Adrian Guerra

Adaminds

On a mission to help agency owners grow 💜⚡️

🚀 Book a discovery call → 📆 https://calendly.com/adaminds/discovery-call

Founder

Swisscom

Business Analyst

Capgemini

Senior Data Analyst

Cebedia

Koch Supply & Trading

Data Scientist

AI & Business Intelligence Consultant

Marketing Scientist helping agency founders grow 💜⚡️

DM me GROW for a FREE Linkedin outreach strategy you can plug into your business today 🎁

Adamax is a full-service software development and technology consulting company, specializing in data science and analytics solutions. Our services include product development, digital transformation and IT operations for businesses.

Ghostwriter & Messaging Strategist helping leaders achieve 70% opt-ins with a Microstory Journey using the 3-Minute Story Blueprint to build trust and convert hesitant prospects into eager customers.

Most businesses struggle to convert leads because they rely on forgettable downloads and meaningless discounts that fail to create an emotional connection. 

Prospects don't just need information, they need to feel valued, to trust you, and to experience genuine engagement. 

That's why I created the concept of the Microstory Journey, a 5-day emotional experience that uses the 3-Minute Story Blueprint to touch hearts, build authentic connections, and establish unshakable trust, turning hesitant prospects into eager customers ready to take action.

AWAI Verified Copywriter
Case Studies Certification
Sales Enablement Certification

WRITING SERVICES I PROVIDE:

📨 5-Day Education Email Courses
💲 Ghostwriting on Social Media Platforms
📰  Newsletters
🌐   Web Content
✍️   Blog Posting
📧   Email Marketing
🛒   Sales Pages
📱   Facebook/Google Ads 

WHOM I WORK WITH: I help executives, CEOs, founders, & coaches.

3 Simple Steps to Powerful Messaging
1. Define your goals and messaging. 
2. Develop a customized storytelling strategy. 
3. Execute and refine messaging for maximum impact.

HERE'S WHAT TO DO NEXT:
Email me at mike@mikehays.net OR
Book a call with me at https://calendly.com/ask-mikehays

Mike Hays

Most communication fails before the first word is spoken.

(And it has nothing to do with your message)

Everyone focuses on what to say.
But the real breakdown happens earlier:

↳ Wrong context makes everything irrelevant.
↳ Wrong timing destroys perfect words.
↳ Wrong audience kills brilliant ideas.

Here's where communication actually breaks down:

1. Preparation Phase

↳ You skip understanding their current state
↳ You assume they're ready to listen
↳ You ignore their emotional context

2. Attention Phase

↳ They're distracted before you start
↳ Their priorities don't align with yours
↳ You compete with 1,000 other messages

3. Reception Phase

↳ They filter through their existing beliefs
↳ Past experiences shape their interpretation
↳ Your intent gets lost in their translation

The Hidden Truth:
↳ Timing beats technique every single time
↳ Perfect words to the wrong person = Failure
↳ Average words to the right person = Success

Most people craft messages.
Masters craft moments.

They understand that communication succeeds when the audience is ready, willing, and able to receive it.

Quick Question:

What's the biggest communication mistake you've witnessed in business?

⤵️ Share your experience below
🔔 Follow Mike Hays for more communication insights

Mike  Hays

Messaging Strategist & Ghostwriter for Leaders - I help you turn short stories into trust, influence, and premium clients with my Microstory Journey using the 3-Minute Story Blueprint.

Want to Be the Most Interesting Person in the Room?
Stop Trying So Hard.

(The counterintuitive truth about charisma)

Everyone wants to captivate.
But here's what actually works:

↳ Curiosity beats performance every time.

