🦄 <- This you bro ??

.

I'm sorry to break it to you, but you probably suffer from Unicorn Dysmorphia.

Symptoms include:
→ An irrational belief that your startup is a "rOcKeTsHiP 2 da mOOOON 🚀"
→ Holding out for a mythical VC to swoop in and save you
→ Wondering why every other startup is successful and you're not

Let me liberate you with a fact: only 0.00006% of startups become unicorns.

You're playing a game where the odds are stacked against you.

But the good news is you don't have to play the game.

You can absolutely:
→ Run your startup without trying to always please others
→ Find investors who actually want to help you and don't just see you as a potential paycheck
→ Fulfill your mission and find success on your own terms


The Anti-VC can get you there.

I've helped 1000+ founders find the best path to capital that worked for them.

And I can do the same for you.


So if you're ready to drop (Uni/Corn) from your pronouns...

If you're ready to undo years of VC brainwashing...

If you're ready to capitalize your startup ridiculously fast... visit my Featured section 👇🏽

Saleem Ahmad 🤎

Neurello

I’m in the early experimental phases of developing a new parenting approach based on evolutionary psychology and anthropological art history. In the spirit of Darwin, I have observed my son's development meticulously since birth, and developed my findings into a hypothesis, pioneering a novel approach to neuroaesthetic visual stimulation for new parents to help them boost their baby's brains and build stronger bonds, helping future generations get the best head start they can.

If you’re expecting, please reach out! I’m happy to provide free apparel in exchange for feedback.

I'm actively searching for the right co-founder. As this is novel, preferably someone in academics studying this field, as I'm happy to collaborate on a PHD Dissertation or Master's Thesis with the right person.

Founder

New Wave Coolers

When I was a teen, the first business book I read explained capitalism as "If someone builds a pipe to deliver water to people who would otherwise labor with buckets to get that same water, those people will exchange a currency for the convenience."

So that's what I did.

I co-founded and built New Wave Coolers into a regional leader in water filtration, with a focus on jug-free water coolers hooked up to a filter unit - providing unlimited pure water on-demand at a fraction of the cost and 1000x the quality compared to water jugs. 

I closed every customer we have including Royal Bank, TD, Home Depot, Highland Valley Copper, BC Hydro, Tolko, city school districts, medical offices, law enforcement, churches, pet stores, hair salons, First Nations. You name it. 

We are the only entity that solved problems of systemic water discrimination for 35 First Nations in the interior of BC. Everyone else fails due to bureaucracy. I take this seriously, as we saw dozens of people die from water contamination on First Nations and can't imagine how many more would have died if we weren't there to help.

As Canada has some seriously regressive and non-enforceable water regulations, I saw myself as more of a rogue activist and educator than a salesman. 

People have a genuine interest in learning where most sales people don't take the time. 51% of anything in life is salesmanship, and my strong performance was largely due to being a people person, enjoying spending time with them, answering all their questions thoroughly, and always following through.

Our success was due to being many years ahead of trend changes when none of the suits & ties could see it, accurately anticipating consumer behavior and political issues which affect everyone's lives. 

We prevented millions of plastic jugs being used and discarded, and millions more small plastics from ending up in landfills. We prevented the tremendous gasoline pollution to deliver those jugs, and the water waste to clean them.

Co-Founder // Head of Sales

Cannayama

I invented, patented, funded, and oversaw development of a disruptive and highly coveted consumer tech and data product for the cannabis industry. This was the Keurig of Cannabis - “press a button, roll a joint" 
 that also tracked dynamic personalized endocannabinoid mapping to discover the right strains for individual user's biochemistry, and learning which strains to avoid due to negative reactions.

I discovered, attracted and negotiated with global leaders in a fiercely competitive environment, and secured exclusives with 100% of the key IP owners to make the project a success.  

I learned more in 5 years in the Wild West of legalization than I did in the 30 years prior! And it was an exciting time.

Unfortunately, key partners didn’t fulfill their contractual obligations, which compromised funding, so the project is current shelved. Though, I'm satisfied in hindsight that I did everything right, and the issues that caused failure were far out of my control.

If anyone out there wants to make the Keurig of Cannabis, we can still get it going with the RIGHT PEOPLE (which is what it’s really all about). This hero’s journey was one of the most validating experiences of my life that proved to myself I can do anything.

Founder // CEO

“No artist tolerates reality.” -Nietzsche 

taplio

The Battle

Saleem Ahmad 🤎

Brock Chaben

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