Build your social capital and influence ◼ Over 10,000 clients served in 17 years ◼ Co-Host and Founder, Art of Charm

🔥 Command Presence. Real Influence. No Fluff.

Already invested in coaching or leadership programs… but still feel like something’s missing?

You’ve got the credentials. The hard skills. Maybe even the title.

But if your career growth is slowing because your communication hasn’t caught up — you’re not alone.

Most professionals hit a ceiling when soft skills become the differentiator.

And that’s where I step in.

❌ The truth about most coaching:

Leadership courses? Too generic.

Corporate training? Too political.

Communication books and TED Talks? Great in theory, useless in high-stakes rooms.

You need targeted, practical coaching built around your professional world — not some academic framework.

✅ What You’ll Get Working With Me

10 hours. One-on-one. Personalized. Intensely practical.

We’ll work together to:

Decode high-stakes conversations and make your communication hit harder.

Amplify your influence in rooms filled with executives, engineers, investors, or stakeholders.

Build your “X-Factor” — a powerful personal presence that earns trust fast.

Unleash your Social Intelligence — command the room, influence anyone, and forge relationships.

You’ll never watch a video or sit through fluff. This is tactical training designed for results.

💥 Plus: Join the X-Factor Accelerator

An exclusive, implementation-based group for high performers. Inside:

Get real-time feedback from other driven professionals.

Practice frameworks in live drills.

Build executive presence and influence with accountability.

👊 My Credibility
19+ years in influence, leadership, and communication development.

10,000+ clients across tech, finance, military, and consulting.

Coached U.S. Military Special Forces & Intelligence Units.

Host of a podcast with 450M+ downloads featuring world-class scientists and performance experts.

For the Analytic Mind Turned Leader.
For the Founder Now Fundraising.
For the Operator Who Needs Buy-In Fast.

If you’ve already tried “the other stuff” and still aren’t getting the results — let’s fix it.

DM me.

Let's turn communication into your competitive advantage.

AJ Harbinger

Most people think first impressions are about confidence.

They're dead wrong.

People form a judgment about you in 3 seconds.

Before you finish your sentence. Before your credentials matter.

And it's not what you think.

I've trained thousands of leaders on this.

The ones who command rooms don't walk in looking confident.

They walk in, making others feel seen.

Here's what they do:

1. They acknowledge people before they need something from them

2. They remember small details from past conversations

3. They make others feel heard, not impressed

The irony?

Trying to look confident makes you look nervous.

Making others feel important makes you look powerful.

First impressions aren't made by what you project.

They're made by how you make people feel.

What's your first impression strategy?

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A client lost a $2M deal because he was too confident.

He came to me frustrated. Perfect slides. Every answer rehearsed. 

Complete certainty in his solution.

The competitor who won? 

Spent the first 15 minutes just asking questions.

"I had the better product," he told me.

"I knew exactly what they needed."

That was the problem.

He knew what they needed.

He never asked what they wanted.

Influence isn't about having answers. It's about asking questions that make people feel understood.

I coached him for months after that loss. 

Same thing kept happening. 

Executives prepare their pitch. 

Leaders rehearse their points. 

Everyone focuses on projecting confidence.

Nobody prepares to be curious.

We changed one thing.

He started writing down 3 questions about each person before every conversation. 

Not questions that lead to his solution. 

Questions about their actual situation.

What are they really trying to solve?

What have they already tried?

What would success look like from their perspective?

He won the next 4 deals in a row. 

Same product. Same company. 

Different approach.

The most influential people I've coached aren't the most confident.

They're the most curious about other people's worlds.

What's your take on this?

Most people think being smart gets you promoted.

They're dead wrong.

I've coached 400+ executives. The ones who advance?

They're not the smartest in the room.

They're the most visible.

Here's the frustrating truth:

Your coworkers aren't too busy to help you.

They just don't see you as someone worth helping.

Your ideas aren't being stolen.

They're being credited to whoever speaks up first.

Your boss doesn't know your value.

Because you haven't made it visible.

Smart people assume quality speaks for itself.

It doesn't.

Visibility speaks.

The executives who get promoted do 3 things:

1. They speak in the first 5 minutes of every meeting

2. They share credit publicly (which makes people want to give them more)

3. They make their work visible before it's finished

Being smart is the entry fee.

Visibility is what gets you the seat at the table.

Which of these do you need to work on?

Some of the smartest people I know never get promoted—and it has nothing to do with skill.

I started working with a brilliant engineer, Daniel, who kept getting passed over for leadership roles.

He had the technical skills.
He worked insane hours.
Yet consistently watched less qualified people climb the ladder above him.

Sound familiar?

I've found the hidden factor that determines who rises and who stagnates has 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 to do with your technical abilities or work ethic.

It's emotional intelligence.

And here's the thing most "career experts" won't tell you: 𝐄𝐐 isn't some touchy-feely concept. It's a concrete skill set that can be methodically developed like any other.