Here's why being interested beats being interesting:

1. People Remember How You Made Them Feel

↳ Not what you said about yourself
↳ Not your accomplishments
↳ But how seen and heard they felt

2. Questions Create Connection

↳ "Tell me more" builds trust
↳ Genuine curiosity disarms people
↳ Listening creates loyalty

3. Your Ego Gets in the Way

↳ Talking about yourself = transactional
↳ Learning about others = relational
↳ Relationships drive opportunities

4. Interesting People Are Collectors

↳ They collect stories, not spotlights
↳ They gather insights, not applause
↳ They build depth through others

5. The Paradox Nobody Talks About

↳ The less you try to impress
↳ The more impressive you become
↳ Authenticity always wins

The Real Secret:
↳ Stop broadcasting. Start discovering.
↳ Stop performing. Start connecting.
↳ Stop talking. Start listening.

When you walk into a room focused on understanding 
rather than being understood, everything shifts.

You become magnetic not because of what you say, 
but because of how you make others feel valued.

Quick question:

Who's the most interesting person you've ever met  
and what made them that way?

⤵️ Share your story below
Follow Mike Hays for more insights on authentic connection

Most businesses think positioning is just marketing fluff.
(They're dead wrong)

It's the foundation of every buying decision.

But here's what they don't understand about positioning:
It's not about what you say.
It's about what your audience believes.

Facts you should know:
↳ 64% of consumers share values with brands they buy from
↳ Consistent positioning increases revenue by 23%
↳ Trust drives 88% of purchase decisions

Here's why positioning builds unshakeable loyalty:

1. Mental Real Estate

↳ You own a specific space in their mind
↳ Clear positioning eliminates confusion
↳ Customers know exactly what you deliver

2. Value Alignment

↳ Your beliefs match their worldview
↳ Creates emotional connection beyond price
↳ Transforms customers into advocates

3. Decision Shortcuts

↳ Strong positioning reduces choice paralysis
↳ Customers pick you without comparison shopping
↳ Premium pricing becomes justified

Where businesses go wrong:
Everyone has features.
Everyone has benefits.
But only positioned brands own customer minds.

Quick Question:

What position do you own in your customer's mind? Share below.

Follow Mike Hays for more communication tips

Show Up as Yourself 

Attracts Better Clients Than Any Polished Brand Voice.

If visibility feels like selling out, this is for you.
I used to hide behind my clients’ success instead of my own.

As a coach, I hated those polished, corporate-sounding posts.

Every draft I wrote sounded like a brand deck, not me.
So I stayed quiet and told myself silence meant integrity.

Meanwhile, louder voices defined what “leadership” looked like in my space.
Then a dream client said something that stopped me cold.
“I keep referring you, but your online presence doesn’t sound like you.”

They weren’t asking for a polished version.

They were begging for the real coach they met in sessions.

That day I made one rule for visibility.
I will show up as the room version, not the stage version.

↳ No perfect brand voice.
↳ Just the questions I actually ask clients, written in my voice.
↳ No glossy carousels.
↳ Just simple stories, real stakes, and clear invitations to reflect.

The result surprised me.

Views were smaller, but the right people started reaching out.
They quoted my messy lines, not the polished phrases.

Because leadership and coaching land when they feel human.

If you fear selling out, try this experiment for thirty days.

↳ Post as if you were recapping a session to a trusted friend.
↳ One story, one client moment, one honest insight each time.
↳ Hit publish before you smooth the interesting edges away.

Visibility is not selling out when your values hold the microphone.
What part of you are you still hiding from clients?

Follow Mike Hays for more visibility advice

The Day I Realized the Market Wasn’t My Enemy

It Was My Mind.

Most entrepreneurs struggle with the same invisible enemy:
(And it's not competition, market conditions, or lack of resources)

False beliefs about themselves.

