I grow brands on Insta, TikTok + Pinterest 📈 reaching over 67 MILLION impressions every MONTH for my clients 🔥 Track Record of Scaling Brands on Social | Not just your average marketer 💅

I don’t do trends. I do traction.

You won’t find me pushing hacks, follower goals, or 30-day content calendars.

I work with brands who care more about consistency than chaos - and want their marketing to mean something.

🔹 Fractional CMO (by application only)
For brands ready to grow sustainably, with systems that don’t fall apart in 3 months.
I guide the strategy. Your team executes. Together we scale - cleanly and profitably.

🔹 In-House Marketing Consulting/Management
I coach + run internal teams to run like agencies - without burning out or drowning in busywork.
Structure. Clarity. Direction. All data-driven to your store's backend to optimise for revenue growth.

📌 I’ve helped brands hit 7 figures without paid ads
📌 Generated 1B+ organic impressions across client accounts.
📌 I build systems that do the heavy lifting - so your team doesn’t have to.

Right now, I’m quietly building something new. Stay tuned 👀

Danielle Theobald 🍪

Completely and utterly unremarkable.

that's what I'm striving to be

not ur average LinkedIn post, right?

context: my word for 2026 is 'unremarkable'

and I know that sounds insane coming from me lmao

the girl who feels most comfortable working 14-hour days
scaling businesses
being the busy entrepreneur

my comfort zone is literal chaos 🤡

and that's... not the flex I thought it was

so this year I'm not optimising for growth, I'm optimising for more peace

and let me tell you - sitting in this chill period is UNCOMFORTABLE

it's only been 2 weeks and I'm already battling myself daily

my brain keeps whispering 'you're falling behind' 'you're failing' 'be better'

bc that's my comfort zone

here's what 'unremarkable' looks like for me:

I drive a 2013 beat-up Corsa
but I've paid my entire Bali lease upfront for the foreseeable future

I don't buy designer clothes (Vinted girlie thru and thru 💅)
but I'm on track for early retirement

99% of people here are in hustle mode

grinding, scaling, optimising for MORE

(+ that's fine if that's what YOU want)

but what if slowing down is YOUR version of getting out of your comfort zone?

and I think that's the thing no one talks about

🚨 why aren't we focusing on what feels good for US? 🚨

rather than what looks impressive to strangers on the internet

choose what you want, but for me I cannot wait to be completely unremarkable in 2026

Danielle Theobald

I guarantee 1M+ impressions in 90 days 💰 Scaling health + wellness brands to 7 figs with strategy that sells on Instagram + Pinterest 🧬 BSc in Biochemistry with Hons

if going viral on Insta worked

every brand with a video over 1m views would be rich 

but there's a reason that isn't the case

✨ funnels ✨

it's actually ridiculously easy to get a viral video

(use the retention curve - look at my past posts or YT for a breakdown on this)

but viral video ≠ instant sales

idk why it's still the goal for so many business owners tbh 😭

play it out in your head:

1. your video goes viral, Sarah sees it
2. at best, Sarah is interested and clicks on your profile

without funnel:
3. Sarah's attention isn't caught within 3 seconds with a direct follow through so she goes off your page and continues her doom scrolling

with funnel:
3. Sarah sees a lot of content on your page she's interested in
4. Sarah follows you
5. over the weeks, Sarah gets a lot of genuine value from your account
6. Sarah puts her email in for a lead magnet you promote on stories. you now own her data and she's gone from organic to earned data
7. Sarah may share it with a friend, or she may not read it for a couple weeks
8. Sarah continues getting value from your account 
9. one random Tuesday, Sarah gets hit with an email that specifically targets her and she purchases

question for all students still reading: WHY does Sarah purchase?

answer: because the brand filled her with VALUE, PATIENCE, TRUST, TIME

I guarantee you that if the product arrives and she loves it, she's ordering again AND telling all her friends about it