I watched Daniel transform his career in just a few months after focusing on this 𝐎𝐍𝐄 area.

We worked on reading the emotional temperature in meetings, growing his influence on the team and across departments, and not letting stress get the best of his communication.

Three months later?

Promoted with a $34K raise.

Why does this work so powerfully?

Because careers aren't built on skills - they're built on 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒. And relationships are built on emotional intelligence.

The cold truth:
• Your technical brilliance means nothing if people don't want to work with you
• Your hard work goes unnoticed if you can't effectively communicate its value
• Your leadership potential remains invisible if you can't connect with others

Want to stop watching less qualified people get promoted above you?

Focus on these three 𝐄𝐐 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬:
1. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 to read the emotional undercurrents in any room
2. 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩 the ability to influence without authority
3. 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 composure under pressure (this alone separates leaders from workers)

The professionals who master these elements don't just succeed - they create opportunities that others never even see.

The fastest way to grow your network isn’t asking—it’s giving.

And it's not just about being generous.

Giving is essential for building strong connections.

It transforms the way you interact with others,
so you can create meaningful relationships.

Studies show the impact of giving:

• It leads to stronger networks.
• It creates loyalty among contacts.
• It boosts your reputation.
• It opens up new opportunities.
• It's essential for building trust.

If you want to expand your network...

Be generous, don't hold back,
and practice giving.

Here's how:

1. Offer help without expecting anything in return.
Small favors can make a big difference.

2. Share your knowledge.
Provide valuable insights to those who need them.

3. Connect people.
Introduce contacts who can benefit from knowing each other.

4. Give your time.
Spend a few minutes assisting someone in need.

5. Follow up.
Show that you care about their progress.

Giving is doing, not just saying.

Network with it.

You'll see your connections grow stronger.

The loneliest people I coach are the most successful.

A private equity partner came to me after closing a $200M deal.

He had 10 direct reports, sat on three boards, and couldn't name a single person he trusted enough to be honest with.

Success had isolated him completely.

Here's what happened.

He spent 15 years optimizing for external validation. 

Promotions. Deals. Recognition. 

Every choice prioritized career advancement over connection.

The moment he hit his goal, he looked around and realized he had no one to celebrate with.

His friends from business school had families now. Different priorities. His team respected him but feared him. His partners were competitors wearing friendly masks.

This is what I see with executives who break through to senior leadership. The skills that got you there are the exact ones that keep you isolated.

Independence. Self-reliance. Working harder than everyone else.

You were rewarded for it. Now it's killing you.

The fix isn't another networking event or executive mastermind. Those add contacts, not connection.

The fix is propinquity. Showing up to the same place with the same people until familiarity builds trust.

One client joined a weekly trail running group. Zero professional angle. Just showed up every Saturday morning at 7am. Six months later, three of those runners became his closest advisors. One introduced him to his next business partner.

Another client started hosting monthly dinners at his home. Same eight people. No agenda. Just conversation. Within a year, that dinner table became his personal board of directors.

The pattern is simple.

Consistency over time creates the safety needed for real relationships. You can't force depth. You build it through repeated exposure in low-pressure environments.

After coaching thousands of executives on social capital, I can tell you this:

The professionals who break through isolation don't add more events to their calendar. They commit to fewer places with higher frequency.

Your third place matters more than your office or your home. Find it. Protect it. Show up.

The influence you're chasing doesn't come from accumulating contacts. It comes from people seeing you as familiar, trustworthy, and consistent over time.

That PE partner? 

He joined a BJJ class. 

Made zero professional connections. 

Gained three real friendships. 

Said it saved his mental health.

Your network isn't built in a weekend.

She walked into the board presentation with perfect posture.

Designer suit. Every answer rehearsed.

Bombed it completely.

The senior director came to me confused.

"I did everything right. I looked confident. I sounded confident. What happened?"

I asked her what the board members cared about most.

She couldn't tell me.

Executive presence isn't about how you show up.

It's about how you make others feel when you're there.

I've coached hundreds of executives over 18 years. The ones with real presence aren't the most polished.

They're the most present with other people.

That director was so focused on appearing confident, she forgot to make anyone feel heard.

We shifted everything.

Instead of rehearsing her answers, she researched each board member. What they cared about. What questions they'd likely ask. What mattered to them specifically.

She was surprised by how much that changed her preparation.

Next presentation, she didn't perform confidence. She demonstrated understanding.

The board stayed 20 minutes past the scheduled end time. They asked follow-up questions. They leaned in.

They invited her to strategy sessions she'd been trying to get into for 2 years.

When you walk into a room worried about your presence, people feel your anxiety.

When you walk in genuinely curious about their perspective, they feel seen.

That's executive presence. Not polish. Connection.

How do you show up in high-stakes moments?

The most important skill to develop in 2026 isn't AI fluency or data analysis.

It's validation.

And I don't mean fake compliments or empty praise.

Here's what I mean.

