Sourcebooks

Toxic Grit - How to have it all and (actually) love what you have 
COMING OCTOBER 21, 2025!

Author

Be Clear Communications

We help progressive organizations and their leaders build robust digital presences that reflect their values, elevate their message, and reach the audiences who matter most.

Advisor

Anonymous

Chief Marketing Officer

🧩 Life’s a Game, HLG Projects

Marketing Consultant, Brand Builder, Creator and Author of Life's A Game: An anti-hustle newsletter about building a life on your terms. Personal and professional growth tips and frameworks delivered every Thursday at 8am.

Founder

The Post

Brought on by board as Fractional CMO to grow and scale The Post: the leading community for Leaders: Built By Sport.

Shaklee Corporation

Consulting with the global leader in health & wellness supplements working on innovation & partnerships and go to market positioning of new products.

VP of Marketing - Consultant

House of Wise

Empowering women to take control of their SLEEP, SEX, STRESS and STRENGTH with trusted CBD products.

Founder, CEO

Nue Life Health

4 month contract as fractional CMO to help with brand and marketing strategy.

Teal

6 month contract to help with positioning, team building and go to market strategy.

The Knot Worldwide

Following the December 2018 merger of XO Group Inc. and WeddingWire: We are The Knot Worldwide. With the mission of helping all couples around the world plan every aspect of their unique weddings, The Knot Worldwide is positioned to innovate and accelerate growth in the global wedding industry through The Knot, WeddingWire, bodas.net, and its family of leading wedding and lifestyle brands across the globe. The Knot Worldwide will deliver leading wedding marketplaces, wedding websites, planning tools, registry services and more to over 20 million unique visitors each month internationally through our brands. We're excited for all that is ahead for our brands, our couples, and our partners.

VP of Marketing

Amanda Goetz is a 2x founder, 3x CMO, brand builder and content creator on personal and professional growth and brand building, inspiring over 150,000 people every week through her social insights and weekly newsletter, 🧩 Life's A Game.

Amanda Goetz, was the founder and visionary behind House of Wise, a wellness company focused on creating space for more sleep, hotter sex and less stress. She started House of Wise during the pandemic in her garage, raised two rounds of venture capital and sold it in 2022 all while homeschooling three young children as a single mom.  

Born and raised in a single traffic light Midwest farm town, Amanda is a first generation college grad. Her dad is the town plumber & electrician. A self proclaimed over-achiever, Amanda worked three jobs in college while maintaining a 3.9 GPA and graduating early. 

Fast forward to 2017. Amanda found herself in NYC with 3 children under the age of 5 and navigating a divorce at the height of her career. Living life by a societally-approved checklist of success left her nearly broken. She spent the next 6 years unlearning hustle culture and learning a new way to approach her ambitious life. 

Amanda was the former head of brand for The Knot - the global leader in weddings. Previously, Goetz served as a startup founder building availability software for the wedding industry after spending years analyzing companies for Ernst & Young’s Entrepreneur Of The Year program. She also worked for celebrity wedding planner David Tutera as Head of Marketing developing the go-to market strategy for his brands, licensing deals and client partners.

She has built an audience of over 150,000 in the startup and business community learning to live a life of ambition and success without subscribing to today’s hustle culture. She launched a newsletter called 🧩 Life’s a Game with Amanda Goetz to help high performers learn actionable tips for living a life of intention.        

Amanda’s been featured on Access Hollywood, The Skinny Confidential, Forbes, Business Insider and more.

Amanda Goetz

I stopped bringing my whole self to work. 
And I stopped bringing my work self to home. Let me explain…..

The work version of me is assertive, cares about deadlines, financial security and being at the top. 

The home version of me is silly, soft and cares about being the best mom and caregiver possible. 

Those two versions of me don’t often see eye to eye and yet we are constantly being told to find “alignment”. 

My book is about how alignment isn’t always possible. 

It’s about:
- awareness of the character that’s leading
- prioritization 
- focus on their character’s goals 
- timeline for how long you wjlm focus 
- transition sequences to the next character 

Check out my latest op ed for The Wall Street Journal in the link below. 

