Evan Nierman

Founder & CEO, Red Banyan PR | Author of Top-Rated Newsletter on Communications Best Practices

I'm the Founder and CEO of Red Banyan, an international public relations and crisis management firm that exists to press the truth and deliver results. My team and I specialize in high-stakes PR, cancel culture response, litigation communications, and complex reputational challenges that require creative thinking, strategic clarity, and unshakable judgment.

For more than two decades, I’ve helped CEOs, public figures, law firms, and global brands navigate their most difficult moments. Whether it’s a viral controversy, a legal dispute, or a reputational crisis, I bring deep media experience and a relentless commitment to exceeding expectations.

I’m also the author of The Cancel Culture Curse and Crisis Averted, and I frequently appear on major news outlets like Fox News, CNN, BBC, and Newsmax to share insights on cancel culture, media strategy, and crisis communications.

🔹 Founder & CEO of Red Banyan
🔹 Author of The Cancel Culture Curse and Crisis Averted
🔹 Regular media commentator on PR and reputation issues
🔹 Trusted advisor to executives, attorneys, and public figures
🔹 Featured in Newsweek, PRWeek, The Washington Post, and Forbes

My mission is simple: help people and organizations tell their stories truthfully, strategically, and powerfully—especially when the stakes are highest.

📩 Learn more at www.redbanyan.com

Founder and CEO

Red Banyan Group is a strategic communications firm specializing in public relations, crisis management and marketing.  Red Banyan Group combines creative thinking, steady judgment shaped by experience and a relentless commitment to achieving results for its clients.  Red Banyan offers a wide array of services, including: media relations, crisis management, marketing, corporate communications, litigation support, social and digital media, copywriting and editing and media training.

Staying in a “good mood” isn’t the point.
Staying composed is.

In moments of pressure, leaders don’t earn trust by being upbeat.
They earn it by being steady.

When stress rises, people stop listening to explanations.

They start reading signals.

Your tone.

Your pace.

Your presence.

I’ve seen reputations damaged not by bad decisions
but by how pressure showed up in a leader’s voice.

Composure isn’t emotional detachment.

It’s emotional discipline.

It’s the ability to remain clear
when others are reacting.

That steadiness doesn’t just calm the room.

It restores credibility.

In a crisis, your emotional control becomes public leadership.

Follow for weekly insights on leadership, reputation, and crisis communication.

Kindness is often misunderstood in leadership.
Especially in moments of pressure.

In a crisis, many leaders believe strength means distance.

Control. Silence. Authority.

But the moments people remember most
are rarely the loud ones.

They remember who stayed human
when it was easier not to.

Over the years, I’ve watched reputations rise and fall under stress.

Not based on decisions alone
but on how those decisions were delivered.

Kindness is not softness.

It’s clarity without cruelty.

Accountability without humiliation.

Leadership without ego.

People do not expect perfection from leaders.

They expect fairness.

And long after the headlines fade,
what remains is how people felt working with you
when things were hard.

That memory outlasts any press cycle.

Leadership is not about being liked.

It is about being respected
even when the pressure is high.

Follow for weekly insights on leadership, reputation, and crisis communication.

Integrity is not measured when everything is calm.
It is measured when there is risk.

In a crisis, everyone claims to have values.

Very few actually demonstrate them.

Over years of working with leaders under pressure, a clear pattern emerges.

People with real integrity do not behave ideally.

They take responsibility when it is most costly.

This is what it looks like in practice:

They do not say what sounds best first.
They take ownership before they are forced to.
They do not trade truth for short-term peace.
They think in terms of long-term reputation, not today’s headline.
They protect people, even when it is unpopular.
They admit mistakes without drama or excuses.

These are not motivational traits.

They are reputational decisions.

The difference between a good leader and a trusted one
is not charisma.

It is behavior when there is no perfect option.

Integrity does not build image.

It determines whether image survives a crisis.

Follow for weekly insights on reputation, crisis PR, and leadership under pressure.

