Alli Rizacos - Imposter Syndrome Coach

Career Coach

Turning corporate leaders into successful coaches on LinkedIn in 90 days. Do work you love, when and where you want 🚀 I OG Imposter Syndrome Coach I Ex-Salesforce Leader I Virgo I Enneagram 3 I Projector I

In 2021, I took the leap and left my $250k corporate job to pursue my dream of building a coaching business while traveling the world. 

In 4 years, I’ve built my business to over $1.6M in revenue all through my brand on Linkedin. 

I work with high-functioning, highly ambitious, successful leaders. 

They don’t need coaching, they WANT coaching. 

They recognize that what they really desire can be possible if they invest in themselves and get support from someone who:
- believes in their vision
- has taken big scary leaps 
- doesn’t buy into their negative stories and fears
- holds them accountable to making it happen

My Linkedin Business Accelerators give you a system to get results (make as much or more than you do/did in corporate) and banish your imposter syndrome from getting in the way. 

Because you don't need coaching, you need results. 

Like Jo, Jessica, Talia, Justin, Matt, Mallory, Ashlee and Jill who joined my 3 month LinkedIn Accelerator. 

- Jo had her first $20k WEEK
- Jessica got her first 8 clients ever
- Talia had her first $16k/mo as a coach
- Justin had his first $10k mo in the 90 days
- Matt went from 1 lead/mo on Linkedin to 5/week!
- Mallory made 6 figures in her first year of coaching
- Scott went from corporate to $30k/mo in less than a year
- Karen went from $40k annual salary to making 21k in 2 months
- Ashlee made $25k in 3 months as a brand new coach on Linkedin. 
- Jill piloted her coaching program at work then made the leap and got her first 3 clients signed up. 

Whether you’re a corporate leader wanting to take the leap OR a coach that took the leap but isn’t seeing the revenue flood in (ie sub $10k/mo consistently), you need a system to build the business that actually gives you the freedom you want. 


☎️ Book a call to work with me ☎️
https://calendly.com/d/ck94-39x-3k9

Founder & Imposter Syndrome Coach

I coach high-achievers in tech sales to have the clarity & confidence to create success on their terms. 

I don't help people get their dream job, I help them create their dream lifestyle and find a job or business model that fits their lifestyle. 

Book a call: https://calendly.com/alli-rizacos

If you think you're too busy and can't prioritize yourself - that's exactly why you need to!

Visit www.allirizacos.com for more content, and testimonials

Alli Rizacos

My great aunt died last week. She was 102. 

There's 1 thing that made her live so long:

> It’s that she lived on the same street as her brothers and sisters since she came to Canada decades ago. 

Community is everything and we all say it but this kind of story proves it.

It’s the reason I stopped being a digital nomad.

For 4 years it was awesome getting to rub in my jet-setting life here on Linkedin 

But it was also lonely.

Constantly making new friends, then leaving those friends to make new friends and inevitably losing touch because proximity breeds friendship.

So I moved back to Toronto, where I have the majority of my community

And I’m so glad I did.

I went through some major life changes recently and my community was there for me.

I know that’s vague, but I’m not ready to share yet (but like as big as it gets)

And thankfully I got back up super quickly because they supported me. 

I still hate the winters, and I’m the most pale I’ve been in 4 years which pisses me off

But I feel loved and held. 

And maybe that’ll keep me going until I’m 102 too.

Beaches are cool, but best friends are better.

(But best friends ON a beach is the ultimate) 

_____

PS Just a few months ago she was making me my favourite Greek dip

Yea, she was still cooking at 102!

Do you have relatives that have lived long? 
What's their secret?

Turning corporate leaders into 6-figure coaches on LinkedIn -​> Get 3-5 coaching clients/mo on LinkedIn I Ex-Salesforce Leader I Speaker & Podcast Guest I Virgo, Projector & Enneagram 3

Last week my great aunt died at 102 and I shared how it was her community that kept her alive for so long.

This weekend I attended a High Vibe Women event in a room filled with women entrepreneurs (my people!)