And if you struggle to make space for all the diverse versions of yourself - grab a copy of Toxic Grit now!

USA TODAY Bestselling Author of Toxic Grit | 2x Founder (acquired) 5x CMO | Mom x3 | Keynote Speaker | Subscribe ➡️ 🧩 Life’s a Game Newsletter

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Popping on to say this: for every day I spend offline during this post book tour spin cycle….

the more ideas start flowing. 
the less anxiety I feel about the algorithm. 
the more clarity I have about 2026. 

If you never stop to pause and look up, you might miss the beauty of the changing landscapes on the climb.

I'm creatively tapped after my book tour so I'm running a spin cycle. 
If you are feeling the same.....steal this below 👇

Story time....I've spent the two years: 
- writing a best selling book 
- publishing a weekly newsletter for almost 80k people
- conducting interviews for the Girlboss podcast - Ambition 2.0

In Toxic Grit, I talk about “spin cycles” as intentional seasons where you wring out the heaviness that’s built up....... the pressure, the stimulation, the expectations, the constant output.

It's not quitting.
It's not laziness.

It is maintenance.

A spin cycle is a defined period of time where you reduce your RPM so you can keep going without burning out.

Here’s what my current spin cycle looks like:

1. Lower the creative bar
No “big” new projects. I’m focused on maintenance mode only: my FT CMO role and my weekly newsletter. Everything else is being held until next year. 

2. Shift from output to intake
I’m reading more, listening to conversations, and paying attention to what’s landing with people instead of trying to force new ideas. 

3. Tighten my containers
Shorter work blocks, hard stops in the evenings, more white space on the calendar. The constraint is what gives my brain room to reset. 

(and resisting the urge to use that white space for scrolling)

4. Name what can wait
I have a literal list called “Not right now” for every fun, shiny idea that pops into my head. It goes there, not on my actual plate.

5. Redefine “progress”
During a spin cycle, progress is: rested brain, clear thoughts, regulated nervous system. 

Save this for the next time you feel tapped out and ask yourself:
What would a 2–4 week spin cycle look like for me?

What can I pause, simplify, or say no to so I can actually keep going?

This is the path to sustainable ambition.

The number one complaint from employees I talk to? Lack of context + micromanaging. 

I've been silently working in a full time CMO position since July and I can't wait to share more about it soon. 

But I wanted to share the operating rhythm that I have used for 10+ years to increase context and agency across the functions of marketing. 

EVERY WEEK: 

Monday: Async priorities 

I send out an async email called "managing up monday"
This email does 2 things: 
- everyone replies with their 2 main areas of focus for the week so we know where everyone's brains are at
- allows everyone to update the dashboard with previous week's metrics

Tuesdays: 1:1s and team chat 

All of our weekly meetings happen on the same day to get aligned for the week. Since we already know what people are focused on we can use this time to either remove roadblocks or brainstorm ideas. 

Wednesdays: Hallway chat

Now that we are moving and groovin' for the week we use 1 hour on Wednesday for a "sync'd Slack hour". This mimics the hallway chat where you casually ask for the updates and things you need from someone. 

By doing this in Slack at the same time you ensure everyone gets a prompt answer AND everyone gets line of sight into other things moving forward. 

Thursdays & Fridays are open for deep work and closing out the week. 

Thoughts?! 
What do you find that works for your team?

So excited for this event!! If you are in NYC - please come by for this powerhouse event with Girlboss and Her Workplace 

See you December 15th!

✨ NYC, we’re ending 2025 with a moment. ✨

​Join Her Workplace and Girlboss on December 15th for an intimate fireside chat with Amanda Goetz—2x founder, 4x CMO, and author of Toxic Grit—as we explore how to balance drive with joy, ambition with alignment, and growth with grace.

🎤 Redefine ambition without the burnout
📚 First guests receive a signed copy of Toxic Grit
🤝 Connect with women rewriting the rules of success
🍷 Sip Juliet Wine & enjoy an evening powered by Blu Dot

Close the year in a room that fills your cup and your ambition. 💛

Register here—https://lnkd.in/eYU9Xs6V

Toxic Grit isn’t a success just because I worked hard. (I mean, I did work hard but that wouldn't have gotten it to best seller status alone....)

