Codie A. Sanchez

Investing millions in Main St businesses & teaching you how to own the rest | HoldCo, VC fund, Founder

On a mission to create financially free and free-thinking humans.I founded a advisory and investment company called Contrarian Thinking that helps owners buy and scale businesses.Our newsletter has over 1M+ weekly readers, here → contrarianthinking.biz/liOur community has taught 9,000+ members biz buying, biz growing, and doing deals. We value experience over degrees.Betting on yourself over building someone else's dream.Main Street over Wall Street.My mission is less suits, more boots. Meaning: we the people holding the power… and the purse strings.🔗Join 1M+ others who get our free newsletter: contrarianthinking.biz/li🔗YouTube: @CodieSanchezCT🔗Instagram: @codiesanchez🔗Twitter: @Codie_Sanchez🔗Weekly business-buying newsletter Main Street Minute: contrarianthinking.biz/minute-li

Founder

We help free minds and build bank accounts.

Investing millions in Main St businesses & teaching you how to own the rest | HoldCo, VC, Founder | NYT best-selling author

My husband said five words to me that made my worldview flip on never missing a chance to see a loved one: “Measure in times, not years.”

We were debating whether to go home and see our family for Thanksgiving and my husband said...

If your parents are 65, it’s not 20 or 30 years you might have with them, it’s maybe 20 or 30 visits you get with them.

One in four Americans don’t live in the same hometown as their family. How would you change your decisions if you’d only get to see your loved ones for 20 or 30 more days?

You’d change everything to be with them, wouldn’t you? Same if it was six months. And yet when those days are separated by years we let them slide through our fingers.

Next time don’t count the years, remember the days… and treasure them.

3 harsh truths I've been thinking about a lot lately...

1. Most successful people I've met aren't that smart. They move fast, they take risk, they work a lot. That's it.

2. The world is run by C students & failed employees. You can't underestimate yourself.

3. Managing what you choose to sell, do and focus on is more important than how hard you work or how smart you are.

Example:

You can, for the next 40 years:

- Climb up the corporate ladder
- Grind for a mission you don't believe in
- Spend 50hrs/wk+ away from your family

All for a 401k and a white picket fence at the end to show for it.

OR

You can learn how to buy a business and:

- Own a cashflowing biz in your community
- Touch your work with your own two hands
- Disconnect your money from your time
- Spend more time on the things that matter
- Become one of the few... an Owner.

Ownership is not for everyone.

But it could be for you.

I don’t blame you if you're nervous to take the first step on your own.

If that’s you, I’m hosting an event that's just what you need to start acting on business-buying…

Get details & sign-up here → https://lnkd.in/g3V6NrTZ

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Arfan Iftikhar

A hard truth I've learned in business.

It's always who not how.

1. There's only so much time in the day.
2. There's always going to be someone smarter and better than you.

These aren't problems. They're levers.

Every time you struggle with an issue, don't try to figure out how to solve it. Instead, ask yourself what type of person could solve it for you.

You don’t have a HOW problem, you have a WHO problem.

Solve that and you solve everything.

↓ ↓ ↓

This is a strategy I think of as “stealing someone’s 10,000 hours.”

And I’m letting you take my 10,000 hours for free at my Main Street Millionaire Live Event…

I’ve bought & sold 20+ small businesses. I’ve failed a couple, scaled several, and I’m sharing a condensed version of how to buy a biz over 3 days. 

It’ll be beginner-friendly and perfect if you're still in your 9-5.

Save your spot here today → https://lnkd.in/g7mjjqYQ

My coworker got the promotion over me.

Numerically worse at the work. Great at politics.

I brought in deals. Fixed messes. Hit all goals

He was 10x better than me at managing up.

He got the title. I got “keep doing what you’re doing.”

It took 10+ years for me to click that most companies reward politics, not performance.

So I left. Started buying boring businesses and building my own thing.

Now I make many times what my old bosses did. No corporate games.

The best operators don’t usually climb the ladder. They are the ladder everyone else climbs.

Corporate optimizes for compliance. Owners optimize for competence.

If you’re elite at the work but trash at politics, don't give up, I was just like you.

Take the risk in 2026.

↓↓↓

If you want to learn how to buy a business in 2026 and become an owner, I’m doing this 3-day virtual workshop for you: https://lnkd.in/dYP5dr-T

21 tips to be the first gen wealth builder in your family:

1. The Law of Two Hours: 2 hours of dedicated work is worth more than most people’s 8 hours.

2. How to never fail with a business: Start as a side project. Keep your job. Use your salary to fund. Quit when you have enough cashflow.