Many experienced entrepreneurs don’t stumble because they lack knowledge. They stumble because they rely too heavily on themselves.

As a company grows, a leader who doesn’t delegate,
doesn’t build a culture of trust,
and doesn’t surround themselves with people stronger than them
eventually becomes the constraint to growth.

True leadership doesn’t come from control.

It comes from self-awareness, trust, and the willingness to let others lead.

Experience doesn’t eliminate blind spots. It often hides them.

In this article, I share five leadership mistakes even seasoned entrepreneurs make

and how they quietly limit growth if left unaddressed.

Grateful to Entrepreneurs'​ Organization’ for the opportunity to explore this topic with their community.

The leaders who scale the furthest are the ones willing to examine what success can make easy to miss.

Read the full article here:

https://lnkd.in/gqD5W4HT

People won’t remember what happened.
They’ll remember how you handled it.

Years after a crisis ends, most people won't recall the details.

The timeline. The investigation findings. The resolution.

What they remember is simpler—and more powerful.

How you showed up.

Whether you seemed scared or steady.

If you told the truth or hid behind lawyers.

Whether you cared more about protecting yourself or doing what was right.

Here's what outlasts the crisis:

1.) Your tone.
Did you sound human or like a press release?
Did you show empathy or just manage liability?

2.) Your presence.

Did you show up when it was hard or disappear until it was safe?
Leaders who face the moment earn respect.
Leaders who vanish lose it permanently.

3.) Your honesty.
Did you own the mistake or spin it?

People can forgive failure. 
They don't forgive dishonesty.
One moment of raw accountability outlasts a dozen polished statements.

4.) Your composure.

Crisis reveals character.

If you panicked, people saw it. If you stayed calm, they felt it.

Composure doesn't mean hiding emotion. It means showing strength when everyone else is looking for it.

I've watched crises fade from headlines within weeks.

But the leaders who handled them well—or poorly—are still defined by those moments years later.

Because facts blur. Emotions stick.

People remember how you carried yourself when everything was falling apart.

Not what the official statement said.

Not what the settlement amount was.

But whether you showed up with integrity, empathy, and courage—or didn't.
The crisis will end.

What you do during it lasts forever.

What people think about you often matters more
than what you actually do.

This might sound surprising, but in reality, perception drives everything.

Your reputation isn't built just on the actions you take.

It's shaped by how the public perceives those actions.

In a world where information spreads faster than ever, perception is often reality.

So, why does your reputation matter more than anything else?

Because in business, trust is the foundation of everything.

From customers to partners, employees to investors, how people feel about your brand influences their decisions, loyalty, and engagement.

Here’s the truth:

When people trust you, they listen to your message, engage with your brand, and stand by you even when times are tough.

But when trust is broken, no amount of good work can fix it.

In a crisis, managing perception can mean the difference between a minor setback and a business-ending scandal.

Reputation is your most valuable asset because it directly impacts:

1.) Customer loyalty
2.) Brand perception
3.) Growth opportunities
4.) Crisis resilience
5.) Leadership influence

To build and protect your reputation, you have to be consistent, transparent, and always in tune with how your actions are perceived especially in moments when you’re under pressure.

When perception is managed well, it doesn’t just protect your business; it propels it forward.

Your reputation isn't just what you've done. 

It's what others believe you've done.

And that belief drives success.

In a crisis, people don’t hear facts first.
They feel.

It’s a critical lesson that many leaders realize too late.

In the heat of the moment, emotions are high. 

Explanations struggle to stick. 

Details blur, and timelines become difficult to follow.

Not because the truth doesn’t matter — but because people’s emotions are overpowering their ability to process information.

Emotion shapes attention. 

It creates the lens through which everything is viewed.

The most effective leaders know that facts alone won’t carry them through a crisis.

They recognize that addressing how people feel is just as important as providing the truth. 

They lead by creating an emotional foundation first, building trust and clarity before moving into the facts.

Here’s what that looks like in practice:

Acknowledge feelings. 
You can’t move forward until people feel heard.

