Performance Coach to Enterprise Sellers | I help you drop the mindset trash, and optimize your daily routines to eliminate procrastination | AI Obsessed | Favorite movie: Hunt for the Wilderpeople

I'm Amber, a Performance Coach dedicated to helping elite enterprise tech sellers break through their mental barriers, upgrade their habits, and skyrocket their success.

With over 800 paid coaching sessions under my belt, I’ve helped hundreds of top-performing sellers to exceed their quotas and reclaim control of their workdays. I understand the unique challenges faced by enterprise tech sellers. 

Having climbed from a blue-collar background to the fast-paced world of tech, I've experienced imposter syndrome firsthand.

I worked my way up to find myself living and working in downtown San Francisco for a unicorn tech startup. I felt like a major Imposter -- At any minute people would realize that a person with my background was not supposed to be there.

One of my favorite quotes is by Ricky Gervais: “The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.” If other people can make it up, we can too.

I came up with my own system for overcoming self doubt, and I’ve used it to help thousands of people overcome their own imposter syndrome and mindset junk.

It drives me nuts to see someone with massive potential standing in their own way. I’m obsessed with finding the right tactics that work for every different kind of person. There’s nothing more rewarding for me than seeing someone break through their barriers and realize what they’re capable of.


Outside of coaching, I enjoy:

🏊 Swimming
🚴 Mountain and road biking
🏃 Running
📽️ Documentaries - specifically about top performers
📚 Avid reader of non-fiction -- business and self-help
🏆 I’m a 2x State Champ:
💃 Once for Competition Dance (we won with a routine on Pogo Sticks!)
🎭 The other for the State Drama Competition - we won in Pantomime (professional hand talker)
👯 I love a good dance party
🎶 Constantly on the hunt for new music 
🧠 Diagnosed with ADHD later in life 
🤖 Obsessed with AI and the endless possibilities it brings


My personality:

✅ Strengths Finder: Woo, Developer, Empathy, Individualization, Competition

✅ StandOut: Provider, Advisor (I can intuitively see how someone feels, and I’m a wealth of information from experts)

✅ Kolbe A: 3-3-9-4 (Simplify, Adapt, Innovate, Restore)

✅ Myers Briggs: ENFP (Enthusiastic, Creative, and Sociable Free Spirit)

✅ Enneagram: 3 - The Achiever

Amber Deibert

I was just reflecting on a year of completely transforming my health.

The keys for me were:

Knowing myself (I need accountability, not online courses)
Giving myself permission to do it messy

A year ago, I had gotten into a regular rhythm of going to the gym (!!), and I was really proud of myself. 

I would wake up early every morning (something I thought I would NEVER - like really, NEVER - be able to do), and I would either run, swim, or bike. 

But then there was a part of me that wanted to learn to strength train, but I was terrified. 

(I avoided the weightlifting side of the gym).

Sometimes I would have to go through the weights side to get to the yoga room, and I felt SO UNCOMFORTABLE I wanted to crawl out of my skin. 

I felt like all these super ripped people were staring at me, and their eyes said, “what are you doing over here?! You obviously don’t belong!”

But I did really want to learn how to do it.  

I could have found a course to teach me, but I knew I wouldn't actually do it, so I had another option: working with a personal trainer at my gym. 

But come on, I’m not the kind of person who hires a personal trainer?! Sheesh, that’s got to be like millions of dollars, and who does that?? I’m not that kind of person. Plus, how embarrassing would it be to admit that you have no idea what you’re doing and make a complete fool of yourself IN FRONT of an expert?? Psh… yeah right. 

HOWEVER (judgy Amber, take note…), I also know about myself that the best way I can support my goals is with outside accountability. 

So in January last year, I bit the bullet and signed up to work with a personal trainer. I wanted someone to teach me how to lift, how to use the machines, and watch my form to make sure I didn’t break myself. (And I found that actually it was not MILLIONS of dollars…)

I committed to 6 months. 

Y’all… this is the best money I’ve ever spent in my entire life. 

Investing in a personal trainer CHANGED MY ENTIRE LIFE. 

Getting the knowledge I needed (straight from someone who was an expert!) accelerated my growth. 

Having that person to cheer me on kept me consistent, and everything I did was personalized to me and my goals (and weaknesses, ha!). 

I'm not joking when I say that this positively impacted every single area of my life. 

↳  my health improved (duh)
↳  my eating improved 
↳  my relationships improved 
↳  my parenting improved
↳  my professional life improved 
↳  I made more money than ever before 
↳  my confidence skyrocketed 

And now I’m obsessed with strength training. 

I can’t get enough of it. I crave it. 

I love showing myself what I can do. 

I feel so proud of myself. 

If you're staring down some personal change that you want to make, I hope this gives you hope. You can absolutely do it. 

Give yourself a lot of time, and a lot of understanding, and it's as good as done!

Sales Performance Speaker and Coach for Enterprise Sellers | Mindset & Productivity | Creator of the Work Like You Workout™ Framework for pain-free productivity 💪

I had a full circle moment at the gym this morning. 

It made me realize I’m so grateful to myself for letting myself be a sucky beginner. 

A year ago, I committed to learning how to strength train.

It was an awkward, uncomfortable process to learn how to strength train, but now I can't imagine my life without it!!

I love it so much!

So this morning I jumped on my old treadmill (after avoiding cardio for a year), and just had a moment. 