3. It's not about time. It's about the F word. Focus. You don’t need 24 hours a day to build a business.

4. Think about your salary like a Silicon Valley investor. Treat every single dollar you give to your side business like an investor would.

5. Hope is not a strategy. “Pray like it’s up to God, but work like it’s up to me.”

6. You don't need more time, you need a deadline.

7. Decrease the time between having an idea and getting it done. Money loves speed. Poverty loves waiting.

8. Small & consistent beats big & sporadic. Long hours at a desk is counterproductive.

9. If you want to make more money, be more useful to people who have more money.

10. It is very hard to change the world when you are broke. So don't apologize for chasing money.

11. Nobody cares about your life...They think about you for one second and then think about themselves again. So you might as well do what you want.

12. You must be just dumb enough to believe in yourself, just smart enough to execute.

13. If you say you will do a thing, then actually do the thing. 90% do not do this.

14. No one is coming to save you. You want a better life, go build it.

15. You must learn to be disliked or you’ll find yourself stuck in a prison of other people's desires.

16. Tasting freedom can make you unemployable. Get that initial momentum, and watch your life start to change.

17. You are paid exactly as much as the problems you solve are worth. Bigger problems = bigger $$$

18. Parkinson’s Law: Work expands to fill the available time. Just because you quit your job doesn't mean you'll magically have all of these hours.

19. If you're not currently doing whatever that thing is inside of you, you're not going to do it after you quit your job.

20. Startups are for masochists. If you want that life, I commend you. If you want a slightly less rocky path to ownership, buy a business instead of starting one.

And lastly, there are 2 types of people:

Those who build wealth through ownership. and those who work to make others wealthy.

The dividing line isn’t talent or luck. It’s action.

↓↓↓↓

P.S. If you have yet to take action in 2026 but are interested in becoming an owner...

Come to my business buying masterclass tomorrow. 

It's free. 90 minutes long. And walks you through how to find the right business for you.

Find all the details here: https://lnkd.in/g3V6NrTZ

I sometimes pinch myself. I don't deserve this life.

Knew nothing about finance.
Public schools.
Parents who worked nonstop.
Party school for undergrad.

But my family taught me about hard work, God, responsibility, and never quitting.

It makes no sense, except for the grace of God. Grateful.

I’m 39.

27 lessons I wish I learned in my 20s: 

1. As soon as you hit your 30s, you’ll understand... Your 20s actually suck. If you feel like it sucks right now, guess what? It’s supposed to. It gets better.

2. Your first job is like the DMV. Awful. Everyone’s mad. Nothing works. But the key is.. You are not supposed to stay there.

3. It is very hard to change the world when you are broke. So don't apologize for chasing money.

4. Meet everyone. Say yes to everything. You narrow the field later.

5. Do it all. Because you’ll die eventually and life will make you slow down. But up until then, eat the world.

6. You are not everyone’s cup of tea, that’s a good thing.

7. The most lucrative things you can do in your 20s: 1) learn how to invest, 2) apprentice in PE, real estate, or venture.

8. If they’re not interesting when you’re sober, don’t drink until they become it.

9. Never buy to impress. Being wealthy > looking wealthy… even when that first big-kid check hits your bank account.

10. The most important question you can ask yourself often: Does this bring joy?

11. Do favors, don’t take them. There’s often a hidden price.

12. If I was in my 20s, I’d try to work for one type of company… One where they reward outcomes not hours. Winning > running really hard for a really long time.

13. Seed is only as good as its soil. Where you live during your 20s matters. Take some time away from your hometown.

14. If you feel cynical about the world… I don’t blame you. But always remember the number one superpower for your generation is HOPE.

15. If you’re prone to loneliness and isolation.. do NOT work a remote job. A small team with sleepless nights and shared goals is a powerful thing.

16. Touch grass. A walk outside will be better for your brain than anything you find on your phone.

17. Burnout doesn’t come from working too hard. Burnout comes from working too hard, on things that don’t light you up.

18. Learn how to save now, but understand that saving isn’t what makes you rich.

19. If you want to make more money, be more useful to people who have more money.

20. You must learn to be disliked or you will find yourself stuck in a prison of other people's beliefs.

21. Most successful people I've met aren't that smart. They move fast, they take risk, they work a lot. That's it.

22. If old you doesn’t make you cringe, you haven’t grown enough.

23. Do something hard every day. Then watch that “something” evolve as you become stronger and stronger.

24. If you haven’t done it, you just have an opinion.

25. Marrying well is the biggest life hack of all. Marrying poorly is a costly path to misery. Choose wisely.

26. Working smarter not harder is a beautiful lie. You will not know how to work smart until you've worked very hard for an irrationally long time.