Your colleague shares a frustration about a project timeline. Most people immediately jump to solutions or worse, minimize the concern.

"That's not that bad."

"You should see what I'm dealing with."

"Have you tried just working harder?"

None of that is validation.

Validation means acknowledging another person's experience as real and legitimate. Not agreeing with it. Not solving it. Just recognizing it exists.

Watch what happens when you master this.

Someone shares a challenge. You respond: "That sounds genuinely difficult. Walk me through what happened."

That's it.

No advice. No comparison. No minimizing.

You just acknowledged their reality.

What's really important is this creates psychological safety. People feel seen. And when people feel seen, they trust you.

Trust opens doors that credentials never will.

I tested this with a client who kept getting passed over for leadership roles despite exceptional technical skills. His feedback was always the same: "Not ready for executive presence."

We focused entirely on validation in meetings.

Instead of immediately proposing solutions, he learned to say: "Help me understand the constraint you're working with."

Instead of defending his ideas when challenged, he'd respond: "That's a fair concern. What would make you more comfortable?"

Three months later, he got the promotion.

Nothing changed about his technical abilities. Everything changed about how people experienced talking to him.

Here's what validation does that most people miss.

It reveals information others won't share. 

When people feel validated, they tell you what they're actually thinking. Not what they think you want to hear.

It builds influence without authority. 

You don't need a title to make people want to work with you.

It creates opportunities. 

The most valuable connections come from people who feel genuinely understood by you.

Let's be honest. 

Most executives are terrible at this because they were rewarded their entire career for having the right answer fast.

But leadership isn't about having answers. 

It's about making people feel safe enough to share the real problem.

Stop trying to prove you're the smartest person in the room.

Start trying to make others feel heard.

Your opportunities will multiply.

People aren’t ignoring you because they’re busy.

They’re ignoring you because you lack influence.

If you're putting in effort — reaching out, inviting people, following up — and getting little back… It's not bad luck.

It's a low Influence Index problem.

I had a client last month. Senior software architect. Smart guy. He'd invite colleagues for drinks after work.

Radio silence.

He'd suggest team lunches.

"Maybe next time."

He'd organize weekend events.

Two people showed up. Out of 15 invited.

His first thought? 

"People are just busy."

Wrong diagnosis.

Here's what was really happening:

People didn't see value in connecting with him. 

Not because he wasn't valuable — he was brilliant. But because he hadn't built influence.

Influence is what makes people want to come to you.

Without it, effort gets wasted.

Think about it:

→ When certain people invite you, you clear your calendar

→ When others invite you, you find excuses

Same invitation. Different response.

The difference? Your Influence Index.

High influence people don't work harder at invitations. 

They work smarter at relationships.

They:

→ Add value before asking for time

→ Connect people to each other first

→ Build reputation through consistent actions

→ Make others feel important, not impressed

My client started applying this. Within two months, he was getting invited to events.

Same person. Same invitations. Different influence.

The invisible skill you're missing isn't more effort. 

It's the influence that makes effort work.

Build influence first. Invitations second.

A VP came to me with 2,000 LinkedIn connections.

Couldn't get a single person to take his call.

He thought he had a network.

He had a contact list.

Networking advice tells you to meet more people. Collect more cards. Grow your connections.

I coached him for a year while he did exactly that. Three events per week. Twenty new connections per event. Generic follow-ups to everyone.

Zero meaningful relationships.

He was frustrated and didn't realize why. "I'm doing everything right. I show up. I connect. I follow up."

You know what changed everything?

We cut his networking in half.

One event per week instead of three. Five real conversations instead of twenty surface-level ones.

And the follow-ups?

Instead of "Great to meet you" to everyone, he sent personalized messages referencing actual conversations he had.

What they discussed. What stood out. What he remembered.

Within 90 days, 3 of those 5 people became clients.

One introduced him to what became his biggest account.

He was relieved by how much simpler it became.

Most people chase breadth. Successful people go deep with the right people.

Quality over quantity sounds obvious until you realize you're collecting contacts instead of building relationships.

Depth beats breadth. Every single time.

What's working for you in networking?

Your network isn't the problem, it's who you're keeping around.

The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.

Invest in your peers and colleagues and watch your career flourish.

Develop high-value relationships and watch your dreams become reality.

Find the right partner and achieve more than you ever imagined.

Never settle for less in relationships.

When you index your relationships on…

❌ Proximity

❌ Length of time you have known each other

❌ Fear of being alone

❌ Or convenience

You sell yourself short.

Instead focus on forging relationships on…

🤝 Shared values

🤝 Emotional support

🤝 Big dreams

🤝 And quality time spent together.

Building relationships is the lifeblood of your success.

The longest study of human happiness, The Harvard Study of Adult Development, linked your well-being to deep relationships.

Build better relationships and watch your health, wealth and success follow.

Which raises the question…

How satisfied are you with your relationships?

You're in your head and everyone knows it.

A client told me he dreaded networking events.

