3x Olympian | Executive Sparring Partner for Senior Leaders in D-A-CH | The Executive Edge - ASPIRE: High performance that protects people’s health and dignity

I’m Eva Gysling, a three-time Olympic swimmer and executive/team leader with 35+ years in complex organisations. I know real pressure - on the starting block and in the boardroom - and how much potential gets wasted when culture is left to chance, systems are poorly designed, and leadership behaviour goes unchallenged.

My work sits where Olympic mindset, executive leadership, culture and corporate mental health meet. Burnout isn’t an individual weakness, and “tough” leadership doesn’t justify daily micro-suffering - especially when it’s driven by bad behaviour. High performance without psychological safety is a contradiction. If people pay with health or dignity, it’s not performance, it’s system failure and a culture problem.

That’s why I created The Executive Edge - ASPIRE: a clear six-module framework for senior leaders who build healthy high-performance cultures on purpose. ASPIRE turns intent into standards, rituals and tools across:

• Pressure design
• Accountability
• Resilience
• Strategic agility
• Team confidence
• Culture anchoring

Purpose:
Design pressure, behaviour and collaboration so people can deliver ambitious results while staying healthy, respected and appreciated.

Who I work with (DACH)
• Senior leaders in tech, healthcare and other disruptive environments (and their leadership teams)
• People & Culture / HR leaders responsible for culture, mental health and leadership quality
• Interprofessional bridge leaders (Product, IT, Ops, Clinical/Service) living in the friction between silos
• Selected consultants, coaches and executive-education partners who want an Olympic-tested, tool-rich system to plug into their work

Together, we redesign how pressure, workload, behaviour, collaboration and culture are handled so leaders don’t have to choose between results and system health.

What I don’t do:
I don’t train people to “be more resilient” so they can tolerate the intolerable. No glossy wellbeing without accountability. No treating bad leadership as a private issue. Psychological safety is infrastructure, non-negotiable, measurable, and owned.

What working with me feels like:
Calm under pressure; direct, respectful and appreciative; Olympic-level standards with high respect for people. We install small, robust rituals/behaviors that hold when things get tough: clearer decisions, fairer load, healthier teams, and more honest collaboration. Proof, not slogans.

If this sounds like your world, let’s explore whether ASPIRE can help you build the healthy high-performance culture you actually want to own.

Eva Gysling, OLY

Money can buy influence.
Degrees can open doors.
But only character earns respect.

Some things grab attention fast.

Money. Degrees.
Followers. Status.

They look impressive from the outside.
They just do not tell you who someone really is.

What actually matters shows up differently ↓

→ How someone treats people with nothing to offer.
→ How someone carries success without arrogance.
→ How someone acts when no one is watching.
→ How someone gives without needing credit.

Titles fade.
Positions change.
Attention moves on.

But…
Character stays.
And it always leaves a mark.

Choose carefully what you admire.

♻️ Repost now with others
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Eva Gysling

Most mistakes feel enormous only because we replay them in our own head.

We zoom in.
We exaggerate.
We turn one moment into a full story about who we are.

But step outside your perspective for a second.

What feels huge to you often barely registers to anyone else.

People are focused on their own deadlines.
Their own worries.
Their own missteps.

The real damage rarely comes from the mistake itself.
It comes from how long we punish ourselves for it.

Growth does not come from being flawless.
It comes from recovering quickly.

This is what you should do...

✅ Learn the lesson.
✅ Adjust the approach.
✅ Keep moving.

Most mistakes are small.
Staying stuck in them is what makes them feel big.

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Character is revealed not in the spotlight.

It shows up in how you treat the people who cannot help you.

The ones who cannot influence your career.
The ones who cannot reward or recognize you.
The ones who are invisible to everyone else.

This is where true integrity lives.

True leaders behave the same way regardless of the situation:

→ Always give time and guidance.
→ Treat everyone fairly - not selectively.
→ Listen actively and acknowledge perspectives.
→ Speak with respect, even when no one is watching.