I know because I fought these battles:
↳ Wasn't a natural communicator
↳ Struggled with confidence
↳ Came from nothing
↳ Felt "not enough"

Here's what changed everything:

1. Evidence Collection

↳ Document every small win
↳ Track progress, not perfection
↳ Your past proves your capability

2. Reframe Your Origin

↳ "From nothing" = resourceful problem-solver
↳ Scarcity taught you efficiency
↳ Your struggle is your competitive advantage

3. Confidence Through Repetition

↳ Confidence isn't innate, it's built
↳ Every post, every conversation adds up
↳ Action creates belief, not the reverse

4. Communication as a Skill

↳ Nobody is born a great communicator
↳ Clarity beats charisma every time
↳ Practice makes you powerful

The Truth:
Your false beliefs aren't facts.
They're outdated stories you keep telling yourself.

Quick Question:

Which false belief held you back the longest?

⤵️ Share below

Thank you, Holly Moe, for helping me rewrite the story I was telling myself.

I could visualize every game as an athlete.
But in business? I couldn’t see anything.

On the field, mental rehearsal was easy.
➤ I knew the plays.
➤ I knew the opponents.
➤ Everything was predictable.

Business wasn’t.

I couldn’t “see” my customers, my market, or my next move.
And it frustrated me.

Then it clicked:

Athletes visualize what they already know.
Entrepreneurs visualize what doesn’t exist yet.

So I changed my approach.

Instead of trying to see the whole future, I visualized one thing:

• One customer with one problem
• One conversation that creates clarity
• One outcome I can actually influence
• One referral from solving that problem

That’s when visualization started working again.

Because business visualization isn’t about perfection.
It’s about specificity.

Stop trying to imagine “success.”
Start imagining the next real scenario you’ll face.

Small picture → clear action → real results.

Follow Mike Hays for more leadership advice.

Authority isn’t about confidence.

It’s about language.

We often assume people follow the loudest voice in the room.
But in real conversations, especially at work
authority shows up in much quieter ways.

I started paying attention to the people who 
consistently guided discussions.

↳ They weren’t forceful.
↳ They weren’t dramatic.
↳ They simply used intentional phrasing that changed how others responded.

And once you notice it, you can’t unsee it.

Three simple shifts can instantly change 
how people perceive your authority even 
if nothing else about you changes.

1. Use words that imply direction.
Phrases like “I’d like to set the direction here…” 
or “I don’t like the direction this is heading…” 
subconsciously signal leadership.

The moment you reference direction, people look to you to guide it.

2. Frame ideas through experience.
Open with, “In the past, I’ve found…” 
or “In these situations, I prefer…”

These phrases add instant credibility
not because you’re boasting, but because 
you’re grounding your perspective in pattern recognition.

3. Set expectations clearly and calmly.
Statements like “Let’s focus on the issue at hand…” or 
“Here’s what I think we should prioritize…” 

Bring clarity to the conversation.
And clarity creates trust the foundation of authority.

None of this requires a title.
None of this requires dominance.
Authority is simply controlled direction, 
earned clarity, and consistent language.

Credit to Jefferson Fisher, whose ideas inspired this lesson.

If you want more authority, start with your words they shape the room long before your title does.

What phrase do you use to guide conversations?

Follow Mike Hays for more communication insights.

Storytelling isn’t a gift.

It’s a skill.

For years, I believed:

↳Some people are born with it.
↳Some aren’t.
↳Talent decides everything.

I thought charisma was the secret sauce.
And if you didn’t have it… tough luck.

Then one day, a coach told me something simple:

“You already tell great stories.
You just don’t notice them.”

That hit me.

I realized I was telling stories to my kids every night.
↳Small moments.
↳Tiny lessons.
↳Real emotion.

Those same stories worked flawlessly with clients.

The breakthrough wasn’t learning to be a storyteller.
It was recognizing that I was already one.

Most people think they need “better stories.”
They don’t.

↳They need to notice the stories they’re already living.
↳The awkward moments.
↳The small wins.
↳The passing conversations.
↳The doubts.
↳The tiny transformations that happen every day.

Consistent storytelling isn’t about creating bigger moments.
It’s about paying attention to the ones that already exist.

When you start seeing these moments, 
your storytelling muscle grows fast.