It’s a success because people showed up for me.

Friends who posted the book without me asking.
Podcast hosts who invited me on before they read a single word.
Former coworkers who introduced me to the right editors or hosted events at their companies.
And yes....I had to actually put myself out there and ask for help.


Me asking for help on LinkedIn.
But here's the thing...

Most of the help didn't come from cold networking connections.

These were people I've kept in touch with for years.

People who I have checked in with when I didn’t need anything. I sent voice memos when I saw they were going through something. I celebrated their wins like they were mine.

So when it was finally my turn to ask?

The trust was already there.

A lot of people get networking wrong.

Even the word itself feels transactional. “Be in my network” is just code for: “I’ll contact you when I need something.”

But community?
That’s different.

Community is built when you show up before it’s convenient. It's when you give without tracking what you’re getting back. It's when we remember that humans aren’t LinkedIn headshots...…they’re living, breathing, emotional beings (likely going through their own shit).

I believe it’s more important than ever to have a community of people supporting you through the ups and downs and life yet it’s harder than ever in this current social media landscape.

And to all of those who have been that to me along the way....as I found myself a single mom of 3 kids under the age of 4....as I found myself moving to a new city with no friends or family....or as I shifted careers....

....I'm so thankful for you.

Today's newsletter goes into how I think about networking and doing it differently. 

Read it here ➡️ https://lnkd.in/ebw89dUw

graphical user interface, text, application, email

Being a CMO of a new brand launching in Q1 while planning a wedding on a book tour. 

AMA. 

🫣

I took a week off from posting after the first leg of my book tour wrapped and I have to be honest.....I am creatively zapped. 

Every time I go to post something, my brain just......fizzles. 

Is anyone else feeling this way?

My portfolio career Black Friday wish list.....

1. Wish = Less time on social media 
Must have ➡️ Taplio 
30% off today!! 

I barely log into LinkedIn these days because I schedule all my content on 
Taplio. Use code BF30 at checkout! 

2. Wish = Less time in email & scheduling 
Must have ➡️ An EA 

I use Athena EA for my services. Get $2000 off your EA using my link below. 

3. Wish = More time back for other parts of your life 
Must have = USA Today Bestseller ➡️ Toxic Grit: How to have it all and (actually) love what you have

I wrote this book to share all the systems I use to juggle work, life and everything in between. On sale today!!

This week on Ambition 2.0: we sit down with Erika Ayers Badan, former CEO of Barstool Sports, current CEO of Food52, bestselling author of Nobody Cares About Your Career, and all-around master of building a career entirely on her own terms. 

Erika shares candid stories from her time leading one of the most controversial (and successful) media companies in the world, what she’s learned about managing men and underdogs, how to stay emotionally regulated at work, and why she advocates for not bringing your whole self to work (compartmentalization can actually enhance your authenticity). 

🎙️ Listen to Ambition 2.0 here: https://lnkd.in/gsrfr7cC 
💻 Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://lnkd.in/gGTD-pT4 

Don't forget to like, subscribe, and let us know your biggest takeaway (there's lots!) ✍️🙂‍↕️ 

Amanda Goetz

SaaS Sales Leader | Writer | Keynote Speaker

Elite Performance with Humanity

Most leaders and teams don’t struggle with talent.

They struggle with execution, especially when pressure, complexity, and hidden struggles get in the way.

I’ve been there.

For 25 years in corporate sales and leadership, I watched high performers hit their numbers while quietly burning out. 

I lived that story myself, winning on the outside while battling panic attacks behind the scenes.

What I learned is this:

The difference between good and elite isn’t more hustle. 

It’s the mental frameworks, habits, and systems that make success sustainable, without sacrificing your humanity.

That’s the work I do now.