Why does this matter?

Because power and success are temporary.

Titles fade.
Money comes and goes.
But reputation and integrity endure.

The way you treat those who cannot help you defines who you really are.

It shows what kind of leader, colleague, or human you are when no one else is looking.

Credits: Jen Blandos

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Matty Piazzi

Former Athlete | Building a more inclusive world by spreading wellbeing globally | 10 yrs in Sports + 10 yrs in Wellbeing condensed into Daily Content

Who am I?

Uh, great question. 

I was lucky to grow up in a poor family with very little. 

And at the same time, in one of the most beautiful villages on Earth, Moena (Italy), also called “The Fairy of the Dolomites.”

Since I was a child, I’ve always had three big passions: sports, health, and entrepreneurship. 

I don’t know why, but I always believed my future would be in one or more of these three areas.

After playing football, I discovered cross-country skiing when I was nine.


First results? Bad, really bad. 

But as sports teach us, self-discipline is the secret sauce of success.

In short, at 18, I’m constantly in the top five places in Italy in my category. Great, but to make the sport a meaningful career you must be in the top three, not five.

So, at 18, I realized my future wouldn’t embrace my first passion, sports.


Now what?

Well, here's what happened in the following years.



▶︎ 2013: Started out as a Personal Trainer at Body Energy Wellness Club in Verona, Italy. Worked with over 200 clients and did more than 10,000 personal training sessions.

▶︎ 2014: Launched MP Fit Wellness, a wellness studio focused on weight loss.

▶︎ 2015: Expanded MP Fit Wellness to include nutritionists and psychologists.

▶︎ 2016: Rolled out one of Italy’s first wellness web apps, connecting with clients all over the country.

▶︎ 2017: Started offering wellness services for small and medium-sized businesses.

▶︎ 2020: Created Moonly, a wellbeing solution for corporate teams in Italy.

▶︎ 2024 - Stealth Mode...



Now, let's get back to us.

What am I doing here on LinkedIn?

I'm just bringing as much value as possible.

How?

By giving away:

→  All my experience (11 years in weight loss and wellness)

→  All the practical tools we developed with psychologists and used in MP Fit Wellness with clients.



What's my purpose?

→  “Building a world where everyone belongs through the power of wellbeing"



So, if this is aligned with your purpose and values, I'll be happy to meet you. 

Bye, and thanks for reading — really appreciate it!


— Matty

☑️ 2023: I’m joining a global mission at Lunha.

How to be productive at work

Here’s what works for me:

(ps. Each of these could be a full post, but I'll keep it quick)



1st Pillar: Time Management

Mastering time is key to productivity.

(Even though I think energy management matters more)

Here’s what I do:


1.    Time Tracking

I track where my time goes so I can see:

→    What’s productive

→    What’s a waste

→    What’s worth investing more in


2.    Time Planning

Every Sunday, I plan my next week, based on my time tracking data.


3.    Time Prioritization

I decide what matters most using:

→    My boundaries

→    My energy levels throughout the day

→    What’s actually important vs. just urgent


4.    Time Batching

Grouping similar tasks together saves energy.

It was a game-changer for me.

→    Emails + messages? One time block.

→    LinkedIn stuff? One dedicated slot.


5.    Time Blocking

I work in 50-minute focus slots.

Then take a 8/10-minute break.




2nd Pillar: Energy Management

Productivity isn’t just about time.

It’s about having the energy to use it well.

Here’s what I do:


1.    Exercise

I work out every day for an hour.

The gym is my second home.

(Fun fact: I used to be a personal trainer)


2.    Nutrition

I eat 5 small, balanced meals daily.

About: 40% carbs, 30% protein, 30% fats.


3.    Hydration

I drink 8 liters of water and purple tea a day.

→    1 liter in the first hour after waking up

→    About 0.5 liters per hour after that

(Yeah, it’s a lot. Drink what works for you!)