Holy moly.

I met myself from a year ago. Wow. 

That Amber would never believe who I am today. She honestly wouldn’t be able to process it.

I'm so grateful to myself for:

↳ being willing to look like an idiot
↳ being a sloppy beginner 
↳  betting on myself
↳  not quitting (even when it sucked and every muscle in my body was screaming at me)
↳  pushing through the self-doubt
↳  being brave enough to feel all the feelings 
↳  making the best financial investment of my life (hiring a personal trainer to coach me and keep me accountable!)
↳  knowing and accepting myself and setting myself up with the best possible chance at success (courses)

For those of you who aren’t sure if you can create your dream life and are feeling doubt, I hope this gives YOU some hope. 

For those of you who have been through a similar life transformation, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!!! Look how far you’ve come! Holy mother!! You’re doing it!

Be willing to feel stupid as a beginner. It’s just part of the process.

I got braces again last month.

Yes, again.
Yes, I’m vain.
And no, I did not have “adult braces as a mindset lesson” on my 2026 bingo card.

But it cracked something open for me in the best way.

Because the first time I had braces, I was a broke college kid working at Kinko’s… counting dollars… saying no to an $8 burrito because I literally didn’t have it.

But this time I paid for my son’s braces and mine upfront, and it barely registered.

And it hit me: we don’t feel successful when we become successful.

We only feel it when we stop long enough to notice the contrast.

Nothing is wrong with you.
You’re just measuring yourself with the wrong ruler.

Old Way vs New Way (how high performers measure success)

Old Way
↳ You measure your life by the gap (where you are vs where you “should” be)
↳ Comparison quietly erases your progress
↳ You chase “status” and call it ambition (and the finish line keeps moving)

New Way
↳ You measure your life by the gain (how far you’ve actually come)
↳ You choose goals based on values, not optics
↳ You ask one question before you chase the next thing:

“Would I still want this if no one could see it… and I couldn’t compare it to anyone else?”

That question will expose what’s aligned… and what’s just performance.

Keep going.
Just make sure you’re running toward what you want, not what looks impressive for 48 hours.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
↳ Why comparison makes even “successful” people feel behind
↳ The desert-island test that instantly reveals whether you want something for you or for status
How to use money (and achievement) as a tool, not a scoreboard

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

What’s something you’re proud of that your younger self would be absolutely blown away by?

If you have ADHD, it’s not that you don’t know what’s important. It’s that your brain is wired to follow what’s interesting.

I learned that:

Neurotypicals do what is IMPORTANT.

ADHDers do what is INTERESTING.

So, when you find yourself doing literally anything except the thing you “should” be doing?
↳  You’re not irresponsible.
↳  You’re not avoiding.
↳  Your brain is simply chasing stimulation.

This is absolutely solvable.

Once you understand your interest-driven brain, you can build systems that make the important things feel interesting, or at least doable.

I teach these techniques to my ADHD clients (and use them myself), and they’re game-changing for getting the high-value work done each day.

Want more ADHD-friendly productivity tools?
Subscribe to my weekly newsletter, Get Out of Your Own Way.
It’s where I share everything I can’t fit into a single post. {Link in comments}

Why ADHD Doesn’t Mean You’re “Bad at Focus”

The manager you work for has an outsized impact on how successful you can be.

When you have a manager that gives you the kind of support YOU need...

(which is totally different for each person!)

...you are naturally more successful.

Be REALLY selective when finding a new manager!

Here's what no one admits about pushing your comfort zone. 

I was just talking with a friend who recently created her own business after being in the corporate world for decades.

I was celebrating her, and she said something like, "I just hope I can build something great like what you've built."

It really made me reflect.

I told her, "The way things look on the outside is nothing like how they feel on the inside."

Whenever you're embarking on a big change like this, it feels horrible on the inside. 

There's so much imposter syndrome that comes up. So much self-doubt.

It's been fascinating to see how much that has continued even as I'm about to cross over eight years in business.

I feel confident and secure in my abilities and my skills, but I'm still pushing the edge of my comfort zone by learning new skills and evolving into new areas. 

So the imposter syndrome is always there.

I've been really buoyed up lately by hearing other entrepreneurs very candidly share their experiences. 

↳ Share that it's hard for them. 
↳ That they still question themselves. 
↳ That there are just as many challenges as there are successes.

So I want to echo that: having your own business is the most personal development I've ever done in my life. 

…and I am BIG into personal development.

It's so fun and so rewarding. 

And also, if you're embarking on a big challenge like this and feeling like you’re in way over your head, you are totally not alone.

I write about this kind of stuff regularly in my newsletter. Join me there if you want more honest conversations about the messy middle of growth.

If you’ve ever looked at the #1 rep and thought, “Must be nice… they probably don’t deal with this messy self-doubt thing”…

I need you to hear me: they do.

Nothing is wrong with you.
 You’re not “behind.” You’re just human.

Here’s the one mindset shift I see top performers use (and the one I coach into everyone):

Old Way vs New Way (when imposter syndrome hits)

Old Way:
You spiral inward.

↳ “Am I good enough?”
↳ “What if I blow this call?”
↳ “What if they can tell I’m winging it?”
↳ “I need this deal to close.”

New Way:
 You shift outward into service.