27. Take notes from old people… Waking up early, being married, reading books, going to bed at 10pm, and drinking less is actually amazing.

Ramota Oladejo

There’s no such thing as the right or wrong business.

There’s only the business that’s right or wrong for you.

One of the most common DMs I get is:

"Should I buy a laundromat, car wash, or storage units?"

But that's totally the wrong question to begin with...because everyone has different goals.

That’s why I created the Contrarian Deal Clarity Framework to help first time owners buy a biz.

You need to define 5 components:

1. Your Ideal Owner Experience

Saying “I want to leave my 9-5” is too wishy-washy.

To trade in your W2 form, your vision board needs to be specific on three things:

- Personal goals (do you want more family time or grind for yourself)
- Income goals (replace your $75k salary or build an empire)
- Business goals (be a hands-on operator or absentee owner)

2. Your Zone of Genius

Think of this as the intersection between:

- Passion (what you love)
- Skills & Experience (what you’re good at)
- Network (who you know)

Most people ignore this and buy businesses they eventually hate running.

Don’t be most people.

3. Business Size

It’s easy to fantasize about buying a Fortune 500 company.

But we’re not playing the billionaire game here.

As a first-time time buyer, look for micro acquisitions:

- <$1M cost
- $50K-$200K profits
- 1-3X multiples

Less competition, more opportunity, fewer headaches.

4. Profit

Remember...you’re not just buying a business for the sake of it.

Your acquisition MUST be an income stream that can cover:

1. Debt service
2. Operator salary (if relevant)
3. Growth/working capital
4. Your earnings

Use these two tests to evaluate if a deal is worth looking at:

The SOWS Test

Before I buy anything, I ask if the business is:

- Stale - Does the owner still use fax machines
- Old - Is it 5+ years old with repeat customers
- Weak - Does competition suck at marketing
- Simple - Can an 8-year-old could understand it

The more boxes it checks, the better.

The BRIT Test

Then I check to see if it’s BRIT:

- Buy - Must be a cashflow, not cash-suck businesses
- Resist - Recession-proof
- Increase - Can I raise prices (most owners undercharge by 30%)
- Tech - Can I add simple technology to improve it?

5. Industry

There are certain industries you should avoid for your first biz.

Think restaurants or hotels...

On the flip side, these are my favorite businesses for first-time buyers:

- Digital Businesses (build once, sell forever)
- Home Services (roof repair / lawn care)
- Professional Services (e.g CPAs)
- Real Estate Enhanced (laundromats/car washes)

Once you get clear on your Deal Box, you stop wasting time on deals that don’t fit your criteria and get closer to buying the biz that FEELs right.

↓↓↓

Want to go even deeper than this post did?...

Next week, I'm running a Masterclass breaking down exactly how to buy the perfect business for YOU. 

Check it out: https://lnkd.in/g3V6NrTZ

6 other traits of rich people no one tells you:

1. Rich people want you to sell them something.

2. Something 99% of rich people have in common: they own. Most often, they own businesses & real estate.

3. Most people complain about taxes, then pay them. Rich people study taxes then outsmart them.

4. In my experience, almost all successful people are competitive. More competitive you are, more likely you are to succeed.

5. Most rich people I know don't care about their title at all. Business owner > visionary, industry disrupter, startup CEO

6. You'll learn the most from asking rich people this question: "When did you almost lose it all? What did you learn?"

💥 For more like this, feel free to follow me → Codie A. Sanchez

Story from my dad today.

If you’re a business owner, it may hit you as deeply as it hit me...

He said, you know you’ve met another builder or doer when they’ve felt that flinch at the second Friday of the month.

My father has never bounced a check.

But he remembers this…

It was payday, his business was owed money, and they couldn’t bridge the gap between the two in time.

He could just picture the guys’ faces.

Those last two workers, who had done more than anyone else, stayed later than anyone else…

And they were about to be punished for that by not getting paid.

So he called up his banker, told him he needed a line of credit, and pulled out $100,000 give or take to make sure that every single one of their checks cleared.

At the time, my dad had a business partner who was a different type of guy.

He was the sort to make excuses, pay himself first, and not particularly care if everyone else’s checks cleared as long as he got his.

That partner has since had many businesses fail - and many more employees go without a paycheck.

And my dad has never in all these years had a business fail, or lost anyone a dime.

He often attributes his business success to the fact that he would never let his hardest working guys go hungry...

People will always be your biggest struggle and your greatest gift in business. Treat ‘em right.

↓↓↓↓

P.S. I’m hosting a free masterclass next week covering 4 practical growth levers that help maintain healthy cash flow and predictable payroll.