4. Sleep

I sleep about 8 hours a night. Let’s say 350 days a year.


5. Nature Breaks

Every break, I spend 2 minutes looking at nature.

And I walk outside for at least 50 minutes a day.




3rd Pillar: Focus Management

Time and energy are useless if you’re constantly distracted.

Here’s what I do:


1.    Meditation

I meditate 15 minutes a day. Zazen.

It’s just part of my morning routine.


2.    Mindfulness

I “forced” myself to stay extremely present throughout the day.

Especially during my breaks.

Plus, writing and talking to myself out loud is a mindfulness practice I love.


3.    Breathwork

Before jumping back into work, I take a few deep breaths to reset my focus.


4.    Zen Environment

I keep my space (and my life) extremely minimalistic.

Less clutter, fewer distractions.

I don’t like stuff.


5.    Single-tasking

I focus on one thing at a time.

→    Multitasking isn’t for me.

→    Deep, focused work? Definitely for me.



That’s it.

Now your question is:

→    How is it possible to do all of that?

It’s called habits. Or systems.

How do you brush your teeth every day?

You just created a habit around it.

Same thing.


What’s your favorite productivity hack? :)


– Matty

Former Athlete | Building a world where everyone belongs through the power of wellbeing

Why I walk 30 minutes a day

Here are 4 secret reasons:



1.    Walking clears my mind

Stepping away from screens gives my brain a reset.

It’s a mental pause. A chance to think without distraction.

Some of my best ideas?

They pop up while I’m walking.

Nature is magic.



2.    Walking helps me tune in

I talk to myself while walking… out loud.

Yeah, really.

It helps me work through my thoughts and feelings.

And everything going on in my life.

It’s kinda like therapy for me.



3.    Walking boosts my energy

Most people think walking (or exercise) drains energy.

The reality? It does the opposite.

A daily walk:

→    Releases endorphins

→    Reduces fatigue

→    And leaves me feeling happier and less stressed



4.    Walking improves my sleep

I’ve never had serious sleep issues, but I’ve also always been active.

For me, great sleep = peak performance.

The better I sleep, the sharper I am the next day.

And walking in nature?

Big part of that.

At least for me.



Now the question is:

→    What if I can’t get outside?

I still walk, just indoors.

Slowly, around the house.

Walking’s been part of my life since I was 3, hiking up and down mountains with my dad in the Dolomites, Italy.

So yeah, I believe in the power of walking.

What about you?

Do you walk daily?

And most importantly, ever been to the Dolomites? :)


– Matty

How to reduce stress at work

Try this:

→    Savoring a positive moment

Yep, it works.

Stick with me. Just 5 simple steps.



1.    When stress hits, pause and notice a good moment.

It doesn’t have to be anything big.

Just something that feels good. Even for a second.

It could be:

→    A kind message from a friend

→    The warmth of sunlight on your skin

→    The taste of your favorite tea (mine is purple tea)

→    The feeling of cozy blankets or fresh air on a walk



2.    Now, instead of rushing past it, let yourself soak it in.

Take a deep breath and say (in your head or out loud):

→    “This feels really nice”

→    “I wanna remember this”



3.    Now, make the moment stick.

How?

Engage all your senses.

Focus on what you:

→    See: the colors, the light, the details

→    Hear: background sounds like music, laughter, birds

→    Feel: warmth, softness, coolness, or comfort

→    Smell and taste: if food or drink is involved, slow down and really enjoy it



4.    Now, picture that positive feeling spreading through your body like warmth or light.

Hold onto it for at least 10–20 seconds before moving on.

And if you’d like, jot down a quick note about that moment. 

Just a few words are enough, like:

→    “Sun on my face. Felt peaceful”

→    “Laughing with a friend. Warm and light”

→    “Morning purple tea. Calm focus.



5.    When stress hits again, just recall the moment.

Close your eyes and revisit that memory.

Your brain will bring back the same calm, happy feeling.



Is it gonna work?

The answer is yes.