Every conversation felt like work. He'd run out of things to say within minutes.

I asked what he was thinking during those conversations.

"What should I say next? Do I sound interesting? Should I tell that story about the client project or is that too much?"

He rattled off the entire internal monologue.

"Is this going well? They seem bored. Maybe I should ask about their job. But that's generic. What else can I..."

All internal.

Nothing about the other person.

Conversations feel forced when you're worried about your next line instead of noticing what's actually happening.

Great conversation isn't about what you say.

It's about what you notice.

Their energy shift. 

What topics make them lean in. 

Where they actually want to go deeper.

We practiced a simple shift.

Stop planning your next point. 

Focus entirely on them.

What made their eyes light up just now? 

What topic did they gloss over that might be more interesting if you asked about it?

Next event, he was surprised by the difference.

Conversations lasted 20 minutes instead of 5. 

People asked for his contact. 

They actually followed up.

Forced conversation happens when you're performing.

Natural conversation happens when you're participating.

The difference is where you put your attention.

What helps you stay present?

After years of leading change, I’ve learned this the hard way.

Data doesn’t drive buy-in. Stories do.

During a coaching session last week, she confessed to me the 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 reason her digital initiative suddenly took off after months of resistance:

"𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘢. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘕𝘦𝘵𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘹 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬."

Let me explain what happened...

After countless failed attempts to get buy-in on a major digital transformation project, one team member casually compared their journey to Netflix - you know, the company that started with those red envelopes in the mail?

The room fell silent.

Then something magical happened.

Suddenly, 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 could see the vision. 

The same executives who had bored in previous meetings were now enthusiastically on board.

All because of a 30-second story about Netflix's evolution from mail-order DVDs to streaming dominance.

Here's why this works like nothing else:

✅ 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞: Everyone knows Netflix. It's like explaining quantum physics through football. Instant clarity.

✅ 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞: Complex ideas need simple vehicles. Netflix's journey from mail to mobile is the perfect metaphor for transformation.

✅ 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥: Stories bypass logical resistance. They stick because they make us FEEL something.

This isn't just nice-to-have fluff. It's the difference between brilliant ideas that die in PowerPoint hell and ones that get implemented.

Look around your organization - I guarantee the most influential leaders aren't just the smartest. 

They're the best storytellers.

The good news? 

Unlike technical skills that take years to master, you can deploy this technique in your very next meeting.

What transformation are 𝐘𝐎𝐔 trying to lead? 

What familiar story could make it click?

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AICI Certified Image Consultant

Elevate Your Professional Communication and Influence

Struggling to enhance your professional network and social capital? I understand the challenge of building genuine relationships that propel your career forward.

Here's the reality:

❌ Traditional networking tactics often fall flat.
❌ Generic leadership courses rarely deliver personalized results.
❌ Many coaches provide incomplete skillsets, leaving you with gaps in your professional development.

I offer a transformative solution: 10 hours of intensive, one-on-one coaching directly with me. 

No fluff, just straight talk and direct access to nearly two decades of expertise.

What sets my approach apart:

✅ We'll refine your social intelligence and amplify your influence – without tedious videos or unnecessary travel.
✅ Together, we'll craft your unique communication style to showcase your true value in any professional setting.
✅ I'll teach you to recognize and leverage subtle conversational cues, enhancing your ability to connect and persuade.

But that's not all:

Join my exclusive X-Factor Accelerator group for hands-on practice. Here, you'll:

👉 Receive real-world feedback on your communication skills.
👉 Engage in practical exercises with like-minded professionals.
👉 Participate in implementation sessions to hone both verbal and non-verbal communication.

My track record speaks volumes:

🔹 Nearly 20 years of experience in professional development.
🔹 Over 10,000 success stories from clients across various industries.
🔹 Collaborated with top researchers and experts in interpersonal relationships and leadership development.
🔹 Worked with Military Special Forces and Intelligence Agencies to enhance their communication strategies.
🔹 Our podcast boasts 400M+ downloads with cutting edge experts and scientists joining every week.

Whether you're aiming to:

🫡 Lead your team more effectively
👊 Nail that crucial presentation
🛜 Expand your professional network with ease
💼 Or simply become more influential in your field

I have the blueprint to transform you into a magnetic communicator and leader.

DM me today and become someone who is magnetic.

Want to get coached on the exact system that grew our podcast to over 400M listens and 17+ years of coaching 10,000+ professionals rapidly grow their social capital and build a high-value network?

Apply here to see if it's a good fit.

Apply to Work with Me

(These timeless laws helped me grow our podcast to over 400M downloads and 17+ years of coaching experience with over 10,000 happy clients )

[Free Training] 💰 Social Capital Networking Strategy. The 3 "Counterintuitive" Laws to Rapidly Growing Your Network Without Sleazy Tactics, Transactional Interactions or Being Inauthentic

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David Goggins & The Art of Mastering Your Mindset - Art of Charm #730

Kobe Bryant This is how you be great - Art of Charm  Ep.#746

Become Dynamic

Most people think their network is too small.