I got to:
- meet people I've followed for 5 years, 
- see past clients IRL 
- hang out with past coaches
- was asked to be on a podcast 
- and speak at an event

That's what happens when we're in person with each other.

We expand and evolve.

We’re not the same person going in as we are coming out.

For 5 years, I’ve wanted to host my own in-person retreat

I’ve been to retreats that I still talk about to this day

They are special experiences.

And I’ve had this dream of bringing together my audience

To meet face-to-face to experience this magic together

And it’s finally happeningggggg

April 11-15, I’m hosting The Evolution Retreat: For the version of you your business has been asking for. 

5 days on the beach, doing the inner work to stop playing small, and start being more brave and bold in how we show up for our business, for ourself and online. 

There are only 2 spots left. 

If this is hitting you at the exact right time, I’d love for you to apply, we’ll chat and see if it’s a fit. 

Apply here: https://lnkd.in/gz7YQF9j


______

PS this is also a celebration of my 5 year business-iversary.

BIG milestone!

PPS cheers to Kristina Bartold-Sorgota and Maria Tassi for throwing a beautiful event!

I used to hide my story because I thought it wasn't big enough.
No rags-to-riches come-up. 
No overnight success. 
No viral moment.
 
Just slow, boring, consistent progress.
 
Turns out that's exactly what my clients needed to see.
 
They didn't want a guru. 

They wanted proof it was possible for someone like them.
 
Your "ordinary" story is someone else's permission slip.
 
Stop waiting until your results are impressive enough to share.
 
The most relatable coaches I know aren't the most successful. 

They're just the most honest.
 
Share where you are. 

Attract who you're meant to serve.


_____

Telling our real story is what builds trust

An essential ingredient in your buyer deciding to work with you

On March 17th I'm hosting a Masterclass on How to 3x Your Coaching Revenue With Buyer Psychology (NOT Linkedin algo hacks). 

Learning what makes buyers say yes accelerated my revenue growth 3x.

(to the tune of $150k months)

LInk to reg: https://lnkd.in/diX_tUDk

Limited to 100.

Walking away from corporate to travel & build my business felt liberating...but I had constant anxiety that the ‘job police’ would knock on my door to tell me to a ‘real job.’

That what I was doing was “bad” and they were here to straighten me out.

I’m not even trying to be funny.

I truly felt like I was on the run.

Hoping they wouldn’t find me and tell me I was delusional to think I could make it on my own.

Fast forward 4.5 years and 7 figures later… 

I can proudly say: 

The job police don’t exist. 

But the fear...that’s real.

And if you let it, it’ll keep you in the cubicle forever.

Freedom starts the day you realize no one is coming to “save you”… or STOP you.


👇 Me "on the run" in Hawaii living in a camper van

Happy Friday y'all 😎


____

PS I'm hosting my next Masterclass on March 17th

All about how when I learned what makes buyers say YES helped me 3x my coaching revenue

Instead of throwing spaghetti at a wall and hoping

Build a process that turns lurkers into clients predictably!

Register here: https://lnkd.in/diX_tUDk

Limited to first 100

I’ve been obsessed with understanding why so many coaches fail (only 18% make it 2 years) and I’ve finally figured it out:

It's because they think like a coach, not a CEO.  

It’s the difference between 

“ I want to help people” 
vs 
“ I want to run my own coaching business”

At first, my dream was to become a coach to help people

I even gave my 2 weeks notice 2 years into working at Salesforce because I was so passionate about COACHING

Thank god I didn’t follow through with leaving

Because staying for 6 more years gave me my MBA

And it’s 100% why I’ve built a 7-figure coaching business

Because when I finally started my biz 8 years later

It wasn’t just to be a coach

It was to run a successful coaching business. 

That’s what led me to make $10k in my first month

Because we don't get to help a lot of people if we don't have any money to keep the business running. 

You're ALLOWED to care about making money as a coach

It's not unethical or sleazy.

It's how you get to have the impact you want. 

------

On March 17th I'm hosting a Masterclass on Buyer Psychology and Why They Aren't Buying Your Coaching. 