↳ “What is their real problem?”
↳ “What are they trying to protect right now?”
↳ “What would make this decision feel safe?”
↳ “How can I help them think clearly, whether they buy or not?”

Because insecurity is almost always a symptom of being stuck in your own head.

When you move into a consultative state (coach energy, not needy energy), a few things happen fast:

↳ You stop auditioning.
↳ You start leading.
↳ You sound calmer, clearer, more credible.
↳ And buyers feel it.

This is the same reason top reps can “detach from the outcome” and still close monster deals. They’re not robots. They’ve just trained themselves to redirect their attention.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
“I have a 100% track record of always figuring it out.” (Yes, steal that mantra.)
Plus, how the best sellers identify their weaknesses and build workarounds instead of trying to “fix” themselves.

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

When you’re feeling shaky on a deal, what do you usually do first: spiral inward… or shift into curiosity about the buyer?

I give up on being an entrepreneur.

Over and over again.

In fact, at least 1-2x per week, I’m ready to burn it all down.

I get convinced that it’s not working, and it’s never going to work.

…and then I just keep going.

And when the next day comes, things start working.

I start working.

Anything that’s worth pursuing will feel like crap 50% of the time.

And that’s normal.

Just keep going.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s probably not your workload.

It’s the lack of clarity.

When your brain’s trying to hold 100 priorities at once, you end up in reactive mode. Everything feels urgent. Nothing actually moves forward.

Here’s what works instead:

Plan your entire quarter in 12-week sprints.

That’s it. Here’s how I break it down:
↳ Choose 1-3 goals max
↳ Define what success looks like (lag vs. lead measures)
↳ Break goals into weekly tactics
↳ Assign tactics to specific weeks
↳Track them visually (I use color-coded sticker charts)

It gives your brain a break and your week a map.
No more waking up at 3 a.m., remembering that email you forgot to send.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
↳ How to use the 12-Week Year for quarterly planning
↳ The 2-minute rule that stops procrastination in its tracks
↳ The A/B/C + 1/2/3 prioritization method to calm chaos instantly 

Wait until you hear the simple tool that turns your chaotic to-do list into 5 crystal-clear priorities.

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to planning?

Stanford researchers discovered something surprising about starting a new habit. 

Have you ever heard of tiny habits?

It's the idea that BJ Fogg and the Stanford Behavioral Science Lab came up with. 

The idea is to habit stack your habits and start TINY. 

Anything you want to add to your routine, you find another habit you can stack it after.

Let's say you want to do more exercise. 

You might decide that every time you turn on your shower, as you're waiting for it to heat up, you do one tiny habit. 

Something like doing one pushup.

Or after you brush your teeth, and you want to floss more, you floss one tooth. (Sounds silly, I know, but go with me here)

The idea is to make it so tiny that your brain is like, "Oh, I can do that." And continue to do the tiny habits until you get really good at it.

I tried this with a client. 

She was having a hard time doing her physical therapy exercises. 

(I mean, who doesn't?) 

And not only that, she was a busy mom of (many) small children.

We found a moment in her day. 

Every day, she cooked oatmeal in the microwave for herself. 

So we found that if she did her 30 seconds of core exercises while her oatmeal cooked, she could reliably do it every single day.

Otherwise, she was never able to find time for it in her busy schedule as a mom.

Stacking her oatmeal habit alongside her PT cued her brain to remember, and she got all her exercises done!

Try out tiny habits and see if they work for you.

A lot of you are feeling defeated about not keeping your New Year's Resolutions, but try finding a space in your existing routine to stack them together. 

And make them TINY! Tiny beats out “perfect but never done” every day!

Follow along if you want more simple, science-backed ideas for getting more done with less friction.

New Year’s resolutions? Total garbage.
They work for about 2% of people, and I’m guessing you’re not one of them.

Here’s what actually works for enterprise sellers who are ambitious and overwhelmed:

Instead of forcing motivation in January, plan your year around your natural cycles of energy and clarity.

Here’s how to start:

↳ Notice when you actually feel renewed (hint: it might be spring or fall)
↳ Visualize your life one year from now vividly, with all five senses
↳ Write it down like it’s already happened
↳ Let that be the roadmap. Not a punishment list.

Old Way: Set a goal to “fix” yourself
New Way: Do favors for your future self

In this week’s episode, I break down:

↳ Why New Year’s might be the worst time to set big goals
↳ The “future self” mindset that actually sticks
↳ A simple planning structure that works with your energy

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

When do you feel your strongest planning energy, in January or another season?

Sometimes sucking at your job can be really useful data. 

For my entire career, my employers LOVED me. ...until...

Anytime I decided to leave a company, my employers always begged me to stay. One time, even offering to DOUBLE my salary if I would stay.

So I had a belief that I was a great employee and employers loved me.

Until this one point.

I had just returned from maternity leave, my team had restructured while I was gone, and the company was undergoing a MASSIVE overhaul.

Suddenly, I wasn't getting the projects I wanted.
I wasn't getting the promotions I wanted.
I was actually sucking at my job.

I started to question everything:

Was I actually a good employee? Maybe I wasn't that great. Maybe I was delusional before. Did employers actually like me?

It was a massively low point in my career. I started to wonder if I had any real worth in the workforce.

And add on top of all of that the pressure of trying to navigate working as a new mom.

Here's what I discovered.

I was in the wrong environment.

It wasn't that I was wrong, and it wasn't that my employer was wrong. It just wasn't a good fit for either of us.