I help leaders, executives, and sales teams:

- Build the mental models that drive consistent execution

- Install elite habits that separate top performers from the rest

- Remove the interference that keeps people from their best work

Ways We Can Work Together

- Consulting & Advising – Partnering with leadership teams to drive growth, performance, and culture change

- Speaking & Workshops – Keynotes and interactive sessions that create lasting behavior change

- Coaching – One-on-one work with high performers to unlock their next level with intention

If you want a culture where execution, focus, and humanity work together, and where people can win without losing themselves, let’s connect.

📩 DM me or email jon@jongiganti.com


Jon Giganti

Ray Briles is retiring at the end of the year.

Last week, a group of us got together to celebrate him. And I realized I needed to share this publicly. Back in 2003, I interviewed for a job I didn't get. 

But I got something better. I got to meet Ray.

He promoted me to my first account manager role. Then I got cocky. Left his team for a bigger market I wasn't ready for. 

Failed miserably. Had clients asking to remove me from their accounts.

Ray left CCC, then came back. And when I was at my lowest moment, he picked me up. Brought me back to his team.

We're on the streets of New Orleans. I'm complaining about getting a raw deal. Feeling sorry for myself.

Ray looks at me: "Jonny, where there's smoke there's fire."

It hit hard. But it's what I needed to hear. That's when everything changed. 

It wasn't about looking smart in meetings anymore. 

It was about serving. Doing real work. Leveraging the team.

Ray gave me my first chance to mentor someone. 

That led to leading a team. Which led to the work I do now.

Here's what most people don't know about Ray.

He goes to every wedding and every funeral where his team is involved. Makes it a priority.

A longtime colleague just had a tragic loss. Ray was there.

My best friend died in 2015. Ray was there.

Both of my parents' funerals. Ray was there.

That's who he is. The little things that most people miss? Ray shows up for them.

Ray built a business at CCC from practically nothing to nine figures. 

But his real legacy is the people he developed. The second chances he gave. The truth he spoke when we needed it.

Ray, thanks for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. 

Thanks for showing up. For the weddings and the funerals. For "where there's smoke there's fire."

Enjoy retirement. See you on the golf course soon!

Here's to the mentors who don't just manage us, but shape us into the leaders we were born to become.

My son, Gabe, turns 18 today.

He made me a dad. It feels like yesterday when he showed up in this world.

Time…slow down!! 🙏🏼 

But that’s life. The days are long and the years are short.

I’m so inspired by Gabe.

He’s been battling since day one. His umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck at birth for a couple minutes. We had some scary moments early, but he fought and he survived. 

That’s who he is. 

He’s taught me more about resilience than any book or coach ever could.

In 7th grade, his basketball coach called me during tryouts and told me Gabe should probably just focus on soccer. But he loved basketball. And I knew—deep down—that he had something. He was undersized and in his head a lot. It just felt way too early to write the sport off.

So we pulled him out and let him play rec ball. He kept working. He kept growing. And he didn’t quit.

Fast forward to today: he’s a starting guard on the #2-ranked team in Ohio (D7). His senior year. A testament to the unseen hours. The early-morning sprints. The gym sessions we rent out where I get to rebound for him. (I’m a former soccer/wrestling guy… basketball is definitely not in my blood!). Rebounding suits me just fine! 

But here’s what I love most:

He’s a great kid. He looks people in the eye when he meets them. Gives a firm handshake. Means it when he says “nice to meet you.”

He’s funny, but not overly extroverted. He likes his downtime. He taught himself guitar and piano…thank you, YouTube.

When he was working on his college essay, I asked him why he’s such a pass-first guard. His answer hit me good…he loves helping others succeed. He wants to be the guy who sets people up.

I didn’t show it, but that one got me emotional. Because, that’s the whole game. When you realize life isn’t about you—it’s about serving others—that’s when doors start opening.

I don’t know exactly what’s next for him. College… maybe. Military… maybe. Starting a business… maybe. Who knows.

But I do know this…his grit, humility, and heart for others will carry him wherever he goes.

There have been hard moments. School hasn’t come easy. Sports haven’t always come easy. 

He can be his own worst enemy (wonder where he gets that from…). 😊

But for any parent who’s watched their kid struggle…there’s hope. 