Sign up here (for free): https://lnkd.in/gSfvX_AF

Nish Thakker

If you have had:

• a terrible boss
• workplace ptsd
• a bankruptcy
• a huge failure

GOOD.

Chips on shoulders > easy roads.

The more you do hard things, the more you'll get what you want.

Because doing hard things, makes hard things easier.

If you're doing it right, the failure that leveled you last year, won't even register this year.

↓ ↓ ↓

If you're ready to seek out your next hard thing, let's buy a business this year ;)

Here's a list of 130 boring biz's I'd start with → https://lnkd.in/eGpHZtx3

You aren’t here to be liked.

You’re here to be respected.

Don’t be easy. Be hard.

Be righteous in what you do and believe.

Don’t be less for other people.
Don’t let them bend you or break you.
Don’t be a doormat walked upon.

Be a f*cking pointed nail… they’ll remember you.

If you’re bringing this energy into 2026, feel free to repost this.

And if the way you want to do it is by trading in your 9-5 for financial freedom without starting from scratch? Come to my Main Street Millionaire Live next month. 

All you need is determination & desire…. and 72 hours of your time.

You’re invited, just reserve your spot here → https://lnkd.in/gf6hPHdF

This is the hiring framework most small business owners never figure out:

Unicorns vs Donkeys

Unicorns = A players, high performers, self starters... aka, the person you WANT to hire for every role at your company.

Donkeys = B and C players, lacking initiative, unmotivated, task-oriented.

The truth every business owner knows but hates to face:

Donkeys are common.

Unicorns are rare.

Unfortunately, MOST people are donkeys. And as a smaller-level business, it's very hard to build the profit needed to attract unicorns.

So you're left with 2 options. You can either:

1. Build a business that can actively search for unicorns.

2. Build processes so good that donkeys can win the race.

Many problems in your business are a WHO problem. But you'd be surprised that solving the HOW often enables the people you have now to succeed.

Processes are your secret weapon.

Decrease the time between having an idea and getting it done.

Money loves speed. Poverty loves waiting.

How I like to start my week.

The 1 in 60 Rule:

↓ ↓ ↓

Feel free to follow me Codie A. Sanchez if you found this useful.

This Routine Will Change Your Life

How to never fail with a business:

- Start as a side project
- Keep your job
- Use your salary to fund
- Don't use debt
- Quit & go all in ONLY when enough cashflow

15 years of biz & life lessons in <500 words:

↓ ↓ ↓

1. Marrying well is the biggest life hack of all.

2. Be the type of person who reaches out to others... when you don't need something.

3. The greatest muscle you can build is urgency.

4. Most successful people move with this mindset: Entitled to nothing, willing to earn everything.

5. Pray like it's up to God. Work like it's up to you.

6. You don't need more time, you need a deadline.

7. The success you are looking for is waiting for you in the work you are currently avoiding.

8. Biographies of billionaires teach you more than self-help books.

9. Your lack of focus will kill you before your competitors ever get a chance.

10. Winning isn't an accident, it's earned.

11. Underrated superpower: Just dumb enough to believe in yourself, just smart enough to execute.

12. Complexity makes you seem smart. Simplicity makes you money.

13. Surround yourself with owners, the conversation is just different.

14. The more you learn about money, the more you realize most of us play with Legos while the really rich play chess.

15. Beginners do too much. Pros do only what's needed.

16. Underperformers want ease. Midperformers want credit. Winners want pressure.

17. Your most expensive mistake will be a "who," not a "what."

18. If you've survived this far, the odds are actually are in your favor.

19. The formula is: keep going after it gets hard.

If you liked this post and you're NOT signed up for my newsletter... you're seriously missing out. Get it here → https://lnkd.in/ggN9g-BX

The greatest muscle you can build is urgency.

Shrink your timelines...

When you say next quarter, push for next 60 days.

When you say next month, push for 2 weeks.

When you say next week, push for 24 hours.

Not everything will get done on the new timeline, but you'll build a habit that will make you more successful than other people.

Decrease the time between having an idea and getting it done. Everything changes.

↓ ↓ ↓

If you want to push forward serious financial goals in 2026, you should look into this…

It’s live event on what I think is the single greatest skill you could learn this year to change your financial future forever.

It’s called a 3 day live event called Main Street Millionaire where we’re going deep on exactly how to find, buy, run, and scale a profitable small business.

If this sounds remotely interesting, save your spot here → https://lnkd.in/gf6hPHdF

The #1 killer of businesses is bad cashflow.

15 other harsh business truths for you:

1. The greatest muscle you can build is urgency. Bureaucracy is business poison.

2. Decrease the time between having an idea and getting it done. Everything changes.

3. Never sacrifice reputation in the name of business. You can always start another company. You can never create a new reputation.

