Anti-VC

I help underserved founders achieve success without needing permission from a VC.

Founding Partner

Zown (Techstars '19)

Secured $250K of non-dilutive funding to enable contactless pickups at restaurants during COVID

Founder & CEO

Jrop Canada

Bootstrapped to profitability the first ridehailing traffic optimization platform

Co-Founder & CEO

Tracxn

Launched US sales team, selling startup research services to snooty Silicon Valley VCs

Associate Sales Director, Americas

Multi-National Parts Supply Inc.

National Sales Director

Nestle Middle East

Strategic Buyer - Technical

🦄 <- This you bro ??

.

I'm sorry to break it to you, but you probably suffer from Unicorn Dysmorphia.

Symptoms include:
→ An irrational belief that your startup is a "rOcKeTsHiP 2 da mOOOON 🚀"
→ Holding out for a mythical VC to swoop in and save you
→ Wondering why every other startup is successful and you're not

Let me liberate you with a fact: only 0.00006% of startups become unicorns.

You're playing a game where the odds are stacked against you.

But the good news is you don't have to play the game.

You can absolutely:
→ Run your startup without trying to always please others
→ Find investors who actually want to help you and don't just see you as a potential paycheck
→ Fulfill your mission and find success on your own terms


The Anti-VC can get you there.

I've helped 1000+ founders find the best path to capital that worked for them.

And I can do the same for you.


So if you're ready to drop (Uni/Corn) from your pronouns...

If you're ready to undo years of VC brainwashing...

If you're ready to capitalize your startup ridiculously fast... visit my Featured section 👇🏽

Saleem Ahmad 🤎

BREAKING: LinkedIn just laid me off 🚨


From my unpaid job as a Top Voice.

My crime? “Infrequent contributions”
(according to Rajesh, the helpful LinkedIn customer service rep)

The reality: I was on my 40-day desert detox.

I wasn't at my post, providing the feed its daily slurry of 5 Secret Frameworks for Discovering Founder-Unicorn Fit.

And the algorithm, in its infinite benevolence, punished me.

But getting firing just exposed the truth:
↳ the LinkedIn Top Voice program is a two-tier apartheid system

- Tier 1 are the elites 👑
The tenured, status hires. Steven Bartlett, Harry Stebbings, Mark Cuban.
LinkedIn gifts them the blue badge as a permanent carrot for having a profile. A participation sticker for existing.

- Tier 2 are the proletariat 👨🏽‍🌾
The unpaid contractors. Jenny Stojkovic, Amy Miller, Greg Head. Me.
The blue-collar blue badges. The ones who have to punch the clock and offer real value to the platform to re-earn our sticker every month.

When Rajesh informed me of my non-compliance verdict, it clicked:

Being a Tier 2 Top Voice wasn’t an award ❌

It was my performance review. My Employee of the Month plaque for being one of the platform's most compliant cogs.

It was the gamification of my own intellectual death. My digital receipt for successfully lobotomizing my brain into the sum of 2 motivational quotes and 3 actionable insights.

It was my leash. My digital shock collar, remote clutched by the algorithm's cold, clammy hands. Waiting.

It was my visible leprosy. My tattoo signifying I was a made man in the LinkedIn mafia, just one infrequent contribution away from getting whacked.

Top Voice status is simply the ultimate humblebrag ✔️

Mine wasn't an achievement. It was a symptom. It was my ‘before’ photo. It was the reason I needed the detox.

Losing it wasn’t a punishment; it was an exorcism.

The badge is gone. The hair is back. I have zero regrets 💪🏽

--

Hi, I’m Saleem! 👋🏽
LinkedIn stripped me of my Top Voice badge due to “infrequent contributions" ⛔
So I’ll be posting every day until the algorithm recognizes my compliance and re-issues my sticker 🏅
This is Day 1️ of clocking back in as an at-will content creator
Please direct all complaints about the slurry to Rajesh 👳🏾‍♂️

The Anti-VC | Fundraise without selling your soul to VC | Over 1000+ founders served 💰

I went from male pattern baldness to luscious locks in 40 days 👌🏽


The man on the left was a good man. I took that selfie on a Tuesday.

But the next morning I woke up and realized I looked like someone who had just read 5 Secret Frameworks for Discovering Founder-Unicorn Fit.

Like I just used the word synergy in an email. Unironically.