Keep pouring into them. Keep encouraging them. Keep loving them fiercely.

The days fly by, but the seeds you plant will grow.

Being a dad has been the greatest honor of my life. And I can’t wait to watch Gabe’s impact unfold.

Happy 18th, buddy.

I spent 25 years as a rep for a software company in the auto aftermarket industry. Went to SEMA (the second biggest conference in Vegas after CES) every single year. 

Last week was my first time going on my own. Building my own thing now.

And something hit me hard walking the rooms.

I kept running into people I hadn't seen in years. Former colleagues. Industry folks. Clients who became friends. 

And almost everyone said the same thing: "We've been watching your journey."

Here's what most people get wrong about building a business or a career: They think it's about who you know.

It's not. It's about who knows what you stand for.

I used to be that transactional rep. The one who only showed up when I needed something. Made it all about my quota. 

Treated relationships like transactions.

Then I had what I call my mid-career crisis. Panic attacks. Demotion. 

The whole thing falling apart.

And I had to rebuild everything. Including how I showed up for people.
The shift? 

I stopped networking and started serving.

I started connecting people who should know each other. Invited clients to our house so they could meet each other. Michelle and I would host dinners. Just breaking bread together. Building real trust.

Pro tip: If you want to build deep trust with people, invite them over and feed them. Works with clients. Works with your team. Break bread. Share some wine. Be human together.

That wasn't a strategy. That was just caring about people beyond what they could do for my number.

Fast forward to last week. Walking SEMA on my own for the first time. And my reputation was the only thing I had to sell.

Turns out, that was enough.

So, here's my question: Are you building a network or building relationships? 

Because one gets you meetings. The other gets you "we've been watching your journey."

Real moment from last week that I'm still thinking about.

I'm at SEMA in Vegas. First time going on my own, not representing my old software company. Just me, building this leadership development thing I'm doing now.

And I run into Daniel Keenan. My old manager from years ago.

Here's the context you need: Dan had the unfortunate job of managing me when I was a selfish, transactional sales rep. 

I wasn't very good at my job because I made it all about me and my quota and I wasn't putting in the work.

We had this incredible conversation. He told me how much he's been following my journey. His words of encouragement meant more than he probably knows.

But here's the part that hit different.

I'm starting to partner with a company to do deeper coaching work with their people. I'll be running a workshop for their sales team next month. We're exploring a longer-term partnership.

One of the execs pulled me aside on the last night of the conference and said something I won't forget:

"You're one of us now."

That's it. Five words.

But those five words represent everything I've been building toward. Moving from vendor to trusted partner. From someone who sells things to someone who's genuinely invested in their success.

I'm not sharing this to brag. 

I'm sharing it to show you that even a guy like me (former selfish, transactional rep who had to rebuild his entire career) can turn things around.

The key? Building so much trust that your clients start to see you as part of their team.

Here's what that looks like in practice:

People from my past reaching out because they've been watching my journey

Publishing content consistently that actually adds value. 

Former managers like Dan seeing the transformation and encouraging the work. 

Clients inviting me deeper into their organizations.

Being called "one of us" instead of "our vendor".

That's the business I want to build. Not the biggest. But the one built on real relationships and genuine trust.

Are you trying to close deals, or are you trying to become "one of them"? 

Because those are two very different approaches.

Here's the irony that hit me recently.

My last name is Giganti. It literally means "big" in Italian. And I've spent most of my career playing small.

Sitting in meetings at my old software company, deferring to everyone. 

Looking at someone's title or education and thinking I didn't belong. Holding back my ideas because maybe someone smarter should speak first.

Sound familiar?

Here's what I've realized after 11 months of building my own thing: We ALL do this. Every single one of us has moments where we play smaller than we should. And it's costing us everything.

Not just the deal we didn't close or the opportunity we didn't take. 

It's the impact we're NOT having. The people we're NOT serving. The brilliance we're keeping to ourselves.

We tell ourselves we're being humble. But really? We're just afraid of what people might think.

Afraid we'll look arrogant. Afraid we'll fail. Afraid we don't actually belong in the room.