Because you're already a great coach, that's not the problem

You're not a great CEO yet.

And when you know the psychology of why people buy

You bypass all the rookie mistake and get to closed clients quicker.

Limited to 100. 

Sign up here: https://lnkd.in/diX_tUDk

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I used to take rejection really personally.

If they didn't buy my coaching, I thought I was the problem

Even though I knew better, it still stung. 

Then a friend reminded me: 

👉 Objections are not a rejection of YOU.
👉They are a reflection of your client’s fear of change.

They were so RIGHT. 

Here's what's actually going on in people's minds when deciding to buy coaching:

“It's not the right time, can we start in a few months?” 
↳ What if I invest and don’t follow through?

“I need to think about it” 
↳ What if I fail and regret this decision?

“It’s too expensive” 
↳ What if I spend the money and don’t get results?

They aren’t doubting your value.

They’re doubting their ability to succeed.

When we understand that it's not personal, we can focus on helping them see what’s possible.

Once I studied buyer psychology, getting yeses got way easier.

I built it into my content, my live experiences and my sales process

So by the time I get on the phone with them, they are 80% sold

If you're getting objection after objection, it's time to change that. 

I’m hosting my next Masterclass on how to convert clients 3x easier through understanding buyer psychology. 

I’ll show you how to turn “I’m not sure” into “Where do I sign up?”

Register here: https://lnkd.in/diX_tUDk

I've been in sales for 20 years, eventho I was the shyest kid growing up.
 
But sales has changed my life.
 
I wasn't naturally good at it but when I learned the psychology of why people buy, it finally made sense and stopped feeling sleazy.
 
One of my clients was deciding between me and Tony Robbins.
 
He chose me.
 
Another talked to 5 other coaches, reputable ones too, and still chose me.
 
I'm def not better than Tony Robbins.
 
But I made each of them feel more seen, more understood, and more certain that I actually got their specific problem.
 
That's buyer psychology in action.
 
People don't buy the best product.
 
They buy from the person they trust most.
 
Which means sales was never about being loud, pushy, or convincing.
 
It's about being real enough that someone feels safe saying yes.
 
And that....anyone can learn.
 
On March 17th I'm hosting a Masterclass:
 
Buyer Psychology: Why People Aren't Buying Your Coaching
 
If you're tired of losing clients you know you could've helped, this is for you.

Link to reg: https://lnkd.in/diX_tUDk

Limited to first 100 registrants.

Ladies, we need to IMMEDIATELY stop saying this:
 
"I don't want to come across as salesy."
 
I hear this every week. And it's always a woman.
 
(I'm a feminist and that's exactly WHY I'm saying this.)
 
I get it too...there's no mainstream example of a woman crushing it in sales without being cutthroat or overly sexualized.
 
So you're not wrong for having this feeling.
 
But it's slowly killing your business.
 
Sales isn't aggressive or manipulative. It's actually deeply caring:
 
You have something that solves a real problem. 
Someone has that problem. 
You help them see you can fix it.
 
The fear of being salesy is really a fear of being seen.
 
Someone is suffering from the exact problem you solve.
 
Your fear is the reason they haven't found you.

It's time to stopping letting that happen. 

____

I've been in sales for 20 years (eventho I was the shyest "good girl" growing up).

But sales has changed my life

And it will change yours too.

On March 17th I'm hosting a Masterclass sharing the 1 thing that 3x my revenue as a coach:

Understanding what makes buyers say 'YES'. 

I wasn't naturally good at sales, but when I learned the psychology of why people buy

It finally made sense and made it not sleazy.

Link to reg: https://lnkd.in/diX_tUDk

Limited to first 100 people

Growing up in an immigrant family as a shy kid
I was always listening and taking it all in, even if I didn’t understand the language being spoken.

But I could always understand the actions & behaviours.

And there's one etched permanently in my brain:

> Seeing all the women in my family labour over their husbands and families.

I would watch my aunts and grandmother spend hours and hours cooking a feast

While the men sat back relaxing and shooting the sh!t.

When dinner was ready...the men sat at the table and waited to be served by their wives. 