Like I had peaked the day I scanned my first QR code at a networking event.

My body, in an act of profound self-loathing, was siphoning nutrients off from my brain as a last ditch defense mechanism.

And my hair was dying of secondhand embarrassment.

I had become the very thing I swore to destroy: an aspiring LinkedIn professional.

So I had to take drastic steps:

It wasn’t argan oil ❌
It wasn’t red laser therapy ❌
It wasn’t a round trip to Turkey ❌

I deleted LinkedIn and moved to the desert ✔️

For 40 days and 40 nights, I did not build in public. I did not hop on a quick call. I did not share my learnings.

I un-optimized. I de-synergized. I re-circled back until I had completed a full 0 degrees.

And I emerged a new man.

All the hair returned. My body, no longer under siege from my own thought leadership, finally called off the attack.

You're not balding; your LinkedIn feed is just poisoning you.

Move to the desert without internet or AC.

This is not medical advice.

I've never assaulted a woman before ❌


I’ve never publically endorsed a genocíde ❌

I’ve never run an accelerator as a massive scam ❌

I've never had a midlife crisis and abandoned my portfolio ❌

Turns out, this puts me in the top 1% of Austin community builders.

Not because I'm particularly great at community building
↳ but because apparently the bar in Austin is so low

It’s incredible what you can achieve when you have basic morals ✔️

Connect with me if you're a founder with basic morals too.

--
- Hi I’m Saleem! 👋🏽
- I host startup events in Austin
- LinkedIn removed my Top Voice badge due to ‘infrequent contributions’
- This is Day 4️⃣ of ‘contributing frequently’ until they re-issue my sticker
- Sign up to attend our events this week: https://luma.com/antivc

My favorite kind of hostage is the non-technical female founder.

Docile, submissive, helpless 🤷🏼‍♀️

Clara called me in a panic. A critical integration failed. Her app was crashing.

Her engineering FRIEND had to jump in and spend 5 hours fixing the mess.

And her CTO? With a vested equity schedule? He submitted a ticket 🙄

She was appalled but terrified to take action.

"He's the only one who knows the codebase and he's been with me from the beginning!"

I hate to break it to you, but bro is not a CTO.

Bro is just cosplaying as a technical cofounder while collecting your equity.

He's not helping build your company. He’s throttling his output until he’s on a comfy big tech salary so he can feel important enough to take his job seriously.

He's not an asset. He's a bottleneck. You are not his manager. You are his hostage.

I advised her to fire him immediately. It's not a ‘hard conversation’. It's an emancipation.

Your first key hires are not team members. They are not family. They are either rolling up their sleeves to fix critical issues or they are unemployed. There is no in-between.

Having a Bro on the team slide is great for optics
↳ but optics don't pay the bills
Find a dev with less pedigree and more hustle 💪🏽

Are you being held hostage by an underperforming CTO?
Book a time to chat through a solution here: https://lnkd.in/g9utytUX

--
- Hi, I’m Saleem! 👋🏽
- LinkedIn removed my Top Voice badge due to ‘infrequent contributions’
- So I’ll be ‘contributing frequently’ until the algorithm re-issues my sticker
- This is Day 2️⃣ of consecutively posting as my authentic self
- Follow me for more real startup stories reinforcing gender stereotypes

Open article: hubble | Schedule with Saleem Ahmad by hubble.social

I refuse to take calls with Aussies.

Or the Japs.

Not because of their accents (although, valid)

But because their 2 PM is my 3 AM.

My hustle does not grind in the middle of the night. I am not crushing it. I am unconscious; I am sleeping.

You think I should destroy my circadian rhythm to talk to a founder who wants to 'pick my brain’ about his kangaroo walking app just because he decided to wake up on the wrong side of the Pacific?

Senpai, please.

My sleep is precious. And contributes more to GDP than you'll ever hit in ARR.

I protect my time.

If you’re not putting up boundaries with your work hours, you're not a 'global exec’. You're just bad at scheduling.

Far East founders: Fix your calendly. Or move.

Agree?

--
- Hi, I’m Saleem! 👋🏽
- I write about productivity and other tips for founders
- LinkedIn removed my Top Voice badge due to ‘infrequent contributions’
- This is Day 3️⃣ of ‘contributing frequently’ until the algorithm re-issues my sticker
- Follow me for more of whatever this is

taplio