4. Long-term games and long-term people compound. Resist shiny objects.

5. Hire smart people, pay them well, set them up for success... Then leave them the hell alone.

6. “There’s nothing worse than being sick, fat, tired and trying to run your business.” - Dana White

7. The highest ROI investment founders & owners can make is in themselves. Health shapes mindset. Mindset shapes action.

8. You're better off learning negotiation than financial modeling. Business is less spreadsheets than words.

9. The best business of all time has only you, a computer, and the send button.

10. Every additional employee increases complexity. Hiring is a last resort.

11. The best advice comes from those just a couple steps ahead of you. These people still vividly remember the problems you're facing today.

12. Sell painkillers, not vitamins. There's more money in needs than wants.

13. No discounts. Compete on value, not price. Any biz with $$$ can enter your market and bleed you out. Differentiate beyond commodity.

14. A happy customer is the most powerful marketing. Prioritize reviews. Humans are social animals.

15. If no one thinks you’re crazy, you’re too late. If everyone thinks your idea is good? Even worse. Outsized returns lie in non-conformism.

↓↓↓↓

P.S. I'm running a free masterclass for business owners (next week).

What we'll cover? 4 growth levers to increase cash flow in your biz. 

Grab your spot here (for free): https://lnkd.in/gSfvX_AF

Steven Yeh, EIT

3x Founder - Helping Entrepreneurs Master Self-Awareness, Boundaries & Compassion - Amazon Scaling Expert - Sharing Marketing, Mindset & Spiritual Insights - 1x Exit • CEO • 3x Parent

I help overwhelmed CEOs and entrepreneurs find clarity in their business growth, marketing, and team dynamics—because I've been there, too.

At 17, I jumped into managing the online side of a $50,000-a-month business without any experience. I learned everything step-by-step—bookkeeping, marketing, you name it.

I've also walked away from a toxic workplace because my mental health mattered way more than the job.

Taking what I learned, I built and scaled e-commerce brands to over $30 million a year on Amazon. Along the way, I've faced big challenges, including federal lawsuits, that taught me how important it is to set boundaries, trust yourself, and communicate openly.

With 15+ years in e-commerce and digital marketing, I specialize in creating long-term strategies, understanding people, and using AI to grow brands.

My passion? 

Helping entrepreneurs like you become more self-aware, improve your mental health through improving boundaries and compassion, and build strong, healthy teams.

Ready to take your business to the next level without burning out or losing yourself?

Let's talk about marketing, mindset, and how to scale your business while staying true to who you are.

Follow, connect, or message me if you'd like to:

Grow your brand on Amazon or other e-commerce sites

Chat about real-life business strategies, mental health tips, leadership lessons, and parenting insights :)

Learn how AI can make your marketing and operations easier

I've walked in your shoes—let's take the next step together.

Binyamin Rutstein

Why is connecting with G-d so complicated?

Many people feel overwhelmed by spirituality.

 They believe, but still feel distant.

This confusion isn’t failure.

 It’s part of how connection works.

At the start of creation, G-d’s presence filled everything.

 There was no separation at all.

But real relationship needs space.

So G-d chose to step back—not to leave,
 but to make room for human choice.

This idea is called Tzimtzum.

 In simple terms, it means:

Space was created so people could exist, choose, and connect freely.

That space allows love.

 But it can also feel like loneliness.

Ego grows there.

 So does the feeling of being alone.

That feeling isn’t a flaw in the system.

 It’s part of the design.

Loneliness is a signal.

 An invitation to reconnect—

by choice, not force.

Practically, this means:

• Notice disconnection instead of judging it

 • Take one small step toward care or honesty

 • Rebuild connection through compassion and clear boundaries

When connection is chosen freely, it becomes real.

Loneliness isn’t rejection.

 It’s space waiting to be filled with love.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Near and Far

Many people carry a quiet belief:

 “I’m doing this alone.”

But that belief often isn’t accurate —

it’s perceptual.

In physics, scientists describe dark matter as something that makes up most of the universe.

 It can’t be seen directly, yet its effects are undeniable.

Human experience often works the same way.

Support, care, and kindness frequently exist beneath awareness —

especially during stress.

 When nervous systems are overwhelmed, what’s unseen feels absent.

In spiritual language, G-d creates from nothing and conceals His presence so fully that reality appears independent —

even while being continuously sustained.

Two practices help reveal what’s hidden:

Pause during stress.

 Slow breathing signals safety and allows awareness to widen.

Set clear boundaries.