Repetition builds confidence.
Structure beats talent.
Authenticity beats perfection.

Your best stories are already happening.
All you have to do is notice them.

What’s one small moment from this week that taught you something?

Follow Mike Hays for more microstory advice.

AI Is Your Edge. Your Only Edge.

AI tools are the ultimate differentiator in today's market.

The old way:

→ Time-consuming content creation
→ Standard competitor monitoring
→ Manual research and analysis
→ Generic product positioning
→ Reactive customer service

The new way:

→ Instant content generation
→ Smart pricing optimization
→ Proactive problem solving
→ AI-powered market insights
→ Data-driven decision making
→ Customized solution delivery
→ Intelligent workflow automation
→ Strategic positioning refinement
→ Enhanced customer experience
→ Automated personalization at scale
→ Real-time competitive intelligence
→ Predictive customer behavior analysis

AI tools transform how you compete.

→ Using AI to understand and serve customers 
better creates unmatched value and loyalty.

Business leaders confirm:

AI differentiation isn't about having the technology.

It's about applying it strategically to solve real customer problems.

The tools identify patterns and opportunities humans miss.

This creates unique advantages competitors can't easily replicate.

It's not just automation, it's about delivering superior experiences.

Companies that integrate AI thoughtfully stand out and win.

Follow Mike Hays for more business growth tips.

If You're Responding to Passive Aggressive Comments…
You're Playing Their Game.

(Here's the smarter approach)

Everyone says, "defend yourself."
But strategic silence often wins.

Here's the framework:

1. Pause Before Reacting

↳ Take 24 hours minimum
↳ Emotional responses backfire
↳ Distance creates clarity

2. Assess the Intent

↳ Is it worth your energy?
↳ Will engagement help your brand?
↳ Sometimes ignoring wins

3. The High-Road Response

↳ Stay professional always
↳ Address the issue, not the tone
↳ Thank them for their perspective
↳ Redirect to productive dialogue

4. When to Ignore Completely

↳ Obvious trolling behavior
↳ No constructive point made
↳ Repeated negative patterns
↳ Protect your mental space

5. Turn It Into Value

↳ Use feedback to create content
↳ Show how you handle criticism
↳ Demonstrate your character
↳ Let your audience see your professionalism

The Key Insight:
↳ Your response defines your brand.
↳ Passive aggression seeks reaction.
↳ Strategic responses build respect.

Remember: Not every comment deserves your time.

Quick Question:

How do you handle negativity on your posts?

Follow Mike Hays for more social media strategies

Put Down the Emotional Backpack That Isn’t Yours.

It Took Me Years to Learn This

Most people carry guilt that isn't theirs to carry.
(And it's destroying their leadership)

You're not responsible for other people's emotions.

But here's what nobody tells you about boundaries:
They're not selfish.
They're strategic.

The Raw Truth:
↳ Clarity creates healthier relationships than caretaking
↳ Their emotional state isn't your assignment
↳ You can't control how someone reacts

Here's why this matters in leadership:

1. Emotional Ownership

↳ Each person owns their internal experience
↳ Your job is honesty, not emotional management
↳ Protecting feelings often prevents growth

2. Decision Paralysis

↳ Fear of upsetting others kills momentum
↳ You can't lead effectively while people-pleasing
↳ Strong boundaries enable stronger communication

3. Energy Allocation

↳ Managing others' emotions drains your capacity
↳ Your focus belongs on vision and execution
↳ Empathy without ownership is the balance

The Hidden Power:
You can be compassionate without being responsible.
You can care without carrying.
You can lead without managing everyone's comfort.

I spent years trying to control reactions.
It made me hesitant, unclear, and exhausted.

Now I deliver truth with kindness and let people process their own responses.

The leaders who scale aren't the ones 
who make everyone happy.

They're the ones who communicate clearly and 
trust others to handle their emotions.

Are you leading or caretaking?