Even though I was young and didn’t know any different, in my bones I knew I hated this.

And I made a decision as a young girl to dream bigger than that for myself. 

That has been my driving force for every decision I have made in my life

Every good grade, every interview, every promotions, every business decision, every leap of faith

I did it because they didn’t get to.

They never expressed being unhappy with the arrangements with their husbands

But I knew they wanted more but couldn’t ask for it.

They wanted more but were afraid. 

Every time I’m afraid to take the scary step

I remind myself of the women in my family

And I take the step for them.

For all the steps they never got to take 

But for building beautiful loving homes that kept us safe.

And fuelled our ability to go forward bravely in a world not built for us

But one in which we’re making it safer to be in for all women.

Happy International Women’s Day 

For all their labour, love, bravery and support keeping this entire planet still spinning.

💜

In a room of 200 female founders, I was the odd woman out because I'm on Linkedin, not Instagram. 

I've never felt more like an outsider...and that I was sitting on a goldmine at the same time.

Every one was anxiously recording b-roll all day, which they would then need to edit for horus to make into a reel later

As I sat there, snapped a couple solo pics and wrote down some ideas for content that I'll whip up in a few minutes on Sunday night. 

Never have I been more happy to be a Linkedin weirdo. 

If you've ever doubted if Linkedin is the right platform for you as a coach

This is to remind you of the opportunity that you're sitting on:

Instagram: 3B  users...40% of them create content daily
Linkedin: 1.2B users...1% of them create content daily

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather compete with 1% of 1B vs 40% of 3B

The math just seems to be mathing for Linkedin. 

If you're not getting coaching clients here tho, let's fix that.

I'm hosting my next Masterclass on March 17th at 12pm

Sharing how to 3x your coaching revenue when you know WHY buyers say YES to coaching

Limited to first 100 people

Reg link here: https://lnkd.in/diX_tUDk

Performance Coach to Enterprise Sellers | I help you drop the mindset trash, and optimize your daily routines to eliminate procrastination | AI Obsessed | Favorite movie: Hunt for the Wilderpeople

I'm Amber, a Performance Coach dedicated to helping elite enterprise tech sellers break through their mental barriers, upgrade their habits, and skyrocket their success.

With over 800 paid coaching sessions under my belt, I’ve helped hundreds of top-performing sellers to exceed their quotas and reclaim control of their workdays. I understand the unique challenges faced by enterprise tech sellers. 

Having climbed from a blue-collar background to the fast-paced world of tech, I've experienced imposter syndrome firsthand.

I worked my way up to find myself living and working in downtown San Francisco for a unicorn tech startup. I felt like a major Imposter -- At any minute people would realize that a person with my background was not supposed to be there.

One of my favorite quotes is by Ricky Gervais: “The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.” If other people can make it up, we can too.

I came up with my own system for overcoming self doubt, and I’ve used it to help thousands of people overcome their own imposter syndrome and mindset junk.

It drives me nuts to see someone with massive potential standing in their own way. I’m obsessed with finding the right tactics that work for every different kind of person. There’s nothing more rewarding for me than seeing someone break through their barriers and realize what they’re capable of.


Outside of coaching, I enjoy:

🏊 Swimming
🚴 Mountain and road biking
🏃 Running
📽️ Documentaries - specifically about top performers
📚 Avid reader of non-fiction -- business and self-help
🏆 I’m a 2x State Champ:
💃 Once for Competition Dance (we won with a routine on Pogo Sticks!)
🎭 The other for the State Drama Competition - we won in Pantomime (professional hand talker)
👯 I love a good dance party
🎶 Constantly on the hunt for new music 
🧠 Diagnosed with ADHD later in life 
🤖 Obsessed with AI and the endless possibilities it brings


My personality:

✅ Strengths Finder: Woo, Developer, Empathy, Individualization, Competition

✅ StandOut: Provider, Advisor (I can intuitively see how someone feels, and I’m a wealth of information from experts)

✅ Kolbe A: 3-3-9-4 (Simplify, Adapt, Innovate, Restore)