I wasn't an unsuccessful person. I was just in a situation where I could never thrive, no matter how much effort I put into it.

I got myself out of there, and I started to thrive again.

If you're feeling frustrated and stuck, try taking a look at your environment.

Is it a place where your strengths are being optimized, or is it an environment where you need to improve your weaknesses (a losing battle, if you ask me)?

This isn't about blaming or accusing anyone. It's just an honest look at what reality is.

Nurture wins over nature in the workforce.

If you're stuck wondering whether it's you or your situation, I'd love to help you sort it out. Reach out if you want to talk about working together.

Nature vs Nurture

"Ain't bad, just is."

The first time I heard Chris Dorris say this, I cracked up. 

(Who says "ain't" these days?)

But the more I've used it, the more I realize how brilliant it is.

Saying "ain't" in my mind or even out loud is such a pattern interrupt that it really helps me see the reality of what's happening.

Here's the concept: 

So many things we experience, we instantly judge as bad. 

Then we get emotional, dysregulated, frustrated, and feel stuck.

Chris talked about changing that whole perspective. 

Instead, see the situation as neutral.

Everything that happens to us is neutral. We get to decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

Another thing he says: "Your problem is that you experience reality problematically."

What you're experiencing is reality. If you have a problem with it, that's because you're experiencing it problematically.

Using "ain't bad, just is" has been so helpful to neutralize how I'm feeling vs. what I normally would do: judge the situation, feel frustrated, then try to fix the situation and fix my feelings.

When you can just detour that whole drama and energy waste and instead decide "ain't bad, just is"... maybe there is something good about this situation.

I ask myself, "What if this is the best thing that could happen?"

Or tell myself, "Maybe in the future I'll see how this was exactly what needed to happen."

It's so much less energy draining when you get to decide how you want to feel about it.

If you want to learn more about this, you’ve GOT to check out Chris’ book, Mental Toughness Mantras. It has legitimately changed my life!

In January of 2025, I set a goal to build self-trust. It felt impossible. 

And now it's been a year, and I could never have guessed how it would pan out.

I've had low self-trust for a long time. I frequently say I'm going to do something and frequently don't do that thing.

How can I ever trust myself if I don't actually do what I say I'm going to do? 

In January, it became very obvious that self-trust was exactly what I needed and exactly what was holding me back.

So I made it my goal for 2025 to build self-trust.

I laughed at myself for this goal. It felt completely impossible and totally ridiculous.

It's not like I hadn't tried before.

I had tried many times to be consistent, to do what I said I would do, to be able to trust myself...

And again, I failed every single time.

I was pretty gung-ho about it early in the year, and then I felt like I wasn't making any progress, so I pretty much gave up on the goal.

And now it's been a year, and I just saw a reminder for myself that I created at the beginning of the year of self-trust. 

Seeing that, I just realized that I have made massive improvements in trusting myself this year, but it didn't come how I thought it would come.

I thought it would come through:  
↳ Pure grit
↳ Pure consistency
↳ Massive discipline
↳ Never letting myself down
 
 It turns out none of those things are true.

What actually created self-trust was: 
↳  Massive self-acceptance
↳  Massive self-compassion
↳  And meeting myself where I am vs. trying to make myself be something I'm not 

I learned to support myself and give myself what I need (a lot more rest, frankly).

When I did that, I assumed my productivity would plummet.

But actually, I have been more productive than ever before.

I've gotten really clear on what are actual priorities and what are distractions.

And when I sit down to work, I get work done faster with more clarity and more focus because I am ready to work instead of grinding away operating at a 2 out of 10.

So, wildly enough, now I trust myself to get done what I need to get done (because I'm getting done what I need to get done).

But it wasn't through hustle or grind or forcing myself. It was through caring for myself.

CRAZY!!

Have you had a massive transformation last year? I'd love to hear about it!

Self-Trust

For 20+ years, I set the same goal every January: Get in shape.

I tried training plans, spreadsheets, triathlons, cardio streaks… and every time, I fell off the wagon. I’d beat myself up, tell myself I was lazy, and believe something was wrong with me.

But last year, everything changed.
I didn’t find a better plan.
I found a better approach.

OLD WAY:
↳ Rely on fear, guilt, and shame to push through
↳ Chase consistency through rigidity
↳ Use deadlines to force motivation

NEW WAY:
↳ Start with self-acceptance
↳ Make decisions based on what actually works for me
↳ Treat future-me with generosity

And here’s the wildest part:
It worked. Better than anything else ever has.
I'm now the most consistent I've ever been with fitness, and the benefits have spilled into every area of my life.

In this week’s episode, I break down:

↠ The surprising strategy that finally made it stick
↠ Why motivating yourself with fear leads to burnout
↠ How kindness can be your most powerful performance tool

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. 

What’s one area where you’ve been pushing instead of partnering with yourself?

I’m passionate about empowering women and helping to close the gender gap in senior leadership. 

I spent 18 years in tech and biotech sales, holding positions as a VP and EVP, Sales. Along the way I introduced many brand new technologies to market, built a commercial organization from scratch, and scaled a hyper-growth team to achieve 9 digit revenue growth in 2 years.

Despite this success, I struggled for years with my transition from Manager to Director to VP, and even asked myself if I was cut out to be a senior executive.  