LTV of Sarah = pretty endless

she alone could make you thousands

repeat after me:

it's not the viral video that gets your brand rich

it's the ✨funnel✨

admittedly this is a bit of a rage post because I'm tired of ONLY seeing formulas for viral videos

when they're actually only 5% of the story x

and for brand owners not running marketing themselves: if your marketing team isn't consistently yapping about funnels and is entertaining a focus of going viral

fire them and hire someone who actually knows how to turn Insta into money in the bank

spending my morning blocking over 200 people on LinkedIn 

you know it’s bad when looking at my own post is a drain 

(me the past month) 

AI comments eeeeverywere

I’m losing brain cells on a platform that should be giving me more insights + info

Ya girl is tired of it

mirror mirror on the wall

blockity block BLOCK AI comments fall

tryna fill the O2 arena is what's killing your brand

let me explain

200 engaged people > 20k ghosts

do you KNOW how many people 200 is?

that's a PACKED room. standing room only. people lining the walls.

but brands are out here trying to fill O2 Arena when they can't even fill a coffee shop with people who actually care 🤡

here's what the research says (yes actual research):

a study on online brand communities found that ENGAGEMENT and IDENTIFICATION with the community - not size, not participation numbers - are what drive:

• brand loyalty
• willingness to co-create with you
• positive WOM

read that again!

it's not about how many people are IN your community

it's about how many people FEEL like they belong

the brand owners obsessing over follower counts?

probably still waiting for their Shopify dings lmao

the brands building real connection with 200 ride-or-dies?

they've got a marketing army that money can't buy

(enter Duo, Aldi, Ryan Air)

so before you stress about growing your numbers...

ask yourself:

do my current people actually care?

bc if they don't, adding more won't fix it x

signed,

your friendly neighbourhood reality check

460k impressions in 30 days on a NEW account is cool

but you know what's even cooler??

- compounding content that never dies (hello guaranteed MRR)
- SEO cheatsheet for blogs for your business (bc Pinterest did the heavy-lifting for you)
- Google boost for free (Pinterest will make you jump to page 1 on Google overnight)

I go on and on (and on) about Pinterest for businesses - but it's not just about the immediate money

It's the HUGE and FREE data collection you can get for your brand

Data you'd pay thousands (even tens of thousands) for

Which is exactly why OpenAI are looking at acquiring Pinterest 

(specifically, for their shopping insights + data)

get on it besties!!

easy $50k Pinterest funnel

(anyone can build x)

1. lead magnet → nurture → offer
2. 100 pins driving traffic
3. monthly keyword updates
4. scale the top 5 pins

takes a day (or less) 

maintenance = 1 hr/week 

and you’ll have an extra $50k per year within 12 months

ur welcome 🫶

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OPENAI MIGHT ACQUIRE PINTEREST 🚨

read that again bestie!! 

I've been SCREAMING about Pinterest for months

‘its free SEO’
‘its a discovery engine’
‘get on it before everyone else does’

and most of you thought I was being dramatic 🤡

well well well...

OpenAI wants Pinterest for:
• 600M monthly active users
• product search data (goldmine for AI shopping)
• real human engagement insights
• industry-leading discovery algorithms

aka everything I've been telling you makes Pinterest valuable 🤭

the brands who listened?

already have boards ranking
already have pins driving traffic
already have audiences built

the brands who didn't?

about to compete with OpenAI-powered discovery 💀

Pinterest isn't just a vision board anymore

it's about to be the backbone of AI-powered shopping

and if you're STILL not on there...

wake up x

(ps shoutout to my client Kim Palmer - Clementine - who let me know in our Pinterest catch up today!)

Why did it take 75 YEARS for someone to fix the chip box?? 🍟

same cardboard box since the 1950s... until now

Heinz just dropped...