✅ Myers Briggs: ENFP (Enthusiastic, Creative, and Sociable Free Spirit)

✅ Enneagram: 3 - The Achiever

Amber Deibert

Sales Performance Speaker and Coach for Enterprise Sellers | Mindset & Productivity | Creator of the Work Like You Workout™ Framework for pain-free productivity 💪

#1 in helping women become VPs and thrive in leadership | Former Exec | Certified Coach | Forbes.com contributor | Host of More Women Promoted Podcast

Ladies, we've been lied to about each other

There's a narrative that all women are competitive and catty,

That we hold each other back,
Sabotage one another,
Tear each other down,

That we're all just a bunch of mean girls

And honestly, I don't see it

I've spoken to so many successful women 
Who credit female mentors and sponsors for their success

It was almost always other women who helped them reach the C-suite

And my experience with women is no different

Sadly, when I was in leadership I didn't really know any more senior women to be my mentors and sponsors

But when I was new to the world of entrepreneurship
I had no network. Nada. So I put myself out there....

And I've met so many new women over the last few years
Who have helped me create a successful business

They've all been inspiring, supportive, and encouraging

In fact, I'm friends with women who are technically my direct competitors
And we help one another!

We cheer each other on
And we all grow

I've built a community of women in my private membership
And these women are one another's biggest cheerleaders

So let's stop spreading this narrative

Because most women want to lift one another up

Are there some bad apples?
Of course!

There will always be some women (and men) who don't support
Who sabotage each other or hold others back

But it's a minority

And this narrative isn't helping anyone
Certainly not women

So I vote we change it

Who's with me? ✌️💜

PS. If you haven't been lucky enough to have supportive women to guide your career, you're in the right place. 

A bit part of my mission is the communities of women I create - communities that let you level up, hit your goals AND find your tribe. If you want to learn more, send me a DM. 

*I didn't know any of the women in these photos 4 years ago!

I grew up poor, and part of me is still trying to prove I belong.

I've been thinking a lot about what makes life meaningful.

There's a part of me who grew up poor who wants to belong. 

She's striving for any kind of status she can have: the car, the house, the title, the money, the vacations. She wants to know that she belongs with "that" crowd.

But there's another part of me who's been researching what makes humans happy. 

And that part of me knows that status is fleeting. Status will never actually create the happiness that you're looking for.

One filter that's been incredibly profound for me comes from Morgan Housel's book "The Art of Spending Money". 

He says: If you were on a deserted island, what choice would you make? 

If it were just you and your family and nobody could see what you did, would you still buy that car? Would you still buy that house? Would you still go for that title?

Using this filter to judge my decisions has been really interesting and really helpful. 

It helps me tune into what I actually want and what is going to bring me actual happiness instead of doing things because of how I think other people will perceive me.

The fact of the matter is, people might be impressed by your decisions for one day. But after about 48 hours, they're no longer impressed.

If you're chasing status, you're going to be chasing it forever.

If you're chasing what makes you genuinely happy, you create more of what gives you fulfillment in life.

Resting feels more uncomfortable than burnout ever did.

I'm in a period of life where I am focused on allowing myself to rest and on keeping my nervous system regulated, and it feels wildly uncomfortable.

It's not uncomfortable because it's wrong. It's just uncomfortable because it's unfamiliar.

As somebody with ADHD, I've learned to motivate myself with stress, with fear, with adrenaline, with deadlines, with pressure... 

And it's gotten me to the point where I completely burned out.

I had to relearn how to treat myself, how to work, and how to motivate myself.

It's been so uncomfortable to let myself rest and to not push myself and to not grind and to not hustle and to not go beyond what I know I can do.

What I'm focused on now is every day creating the best life circumstance that I can possibly have. Instead of operating from cortisol and adrenaline, I'm trying to operate out of generosity and kindness towards myself.

It's the most foreign experience ever. And crazy enough, it's gotten better results than anything I've ever tried before.

Now my orientation is to do favors for my future self.

I think about what Amber in five minutes is going to need, what Amber at the end of the day is going to need, and what Amber in one year is going to need. And I take care of her.