Finally, I ‘figured it out’ and had the confidence, knowledge and skills that I needed to be an impactful leader. 

My mission at Insights to Action is to help others get there by sharing what I’ve learned.

I want to use my passion to help more women transition to senior leadership and help leaders make that leap from unsure and unfocused to strategic, decisive and outcome driven - all without burning out. My goal is to help women thrive as executives, instead of merely surviving. 

I would love to work with you on your journey and look forward to connecting!

Read about what some of my clients are saying: https://www.insightstoactioncc.com/testimonials

Katy McFee

I help women become execs and thrive in leadership - Former Exec | Certified Coach | Forbes.com contributor

At Insights to Action I help female execs and aspiring female leaders become the leaders they want to be and thrive as executives all without burning out. 

I offer group coaching programs for women looking to break through to executive leadership and 1:1 immersive executive coaching for current execs who want to level up and show up as the amazing, effective leaders they know they can be, while still living a life they love.

My goals don’t include my kids,

I go on vacations without my kids,

I take girls trips that are just for me,

My partner and I have a date night every 2 weeks,

I prioritize my morning meditation and exercise daily,

And I’m still a great mom.

As women, we often feel this pull to be the perfect mom and dedicate every part of ourselves to our kiddos

And a pull in the opposite direction to be the best we can be at work and prove we're all in

It’s damn exhausting
It’s a losing game
And I quit

I adore my kids and love my family

But I am still my own person
I still need my own time
I need my own goals

And I don't apologize for it ✌️💜

PS. And to all the mommas out there, you’re doing great ❤️

Follow me Katy McFee for more posts on women in leadership

#1 in helping women become VPs and thrive in leadership | Former Exec | Certified Coach | Forbes.com contributor | Host of More Women Promoted Podcast

Friendly reminder that you don’t have to:
Go cold turkey on alcohol
Eat 400g of protein
Cold plunge daily
Wake up at 5am
Do ayahuasca
Quit your 9-5
Move to Bali

In fact...

You don't have to delay your morning caffeine 
You don't have to start every day with a savoury breakfast

The goal of life is not 100% optimization of everything!

It's also meant to be enjoyed...

And while social media will have you believing everyone on the planet is doing all of this
(And that drinking oat milk will kill you)

I promise you they aren't
(And it won't) 

Many successful people are doing none of these things

In fact, I became a successful VP and EVP
Without following any of this advice

Literally I did zero of these things.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge proponent of healthy living:

These days I rarely drink
(But I do occasionally when I'm celebrating) 

I try to get 8hr of sleep
(But I usually end up getting 7.5)

I exercise and meditate daily
(But I skip some days)

I think we can go TOO far trying to reach perfection

And we forget to occasionally sleep in, eat the croissant and just enjoy life

So in case you need it... here's your reminder:
You’re not failing if you live life like a regular person

And only you know what is right for you ✌️💜

♻️  Hit Repost if more people need to see this.

Follow me Katy McFee for more posts on women in leadership

Dating advice you can apply to your career:

For a little Friday fun - here's my top 4:

1. Early red flags rarely get better. They usually get worse.

Dating: Too many of us have dated somewhere where we saw the early signs, but ignored them. If there are early red flags, they're going to get a lot worse. 

Career: HR was dismissive in the interview and they took a week to get back with next steps...
Listen to your gut.  This may not be the dream job you were hoping for. 

2. Actions speak louder than words. 

Dating: He says he really likes you, but blows off plans and doesn't text you back...
He's just not that into you. 

Career: Your manager keeps telling you how much they value you, 
But you get passed over at every promotion cycle...

He's not going to promote you unless something changes. 

3. Just because they look great on paper, doesn't mean they're the one. 

Dating: We've all dated the guy who was SO perfect on paper!
Great job, nice to his mom, treats us well.  But you just don't feel it...

Career: This job is so perfect on paper!
Well-known company, great pay, lots of perks. But the culture sucks and people are toxic....

In both cases, move on.

4. Don't rely on someone else to make you happy. Work on yourself. 

Dating: You need to make yourself happy to be happy in a relationship. 
Do the work, the healthy relationship will follow.

Career: Don't rely on your boss to get you promoted. Work on yourself.
If your manager isn't helping to carve the path, take ownership and find mentorship outside of them. 

Do the work, and the promotion will follow. 

What did I miss? ✌️💜

6 more months, and things will slow down

I told my (now ex) husband that more times than I can count

And at the time, I really believed it!!

I just needed to lean in for 6 more months
And then we'd start to see the results we wanted...

And I could:
- Travel less
- Be more present
- Put my phone away
- Stop making work the priority

But you know what?
6 months never came,
And I missed a lot.

I remember leaving for a 10 day 'Euro-tour' 
To meet all of the KOLs in our space in Paris, London and Amsterdam

And truthfully, I was really excited about the opportunity

But leaving for the airport while my not-even-1-year-old was pulling himself up on the ottoman

Practically broke my heart

And I discovered the concept of everything being a trade-off 

This is your friendly reminder that when you put your real life on hold 
For 6 months,
Or a year
Or more

You miss out on real things

That doesn't mean you should work hard for what you want
But ask yourself what your non-negotiables are

And make those trade-offs with intention

Because - believe it or not - you can have both hustle and boundaries 
And save some regret along the way ✌️💜

I've met tons of bright, ambitious and hard-working women
Who are crushing it, in terms of talent

But using language and mannerisms that undermine their skills and abilities.