🔔 Follow Mike Hays for more leadership strategies

You’re Performing in Every Conversation

Whether You Realize It or Not.

I used to think conversations were casual exchanges.
Say what's on your mind. Be authentic. Wing it.

Then I bombed a client call.

I rambled through my pitch.
Lost the thread halfway.
Watched their eyes glaze over in real time.

The worst part? I thought I was being "natural."

But here's what I learned:
Every conversation has an audience.
Every word you choose creates an impression.
Every pause, every question, every story, it's all performance.

Not fake. Not scripted like a robot.
But intentional.

The best communicators know this:
→ They guide the conversation with purpose
→ They prepare their key points
→ They listen like directors

You don't need to memorize lines.
You need to know what matters and deliver it clearly.

Because when you treat conversations like they matter, people feel it.
They lean in. They remember. They act.

The stage is always set.
The question is: are you showing up ready, or hoping it works out?

What's one conversation you wish you'd prepared better for?

⤵️ Drop it below
🔔 Follow Mike Hays for more communication strategies

Before: Brilliant but Invisible. 

After: Visible, Trusted, In-Demand.

The most talented professionals often remain invisible in their industries.

(And it's not because they lack expertise)

It's because of three limiting beliefs.

But here's what they don't realize about visibility:
It's not about ego.
It's about impact.

The Hidden Barriers:
↳ "My credentials should speak for themselves"
↳ "Good work will naturally be discovered"
↳ "Self-promotion feels arrogant"

Here's why these beliefs sabotage success:

1. The Service Reframe

↳ Sharing knowledge isn't bragging. It's helping
↳ Your expertise solves real problems for people
↳ Staying quiet deprives others of solutions

2. The Credential Trap

↳ Qualifications open doors, but stories close deals
↳ People connect with transformation, not titles
↳ Your experience matters more than your degrees

3. The Discovery Myth

↳ Exceptional work happens behind closed doors
↳ Visibility requires intentional communication
↳ Talent without promotion equals missed opportunities

The Part You Can’t Ignore:
Your expertise sitting in silence helps no one.
Your knowledge locked away serves no purpose.
But your voice sharing wisdom changes everything.

The experts who break through don't abandon humility, they channel it into service.

They understand that hiding their light isn't noble; it's selfish.

Quick Question:

What's one piece of expertise you've been keeping to yourself that could transform someone's business?

Follow Mike Hays for more leadership insights.

Watch What Happens When You Pause for Two Seconds 
Instead of Explaining Yourself.

The most powerful thing you can say is often nothing at all.  
Yet most of us rush to fill every silence with justification.

Here's what actually happens when you resist the urge to over-explain:

Scenario 1: Someone questions your decision.

↳Old response:
Launch into a five-minute defense of why you 
chose what you chose, listing every reason, seeking approval.

↳New response: 
Pause. Two seconds. 
Then simply acknowledge: "I hear you. I'm confident in this direction."

↳Result: You maintain authority. They respect your clarity.

Scenario 2: A client pushes back on your pricing.

↳Old response:
Immediately justify your rates, apologize for the cost, 
offer discounts before they even ask.

↳New response:
Pause. 
Let the number sit. Wait for them to process.

↳Result: They either see the value or they don't 
but you haven't devalued yourself.

Scenario 3: Someone disagrees with your boundary.

↳Old response:
Explain endlessly why you need this boundary, 
seeking their understanding and permission.

↳New response:
Pause. 
State it once. Let silence do the work.

↳Result: Your boundary stands firm without negotiation.

The pause isn't about being cold or dismissive.

It's about trusting that your decisions don't 
require a dissertation to be valid.

When you stop explaining yourself into 
exhaustion, something shifts: people start listening differently.

So here's the real question: 
What would change if you gave your words 
more weight by using fewer of them?

Follow Mike Hays for more communication insights.

Regain Control of Any Conversation in Seconds
Without Saying More.

You lost control of the conversation the moment 
you started answering their questions.  