So, we play small. 

We defer. We wait for permission. We let our fear decide our ceiling.

I saw this shift at a conference recently. 

First time going as my own company. And something changed in how I showed up. I wasn't trying to impress anyone. 

I was just showing up as someone who belongs. 

Asking questions. Being curious. Treating every conversation like "are we a match?" instead of "please validate me."

That's the shift. 

From playing small to playing big. And before you think this is about ego or cockiness, let me be clear: It's not.

Playing big isn't about being the loudest person in the room. 

It's about believing you have value to offer and actually offering it.
It's about realizing that when you play small, you're not just hurting yourself. You're hurting everyone who could benefit from what you bring.

So, here's my question: Where are you playing small right now? And what's it costing you?

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Not the panic attacks. Not the demotion. Not the financial mess that bled into everything, including my family.

You know who I used to be? 

That cocky 28-year-old sales guy who told his boss, “I don’t need to keep Salesforce updated, I just close deals.”

Arrogant. Self-centered. All about my quota.

I cringe thinking about that guy. 

But I needed to be him to become who I am now. When everything fell apart…when I couldn’t speak without panic attacks, when my job security disappeared, when the bills piled up…I had a choice. 

Quit or rebuild.

I chose rebuild. But there was no playbook.

Every Thursday at 7am for two years, I showed up at a local church for Toastmasters. Just trying to rebuild my speaking confidence. I was terrified. 

Did it anyway.

I took every speaking opportunity I could get. Charity events. Sports teams. Anywhere that would have me. 

Each one scared the hell out of me. 
Did them all.

And slowly, things started to shift.
I stopped making everything about my quota. Started focusing on actually serving people. 

I stopped winging client meetings and built real processes. 

Got on whiteboards to dream with clients, not at them. I didn’t know if any of it would work. But people felt the difference.

Because this time, I genuinely wanted to help. Before, it was all about me and my numbers.

I had a couple leaders who believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. 
They encouraged me to invent my future, even though there wasn’t a clear path. Their support showed me that being vulnerable wasn’t weakness, it was the starting point for something better.

Now I’m building my own thing. 

A high-performance leadership development company. And I get to work with leaders going through their own versions of what I went through.
If you’re in your own crisis right now…performance issues, leadership challenges, feeling stuck…here’s what I want you to know:

You’re not broken. 

This might be exactly what you need to become who you’re meant to be.
But you have to slow down enough to learn from it. 

Get in rooms with people who’ll tell you the truth. Build real relationships, not just transactional ones.

That’s the shift from quota-chaser to trusted partner. From performing to transforming.

And I wouldn’t trade a single failure that got me here.

A former colleague asked me a question last week that I haven't stopped thinking about.

"When did you know you were going to do this type of work? Coaching and developing people?"

I thought about it for a second. Then it hit me. 8th grade.

I was deep into my soccer and wrestling seasons. Picked up this book by Howard Ferguson, the legendary wrestling coach from St. Ed's in Cleveland. It was called "The Edge."

I couldn't put that book down. 

Something about it just hit me different.

And I knew. Right then at 13 years old, I knew I was meant to build into people.

Then life happened.

Both my parents were school teachers. I married one too (Michelle). I even thought about becoming a teacher myself. But I went into business instead. Spent 25 years in software sales.

I'm glad I did. 

Because now I get to teach and coach and build into others. But I do it with 25 years of real-world business experience. 

The failures. The panic attacks. The demotion. The rebuild. All of it.

I consider myself a student more than anything. I laugh and say the older I get, the less I know. And I'm good with that.

Life takes funny turns, doesn't it?

That 8th grade kid reading about coaching knew something the 28-year-old selfish sales rep had forgotten. That it's not about you. It's about serving others. Building into people.

It took me hitting rock bottom to remember what I knew at 13.

Now I'm 11 months into building this company. And I pinch myself that this is actually working. That I get to partner with companies and build into their people. That former colleagues and clients are reaching out because they've been watching the journey.

That conversation with Dan. That "you're one of us now" moment. Companies wanting to go deeper and do long-term partnerships.