Our brains are wired to focus on negative experiences.

But savoring small positive moments helps train your brain to notice and hold onto the good.

Over time, this boosts your mood and reduces stress.

Should we give it a try?


– Matty

How to build mental toughness

Mental toughness isn’t about pushing through.

It’s about training your mind to stay strong under pressure.

Here’s how to use the 4Cs to build it, with one exercise for each.



1.    C — Control

Exercise: Deep breathing (daily)

When things get tough, the first thing to control? Your calm.

Here’s a simple way to practice it:

→    Find a quiet spot and sit comfortably

→    Close your eyes

→    Breathe in slowly through your nose for 4 seconds

→    Hold it for 4 seconds

→    Breathe out through your mouth for 4 seconds

Repeat this 4-4-4 cycle for 3-5 minutes. Every day.

Why?

Because it helps you stay calm and manage stress when pressure hits.



2.    C — Commitment

Exercise: Set and track your goals (weekly)

Commitment isn’t just setting goals, it’s following through.

Try this:

1.  Pick one goal, like learning a new language (Italian, maybe? Ti piace come idea?)

2.  Break it into smaller steps

3.  Set deadlines and add them to your calendar

4.  Check off tasks as you complete them

Tracking progress keeps you accountable.

And it makes sticking with your goal way easier.



3.    C — Challenge

Exercise: Try something new (weekly)

If you avoid discomfort, you avoid growth.

Adversity and mental toughness are best friends.

Here’s how to get better at challenges:

1.  Pick something you’ve been hesitant to try (like going to the gym)

2.  Break it into smaller steps

3.  Plan your approach

4.  Take the first step. Even if it feels uncomfortable

5.  Reflect: “What did I learn? How can I improve?”

Why does this work?

Because resilience is built by facing challenges and reflecting on them, not avoiding them.



4.    C — Confidence

Exercise: Positive thinking (daily)

Doubt shows up when you need confidence the most.

Flip the script by focusing on your strengths.

Try this:

1.  Think of a situation where you often doubt yourself

2.  Write down positive statements about your abilities, like:

→    I’m prepared

→    I can handle this

→    I’ve got everything I need

3.  Repeat these affirmations daily, especially before you face that situation

Why?

Because over time, this rewires your brain to trust yourself.



That’s it.

Mental toughness isn’t built overnight.

It’s built daily.

The more we practice these 4 exercises, the stronger our mindset becomes.

Ready to become mentally stronger?


– Matty

How to handle stress at work

Here’s a simple tool:

→    The 3 R’s of Stress Management

Give it a second. It’ll make sense.



1.    R — Release

When you’re stressed, the first step is getting it out of your head.

How?

Grab a pen and write down exactly how you feel.

No pen? Use your notes app. Doesn’t matter.

Don’t hold back. Let it flow:

→    “I feel frustrated when I hear constant complaints”

→    “It makes me anxious and overwhelmed”

Why bother?

Because bottling up stress only makes it worse. 

Especially at work.

Think of it like letting steam out of a pressure cooker.



2.    R — Reconcile

Now, take a breath.

Here’s the truth:

You can’t control how others act.

But you can control how you respond.

Remind yourself:

→    It’s okay to feel frustrated

→    Their complaints are about them, not me

→    They might be dealing with their own struggles

Accepting what you can’t change frees you to focus on what you can.

That’s the power of radical acceptance.

It lightens the emotional weight you’re carrying at work.



3.    R — Reframe

Alright, now it’s time to shift your perspective.

Ask yourself:

→    Instead of seeing this as a problem, how can I grow from it?

→    How can I turn this into a chance to improve our work environment?

For once, focus on yourself. 

Think about what you can gain from this.

Maybe instead of getting frustrated, you suggest a team meeting to tackle challenges together.

Or maybe you help a coworker find solutions instead of just venting.

This shift in mindset makes you feel:

→    More in control

→    Less stressed

At the end of the day, it’s all about perspective.