Speak with clarity, not defensiveness. 
A calm, composed message sets the tone.

Give space before precision. 
Sometimes, presence matters more than perfect facts.

Empathy in these moments isn’t a sign of weakness.

It’s a strategic move that helps ground the conversation and brings people back to a place of understanding, even in the chaos.

In uncertain times, being heard can be just as powerful as being right.

Leading with empathy allows you to regain control of the narrative and build the trust needed to move forward.

Before you say anything publicly,
ask yourself one question:

"Would I say this if I knew it would be quoted out of context?"

Because it will be.

Every statement you make can be clipped, screenshotted, and reshared without the nuance you intended.

The careful explanation gets reduced to a soundbite.

The context disappears.

And what's left is whatever fits in a headline or a tweet.

Here's what this question forces you to consider:
Can this be misunderstood?

If your statement requires explanation to be accurate, it's vulnerable.

Simplify it. Clarify it. 

Make it stand on its own.

Does this sound defensive without the full context?

Tone matters more than intent.

If a single sentence sounds evasive or dismissive when isolated, rewrite it.
Would I stand by this if it were the only thing people remembered?

Your most quotable line will become your legacy from that moment.

Make sure it's one you can live with.

Am I saying this for me—or for them?

If your statement is about protecting your ego or winning an argument, it will backfire.

If it's about clarity, accountability, and truth, it will hold.

The best leaders assume every word will be taken out of context.

And they speak in a way that still holds up when it is.

Because you don't control how your words get used.

You only control whether they can survive on their own.

You can’t build credibility in the middle of an attack.
By then, the narrative has already chosen sides.

The internet has changed how reputations are attacked — and how they’re lost.

Today, you don’t need facts to win a narrative.

You need speed, volume, and emotion.

I’ve seen baseless claims turn into “truth” simply because they were repeated often enough, by enough people, in the right corners of the internet.

Once that happens, accuracy becomes secondary to belief.

That’s how bad actors win online.

A few hard realities leaders underestimate:

False narratives spread faster than the truth. 

Research consistently shows misinformation outperforms facts, especially when outrage is involved.

Debunking can backfire. 

Repeating a lie, even to correct it, often amplifies it further.

Belief drives damage. 

Once enough people accept a story, whether it’s true stops mattering. 

Reputations suffer anyway.

Online collectives magnify this effect.

Volume creates legitimacy. 

Repetition creates confidence.

And suddenly, a fringe claim feels mainstream.

The brands and leaders who fare best don’t wait for attacks to peak.

They build credibility early, communicate consistently, and understand that narrative control is proactive, not reactive.

In a digital environment that rewards outrage, the goal isn’t to win every argument.

It’s to make sure your truth is present, clear, and credible before misinformation fills the vacuum.

Because once a false story hardens, reversing it takes exponentially more effort.

And by then, the damage is already done.

The fastest way to lose control in a crisis
is to let others explain your silence.

In a crisis, social media is a weapon.

The question is: are you wielding it—or is it being used against you?

I've seen brands navigate crises brilliantly on social media.

And I've seen them implode because of one careless post.

The difference isn't luck.

It's strategy.

Social media moves fast. Too fast for most crisis teams to keep up.

But when used correctly, it can protect your reputation, control the narrative, and keep your audience engaged.

When used poorly, it amplifies the damage and gives critics ammunition.

Here's how to make social media work for you—not against you—during a crisis:

1. Stay silent if the source is unreliable.
Not every fire needs your attention.

Sometimes, responding to a baseless claim just gives it oxygen.

Ask yourself: Is this credible? 

Is it spreading? 

Does it require our response?

If the answer is no, let it pass.

Reacting to noise can turn nothing into something.

2. Share with care.

Every post during a crisis should be intentional.
Helpful. Relevant. Clear.

Before you post, ask: Could this be misunderstood? 

Could this make things worse?

Because once it's out there, you can't take it back.