They're wrong.

It's too shallow.

I watched a VP attend 50+ events last year. Hundreds of connections.

Zero meaningful relationships.

Then I worked with a partner at a top firm. Knows maybe 30 people well.

Never needs to job search. Opportunities find him.

The difference?

He goes deep. Most people go wide.

Here's what deep networking looks like:

1. You remember their problems, not just their job title

2. You solve something for them before asking for anything

3. You check in when you don't need something

Most professionals network like they're collecting LinkedIn connections.

High-influence people network like they're building a board of advisors.

Your network isn't your net worth.

Your depth is.

Who's one person you should go deeper with this week?

The harder you network, the less influential you look.

Coffee invites.
Cold messages.
Event small talk.

You’re doing all the right things — and still chasing momentum.

Here’s the hard truth: 

High-influence people don’t chase.

They generate pull.

And the difference isn’t luck.

It’s 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺.

Most professionals make the same mistake.

They try to create relationships through pure effort.

Cold outreach.

Aggressive networking.

Forced conversations.

This approach burns you out and repels the exact people you want to connect with.

Here's what I've learned after coaching thousands of clients:

The most connected people focus on becoming someone others want to know.

They build value first.

They solve problems consistently.

They show up as experts in their field.

This creates social gravity. 

People get pulled into their orbit naturally.

Think about the professionals you seek out.

Do you chase them?

No. 

You find reasons to connect with them.

That's the power of social momentum.

Stop chasing. Start building.

35 of 36 students in our last XFA cohort said the same thing.

"I didn't realize building rapport was this simple."

They weren't doing anything complicated. Just 4 things most people skip:

Match their energy, not yours. If someone's thoughtful and measured, don't bring high energy. If they're animated, don't stay subdued. People trust others who feel familiar.

Use their exact words back to them. They say "frustrated with the process," you reference "the process" later. This isn't manipulation. You're speaking their language instead of making them translate yours.

Ask the second question. Everyone asks "How was your weekend?" Almost nobody asks "What made it great?" The first question is politeness. The second shows you're actually listening.

Remember small details they share. Their daughter's soccer tournament. The project they're stressed about. People remember who remembers them.

Those students reported back within days that conversations felt completely different.

People opened up faster. Meetings went smoother. They got responses to follow-ups they'd been chasing for weeks.

One student was surprised by how quickly it worked. "I thought rapport took time to build."

It does if you're trying to be charming. It doesn't if you're paying attention to someone else's world instead of performing in your own.

Which of these do you already do naturally?

I didn’t grow up around wealth.

My mother worked tirelessly to provide for our family, and I saw firsthand the weight that falls on the breadwinner. That experience shaped my mission: to help professionals especially women who carry that responsibility turn high income into lasting wealth without sacrificing family, health, or peace of mind.

Today, as a CFP® professional and founder of Vivid Advisory, I work with lawyers and senior executives earning $400K+ who feel like their net worth isn’t moving fast enough. What I’ve found is that it’s rarely about discipline it’s about silent tax drag, investments that aren’t structured for real life, and “someday” planning that keeps getting pushed while prime years pass.

That’s where I step in. I help clients cut tax drag, restructure their portfolios around goals and liquidity needs, and build a coordinated plan that runs without more effort from them. The result isn’t just better returns on paper it’s clarity, confidence, and more wealth without more work.

Clients often tell me things like:

“We saved thousands this year without changing our lifestyle. Now I know exactly where I’m headed.” — Law Firm Partner

“For years I felt like I was working nonstop but my money wasn’t. Now my equity plan is on autopilot and I finally feel confident about the future.” — Senior Executive, Woman Breadwinner

What makes this work is the combination of a decade of experience focused on attorneys and executives, the rigor of being a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® professional, and a process designed to simplify your financial life: a 90-day plan, measurable next steps, and ongoing coordination with your CPA and attorney.

If you’re earning $400K+ and want more to show for it, let’s talk. You can schedule a confidential 15-minute consult via the link in my profile or DM me directly.

Anthony Williams

My mom had never been to a spa until yesterday.
It was her birthday.

She looked more relaxed than I've ever seen her.

At one point, she mentioned her shoulder had been hurting.
She said her body just feels different now.

She's still working.

Not because she has to.
Because she doesn't want to stop yet.

A few years ago, that wasn't true.

She was tired of feeling like she had no choice.

We had one uncomfortable conversation.
We looked at the numbers she'd been avoiding.
We built a plan that gave her options.

Yesterday, she didn't rush us through anything.
She stayed longer than planned.
She ordered another drink without checking the time.

We didn't plan so she could stop working.

We planned so days like that wouldn't come with guilt.

Anthony H. Williams, CFP®

Helping Women Lawyers & C-Suite Execs Pay Less in Taxes, Keep More of What They Earn, and Protect What They’ve Built

We used to cry at the train station every Sunday night.
When we were dating, my girlfriend, now my wife, lived in Maryland.
I lived in New York.