This is what happens when you finally stop running from the work that's been pulling at you your whole life.

If you're feeling that pull toward something different, something that matters more than just hitting your numbers... don't ignore it.

It might take you 25 years to get there like it did for me. 

Or maybe you're smarter and it won't take as long.

Either way, the work that's meant for you will keep calling. Eventually, you have to answer.

What's been calling you that you keep putting off?

You want to know what changed everything for me?

I stopped trying to be impressive and started trying to be useful.

Here's the framework I learned the hard way: The Serve-First Shift.

When I was rebuilding my career after everything fell apart, I had to get honest about how I'd been showing up. 

Selfish. Transactional. All about my numbers.

So, I completely flipped it.

1. Connect people who should know each other 

Stop hoarding relationships. If two people in your network could help each other, introduce them. Don't wait for something in it for you.

2. Show your work 

I read Austin Kleon's book "Show Your Work" back in May 2024. Changed how I thought about visibility. I started publishing consistently. Not to promote myself, but to add value. To teach what I was learning.

3. Break bread together 

This one's simple but powerful. Invite people to your home. Feed them. Let them see you as a human, not just a vendor or colleague. Michelle and I started hosting dinners for clients. Let them get to know each other. Built trust in ways that conference calls never could.

4. Play the long game 

Reputation compounds. Every interaction is a deposit or a withdrawal. Most people optimize for the quick win. I started optimizing for "what will people say about me in five years?" 

Instead of winning deals my mantra became, how can I get curious and solve real business problems.

Here's what I know after this three-decade business journey: The best business doesn't come from the best pitch. 

It comes from being the person people trust enough to call when they have a problem.

Last week at SEMA, I had more real conversations in three days than I used to have in three months of "networking." Because I wasn't trying to sell anything. I was just showing up as someone who genuinely cares about serving others.

And you know what? 

The business is coming anyway. Better business. From people who already trust me.

The shift from transactional to serve-first isn't just better for your soul. It's better for your business.

Who are you serving today, not because it helps your numbers, but because it's the right thing to do?

I need to be honest with you about something.

This playing bigger thing? It's a daily battle for me too.

Every single day, I wake up and have to make the choice. 

Play big or play small. Show up or hide. Offer my brilliance or keep it safe.

There's a Bible verse that's been hitting me lately. John 10:10. It says the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus came to give us life to the fullest.

And regardless of your faith, here's what's true: We're under attack. 

From our own doubts. Our own fears. Our own insecurities.

We're our own worst enemy way too often.

I'm standing shoulder to shoulder with you on this. It's not like I figured this out and now I'm good. It's a daily choice. A battle.

Some days I win. Some days I don't.

But here's what I've learned: Playing bigger isn't a feeling. It's a choice.

You don't wait to feel confident. You choose to act confident and the feeling follows.

You don't wait to feel like you belong. You choose to show up like you belong and eventually you believe it.

That's why I named my company Giganti Group. It's aspirational. Even for me.

Every day I see that name and I have to ask myself: Am I living into it? Am I playing as big as my name suggests? Or am I playing small again?

Most days, honestly, I'm somewhere in the middle. Working on it. Tracking it. Getting better.

That 5 to 8.5 shift I mentioned? That's real progress. But it's not done. I'm not at a 10. 

Maybe I never will be.

But I'm choosing to move forward. Daily.

Here's what I want you to know:
You're not alone in this fight. We're all battling the same doubts. The same fears. The same voice that says "who do you think you are?"

But we get to choose. 

We get to play big. We get to live into our brilliance.
Not because we feel like it. But because we choose it.

How do you win today? How do you play bigger today?

Remember, it's not about cockiness. It's not about ego. It's about belief.

Belief that you have something valuable to offer. 
Belief that when you play small, people miss out on what you bring. 
Belief that you were made for more than hiding.

I love Todd Herman's work on alter-ego. We all need it. We all need that version of ourselves who plays bigger. 

Who shows up. 
Who doesn't defer.

And we get to choose that version. Daily.

So I'm choosing it today. Even though I'm scared. Even though I doubt. 