And in a crisis, one poorly worded post can undo weeks of damage control.

3. Post with purpose.

Random updates create confusion.

Every message should align with your overall crisis communication strategy.
Ask: What does our audience need to know right now? How does this help clarify the situation?

If you can't answer that, don't post it.

4. Be human.

Corporate-speak kills trust during a crisis.

People want to know there's a real person—who cares—on the other side of the screen.

If someone criticizes you unfairly, don't get defensive.

Address it with empathy.

If the complaint is valid, own it and explain what you're doing to fix it.

Authenticity defuses tension. 

Deflection escalates it.

5. Monitor constantly.

You can't manage what you don't see.

Set up alerts. Track mentions. Watch for patterns.

If misinformation is spreading, you need to know immediately—before it becomes the dominant narrative.

6. Control your channels.

Don't rely on the media or third parties to tell your story.

Use your own platforms—your website, your social accounts, your spokespeople—to communicate directly.

Own the narrative. Don't let someone else shape it for you.

Social media in a crisis is high-risk, high-reward.

It can save you—or sink you.

The brands that survive are the ones that move fast, communicate clearly, and stay relentlessly strategic.

The ones that fail are the ones that react emotionally, post impulsively, or go silent when they should be present.

In crisis, social media doesn't give you time to think.

So you better have a plan before you need one.

A television interview can repair credibility — or permanently redefine it.



I’ve seen leaders accept TV appearances thinking the facts alone would carry them through. They rarely do.

Television amplifies everything — confidence, hesitation, emotion, and missteps — all at once.

Before agreeing to a televised interview, leaders should assess the risk as carefully as the reach.

And if the decision is yes, preparation becomes the strategy.

Here’s what consistently separates strong performances from damaging ones:

1. Preparation beats explanation.

Knowing the facts isn’t enough. You need to anticipate the pressure points and rehearse how you’ll handle them.

2. Visuals matter as much as language.

Tone, posture, and composure often communicate more than the words themselves — especially when clips travel far beyond the original broadcast.

3. Persuasion isn’t about critics.

The audience that matters most is undecided. Messaging should be built for them, not for detractors or loyal supporters.

4. Discipline prevents headlines.

One emotional reaction can overshadow everything else you say.

Handled well, a TV interview reinforces trust and authority.

Handled poorly, it becomes the crisis.

Media doesn’t reward improvisation under pressure.

It rewards clarity, discipline, and leaders who understand the stakes before the cameras turn on.

DOJ press releases don’t just resolve cases, they shape perception instantly. As PPP enforcement accelerates, leaders need to be prepared for the reputational impact, not just the legal process. Download the guide to prepare before the headline hits.
#ppploans #crisisPR #DOJ #redbanyan

The U.S. government is ramping up enforcement around fraudulent PPP loans — and DOJ press releases are publicly naming organizations involved in repayments and settlements.

If your company shows up in one of those headlines, do you know how to protect your brand?

Download our free guide to learn how to manage reputational risk, respond strategically, and regain control of the narrative.

https://lnkd.in/eqn-niFf

#PPPloans #CrisisPR #ReputationManagement #DOJ #LegalCrisis #CrisisResponse #RedBanyan

Brand strength today is measured by how quickly and clearly you respond when expectations change.

In my new piece for Fast Company, I share why responsiveness has become a defining trait of leadership and brand trust.

Read the full article here:

Open article: A new era defined by brand responsiveness by fastcompany.com

A new era defined by brand responsiveness

Honored to speak at the Winter Meeting of the Business Law Section of the Florida Bar this week. Big thanks to The Florida Bar and to Stephanie Lieb of Trenam Law for organizing such a thoughtful and engaging event.

We had a direct and dynamic conversation about the intersection of law, media, and crisis management — a space where strategy and speed can make or break reputations. 

Grateful for the opportunity to share real-world insights with a sharp group of legal professionals.

https://flabizlaw.org/

#FloridaBar #CrisisPR #ReputationMatters #RedBanyan

I help founders unlock the clarity and confidence to scale from startup to unicorn.  