Every weekend, she took the train up.
We’d pick the same spots to eat.
Walk aimlessly.
Sit longer than we needed to.
Do whatever made two days feel like more.

Sunday nights were the hardest.

I’d take her to the station early.
Not because we had to.
Because we wanted more time.

We’d sit there quietly.
Holding each other.
Watching the board change.
Trying to stretch the last hour.

When the train started moving, she’d call me.
I could still see her through the window.

No big goodbye.
Just that heavy feeling in your chest when something good is pulling away.

She’d go back to Maryland.
I’d go home alone.

We stayed on the phone until one of us fell asleep.

Last year, we got married.

Sunday nights look different now.
We sit on the couch.
Talk through the week.
Sometimes watch a movie.
Sometimes go out for dinner.

Sometimes I catch myself rushing it.

And then I remember how badly we wanted this time together.

A client told me she spent $18,000 on her daughter's sweet sixteen.
Half the people didn't show.
And that wasn't the part that hurt the most.

Her husband said it was too much.
She did it anyway.

"I didn't have this growing up," she said.
"She deserves it."

Tables set for 80.
30 showed up.

Her daughter smiled through it.
Thanked everyone who came.

A couple of weeks later, her daughter mentioned it.

"I would've been happy with just my friends there."

$18,000.

She wasn't throwing the party her daughter asked for.
She was throwing the one she never got.

We give our kids what we didn't have and call it love.

But sometimes, we're just spending money to heal ourselves.

And the person who needed something different never got a say.

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Part of a push by the company to open offices in underserved areas, Anthony Williams aims to make it “a pillar” of the community, he says.

25-year-old advisor launches new Harlem partner with Fortune 90 company, Northwestern Mutual

Anthony Williams is a successful financial advisor who has made the shift and reaped the rewards. Join Anthony as he shares his experience and insights on how to establish relationships with professional associations, build a strong brand, and generate quality leads for your business.

From Quantity to Quality with Financial Advisor Anthony Williams  - Season 6 Eps 2

Anthony Williams, a financial advisor based out of Harlem, NY, chops it up about all topics of financial literacy and how the establishment of good habits early in life can lead to bigger things later on. Remember: "The little things lead to the larger things."

Real With Omar Ep. 49: Anthony Williams (Vivid Advisory)

Anthony shares valuable insight in the advisory space while discussing the process of onboarding new clients in-person and online, and how nerve-racking it can be for a new client to come on board.

Episode 21 - Anthony Williams | Vivid Advisory

Anthony Williams began his career with Northwestern Mutual in 2014 as a college intern, becoming #1… (Feb 2023)

Marcus Samuelsson Hosts A "Community Conversation" At Red Rooster In Harlem

Northwestern Mutual Brings A ‘Community Conversation' On Generational Wealth To Harlem (Feb 22, 2023)

Northwestern Mutual Brings a 'Community Conversation' on Generational Wealth to Harlem

Financial Advisor Anthony Williams, leading the Harlem office, brings invaluable insights as a neighborhood native, committed to empowering underrepresented groups through financial education and support for local businesses.

Northwestern Mutual Expands Its New York City Presence In Harlem And Cedarhurst

My friends had to stay at the front door. 
Not because my parents were strict. 
Because they didn't want anyone to see how we lived.

One bedroom. 
Four people.

My parents slept on a sofa bed in the living room. 
My brother and I shared the bedroom.

I asked my dad once why we couldn't get a two-bedroom. 
"I paid for your Catholic school," he said.

We got education.

I wanted my own space so badly. 
A door I could close.

My dad said something I didn't understand at the time: 
"If you want to be free, you need to own your own thing."

Freedom wasn't a bigger apartment.

It was building something that meant we'd never have to hide our lives again.

I bought my brother life insurance without telling him.
Last year, that decision became the only reason he has any.
When I bought it, he was healthy.

In his 20s.
Living his life.

Last year, he got a better job.

I thought, now it makes sense to increase the coverage.

That’s when we found out.

He can’t get approved anymore.

That first policy is the only one he’ll ever have.

I didn’t buy it because something was wrong.
I bought it because nothing was.

Most people wait until it feels necessary.
Until there’s a reason.

My brother’s reason showed up after it was already too late.

I thought I had time.
I didn’t.

That’s the part no one tells you.

I called my friend an "effing idiot" on speaker in a corporate office.
I was 18.
It was my first week.

I was told to make practice calls about financial planning and insurance.

I called a friend.

He cut me off.

"Stop trying to sell me something."

I lost it.

Someone heard me.

Brought me into his office.

"Do you know where you are?"

They reported me to leadership.

My mentor stepped in.

Pulled me aside.

"I see myself in you," he said.
"Let's see how this goes."

I wasn't too young for the job.

I was too raw for the room.

Raw isn't the same as wrong.

Someone just had to believe I was teachable.