That’s it.

You can’t avoid stress, but you can manage how it affects you.

Use the 3 R’s to handle it better, so work feels a little lighter.

So, what’s one stressor you’re reframing today?


– Matty

How to handle anxiety at work

Here’s your fix:

→    Thought Dump Journaling

It’s like… how do I put it? 

It’s like decluttering your mind… on paper. That’s it.

And trust me, it’s a game changer.

Here’s how to try it.



1.    Get comfy somewhere you won’t be interrupted.

Grab a notebook, your phone, or anything you can write on.



2.    Now, just write. No filters.

Let the thoughts flow. Big, small, messy, repetitive, whatever.

→    What’s stressing you out?

→    What’s been on your mind all day?

Even random stuff like “I need to buy toothpaste” goes on the page.

Don’t edit. Don’t overthink. Just write.

No one’s gonna read it. Don’t worry.



3.    After a few minutes, look at what you’ve written.

Ask yourself:

→    Are there patterns in my worries?

→    What can I let go of right now?

→    Is there one small step I can take to address any of this?



4.    Close your notebook or app. That’s enough for today.

And remind yourself:

→    These thoughts can stay here. I don’t have to carry them anymore.



Sounds weird? 

I get it, but it quiets anxiety.

Why?

Because when your mind’s overloaded, writing helps you unload. 

It sorts out the mess in your head. 

And it gives you space to breathe, think, and reset.

Is that why I’m posting daily on LinkedIn? 

Well… who knows.

Ready to give it a try?


– Matty

How to bounce back stronger

Resilience isn’t just about pushing through.

It’s about learning, adapting, and coming back stronger.

Here’s a simple way to build resilience:

(Simple, not easy)



1.    Before anything else, carve out time.

Take two hours just for yourself.

No distractions. Just you.



2.    Now, pick one area of your life to focus on:

→    Career

→    Health

→    Relationships

→    Anything that matters to you

Focusing on just one area helps you get clear.

And it keeps things manageable.



3.    Now, grab a pen and paper.

Write down:

→    10 wins from the past 12 months in that area

→    10 losses from the past 12 months in that area

Big or small. It all counts.

The goal is reflection, not dwelling on the past.



4.    Now, turn each win and loss into a Gratitude Statement.

A lesson you took from it.

Ask yourself:

→    What did I learn from this?

For example, let’s say you got a promotion at work.

That’s your win.

Your Gratitude Statement could be:

→    I’m grateful because it showed me that hard work pays off. And boosted my confidence

Now, let’s say your loss is missing a big project deadline.

Your Gratitude Statement could be:

→    I’m grateful because it taught me how to respect my time. And others’.

Got it?

One statement per win and loss.

Total: 20 insights.

Told you. It’s simple, not easy.



5.    Now comes the interesting part:

→    Make it a habit

How?

Each week, take a few minutes to reflect.

But this time, just write down:

→    1-3 wins from the week

→    1-3 losses from the week

And for each one, write a Gratitude Statement.

That’s 2-6 lessons a week.

Imagine what that adds up to over time.

Not bad, right?


Gratitude, self-reflection, and resilience are best friends.

Let’s not forget that.


– Matty

How to build resilience

Here’s a practical tool:

→    The Resilience Role Model

Stick with me!



1.    First, think of a resilience role model.

Someone you admire for their resilience.

Could be a famous figure.

An athlete.

Someone from your personal life.

Even a fictional character.

Write down their name and a few reasons why they inspire you.

For example:

→    My grandpa. He always stayed strong and optimistic during tough times

Which is true! One day, I’ll tell you about my two grandpas.

They’re my superheroes!



2.    Now, list their qualities and actions.

Ask yourself:

→    What specific qualities do they have?

→    What actions or strategies do they use to bounce back?

For example:

→    Qualities: Perseverant, optimistic, tenacious, gritty, adaptable

→    Actions: He asks for help when needed. He keeps a positive attitude.