 Boundaries don’t reduce connection —

they regulate it.

Clear boundaries reveal hidden support by allowing connection to flow without overwhelm.

You don’t need constant reassurance to be supported.

 You need clarity.

Connection is already there.

 Boundaries help you feel it.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Never Alone

Strong, uncontrollable events often trigger fear.

That reaction is natural —

especially during something as destabilizing as an earthquake.

Jewish wisdom reframes this response in a powerful way.

Earthquakes are described as moments meant to awaken awe —

 an emotional state that combines fear with meaning and reverence.

That’s why a blessing is said when they occur:

“Blessed are You, G-d, whose strength fills the world.”

This isn’t denial or distraction.

It’s emotional regulation through meaning.

Fear on its own overwhelms.

Fear paired with perspective becomes awe.

Awe stabilizes the nervous system by:

* placing the self inside a larger context
* reducing helplessness
* restoring connection

A simple practice during moments of fear:

👆 Pause.

✌️ Slow the breath.

👌 Name the blessing.

Fear isn’t the opposite of calm.

It’s often the doorway to it —

when guided correctly.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Fear, Awe, Serenity

Why does connection feel so hard
 even when people are around?

Loneliness is often misunderstood as isolation.

In reality, it’s usually about inner confusion, not outer absence.

When stress hits, many people react in familiar ways:

defensiveness

shutdown

avoidance

people-pleasing

These aren’t personality flaws.

They’re protection.

What we often call “ego” isn’t arrogance.

It’s fear.

Fear of not being enough.

Fear of losing worth.

Fear of rejection.

The story of Cain shows this clearly.

He offered something and expected approval.

But his fear kept him from seeing that everything he had was already a gift.

The same thing happens when fear drives our reactions today.

We forget our value.

Connection begins to return when awareness replaces fear.

Two simple steps help:

Pause and ask, “Do I feel unsafe or unworthy right now?”

Remind yourself, “I already have enough. I already am enough.”

Healing starts with kind awareness.

And when that happens, connection stops feeling forced
and starts feeling real again.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Loneliness and Awareness

Many people pray —

 but feel more drawn to comfort, entertainment, or distraction than to G-d.

This isn’t a belief problem.

 It’s an attachment problem.

I know this personally.

I believed.

 I cared.

 I felt gratitude.

But I was more attached to the experience of pleasure
than to its Source.

I was chasing temporary joy
 and overlooking where it came from.

The shift didn’t come from outside.

 No advice, miracle, or influence could do it for me.

It had to come from attention.

I began practicing one simple habit:

 whenever joy appeared, I paused and asked,

 “Who made this moment possible?”

Then I said,
 
“Thank you, G-d, for giving me this joy.”

That pause changed everything.

Over time, my attachment moved from the gift to the Giver.

This isn’t about guilt or withdrawal from pleasure.

 It’s about re-orienting love.

Real joy deepens when appreciation points back to its Source.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Netflix and G-D

How can a finite human have a real relationship
with an infinite Creator?

A real relationship is not only belief or effort.

It is something that must be felt.

When joy is missing, intimacy often is too —

even if commitment and intention are still present.

Many people care deeply about G-d,
yet feel disconnected or unsure why the relationship feels distant.

The issue is not effort.

It is order.

In Jewish thought, G-d is both Father and King.

Love alone does not create joy with a King.

Awe must come first.

Awe is the awareness that G-d is infinite —

beyond time, beyond threat —

and yet our choices still matter because we live inside the moment He creates.

When this awareness reaches the emotional level,
it produces three honest feelings:

sadness from distance
fear from responsibility
wonder from goodness

These emotions are not errors.

They are how hiddenness is felt by a human being.

G-d hides His greatness so relationship can be chosen freely.

When we name these feelings instead of avoiding them,
distance turns into connection.

Humility is not approval-seeking or perfection.

It is honesty.

When awe returns, closeness follows.

When closeness returns, joy returns.

And joy is the sign
that intimacy is alive again.

If there’s no joy in the relationship, intimacy isn’t really happening.

Joy returns when awe returns.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

A Real Relationship

What if saying no wasn’t resistance —

but a spiritual practice?

Many people who feel overwhelmed aren’t lacking discipline or care.

They’re leaking energy.

Here’s a helpful frame:

Your body is the wick.

Your soul is the flame.

Your choices are the oil.

When we say yes too often — 

out of guilt, fear, or pressure —

we don’t fuel the flame.

We exhaust the wick.

Boundaries are not withdrawal.

They are regulation.

Every intentional limit you set:

preserves energy
restores clarity
and allows your inner fire to burn cleanly

Many people fear boundaries will damage relationships.