She lent her dad $40,000 for a house.
He hasn’t paid back a dollar.
Now he’s upset she won’t give him more.

When she reminded him it was a loan, he said he’d pay her back.

Eventually.

The money didn’t change anything for him.

But it changed everything for her.

Because once she sent it, it stopped being a loan.

And when she brought it up, she became the problem.

Not for saying no.

For asking him to keep his word.

You give once.
They need more.

You call it a loan, so it feels safer.

It turns into a gift anyway.

And when you stop, you’re blamed for changing.

Calling it a loan doesn’t protect you.

It just makes you the villain when you ask for it back.

I drove 90 minutes to help my uncle with his finances.
He kicked me out in five minutes and called me a scammer.
He's Caribbean.

Money in the bank.
Property.
Susu.

To him, there was nothing to plan.

Anything else meant someone was trying to take his money.

I brought a senior advisor.
I thought it would help.

"What are we doing?"
"We're here to talk about financial planning, Uncle."

He looked at me.
Then at the advisor.

"Anthony, get out of here. You're trying to scam me."

That was the last time I tried to make my family my clients.

Not because I gave up on helping them.

Because proving yourself to people who already decided you're wrong costs more than the help was worth.

4 hours round trip. 
5 minutes in his house.

And I still walked out looking like the scammer.

Proud to officially welcome Brandi Hydleburg  Hydleburg as Lead Advisor at Vivid Advisory.

This wasn’t a rushed decision.
It was a values-aligned one.

Brandi represents the kind of advisor and human we want at the center of this firm:

thoughtful, disciplined, client-first, and deeply committed to doing the work the right way.

As Vivid Advisory continues to grow, our focus remains clear:
	•	Long-term planning over short-term noise
	•	People and families over transactions
	•	Building real systems that create clarity, confidence, and legacy

Brandi joining the team strengthens how we serve our clients and expands what’s possible as we scale with intention.

This is about building something that lasts.
For our clients.
For our community.
For the impact we’re committed to making.

Welcome to the team, Brandi.
Let’s get to work.

$30K to the church.
She never told her husband how much.
When he found out, he didn't yell.

He just looked at her and asked:
"How long has this been going on?"

Years.

She'd always tithed.
That wasn't new.

What was new was the number.

To him, $30K was their future.
To her, it was faith.

Keeping it quiet didn't keep the peace.
It made him wonder what else he didn't know.

So we built them a plan.

She kept giving. 
He stopped worrying about the future.

The money wasn't the problem.
The secret was.

My client had $14,000 set aside for guilt-free spending. 
Wouldn't touch it. 
Too guilty to even think about what she'd use it for. 

Single mom. 
Works constantly. 

Last summer, her daughter left for a 3 week camp in Arizona. 

She flew her there. 
Dropped her off. 

And for the first time in years, she had a choice: 

Open Slack. 
Or don't. 

She didn't. 

She booked a place for three weeks. 
By herself. 

Spent part of that $14,000. 

No work calls. 
No Slack. 

When she came back, she said,
"That was the first time in years I felt like myself." 

In years.

Her daughter was gone. 

There was no one waiting for her at home.

We say we'll rest when things slow down.
But most of us only rest when no one needs us to show up.

She lived with her ex-husband for months after the divorce.
Because she couldn’t afford to buy him out yet.

Every morning, she heard him downstairs.
The coffee.
Him talking and laughing on the phone.

She couldn’t stand it.

She eventually bought him out.

But the memory stayed.

Now she makes $380K.

Supports her mom.
$2,100 a month.
Only child.

She wants to leave her job in 10 years.
Buy real estate.
Build something outside her W-2.

But every time an opportunity came up, she hesitated.
Double-checked.
Waited.

“I should’ve taken more risk earlier,” she told me.
“Before I was responsible for anyone else.”

So we covered two things first.

Her mom’s care.
And a reserve that meant she’d never be trapped again.

Only then did she move.

She’s buying real estate now.

The fear didn’t disappear.

She just isn’t cornered by it anymore.

I ate the same 18 eggs for two weeks.
Not because I was broke.
Because I spent $7,000 I thought I'd have.

I was living off campus in DC.

Running my business.

I had clients lined up.

So I paid for a coaching program.

Then the clients canceled.
The money was already gone.

I bought 18 eggs and told myself I'd figure it out.

I waited.

Waiting to look more successful.
Waiting for someone to notice me.
Waiting until it didn't feel embarrassing to reach out.

Then I ran out of eggs.

So I stopped waiting.

I started pitching insurance to students and professors.

Practiced the pitch in the shower every morning.

Sat in the campus café every afternoon.

After every conversation, I asked:
"Can you give me two or three people I should call?"

2 weeks later, I had money.

Bought groceries.
Threw the eggs away.

I wasn't eating eggs because opportunities didn't exist.

I was eating eggs because asking meant showing people I was barely holding it together.

A $200 monthly decision would’ve saved my family years of financial hell.
My dad thought long-term care insurance was a scam.
Three years later, dementia.