3.    Now, think about a situation where you need more resilience.

Ask yourself:

→    What would my role model do in this situation?

→    How would they think, feel, or act differently than I am now?

For example:

→    He’d stay calm and focus on solving one piece at a time instead of worrying about everything at once



4.    Now, borrow their approach.

Write down one or two things you can apply to your own challenge.

Like:

→    I’ll remind myself to take it one step at a time, just like he would

→    I’ll focus on solutions instead of dwelling on the problem



That’s it.

At the end of the day, resilience is all about perspective, right?


Oh, one more thing:

→    Over time, explore resilience strategies from different role models

Build a toolkit of approaches you can rely on.

We’re not gonna learn everything from our grandparents, right? 

But we CAN learn a lot from them.

Are you gonna try it?


– Matty

How to stop overthinking at work

Ever feel stuck in your own head, overanalyzing every little thing?

It’s exhausting, right?

Here’s a quick trick to break the cycle:

→    The Third-Person Perspective

It’s like stepping outside your thoughts to see things more clearly.

It’s like asking yourself:

→    What would I say if I were giving advice to a friend in this situation?

Let’s give it a shot.



1.   When you catch yourself spiraling, stop for a moment.

Take a deep breath and give yourself space to reflect.



2.    Now, picture the situation happening to someone else.

Like a friend.

→    How would you describe it without judgment?

→    What advice would you give this “other person”?

For example, instead of thinking:

→    “I’m so bad at this, I’ll never get it right.”

You might say:

→    “They’re working hard and learning. What small step can they take next?”



3.    If you’re still feeling stuck, write your thoughts as if you’re giving advice.

Literally, grab a pen and paper and jot it down.

Seeing it on paper makes it feel less overwhelming.

And way more manageable.



That’s it.

Overthinking thrives on emotional intensity.

But shifting to a third-person perspective creates emotional distance.

It helps us:

→    See the situation more objectively

→    Be kinder to oursleves

→    And focus on what we can actually do

So, next time your mind won’t stop spinning, take a step back.

Change your perspective.

You might just find the clarity you’ve been searching for.

Ready to try?


– Matty

How to beat procrastination at work?

Let’s see how to use the 3 R’s of Procrastination:



1.    R – Recognition

First, notice when you’re procrastinating. 

Don’t beat yourself up. Just catch yourself in the act.

For example, it could look like this:

→    When you’re strolling on your phone instead of working

→    When you start feeling that familiar urge to avoid a task

Just recognize what’s triggering the procrastination.

Now the question is:

→    How?

Here’s what to do:

→    Keep a small notebook or use your phone

→    Jot down each time you catch yourself procrastinating

Just be sure to include a few details. 

Ask yourself:

→    What tasks am I avoiding?

→    How do I feel when I’m avoiding them?

Recognizing procrastination as it happens makes it easier to step back.

You’re no longer “a procrastinator”.

You’re just someone noticing the procrastination. 

A completely different thing, right?

This helps you step back and take control. 

How we think about ourselves (our identity) plays a key role in cases like this.



2.    R – Reflection

Alright, we’ve just recognized the procrastination. 

Now what?

First, don’t ignore it. 

Take a moment to think about how you’ll feel if you don’t tackle the task.

Ask yourself:

→    What’s the cost of putting this off?

→    Will I feel stressed later?

→    Will it mess up my goals for the week?

Then, picture how good you’ll feel if you get it done. 

Visualize the relief (or satisfaction) you’ll feel when the task is finished.

Got it? 

The goal here is to connect procrastination to its consequences.

Why?

Because we’re human. 

And humans are often more motivated by “the fear of losing” than by “the promise of success.” 

When we reflect on what we might lose, we create a sense of urgency. 

And that urgency helps us take action.



3.    R – Response

Alright, we’ve just reflected on the impact of procrastination. 

Now it’s time to act.

But here’s the trick:

→    Start small

Don’t try to do everything at once. Just take the first baby step. 