And I'll be blunt - this is preventing them from landing the roles they want.

Here are 5 examples that you should watch out for:

1. Constantly apologizing
Why: Over-apologizing undermines your authority

2. Raising your voice at the end of a sentence (ie. uptalk)
Why: Makes you seem unsure and unconfident

3. Twirling your hair in meetings 
Why: Can convey a lack of seriousness and distracts your listener

4. Sharing ideas as questions
Why: Makes you seem less confident and unsure about the idea.

5. Using filler phrases and qualifiers
Why: Your ideas will be taken less seriously

When it comes to language, here are 3 to avoid starting today (seriously):

"This may be a dumb idea but...."
"Does that make sense?"
"I'm not the expert but..."

Remember: it's not only the quality of your ideas that's important...

The WAY you share them is equally important
Maybe even more important!

As women, many of us have been conditioned to use these communication styles so we are seen as less dominant. 
We don't want to be 'bossy'.

But once you hit the workplace, holding on to these habits can mean:
- You're less likely to be seen as a leader
- Your ideas won't get the credit they deserve
- People won't take you as seriously

I consciously began using more empowering language (and body language) and saw a real difference.

You can too ✌️💜

Has anyone else caught themselves doing any of these things and decided to break the habit?

♻️  Repost to share these tips!

PS. Check out the comments for my free guide on simple language reframes you can use to start communicating like a confident and collaborative leader!

My job didn't suddenly become toxic - I'd ignored the red flags 

The first ones were there even in the interview process

- It had felt like the day from hell
- 2 senior interviewers were rude and aggressive to me
- I felt judged by many of the people I interacted with - even over lunch!

But I told myself that it wasn't a big deal...

- I wouldn't be reporting to the managers who were so rude
- I'm sure that 'vibe' I felt didn't mean anything
- This was such a great opportunity

In the end, I was gone within 2 years.

6 months after I was hired, I started reporting to one of those managers
And the other one was his boss!

The vibe I felt was very real, and trust on the team was low
Constant gossip and backstabbing

My dream job had become a nightmare

But it taught me a valuable lesson:

To treat the interview process as an opportunity to learn the people and culture
And see if it's actually somewhere you want to work

I was so dead-set on landing the role, 
I wasn't even asking myself if this was the right company for me

So, this is your friendly reminder:

The interview process goes both ways
They are evaluating you, 
And you should put your best foot forward,

But you are also evaluating them
And if you don't like what you see during the interview process
It's probably not going to get better once you start

Pay attention to the red flags friends
They rarely turn green ✌️💜

♻️ Repost if more people need to hear this

As women, we get some terrible career advice!
Here are my top 3 for worst advice we give women:

#3. "Just advocate for yourself"

Ummm... years of conditioning and workplace bias would argue it's more complicated than that.

Better advice: Implement a process to create visibility into your work and career goals, in a way that feels good. 

(This is possible - I teach women to do this all the time)

#2.  "Don't be too assertive" (you'll be seen as a b!*ch)

This advice keeps women small, and makes it impossible to confidently share your ideas and opinions. Frankly, women who aren't assertive are also not promoted. 

Better advice: Pair confident, assertive language with empathy and curiosity. Assertive does not have to mean aggressive. 

#3. "Find a mentor"

This seems like good advice, but women actually have more mentors than men do! People LOVE to tell us what to do. We don't really need more of it. 

Better advice: Find a sponsor, or develop a mentor into a sponsor. The difference is that a sponsor will champion you, open doors and advocate for you in the rooms you're not in.  

What's the worst career advice you've ever received??  

✌️💜

I became a successful executive (with ADHD)

And it came down to a single change I made:

I started playing to my strengths
And delegated, minimized or outsourced the rest

This is a really important concept 
That many of us overachievers don't seem to get

We think we need to do it all
And do it all perfectly

We often spend years trying to improve weaknesses
With minimal results

But once we get honest about where we are great and where we aren't

We can focus there and see a huge difference in our impact!

This was one of the pivotal changes I made that helped me go from struggling as a Director to a successful VP

Here's your Friday reminder: 

Whether it's ADHD, the way you grew up or any other thing that you think means you can't be an exec,

It's only true if you let it be

I'm living proof ✌️💜

♻️ Hit repost to spread the word!

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There will always be more "qualified" men for that VP or C-level role

It's true.

Because even when there are an equal number of men and women coming in at the entry-level:

- Men are promoted on potential, and women on experience
- Women lose opportunities when pregnant or just back from mat leave
- Men are more likely to have sponsors due to the affinity bias
- Men are encouraged to apply for positions even when they don't meet all of the criteria 

The 'promotion gap' starts at the very first promotion to manager, 
(This is referred to as the 'broken rung')

This means more men make it to mid-level manager positions, 
Which increases the pool of available men for senior-level positions

And so on...

And the gap is even larger for white men and women of colour
With 'white men' being the only group that is overrepresented in the C-suite

So here are some 'wild' ideas:

1. Stop relying on years of experience in a role as your hiring criteria!

Instead, focus on the skills and traits you need
Which are typically more effective for finding a great candidate

2. Focus on culture add vs. culture fit
Don't hire the same people over and over

3. Consider a first-time female VP 
Who may not have been in the position before but is crushing it as a director 

Guess what? She's probably ready to make that leap

4. Encourage the young women on your teams to apply for positions they want, even if they aren't 100% qualified

Until we get serious about making these changes, the gap will continue to exist...