✨ The Dipper ✨

(a chip box with a BUILT IN!! ketchup compartment)

launching in 11 countries at once

restaurants. stadiums. global domination.

this is what happens when brands stop overcomplicating literally everything

Kraft Heinz didn't reinvent ketchup

didn't try to shove an unnecessary product line into dev

didn't come up with weird seasonal offers

they LISTENED to their audience, had FUN, and made something COOL!

and I think we all need to start taking a page from that book

bc idk about you, but I'm tired of the constant in and out consumerism - no one wants it and it's why a lot of brands are losing the game :)

HELLO FRESH HAS DONE IT AGAIN 👏

(which is why they have 7.7 BILLION euros in rev)

let me take you to Waterloo Station, London

they built a life-size kitchen inside their delivery box
had a REAL family cooking dinner every evening (?!)
gave away 9,000 mini boxes with recipes and dinner bells

and now we're all talking about it

here's the thing about HelloFresh:

• 75% market share in the US and Europe
• 7.7 BILLION euros in rev
• the ONLY profitable meal kit company at scale

they didn't get there by playing small

they got there by being bold, testing weird ideas, and having FUN

and that's the reminder for every brand owner reading this:

stop overthinking
start experimenting

your next campaign doesn't need to be perfect!!

guys

why is it normal to run a business on anxiety??

here's the thing about running a business:

clients don't pay on time
but your team still needs paying
suppliers still need paying
LIFE still need paying (!!!!)

and somewhere along the way we normalised business owners just... completely sacrificing their life + savings in the name of cash flow

like that's a badge of honour?? 🤡

I used to do this

dip into personal savings
draft 17 versions of 'hi just checking in on this invoice 🙃
stress about money at 2am

until I realised: this is literally what business loans exist for

I used iwoca Flexi-Loan when a few clients ghosted their invoices

no drama
no judgment  
just breathing room for extra cashflow while late payments came through

the stigma around business loans is actually WILD

we'll happily take out mortgages, car finance, student loans

but a business loan to keep your company healthy? suddenly that's failure?

nah

getting help when you need it isn't weakness

it's smart business

(paid partnership with iwoca but I'd shout about them anyway - used them when cash flow got bumpy and genuinely rate them ✨)

Link in the comments!

Helping 9-5 pros build their Corporate Offramp | Land 1st client in a 1-person business you control

You’ve outgrown your 9–5. 
Now what? 

You’ve built a solid career. Maybe even a great one. But lately… 

The Sunday scaries hit a little harder.
You keep wondering, “Is this really it?”

You don’t hate your job. You’ve just outgrown it. And the money is the only part that serves you. 

You’ve done everything right.
But you still feel boxed in by meetings, org charts, and the constant anxiety of “restructuring.”

You know your skills are worth more – but no one’s shown you how to turn them into something of your own.

You're not trying to blow up your life.
You just want to know it’s possible.

That’s what the ‘Corporate Offramp’ is for.

It’s my step-by-step system to help high-performing professionals:
→ Package their skills into a client-ready offer
→ Build a simple audience of people ready to work with them
→ Land their first client in 120 days—without quitting their job

You’ll start earning outside your 9–5 and finally take control of what’s next.

This isn’t about quitting tomorrow.
It’s about progress. Building something – before you need it. 
And when you’re ready to start having control over your time. 

What others are saying:

“What really stands out about Brian is his authenticity. And his responsiveness is in a league of its own. His mix of broad entrepreneurial knowledge, specific expertise in areas like LinkedIn strategy, and straight-talking advice puts him at the top of my list.” 
– Melissa, ex-ed tech exec

“I started building while still in my 9-5, and landed my first client within 3 months (..before being let go by my company!).”
– Cassie, former tech manager

Here’s how to get started:

📥 Grab the Free 5-Day Solo Business Blueprint in my Featured section – and get the exact roadmap to land your first client without quitting your job (or even changing your LinkedIn profile). 

🎯 Want a faster path?
Join me for the Fast Track to Freedom Workshop – where I’ll walk you through:

• What to focus on (hint: not your website)
• Where 90% of your effort should go
• How to build an audience (without posting daily)
• The path to your first paid client – in 120 days

🎟 Save your seat: simplemanguide.com/workshop

Your 9–5 got you started.
Your next move is on your terms.

taplio

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Brian Gallagher

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The Battle

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