Sometimes this means doing the things that I don't want to do and the things that I've been procrastinating on, but doing them because I know it's going to put me in the best situation.

That has made it more sustainable than pushing myself, forcing myself out of hatred or dislike for myself. That feeling has not been sustainable.

Can anybody else relate to this?

Allowing Rest

You think you’re stating facts. You’re not. Enterprise sellers do this all the time:

“My manager hates me.”
“This economy is killing my deals.”
“I’m definitely getting laid off.”

Those aren’t facts. They’re interpretations. 

Story: “I’m in trouble.”
Fact: “My manager asked to meet.”

Story: “This year is a disaster.”
Fact: “I’m at 37% in Q3.”

Old Way: Treat the story like truth ↠ spiral.

New Way: Strip it to neutral ↠ choose your response.

Nothing is wrong with you. Your brain is predicting, not reporting.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
↳How to use the “court of law” test
↳ Why past layoffs distort current performance
↳ And how top sellers think differently in the same economy

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

What’s one “fact” you’ve been carrying that might actually be a story?

We took my kindergartner to the ER this weekend, and I learned an incredible life lesson.

Thankfully, it wasn't anything life-threatening. 

They needed to do some blood work, so they had to put in an IV. 

This pediatric hospital had a wonderful person come in and explain to my daughter what was going to happen. She gave my daughter options on how to make the process a little more comfortable.

I could tell this woman was exhausted. The ER was super busy, and she seemed like she was running on fumes.

As she offered these different options to my daughter, in my head I was thinking "no, she doesn't need those things, she's fine, we don't want to be a burden. This woman could clearly use a break!"

But thankfully, she was asking my daughter directly. And (thankfully) my daughter hasn't soaked up my people-pleasing tendencies.

It was fascinating to watch. This woman would offer an option, and my daughter would just vouch for herself and say, "Yes, I want that." Another option. "Yes, I want that." Another option. "Yes, I want that."

It was so wild to see what was happening in my head. 

I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to make anybody else feel any kind of discomfort because of my needs.

But this woman was just offering options. My daughter wasn't asking for anything above and beyond. She was just saying "yes" to what was offered for her.

I wonder how often we put ourselves at a deficit because we think we're being a burden, when we're not? 

How often do we people-pleasers worry that we're being a burden when, genuinely, it's not a burden to the other person? This woman never would have offered those options unless she wanted my daughter to be able to take them (!!).

I'm setting a goal for myself to try to vouch for myself and ask for what I need. My smallest first step is that this month, when somebody offers me something I want, I'm just going to say "yes."

Like if I'm at the hair salon and they ask if I want some water, instead of saying "no, I'm fine," I'm going to say "yes, I would love some water."

It feels like the stupidest smallest change, but it is genuinely going to be so uncomfortable for me.

I've come so far in releasing my people pleasing, and moments like this help me realize I've got a lot further to go.

Thank heavens for honest and transparent kids for being an inspiration of how we can all behave.

Does anybody want to try this experiment with me? What if we just say yes when someone offers us something? LIVE LIFE ON THE WILD SIDE!

It was the third time that week a seller whispered this confession to me.

If I had a dollar for every time a seller secretly told me that time boxing doesn't work for them, I'd have a lot of dollars.

I want you to know that if time boxing doesn't work for you, it's okay.

You're not broken.

Time boxing is just one technique among a plethora of techniques to help you with your time management.

If it works for you, fantastic. If it doesn't, you're not wrong. You just don't fit into that box.

Everybody needs a slightly different technique based on your idiosyncrasies, based on your quirks, based on who you are, based on how your energy flows.

If some technique doesn't work for you, that's okay. There are so many other techniques to get to the same outcome.

If time boxing doesn't work for you, you're in such good company, and you can still be wildly successful.

I share more ideas like this in my newsletter for sellers who want to work smarter without fighting their own nature. Link in comments.

The most important thing you can do as an enterprise seller is give yourself white space in your calendar.

When you're in commercial, SMB, or mid-market, you can get better results from working more hours.

But once you get into enterprise and strategic sales, you're going to get better results by using your brain and allowing yourself to be strategic.