And the gap will continue to widen as you go up in a company.

My goal is to help narrow this gap 
Even a little bit

Who's with me? ✌️💜

♻️ Hit repost to spread the word

There's a real cost to being the 'only'
 
The only woman on the leadership team
And the only exec (or leader) in your friend group
 
Not only is this lonely,
It also puts you at a huge disadvantage!
 
I remember feeling like I was on an island
 
Because I had no one in my life who really understood what I was going through
 
I was balancing being an exec and a single mom
While all of the men on the team had stay-at-home wives
 
My friends were teachers and stay-at-home moms
And they didn't really even understand my job!
 
I think this is a conversation that needs to be had
So in today's newsletter, I do a deep dive on the real cost of being the 'only'
And what you can do about it
 
Happy reading ✌️💜

The following is an excerpt from my FREE Weekly Insights Newsletter. Subscribe now, and you’ll immediately get the full article delivered to your inbo

Open article: The real cost of being the 'only' by Katy McFee • 3 min read

Women spend 200+ more hrs per year on non-promotable tasks, 

Compared to our male counterparts

These tasks include things like:

- Organizing the Christmas party
- Informally onboarding new hires
- Taking notes or ordering lunches
- Volunteering for extra committees
- Emotional support for colleagues and reports
- DEI or culture work WITHOUT authority or budget

Ladies, if this is you, 

And especially if you've been trying to land a Sr. Director or VP role

This is not serving you!
In fact, it's holding you back. 

Yes, everyone appreciates you
The team would fall apart without you

And you're also not getting tapped for that next role
Because this type of 'irreplaceable' is also unpromotable

This week's episode of More Women Promoted dives into this very topic
AND I give you some actionable and tactical next steps you can take today

Check it out anywhere you get your podcasts 
I'll link it in the comments

Time to go from helpful to promoted ladies! ✌️💜

It’s not your boss’ job to promote you
It’s your job to show them you’re ready

It’s not your partner’s job to make you happy
It’s your job to make yourself happy

It’s not your trainer’s job to get you in shape
It’s your job to do the work every day

Once you start to take real accountability for your life and career
The magic happens.

No one to blame. 
No excuses.

And no limit to what you can accomplish. ✌️💜

PS. If you're a woman looking to land a director or VP role and you're ready to do the work, join my free masterclass today (or tomorrow)

I'll help you figure out exactly what's blocking you today and how to get to that next level.

Sign up here: insightstoactioncc(dot)com/masterclass 

Follow me Katy McFee for daily posts for women in leadership

3 rules for an exec with ADHD

Because the truth is, conventional advice may not work for you!
(A lot of it didn't work for me...)

Before I knew I had ADHD, I beat myself up because I assumed that my lack of executive function made me a failure or a bad leader. 

But once I figured out how to harness the good and mitigate the rest, everything changed. 

These are what helped me go from struggling to crushing it:

1. Stop trying to strengthen your weak areas

Seriously. Instead, spend as much time as possible in your zone of genius.

We have a brain of interest, so spending time doing things we hate is a recipe for low productivity or a crappy work product.

One of the best things I ever did was get serious about outsourcing, automating and delegating the things I hate. 

My impact increased significantly once I did that. 

2. Rely on systems, not your brain

I could come up with a great strategic insight, but always forgot that appointment.
This drove me bonkers. 

Hard truth: Yes, you may lack in executive functioning, 
But that doesn't mean you get to drop the ball. 

It means you need to create systems to ensure things get done. 

Find what works for you: a Trello board, your calendar, a VA... and use it diligently. 

3. Don't eat the frog first!

We've all heard the leadership advice to 'eat the frog first,' which means to tackle that big task that you don't want to do before anything else. 

This does NOT work for people with ADHD! 

We already lack dopamine, so we often need a fix before we're ready to eat the frog...

Instead, pick a dopamine-producing task to do first, 
Then move on to the big daunting thing you'd rather not do. 

For me, this would involve checking my sales dashboards and metrics, 
Then tackling the task I didn't want to do. 

I learned that you CAN be a successful executive with ADHD
But sometimes that means throwing conventional wisdom out the window

If you're getting leadership advice that doesn't work for your brain, forget it

Lean into what makes you great,
And outsource, delegate or automate the rest

You've got this ✌️💜

Hanlie Bowman

Success might look like:
- making 6 figures
- starting a business
- getting a big promotion
- working at a cool tech company

But it can also look like:
- prioritizing self-care every day
- taking a vacation and fully unplugging
- taking a full lunch hour to go for a walk
- prioritizing your health and relationships

We tend to focus too much on the first list
And not nearly enough on the second

When the truth is: the way you spend each day
And who you spend it with
Is the recipe to a life you truly love

And guess what?
You don't have to pick one list or the other

You can have both
You just have to be intentional about it

This is your Sunday reminder:

Don't focus so much on career success that you forget the rest of your life

Take the time to focus on yourself, your health and relationships
For me, that's what it's all about✌️💜

Ever been told you need to be more 'strategic'? 
 
I have! 
 
I knew it was standing between me and a VP role, 
 
And the hardest part was that I had no idea what I needed to do to come across as more strategic. 
 
