it superpowers work and yeah, I know that sounds a bit cheesy. But here’s why it matters:
 
Most people — especially people coming out of Big Tech — describe themselves using the system’s language. “I owned the returns strategy.” “I led a cross-functional initiative.” “I drove $X in revenue.”
 
Cool. But what were you actually great at in those situations? What’s the thing you brought that someone else in your seat wouldn’t have?
 
When you can name that clearly, everything else gets easier. Your resume gets sharper. Your interviews get more natural. Your networking conversations stop feeling like performances.
 
And here’s the thing nobody tells you: you probably can’t figure this out alone. You’re too close to it. It’s like trying to read the label from inside the bottle.
 
That’s why the first thing I have people do is name it, then go say it out loud to someone who knows them.
 
Not because it’s some big moment of vulnerability.
 
Because usually the response is: 
“Yeah, obviously. Why weren’t you already saying that?”

There’s a thing that happens in interviews with senior candidates that I’ve seen so many times I can almost predict when it’s coming.

They’re telling a great story. Clear ownership. Real impact. You can feel the energy in the conversation building.

And then they say something like:
“Well, I mean, it was really a team effort.”
Or: “I didn’t technically own the decision, but I influenced it.”
Or: “It wasn’t that big of a deal, we just kind of figured it out.”

And the whole thing deflates. 

Not because the interviewer thinks they’re lying. But because the interviewer was leaning in — and now they’re not sure if they should have been.

Here’s the thing: nobody is asking you to take credit for work you didn’t do. But there’s a massive difference between being honest and being self-diminishing.

“I led the strategy and my team executed it brilliantly” — that’s honest and it communicates your level.

“It was a team effort” — that’s technically true and tells the interviewer absolutely nothing about what you did.

Senior interviews reward clarity of ownership. 
Not arrogance. Not exaggeration. 
Just: here’s what I did, here’s why it mattered, and here’s what changed because of it.

If you find yourself hedging every time you get to the good part of your story — that’s worth paying attention to.

A client recently wrote a near-perfect positioning statement.
Clear direction. Right keywords. Strong proof points. 
On paper, it was great.

Then I asked them to say it to me — without reading it.

Three minutes of verbal diarrhoea and buzzword bingo.

This happens constantly.

Especially with people who've done complex, cross-functional work. 
The more nuanced the contribution, the harder it is to compress into 90 seconds without losing what made it matter.

Even the people who used to nail those WBR inputs week after week struggle with this. Writing tight and speaking tight are different muscles.

And that's in a low-stakes conversation with me. Add a hiring manager and 90 seconds on the clock, and it gets worse.

The gap between how your story reads and how it lands out loud is one of the most underrated problems in a senior job search.

The fix isn't rehearsing more.

It's saying it to someone who'll stop you at the exact moment you start losing them. 
Someone who'll tell you "that sentence is dead weight" or "you just said the same thing three different ways."

Uncomfortable? Yes.

Faster than doing ten more interviews before you figure it out? Also yes.

When was the last time you actually said your pitch out loud to someone who'd give you an honest reaction?

There's a question I ask clients early on that almost always catches them off guard:

"Walk me through how you actually made that decision."

Not the outcome. Not the result. The process. Who did you talk to? What did you weigh up? What did you decide not to do, and why?

Most people stumble on the first try. They say something like "I wrote a really good doc" or "I got alignment from the right stakeholders" — and then look at me like that should be enough.

And inside Amazon, it was. The doc was good, everyone asked questions and the client's "HBDC" (have backbone, disagree and commit) was on point. So they got the decision made and moved on with execution. 

But in an interview, nobody has that context. And "I assessed the situation and made the right call" isn't a story. It's a placeholder.

The people who get hired into director roles aren't necessarily better at making decisions than the people who don't. They're just WAY better at showing how they think.

I wrote about this in my newsletter today — including a diagnostic I built that helps you see exactly where that gap is for you. Link in the comments.

People ask me all the time if I know someone for a role.
"Do you know anyone who does X?" or "Would any of your clients be a fit for Y?"

And I want to help. So I click through to whoever comes to mind. Read the headline. Skim the About.

And nine times out of ten — I can't answer the question. I can tell they're impressive. I just can't tell for what.

There’s a lot of “cross-functional leadership” and “customer-obsessed strategy” and I’m sure that’s all true. But it doesn’t help me figure out whether to make the introduction or not.

The ones where I can answer immediately? Those are usually my clients. Because we’ve already done the work of making it obvious.

Not clever. Not fancy. Just clear enough that someone scanning for eight seconds can go “oh — she’s the person who does that.”

That’s the bar. And most senior profiles don’t clear it yet.

Not because the people aren’t brilliant. Because the profile was built inside a system where everyone already had the context.

If someone who wants to refer you can’t explain you in one sentence — that’s not their problem to solve.

One of the biggest differences between a job search that moves and one that just feels busy:
 
The target list.
 
Most of my clients come to me with one. It’s usually 20–30 companies across completely different industries and business models.
 
I get it. When you’ve spent years building inside one system - launching products, driving nine-figure programs, owning work that was deeply cross-functional and deeply contextual - everything on the outside looks interesting. Because everything looks different.
 
But here’s the problem: you can’t position yourself for all of those simultaneously.
 
You built a $200M program inside Amazon. Now you’re trying to explain it to a hiring manager at a Series C company who’s never seen that scale. And also to an enterprise SaaS team that operates completely differently. And maybe a consulting firm too.
 
Each one needs a different version of your story. And when you try to tell all of them at once, none of them land.
 
Your best work happened inside a system that had its own language for what “good” looks like. The target list isn’t just about picking companies — it’s about finding the places where your specific kind of good is legible.
 
A target list that actually works looks more like 6–8 companies where you can answer:
 
> Why would I be valuable here — specifically?
> What problem is this team probably trying to solve?
> Who do I need to reach?
 
We're not trying to shrink you into a box, we're aiming for a tighter signal.
 
Because the people who move fast aren’t doing more. They’re working a shorter, sharper list — one where their story actually translates.

One of my favourite moments in coaching is when a client stops mid-sentence and goes “wait — that’s actually a bigger deal than I’ve been making it sound.”
 
It happens all the time. Someone’s describing how they rebuilt a team’s operating model, or made a bet that changed the direction of a product line, or held a room together when leadership was split on a decision that would affect the next two years.
 
And they’re telling it like it was just another Tuesday.
 
Because when you’re surrounded by other L6s and L7s all running global programmes with massive scope — it just feels normal. You don’t realise how unusual it is until you step outside and someone’s eyes go wide.
 
That moment — when you hear yourself say it out loud and actually register what it took — is usually where everything starts to shift.

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The Battle

Adam Smith

Mel Fox Dhar

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Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}Adam Smith's LinkedIn Performance

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