In reality, unclear boundaries are what lead to resentment and burnout.

A simple check before responding:

Is this choice adding oil to my flame —

or just consuming what’s left?

Boundaries don’t reduce impact.

They make it sustainable.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Saying NO

For a long time, I felt emotionally numb.

I wasn’t disconnected from life.

 I was functioning.

But emotionally, something was muted.

I used to see numbness as a problem to fix.

 Over time, I understood it differently.

Numbness is often a protective response.

 It appears when the nervous system has learned that feeling too much is unsafe.

It’s not indifference.

 It’s regulation through shutdown.

This matters in work, leadership, and relationships.

People who seem disengaged are often protecting themselves, not lacking care.

Change doesn’t come from pushing people to “feel more.”

 It comes from safety.

When safety grows, feeling returns naturally.

Numbness isn’t the opposite of engagement.

 It’s a pause that asks for understanding.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Numb

Why does love feel clear some days, and distant on others?

Many people interpret this fluctuation as a problem —

 as evidence that connection is unstable or unreliable.

In reality, love itself is often stable.

 What changes is capacity.

Clarity tends to show up when:

the nervous system is regulated
attention is available
emotional load is lighter

Distance tends to appear when:

stress is high
survival responses are active
the system is overloaded

This doesn’t mean love weakened.

 It means the channel is busy.

We often confuse felt access with actual presence.

In relationships, leadership, and personal growth, this misunderstanding creates unnecessary doubt.

 People question commitment instead of checking capacity.

Love doesn’t require constant emotional clarity to be real.

 It requires consistency through changing internal states.

Understanding this distinction allows relationships to mature —

 without panic, pressure, or false conclusions.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Clarity of Love

Your brain hates unfinished tasks. 

That’s why open questions stay loud. 

It’s called the Zeigarnik Effect. 

Jeff Bezos leaves problems open. 

Joe Rogan leaves thoughts unfinished. 

Not by accident — because unresolved questions keep the mind engaged. 

Winners don’t rush answers. 

They sit with the question.

 #ZeigarnikEffect #EntrepreneurMindset #MindsetShift #DeepThinking #HighPerformance

Before Jack Ma built Alibaba, he had no money, no proof, no certainty — only belief. 

He convinced 17 people to quit safe jobs. 

When everything collapsed, he trusted himself. 

That belief led to a $20M investment from Masayoshi Son. 

Most entrepreneurs don’t fail because of bad ideas. 

They fail when uncertainty makes them stop trusting themselves. 

#EntrepreneurMindset #SelfBelief #StartupTruth #Founders #Leadership

⭕️ Emotional immaturity means you don’t yet have words for your own feelings…

so you hand them to other people.

Sometimes it’s small and innocent:

“I like this version of the song, so obviously you do too.”

And sometimes it’s destructive:

you start projecting your fear, shame, or sadness onto someone else until they’re carrying emotions that were never theirs.

Like when shame says, “I’m not enough,”

and instead of naming that insecurity, you say to a partner:

“You don’t care about me… you probably want someone else.”

Or when sadness says, “I feel alone,”

and instead of sharing that loneliness, you accuse:

“You’re emotionally distant… you never support me.”

And sometimes projection looks silent, the freeze/flight response:

you shut down, withdraw, and disappear,

projecting your fear by making the other person feel unsafe or unwanted.

It can happen in parenting, too. ⭕️

A parent feels shame, “I’m overwhelmed… I’m failing.”

But instead of processing that pain, they say to the child:

“Why do you always embarrass me? You make everything difficult.”

The child becomes the mirror for the parent’s unspoken emotions,

carrying shame that never belonged to them.

Here’s the turning point:

You stop projecting the moment you learn to offer compassion to the feeling inside you.

And self-compassion begins with listening,

listening to your sadness, your fear, your shame,

so they stop reaching for someone else to hold them.

Self-compassion gives your emotions a place to land
so they don’t have to land on other people.

Maturity is learning to feel what’s yours instead of making others feel it for you.

#generationaltrauma #psychology

Developed and built an aromatherapy brand through the Amazon marketplace from 0-30m+ annual revenue.

Maple Holistics

Kabbalah teaches that creation began through ten energies.

To allow independence, the light was given anonymously.

 The source was hidden.

Over time, each energy developed a sense of self —

 ego.

That ego was too heavy.

 The vessels shattered.

Our world is built from those fallen sparks.

One of those energies is leadership.

When leadership is misaligned,
 it becomes control and abuse.

Abuse is not power.

 It is unresolved, unhealed energy being passed forward.

Victims are never responsible for abuse.