That strategic thinking does not happen when you're constantly sitting at your desk.

I have a seller who loves woodworking but feels guilty leaving his desk to go to his woodworking garage. I told him to think about time woodworking as time on the clock.

It's some of the most strategic time you can have.

When you're out there woodworking and you're exerting some of your nervous energy, it frees up your mind to actually think about your deals. To be strategic. To think about what you want to do next, how you want to approach things, and the point of view you want to create for a particular client.

Step away from your desk. Walk your dog. Work in the woodshop. Go exercise. Wash the dishes.

Something where you are moving your body to free up your mind to be able to think.

Thinking is the highest value activity you can do as an enterprise seller.

Don't feel guilty about stepping away from your desk to allow yourself to be strategic.

I write about mindset and productivity for enterprise sellers in my newsletter. Sign up if you want more like this.

Stop doom-scrolling by doing this one uncomfortable thing for 90 seconds.

The longer I coach, the more fascinating it is to me what we as humans do to avoid feeling our feelings.

It's so wild how society has taught us that feelings are a problem. That feelings aren't okay. That feelings are somehow a moral failing.

In reality, we are mammals. Every mammal feels feelings.

Whales feel feelings. Dogs feel feelings. Cats feel feelings.

What makes us think that we're above the rest of the animal kingdom and somehow shouldn't feel feelings?

It's amazing to me to see all the ways our brain tries to protect us from feeling as a way to create belonging.

In reality, if you just allow your feelings and let yourself feel them, they last for 90 seconds.

Once those 90 seconds are over, you feel free and clear.

You don't have to distract yourself.
You don't have to numb yourself out.
You don't have to avoid.
You don't have to react.

You can just be, and you will have moved through that feeling.

I'm pretty sure you can feel a feeling for 90 seconds.

Just think of all the time you'll save by not doom-scrolling, having not given in to your vices, by just letting yourself feel your feelings.

By just letting yourself be a mammal.

I write about mindset, productivity, and the real inner work of selling in tech. Join my newsletter if you want more like this in your inbox. {Link in comments}

Most high performers with ADHD think their problem is discipline.

It’s not.

It’s activation energy.

For years, I would stare at my to-do list thinking: 
“I know exactly what to do… so why can’t I just start?”

Nothing was wrong with my work ethic.

My brain just had a huge barrier to entry.

Here’s the shift that changed everything for me:
Lower the activation barrier instead of forcing motivation.

For example:
↠ Exercise first thing (it boosts the neurotransmitters ADHD brains are missing)
↠ Use environmental cues, such as specific music, clothes, or spaces for work
↠ Regulate your nervous system first (nature, movement, meditation)

ADHD is largely a regulation problem, not a discipline problem.

Nothing is wrong with you.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
↳ My ADHD diagnosis at 38
↳ The medications I experimented with
↳ The moment I realized how much harder I’d been working than everyone else

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

Curious if you have ADHD, what’s harder for you: starting tasks or staying focused?

You hit quota for 6 years straight. January hits. Attainment resets to zero. And your brain goes:
“What if I can’t do it again?”

Nothing is wrong with you. Your nervous system is reacting to a number, not reality.

Here’s the reset: 
Separate facts from stories.

Stories sound like:
↠ “I’m slipping.”
↠ “This year feels different.”
↠ “What if I can’t repeat it?”

Facts sound like:
↠ My attainment reset to 0.
↠ I’ve hit quota 5 of the last 6 years.
↠ I’ve closed deals this size before.

Anxiety doesn’t mean danger. It means your brain is predicting.

Old Way: Feel ↠ Spiral ↠ Hesitate.
New Way: Feel ↠ Check facts ↠ Take action.

Keep going.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
↳The cognitive distortions that sabotage enterprise sellers
↳Why your brain spirals at the start of the year
↳How to retrain your brain through action (the gym story changed everything)

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

When your number resets… what story does your brain tell you?

Slumps are not the problem. Fighting them is.

I used to think it was a really big problem anytime I found myself stuck in a slump.