I’ve coached over a dozen founders who’ve grown their startups from $10M to $1B+ in value (Instagram, Solana, Coinbase, Chargebee, Jet, Fetch, Alto, Etc). My clients have collectively impacted the lives of more than 1B people and created more than $100B in value. 

More at www.davekashen.com

Dave Kashen

In less than four days, 10 founders went from strangers to a deeply loving, connected group of friends.

We just completed the second annual Sun Valley Founders Retreat, and I’m feeling deeply heartened and inspired. I’m still buzzing from the energy of the retreat.

It’s incredible to see that, with intentionality and vulnerability, in just a few days a group of founders can release decades-old patterns, constriction and limiting beliefs, connect at the deepest level and truly feel seen by one another, and allow so much love to flow.

They supported one another to experience profound growth and healing, and walked away empowered to build their startups from a state of flow and fun instead of stress and fear.

We had the full range of the startup journey in the room. Early stage founders. A founder who already IPO'd and raised almost $100M for his next company. And a founder who just shut down his startup after raising more than $20M.

Here's what was powerful:

The founder who just shut down was experiencing the thing founders fear most. And he was totally okay. And the founder who achieved the "dream exit"? His experience of life was not somehow just totally perfect.

Both their experiences landed viscerally in ways no book could teach.

Achieving outer success does not lead to lasting inner fulfillment. And experiencing outer failure does not lead to shame and a lifetime of misery. Recognizing this helps release attachment to the outcome so you can enjoy the startup journey, and invites a focus on the inner work that actually does make a lasting difference in your well-being.

We explored how to experience inner peace while still being ambitious and successful. And most had fear around whether that was even possible. After all, there are so many examples of massive financial successes that seem to stem from fear, pain and lack.

So we deeply explored what success without suffering looks like. We talked about raising the bar - so that the goal is not just to succeed but to succeed from a state of love and presence.

We did the deep work. Emotional release. Belief shifting. Letting go of attachments. Learning to actually give and receive love. We skied, danced and dined together. We experienced what it’s like to operate in a state of love and how that enables success without suffering.

Hearts cracked open. People literally looked brighter and lighter by the end.

I have such deep appreciation for everyone who showed up and their level of commitment, engagement, curiosity, courage and heart.

So grateful to these incredible founders: Omar Shaya, Sai Karra, Neil Parikh, Anna Kazlauskas, Rene Caissie, Lauren (Luna) Ray Vegter, Brian Goldsmith, Brian Chhor, Ray Jang, Katie Beadle.

And to the wonderful coaches who showed up to co-facilitate and support: Emma Wood, Nicole Bliss, Eric Allen

If you weren't able to join this year and want to explore being part of next year's (Jan 20-24, 2027 in Sun Valley)

Applications are now open. Link in comments.

The money was already mine. I just had to wait six more months to collect it.

But I quit anyway.

This was 2009. I'd just sold my first startup after four years of grinding myself into the ground.

The retention package had two parts: performance-based and time-based. Six months in, we'd hit the performance targets. The money was guaranteed now. I literally just had to stay employed for six more months.

That's when my coach said: "I'm going to hold. You're going to call the CEO right now and quit, or I'm done coaching you."

I was terrified.

I just had a newborn son, was the sole provider, and it was a lot of money that I didn’t have. 

But every single day at that company felt like my soul was dying.

I hired a coach after the acquisition because I felt like a shell of myself: stressed, fried, trapped after those four years.

Then I went to a weekend program at the Coach's Training Institute.

The moment I walked in, I knew that these were my people. 

This was what I was here to do.

I spent four years trying to prove I was worthy through startup success. Suddenly I was in a room full of people doing work that felt like my zone of genius – the intersection of what lights me up and what I'm naturally gifted at.

But the logical play was painfully obvious: just wait it out. 

Six more months of showing up, and I'd have the money to do whatever I wanted.