$3,000 a month for his care.
Out of pocket.

His retirement savings were gone in eight months.

We filed for Medicaid.
Waited six months while the bills kept coming.

My mom covered the gap with money she’d saved for herself.

But the money wasn’t the worst part.

It was watching my dad turn into a problem his kids had to solve.

Long-term care insurance isn't for you.

It's for the people you love.

Most people think they’ll handle this later.

Later is usually when your kids are holding the bills.

You don’t have to do that to them.

If you’re earning well and this is still on your to-do list, message me.

Let’s take care of it before it becomes their problem.

"You still owe the $9,000."
"The contract doesn't pause if you stop attending."
That's what they told me when I finally called.

A couple of years ago, I signed up for a coaching program.
$18,000 total.
Half up front.
Half due in 90 days.

I paid the first $9,000.
Went to two calls.
Maybe three.

It wasn't for me.
I knew it early.
I didn't say anything.

So I stopped showing up.

90 days passed.
The second $9,000 auto-charged.

I called immediately.

"I haven't been to a session in months."

They pulled up my contract.

"Payment was due in 90 days. It's been 90 days."

"But I stopped coming."

"Doesn't matter. The contract doesn't pause."

I wasn't mad at them.
I was mad at myself.

Because I knew exactly what I was doing.
I was avoiding the conversation I didn't want to have.

So I paid the $9,000 and stayed silent.

We keep subscriptions we don't use.
Commitments we don't want.

Not because we don't notice.
We notice.
We don't want the hard conversation with ourselves

We'd rather hand over the cash than admit we made the wrong choice.

"If I go, I'm being irresponsible.
If I don't go, I'll resent every photo they post."

Her college friends planned a week in Europe.
They'd been talking about it for years.

This time, it actually happened.

Flights booked.
Group chat lighting up.
Screenshots. 
Voice notes.

She had the money.
$21,000 set aside.
Labeled guilt-free spending.

Still, she said she'd think about it.

Not because of the cost.

Work doesn't pause when she does.
A team that needs her available.
Projects she knows she'll be cleaning up the moment she's back.

She pictured the trip.
Felt excited.

Then she pictured the return.

And realized she'd built a life that punishes her for stepping away.

Her mother is getting divorced.
After 40 years.

Never worked outside the home.
Raised five kids.
Moved here from the Congo in 2004.

Her entire life only worked if the marriage did.

No income.
No work history recognized by the US.
Nowhere to go but her daughter’s house.

Her daughter is also getting divorced.
She has two kids.
She’s the oldest sibling.

Her mother doesn’t just need a room.
She needs a permanent plan.

Her kids are watching.
And she’s the one everyone expects to figure it out.

She makes $416K a year.
And it still isn’t enough.

“I always knew I’d take care of her someday,” she told me.

Her voice cracked.

“I just thought I’d have more time.”

You can do everything right and still inherit everyone else’s emergency.

She won’t open her bank app.
“I wake up at night.
I check my accounts to make sure nothing disappeared.”

She makes $408,000 a year.

She grew up in a house where money actually did disappear.

Eviction notices.
Lights shut off.
Counting coins for gas.

On payday, she logs in.

Pays every bill.

Logs out immediately.

No browsing.
No checking balances.

Then she feels sick for the rest of the day.

Last month, she asked me:

“I’m doing everything right.
Why does it still feel like I’m about to fall behind?”

Her body learned that money doesn’t stay.

And no income can convince it otherwise.

His wife has cancer.
They haven't finished the one conversation that matters most.
Who raises their kids if she dies.

They came in for life insurance.
She couldn't get approved.
They insured the kids instead.

No will.
No guardian named.

I asked, "If something happens to both of you, who raises them?"

They looked at each other.

She looked away.

"I don't know if we'd pick the same person."

He said, "Every time we try to talk about it, she gets upset."

She looked at me.

"Because talking about it feels like I'm already gone."

So they don't finish the conversation.

Avoiding it feels like love.

Until you realize it's the opposite.

Silence doesn't protect her.

It leaves a judge to decide who raises their kids.

He lost his job in tech.
No warning.

He told his wife it was temporary.
That he’d find something soon.

At first, nothing looked different.

The same rent.
The same private school tuition.
The same flights booked three months out because we’ll figure it out by then.

The credit card didn’t reset that month.

She noticed before she said anything.

He was still spending like the $310,000 paycheck was delayed, not gone yet.

When she asked, he said it was fine.
That he was applying.

She didn’t argue.

She just started checking the account every morning.
Before he woke up.

Watching the balance drop without a single decision being made.

Nothing had blown up yet.
That’s what scared her.

She reached out.
Not because they were broke.

But because she was the only one acting like the income had actually changed.

She needed someone else in the room who wasn’t pretending time would fix it.

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AJ Harbinger

Anthony Williams

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The Battle

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Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}AJ Harbinger's LinkedIn Performance

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