And now you're stuck defending your position instead of leading.

But here's what most people miss
taking back control isn't about talking more. 

It's about redirecting strategically.

Here's what's really going on:
↳ The person asking questions controls the frame
↳ Defensive answers weaken your authority
↳ Silence is more powerful than explanation

Here's how to reclaim the conversation:

1. Answer with a Question

↳ Don't get trapped in their interrogation loop
↳ Flip the dynamic by making them think
↳ "That's interesting what made you ask that?"

2. Bridge to Your Point

↳ Acknowledge briefly, then redirect
↳ Use transition phrases that shift focus
↳ "I hear you, and what matters more is..."

3. Set the Agenda Early

↳ Frame the conversation from the start
↳ Define what you're there to discuss
↳ People follow confident direction

4. Use Strategic Pauses

↳ Stop filling every silence with words
↳ Let uncomfortable pauses work for you
↳ They'll often reveal what they really want

The Hidden Power:
Everyone can respond.
Everyone can defend.
But only leaders can guide the conversation where it needs to go.

Quick Question:

When was the last time you caught yourself losing 
control of an important conversation?

What happened?

Follow Mike Hays for more negotiation strategies.

How staying silent made Professionals louder

in all the wrong ways

The biggest mistake professionals make with their personal brand:
They let others tell their story for them.

But here's what most people miss about story ownership:

It's not about controlling the narrative.

It's about claiming your voice before someone else does.

The Ugly Truth:
↳ Silence doesn't protect you it erases you
↳ Your story exists whether you tell it or not
↳ Others will fill the gaps you leave empty

Here's why owning your story matters:

1. Authority Building

↳ You define your expertise on your terms
↳ Your values become clear and unmistakable
↳ Clients know exactly what you stand for

2. Differentiation Power

↳ Your unique experiences can't be replicated
↳ Authenticity cuts through generic messaging
↳ You attract the right people, repel the wrong ones

3. Legacy Control

↳ You shape how you're remembered
↳ Your impact becomes intentional, not accidental
↳ Future opportunities align with your vision

The Hidden Cost:
Everyone has a story.
Everyone has value to share.
But only those who own their narrative get to write their future.

When you don't tell your story, you're not staying 
humble, you're staying invisible.

And invisible doesn't build trust, close deals, or create impact.

So here's my question: 
What part of your story have you been too afraid to share?

Drop it below.

Follow Mike Hays for more microstory moments.

The Simple Clarity System I Guarded for Years

Now I’m Finally Sharing It

My career has been defined by high-stakes decisions and ticking clocks.

One thing kept me from burning out.

Clarity.

When the pressure hits, your brain 
wants options, not decisions.

More meetings, more messages, 
more browser tabs pretending to be progress.

Early in my career, I played that game.
I was always busy, rarely moving the needle.

Then higher roles raised the stakes even further.

Clients waited on my calls, revenue hinged on my calendar.

That pressure forced a hard truth on me.

Clarity isn't a nice-to-have.
Clarity is survival.

So I built a simple productivity system my career could trust.

Here is the system I use every single day:
→ Decide what you want.
→ Write it down where you will see it.
→ Each morning, choose the ONE task that moves you closest.
→ Block time and do that task before anything else.

No inbox.

No scrolling.

No “quick favors” that hijack your day.

This is how I rebuilt myself, again and again.

I have started companies, sold franchises, and pivoted careers.
Every reinvention began with one clear daily priority.

Most people confuse movement with progress.

Their calendars are full, their results are thin.

You win when your day serves your direction.

Tonight, will you pick tomorrow's one non-negotiable task?

Follow Mike Hays for more leadership advice.

Transparency isn't optional anymore.

Most Leaders Think They're Communicating

But Their Teams Are Operating Blind

I sat across from a CEO last week who insisted:
"I tell my team everything."

His leadership team told me something different:
"We never know what's really happening until it's too late."