Pick the smallest and easiest part of the task to get started with.

For example:

→    Opening the document

→    Writing the first sentence

Once you start, you’ll likely feel more confident and ready to keep going.

For example, I’m writing this LinkedIn content in Google Docs.

But I never start with a completely empty page. 

The day before, I jot down a few points. 

So when I come back the next day, I can start right away.

As we know, the goal is to create momentum, not perfection.

Agree?


– Matty

How to boost your confidence at work

Try this:

→    The Power Pose

I’m not joking.

It’s a quick way to reset your mindset and energy in just a couple of minutes.

You can use it before key meetings or big presentations.

Or anytime you need a confidence boost.

Ready?

Let’s try it out!



1.    Pick a place where you feel comfortable and won’t be interrupted.

You only need a few minutes.

And yes, privacy is key.



2.    Now, strike a confident posture.

How?

→    Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart

→    Place your hands on your hips or stretch your arms out wide

→    Lift your chest and slightly raise your chin, like you’re owning the moment



3.    Stay in the pose for 1–2 minutes and focus on your breath:

→    Breathe in deeply through your nose, letting your chest expand

→    Breathe out through your mouth, releasing any tension



4.    While you hold the pose, imagine yourself radiating strength and energy.

Say a simple affirmation, like:

→    “I’ve got this!”

→    “I’m strong and capable!”

→    “Today is my day to shine!”



5.    When you’re done, notice how you feel.

→    Are you standing taller?

→    Feeling more energized and confident?

Chances are, yes.

Now, take that sense of power into whatever’s next on your agenda.



Will this work?

You bet it will.

Why?

Because standing tall and confident signals your brain that you’re ready.

It triggers hormonal changes that boost your energy and mindset.

So, next time you’re feeling low, take two minutes to try this.

Your body (and your brain!) will thank you.

Wanna give it a shot?


– Matty

How to stop being so reactive at work

Let’s try this:

→    The 4 R’s of Emotional Regulation

It helps you take charge of your reactions, even in stressful moments.

Here’s how you can give it a go!



1.    R — Recognize

When you feel reactive, the first step is to check in with yourself.

Are you feeling tense?

Frustrated?

Maybe a little anxious?

Most of the time, we don’t even realize we’re upset until we’ve already reacted.

And that’s okay. We’re human.

So, pause for a moment and ask yourself:

→    What’s going on in my head and body right now?



2.    R — Relax

Your body needs to calm down in those moments, right?

So, once you’ve recognized how you’re feeling, it’s time to relax.

But how?

The trick is to get your body out of that fight-or-flight mode.

"Uh, okay Matty… but how do I actually do that?"

Well, try this:

→    Breathe in through your nose for 4 sec

→    Hold your breath for 4 sec

→    Breathe out through your mouth for 4 sec

Just repeat it a few times.

It’s gonna help bring your nervous system back to a calmer state.

Basically, you’ll feel more relaxed :)



3.    R — Reframe

Alright, we’re a little more relaxed now.

So, what’s next?

Now it’s time to shift how you’re thinking.

Why?

Because our reactions are often driven by our thoughts.

And reframing can make a huge difference.

For example, instead of thinking:

→    "This is too much, I can’t handle it"

Try asking yourself:

→    "What can I learn from this?"

or

→    "What’s another way to look at this?"

Reframing helps you move from a reactive mindset to a more balanced one.



4.    R — Respond

Alright, your body is calmer now. And your mind is clearer.

So, it’s time to respond.

What do I mean?

I mean, you’re in a good place to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting on impulse.

For example, you could try:

→    Taking a few deep breaths before replying to a tough email

or

→    Walking away from a heated conversation to give yourself a moment to think

The key is to make sure you’re acting with intention, not just reacting.

And to do that, you need to embrace the first 3 R’s:

→    Recognize

→    Relax

→    Reframe

Only then can you truly Respond.



That’s it. 

That’s how you can use The 4 R’s of Emotional Regulation.