Healing happens through:

awareness of the pattern

self-compassion that affirms pain

boundaries that stop harm

Over time, and only after safety, forgiveness may follow.

Even those stuck in abusive thinking
 can raise their sparks
 when they stop hiding, face reality,
 and choose compassion, truth, and limits.

Every spark lifted
 restores leadership to its original purpose:

 being a channel for goodness and care.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Broken Vessels

Growth doesn’t happen while you’re pushing.
 It happens after you pause.
Busy doesn’t always mean progressing.
 Rest isn’t weakness — it’s strategy.
Because the ones who never stop…
 often never grow.
#GrowthMindset #EntrepreneurLife #WorkSmart #HighPerformance #RestToGrow #BusinessReels

Personal refinement doesn’t come from pushing harder.

When your system feels threatened, thinking narrows.

Decisions get rushed.

Responses get sharp or avoidant.

But awareness changes the sequence.

First you see the pattern.

Then it loosens.

With more clarity, responsibility becomes simpler.

Not heavier.

Simpler.

#NextSelf #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness

Awareness Creates Choice

⭕️ Anger wants change,

sometimes in you,

sometimes in the world around you.

Narcissism twists that anger into hatred,

and hatred doesn’t want change,

it wants destruction. ⭕️

Because when someone can’t face their own shame,

they attack anything that threatens to expose it.

#SpiritualWisdom #JewishWisdom #narcissisticabuseawareness

⭕️ Intense guilt doesn’t mean you’re bad.

It means you want connection, relationship,

and a part of you wants to take responsibility but responsibility requires clarity, not overwhelm.

Here’s the mistake many people make:

they try to reconnect while drowning in guilt.

And guilt is too overwhelming to let you think clearly
or choose a healthy compassionate boundary.

Here’s a practice that may work:

1️⃣ Practice 45 seconds of compassion for the other person, like:

“Their experience matters.”

This relaxes your defensiveness.

2️⃣ 30 seconds of self-compassion.

“My feelings make sense too. My life matters”

This stops the guilt from turning into shame.

3️⃣ Repeat: compassion → self-compassion → compassion.

Back and forth, like breathing.

Why?

Because when both sides are allowed to exist,

your nervous system relaxes enough

to make a boundary without feeling like you’re abandoning anyone.

⭕️ Guilt is the pain of wanting connection,

and responsibility is the way you make that connection real.

But responsibility only works when it’s shaped by compassion and boundaries.

This practice helps get you there.

And sometimes guilt isn't a call “to connect.”

It means “grieve this.”

If repair isn’t possible, mourning is what lets your system let go.

#CompassionInAction #NextSelf #guiltfree

Stop thinking. 

Trust feelings over facts. 

Skip the math. 

Chase shortcuts. 

Follow advice without context. 

You’ll stay busy, but nothing will compound. 

#entrepreneurmindset #foundertruths #businesslessons #startupreality

⭕️ Survival mode makes you think.

Freedom lets you connect.

Survival mode shows up in different ways:

Fight, you use your mind to stay in control.

Flight, you overthink to stay ahead and avoid.

Freeze, you shut down emotionally and hide in your thoughts.

Fawn (people pleasing), you analyze people so you won’t be rejected.

Different patterns, same message from the body:

“Stay safe. Don’t get too close.”

And it works:

Thinking creates distance, and in danger, distance protects you.

Intellect is also needed for a relationship to begin. ⭕️

It’s the beginning of awe, the part of you that tries to understand something greater, G-d’s greatness.

Intellect opens the door.

Trust lets you walk through it.

Because deeper awe doesn’t come from thinking,

it comes from intimacy, from showing up with honesty and healthy curiosity.

This is why emotional maturity can’t grow in survival mode.

Your system is too busy surviving to grow.

Emotional maturity begins when survival stops running your life,

 when trust becomes possible, and intimacy becomes safe.

#spirituality #JewishWisdom #traumahealing

⭕️ In the World to Come, children will grow up in a world with no fear and no shame.

Everything will feel safe from the beginning.

But to understand how big unconditional love really is,

they will still need to learn what darkness used to be. ⭕️ 

And the teachers will be us,

the people who lived through it.

We’re the ones who knew what it felt like to struggle,

to hide our feelings,

to heal slowly,

to learn compassion and boundaries the hard way,

to choose goodness when it wasn’t easy. ⭕️ 

We won’t teach them pain.

We’ll teach them appreciation.

We’ll teach them trust.

We’ll teach them how love with boundaries used to heal people’s emotional worlds.

And that will make their joy and awe deeper,

and their innocence stronger,

without ever having to suffer. ⭕️ 

#SpiritualWisdom #kabbalah #gratitude

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