Even though part of me wants to play it safe.

I'm choosing Giganti. The big version. The one who shows up.

What are you choosing today?

Real numbers from my own playing bigger journey:

28 days. Daily tracking. One specific habit.

Started at a 5 out of 10. Ended at 8.5 out of 10.

Here's what happened.

I've been working with Level Up Creators as my business partners. They challenged me to get serious about playing bigger. Not just talk about it. 

Actually track it. So, I used the Habit Builder framework. 

I made it specific: "When I feel myself playing small, instead of staying quiet, I will speak up and offer my perspective."

Tracked it every single day for 28 days. Had an accountability partner (thank you Stacy). Had a great coach (Eduardo Briceño) rooting me on!

And my score went from 5 to 8.5 in less than a month (scale of 1-10). 

That's the power of intentionality. Of making playing bigger a daily choice instead of just a nice idea.

You know what else changed?

I find myself showing up completely differently than I ever have.

Not trying to impress. Not comparing myself. Just showing up like I belong. 

Match-making instead of proving. Curious instead of performing.

And the conversations were different. The connections were real. The opportunities that came out of it? 

Better than anything I forced in 25 years of "networking."

That's what happens when you track the daily choice to play bigger.

Here's what I know: Playing bigger isn't about a one-time decision. It's about the daily choice. The moment-by-moment decision to stop deferring and start showing up.

And when you track it? When you measure it? When you have someone holding you accountable?

You actually shift. 5 to 8.5. 
In 28 days.

The math is simple:
⟶ Identify the specific habit
⟶ Make it a When/Instead/I Will statement
⟶ Track it daily
⟶ Get an accountability partner
⟶ Measure the shift

It's amazing what we can do when we're intentional.

So, my question: What would change if you tracked your "playing bigger" habit for 28 days?

What score are you at now? And where could you be?

Want to know the framework that changed how I think about playing bigger?

It's called the Awareness Matrix. And it's the difference between knowing your strengths and actually living into your brilliance. Here's what most people get wrong:

They work on their strengths. They try to fix their weaknesses. And they wonder why they're still not breaking through.

The real work? It's on the edges.

Your strengths are things you're good at. You know them. Other people know them. They're visible.

Your brilliance? 

That's the thing that comes so naturally to you that you don't even see it. It's like water to a fish. You're swimming in it but you can't see it.

For me, it's listening and building trust. 

Connecting with people. Creating space where they feel safe being real.

I didn't know that was my brilliance for years. 

I thought everyone could do that. One of the best things I did in recent years was take Strategic Coach's approach to Unique Ability. I asked 15 people what they thought my unique ability was.

It was powerful...humbling...and exciting.

Hearing a dozen people say the same thing about what comes easy to me. That's when I realized: This is my brilliance. This is what I'm supposed to give to the world.

Same thing on the other side.

Your weaknesses? You know them. You can work on them. They're visible.

Your blindspots? 

Those are the things you can't see. Your Achilles heel. The thing that's limiting you but you don't even know it's there.

We all have them. 

And we can't fix what we can't see. That's why you need truth-tellers. People who will tell you what you can't see about yourself. 

Here's the other piece my business partners at Level Up Creators taught me: matchmaking.

Stop showing up to meetings trying to impress people. Stop comparing yourself. Stop wondering if you belong.

Just show up curious and interested. 

Ask questions to figure out: Are we a match? Not better. Not worse. Just a match or not a match.

That shift alone will change how you play.

So here's what playing bigger actually looks like: Do the work to identify your brilliance (not just your strengths). 

Ask people. Get coaching. Use assessments. 

Find out what's invisible to you.

Do the work to find your blindspots (not just your weaknesses). Get truth-tellers in your life. Ask the hard questions. 

Be willing to hear what you can't see.

Show up to every conversation asking "are we a match?" instead of "do I belong here?"

When you do this work, playing bigger stops being about confidence or ego. It becomes about clarity.

You know what you bring. You know what to watch out for. And you show up accordingly.

Where do you need to do the work? On your brilliance or your blindspots?

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Jon Giganti

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