The good news?

You can use them in lots of situations, not just when you’re feeling reactive.

They come to the rescue anytime you need to regulate your emotions :)


Ready to give them a go?


– Matty

Gratitude is the fastest way to feel happy.

Here’s how to use the Wheel of Gratitude:



1.    Presence

One way to practice daily gratitude?

→    Just be grateful for the here and now

Say “thanks” for everything you have in this moment.

For example, let’s say you’re enjoying a quiet evening at home.

Well, why not feel grateful for the cozy space and the comfort it brings?



2.    Abundance

Here it’s all about being grateful for the good things in your life.

Both big and small.

Maybe you wanna be grateful for a family that loves you.

Maybe for good friends.

Or maybe just for having a steady job.

Whatever it is, take a second to appreciate it.



3.    Reflection

We learn a lot from our past experiences, right?

So why not be grateful for them?

For the lessons they taught us?

And I know what you’re thinking:

→    “Matty, it’s tough to look back on the difficult times I went through.”

Totally get it.

But those experiences shaped you.

You wouldn’t be the same person without them.

Right?

So, let’s be grateful for how they made us stronger and wiser.



4.    Serenity

Calm and peace. We don’t always notice them, but they matter.

Even when things are tough, they’re there.

Next time you feel stressed, take a deep breath.

And don’t forget to say “thanks” for that moment of calm.



5.    Connection

What would life be without connection?

Imagine life without the people who care about you.

Pretty lonely, right?

Sometimes we forget to appreciate them.

So, let’s feel grateful for our relationships.

Got a friend who always supports you?

Maybe it’s time to say thanks.



6.    Growth

If you’re here, you’ve grown.

In life, we either grow or stagnate. Just like nature.

So, let’s take a moment to appreciate that growth.

To appreciate how we’ve changed over time.

To appreciate the journey we’ve been on.



7.    Grace

You know those little surprises life gives you?

Like when a friend randomly gets you a gift.

Or when a stranger helps you out for no reason.

These things don’t happen every day.

So, let’s be grateful for them when they do.



That’s it.

That’s how to use the Wheel of Gratitude to feel happier every day.

Gotta practice?


– Matty

How to stop making assumptions at work?

Try this:

→    The THINK Method

It’s often used in therapy to reduce conflict.

But we can also use it when we catch ourselves making assumptions.

Let’s see how to use it.



1.    First, take a moment to breathe and notice your thoughts.

For example, you might think:

→    “I feel like my boss thinks I’m not doing a good job”

Now, let’s dive into the THINK method.

We’ll reflect on 5 questions. One for each letter of THINK.



1.    T — Think

Ask yourself:

→    Is this assumption true?

→    What facts do I have to support it?

For example, you might say:

"Last week, my boss didn’t give me positive feedback on my project.

But I also remember she said she appreciated my effort on the last one."



2.    H — Have Empathy

Ask yourself:

→    How might the other person be feeling?

→    What could they be going through?

Sometimes, we just need to put ourselves in others’ shoes.

Maybe your boss is under a lot of stress with deadlines.

Maybe she didn’t have time to give everyone feedback.



3.    I — Interpretations

Ask yourself:

→    Am I considering other possible interpretations of their behavior or words?

Maybe your boss isn’t upset with your work.

Maybe she’s just busy and hasn’t had a chance to acknowledge it yet.

You know what I mean?



4.    N — Notice

Ask yourself:

→    What do I notice about my feelings right now?

→    Am I feeling anxious, insecure, or something else?

You might feel anxious about your boss being unhappy with you.

But it’s not always about you, right? :)



5.    K — Kindness

Ask yourself:

→    How can I respond kindly to myself and the other person?

For example, you might remind yourself that everyone has off days.

You could also check in with your boss about your progress.

And maybe ask for feedback.

Got it?



That’s it.

Try this exercise whenever you notice yourself making assumptions.

As we know, the more we practice, the easier it gets :)


– Matty

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