Every time I asked my manager (our CEO) 
I got some kind of vague answer, 

And because of this it took me years of trial and error
To finally learn what it took to become an exec
 
Years later I was thinking about this and it hit me, 
 
He didn't tell me what I needed to do, because HE didn't know either! 

He knew I wasn't quite there yet
But he didn't know how to coach and mentor me to get there
 
The truth is, sometimes you need help outside of your manager. 
 
That's where I come in. 

Join my free masterclass today where I help you pinpoint what's holding you back and what to do about it.

This is exactly the type of clarity I wish someone had given me!

Grab your spot here: insightstoactioncc(dot)com/masterclass

Hard truth: It may not be your fault you're struggling

But it IS your responsibility to fix it

And that sucks, but the sooner we learn it
The sooner we can take action to change things

No one teaches us how to navigate our careers
And no one teaches us how to become an executive

We're left to just figure it out on our own

So it's no wonder most people get stuck and aren't sure how to advance
They hit the dreaded career plateau and have no idea what to do

It hit one as a manager, and then again as a director

Here's what I see happen:
Early in your career, you work harder than everyone else
And you do the work you're assigned perfectly,
As a result, you get promoted

So you keep trying to outwork your colleagues,
Putting up your hand for extra projects
Executing on your goals flawlessly

But this time... nothing

You're waiting for that next promotion because you're doing ALL the things. 

You're working crazy hard. 
You're doing exactly what you've been told to do.

And the promotion isn't coming

Maybe your colleague gets promoted ahead of you, even though he started a year after
And works half as hard as you do

Or they decide to fill the role externally

The truth is, what got you here, won't get you there.

But here's another truth: 
YOU need to be the one to change

If what you've been doing isn't working
You're the one who needs to start doing things differently

The good news is: this is 100% learnable!

Find a mentor or sponsor who can give you some real guidance

And this is exactly what I do with the women I work with.

Curious to know more?
Send me a DM and let's chat. 

✌💜

Curious why wealth tends to be passed down through generations?
 
Yes, there are advantages, like going to a good school
But the biggest thing is the access
 
The people we spend time with and learn from have a huge impact on our success
 
The good news is, even if you didn't grow up with money
You can intentionally surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you
 
I credit so much of my success to the people I've met and learned from
 
And this is true in my business today
 
In today's newsletter, I talk about the power of finding your people
- I share the 3 types of people and groups who have impacted my success most
- And how you can start finding them
 
Happy reading ✌️💜

The following is an excerpt from my FREE Weekly Insights Newsletter. Subscribe now and you’ll immediately get the full article delivered to your inbox

Open article: The power of finding your 'people' by Katy McFee • 3 min read

My LinkedIn engagement is WAY down, and yet...

I've just had the highest revenue month in my business to date
And the month isn't even over yet

My business is growing super fast
And I'm seeing real-world impact for my clients
DMs about VP promotions every week!

But if I were just looking at the performance of my content
It would look like things are just so-so

Why am I telling you this?

Because - just like you - I can get distracted by metrics that don't really matter
Instead of focusing on what's really moving the needle

If you want to be a social media influencer
Then yes, focus on all of those metrics that we call 'vanity metrics' 
Because they matter for things like brand sponsorships 

But if you're trying to build a business
Or become a thought leader while working in corporate

These metrics probably aren't worth stressing over

Focus on helping just one person
And you'll resonate with the right people

I know many examples of people with highly successful businesses
Who aren't crushing it when it comes to LinkedIn content

And I know many people with high engagement and big followings
Who are struggling to grow their businesses

My 2 cents?
Decide what truly matters and focus on that ✌️💜 

PS. It is snowy and freezing where I am, but I'm posting a photo of where I wish I was right now!

I didn't stay in my director role out of loyalty!

The truth? It was out of fear. 
Fear that I just wasn't that good. 

I had stopped growing in my current role 
And I knew that I wanted to become a VP

But I didn't feel as though I had crushed it
Because we were consistently falling short of our goals

And I was continuously being told I wasn't ready for the next step

In my mind, if I couldn't get promoted at my current company
It meant that I was not VP material anywhere else either

This was just not true!

I discovered that the stage and culture of a company 
Have a huge impact on your success

This is exactly what happened with me
At company A I struggled to grow revenue to a few million ARR
At company B I grew the existing revenue by 8 figures! 

Some people crush it at early stage startups
Some shine at scaling stage companies (like me)
And some do best at large, multi-national companies

If you're feeling stuck where you are
Consider that it may not be a 'you' thing

You may just be in the wrong place

And as scary as it may feel
The best things you can do is to move on ✌️💜 

♻️ Give this a repost if more ppl need to hear it!

Too many 'nice' women are giving away their promotion
 
You're saying 'yes' to every little thing
You're doing it yourself because it's faster and you'll do a better job
You're making sure that you do your job 100% perfectly, to make your boss happy
 
And... when promotion time comes
You watch your colleague land the role that you know is right for you
 
In today's newsletter, I dive into 3 pitfalls -
Things that, as women, we do that we think are helping
But are actually hurting us and our promotability
 
Learn what they are,
Why they're hurting your career,
And what to do instead
 
Happy reading ✌️💜

Open article: The 3 pitfalls that keep talented women stuck by Katy McFee • 3 min read

The 3 pitfalls that keep talented women stuck

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