Whenever I was in one, I would be like "oh no, here we go again." I'm the worst. Why does this keep happening to me? I'm gonna be stuck here forever.

Now I am not bothered by slumps at all.

I've realized that everything in nature goes through cycles of growth and decay. 

There's nothing except for cancer that grows continually without stopping. 

Everything has cycles of growth and cycles of decay, and humans are no different.

So if I just normalize that sometimes I'm in a decay cycle, it doesn't feel so bad.

By not fighting against that decay, I actually get out of that cycle faster. 

Whenever I fight against it and still try to push myself and get myself to perform, that's when I make the decay cycle last longer because I'm not giving myself the rest that I need.

The other reframe that has been really helpful is realizing that rest is just as important as exerting effort. 

The rest you take can actually be even more profound in improving your performance than exerting effort.

So now I don't see it as a problem when I am in a slump. 

I just notice, "Oh man, I guess I'm feeling tired today. I wonder what I can do that could be supportive for myself. How can I do favors for my future self? What can I take off my plate? How can I lower expectations for myself so that I can really, truly rest and then rejuvenate?"

So that when I come back to working, I'm fired up and ready to go.

I'm no longer in a place where I'm willing to push myself to burnout. It's not gonna be helpful for me or anyone else.

This year is the year of rest and spaciousness.

How about you?

Follow along if you want more posts about sustainable performance and getting out of your own way.

Slumps

Last week, someone asked where I'm from, and I froze.

"Where are you from?" is such a loaded question.

Are you asking where I grew up?
Where was I born?
Where did I discover my identity?

Because those are all different answers.

I'm in a weird spot because the place where I live right now isn't a reflection of who I am. If you stereotype the kind of person who lives where I live, I don't fit that stereotype.

Sometimes I claim a different place. I tell people where I'm living now, but then I explain that I'm really from the place where I found myself, where I uncovered myself, where I discovered who I was.

If you want to stereotype me, do it based on the place where I feel most at home.

Sometimes people ask me what high school I went to, which is even trickier. 

I went to high school in the poor part of town, but I don't like to be judged on that.

It wasn't my decision to live there. It wasn't my choices that caused me to grow up in poverty.

Don't judge me or stereotype me based on where I went to high school. Judge me based on the choices I've made, the decisions I've made, and the success I've achieved.

Am I the only one who feels this way, or are there other people who have a hard time answering this question, too?

Feeling your feelings is the fastest productivity hack no one talks about.

It's always wild to me how much our emotions hold us back.

And I don't mean in the toxic way where we shouldn't feel our emotions, and emotions are pointless.

I mean that we let the emotions drive the show rather than just feeling them and allowing them and processing them.

Once you learn how to process your feelings, you realize that it only takes about 90 seconds to let that emotion leave your body.

The emotion is processed when you:

↳  Honor the feeling (there's good information in this feeling)
↳  Allow the feeling (it's just a physical sensation)
↳  Tell yourself that it's totally fine that you feel this way. (Anybody would feel this way. You have to normalize your experience.)

And then once you do, you just let yourself feel the physical sensation of that emotion. 

You notice it, become really curious about it, and watch to see what happens.

After about 90 seconds, the sensation passes, and you'll feel so free and so clear and so focused and ready to take on anything.

So rather than:

↳  shoving down your emotions
↳  bottling them up
↳  avoiding them
↳  neglecting them
↳  telling yourself that you shouldn't be feeling them
↳  telling yourself that there's something wrong with you that you feel that way…

Try allowing them.

Try letting yourself feel that way.

Give yourself 90 seconds to process that emotion, and you'll find that they're no longer driving the show.

You're free and clear and ready to take action on the things that are important to you.

I write about managing your mindset and energy so you can work with more clarity and less resistance. Join my newsletter if that sounds helpful. {Link in comments}

Wow. Terry Rice, I'm in tears, and so inspired by you. Thank you for sharing your story, and this beautiful documentary!

You really did turn the worst moment in your life into something we all get to benefit from now.

https://lnkd.in/gfJB-NSM

Open article: Documentary by terryrice.co

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