This transparency gap isn't just uncomfortable.
It's a revenue killer.

One client lost $3.4M on a failed product launch because 
critical market feedback never reached the development team.

After helping dozens of leadership teams close their transparency gaps, 
I've identified three patterns:

↳ The Reality Distortion Field:
Leaders share information in executive meetings, assume it travels intact, 
but key context gets lost at each level.

↳ The Protection Paradox:
You withhold challenging information to "protect" the team, 
they sense something's off and create worst-case narratives, 
trust erodes faster than it can be rebuilt.

↳ The Incomplete Context Trap:
You share what happened but not why it matters, 
teams can't connect decisions to strategy, 
result: strategic misalignment and wasted resources.

The solution starts with a Truth Audit:
Document what information stays at the top, 
create pathways for strategic context to flow, 
build feedback loops to verify understanding.

Try this: Ask your direct reports, 
"What decisions have surprised you in the last month?"

Their answers reveal your transparency gap.

Leaders who close this gap see higher team performance 
and faster execution on strategic initiatives.

🔔 Follow Mike Hays for more leadership strategies that drive growth

“And suddenly…the argument disappeared.”

That’s the power of masterful redirection.

Redirecting conversations is the most underrated communication skill.

I used to think great communicators won conversations.

Raised voices.
Counterarguments.
Trying to “prove” the other person wrong.

But the more I observed real leaders, the more one truth became obvious:

Arguments don’t end because someone wins.

They end because someone redirects the conversation.

And there are only two ways to do it:

The defensive way 
→ Using aggressive body language
→ Shutting down opposing views
→ Interrupting with "but actually"
→ Making it about being right
→ Raising your voice

Or 

The strategic way
→ Steering with curiosity
→ Maintaining calm tonality
→ Asking clarifying questions
→ Validating before redirecting
→ Acknowledging their point first

One escalates the conflict.
The other dissolves it.

The best communicators aren’t forceful they’re intentional.

They know acknowledgment precedes influence.

They use bridge phrases like:
“I hear you, and here’s another angle…”
“Yes, and let’s consider…”

Not to manipulate.

But to create space for both perspectives to coexist.

Redirection isn’t about avoiding conflict.

It’s about reshaping it into something productive.

Leaders who master this turn tense conversations into
collaborative ones without ever raising their voice.

If you want to guide discussions, start with acknowledgment, not resistance.

Which redirection skill do you find hardest to practice?

Follow Mike Hays for more communication insights.

Watch What Happens When Someone Snaps at You

No Confrontation, No Conflict, No Raised Voice.

I learned a style of communication that stops rude comments 
in their tracks, without raising my voice.

It started in a meeting where a colleague snapped at me mid-sentence.

Everyone went quiet.

My instinct was to fire back… but something told me not to.

So instead, I tried a different approach.
One I’d been practicing quietly for months.

And the entire tone of the room shifted.

I responded with calm curiosity:

“Sounds like something’s frustrating you.
Can you help me understand what’s behind that?”

The tension broke instantly.
The conversation moved from confrontation → collaboration in seconds.

I realized:
Most rude comments are just poorly delivered signals.

Here’s the style that changed everything for me:

The Calm-Question Method
A three-step response that keeps your cool intact:

1️⃣ Pause
A 2-second silence resets the emotional temperature.

2️⃣ Name the behavior, not the person
“I heard frustration in your tone,” instead of “You’re being rude.”

3️⃣ Ask a grounding question
“What’s the real concern here?”
“What would help us move forward?”
“How can I support this conversation?”

This method does three things simultaneously:

Protects your self-respect

Defuses emotional spikes

Forces the other person to shift into problem-solving mode

And the best part?
You never mirror their energy.
You lead with yours.

If you want to disarm rudeness, don’t react instead redirect.

What’s one line you use to stay calm when someone crosses a boundary?

Follow Mike Hays for more communication tips.

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Mike Hays

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The Battle

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