My coach saw what I couldn't see yet: I was choosing financial safety instead of living out my truth. Every day I stayed was another day of choosing status over purpose.

So I clicked over. Put my coach on hold. Called Chris Schroeder, the CEO.

"Chris, I found out what I'm here on earth to do. I have to go do it."

He was incredibly gracious. He even became one of my first coaching clients.

I set up a tiny office in what was basically our apartment's laundry room. 

I charged almost nothing. 

I coached my wife's friends, my mom's friends, anyone who would let me practice.

It was exciting and heartwarming but also really scary.

But for the first time in my life, I was doing work that felt aligned.

Sixteen years later, I’ve noticed something: many founders who are the most stuck aren't missing something outside of themselves.

They're simply choosing psychological safety over their authentic wants.

They know what needs to change (in their leadership, their company, their lives) but admitting it feels like stepping off a cliff.

The heart wants what the heart wants. But do you have the courage to follow it?

(Left: Startup2Startup Taped Webcast, 2012. Right: Recast Retreat Sonoma Summit, 2024)

"4 of the top 10 tech founders of all time by net worth attend Burning Man regularly. They've been going for 20 to 30 years."

That's what Gagan Biyani told me when we talked about why successful founders invest in inner work.

A lot of founders think they don't need this kind of thing.

But here's what Gagan found:

"It's actually pretty universal among the most successful founders."

"If you've been going to Burning Man for that long, you've done a lot of self-reflection and personal growth. It's impossible not to in that environment."

The reason?

"Eventually you realize that everything you're dealing with – whether it's a strategic challenge of where to take the company, or it's consistently bad COO hires, or whether it's dealing with a partner who doesn't want to partner with you but you're frustrated – all of these challenges can be improved through inner work."

"The more you understand yourself, the more you can regulate your emotions, the more you can make decisions without lack, the better you're going to perform and the happier you'll be."

"It doesn't give you that much of a better chance at product-market fit, but it does give you a much better chance at execution and strategy success."

"But it's not a direct thing. You do the personal growth, you're not going to feel better the next week. You just invest in it loosely over a very long period of time."

Gagan compared it to practicing soccer:

"I practice, practice, practice. Very often the week I have a great practice I don't have a great game. Or the week I have a great game I come back to practice and I screw it up. But I've been doing this practice-game rotation for 3 years now and the growth is unrecognizable. My dips today don't come anywhere close to where my game was when I started."

So how does Gagan say to practice as an entrepreneur?

"You spend $10,000 to $20,000 a year, roughly (obviously it scales up as you get more successful), and 4 to 10 days' worth of accumulated effort per year, every year, into just bettering yourself.

Over a long period of time, you'll see a night and day difference in how you show up and what your outcomes are across the board."

Gagan did exactly that by attending our first annual Sun Valley Founders Retreat last year.

The results from this kind of inner work?

His team retention went from 20% at Udemy and Sprig to over 50% at Maven.

"Maven has a chance to be the most stable and successful company of the three. And I'm enjoying myself so much more this time."

And a month after attending the retreat, here's what Gagan said:

"It was the single best personal development thing I've ever done on a time investment → ROI perspective. I still feel in a state of flow even to this day; it's been over a month since the retreat!"

If you'd like to see the same kind of transformation in both yourself and your company, the 2nd Annual Sun Valley Founders Retreat is happening this month (January 21-25). 

(Link in the comments)

"I am not an asshole." That's what I told myself for years. Then in a coaching session, I told a founder: "Bullshit. That's just not comfortable for you."

In that moment, I accessed a part of myself I'd spent decades denying.

And it was exactly what the situation called for.

Here's what I've seen after 16 years of coaching founders: 

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. 

When you deny these parts, you become behaviorally inflexible, only able to create certain outcomes because you only allow yourself to act in certain ways.

I share insights like this every week in my free newsletter along with practical tools for shadow work, behavioral flexibility, conscious leadership, and many more...

Which allows you to scale your startup and achieve extraordinary outcomes with more and more ease.

Link in the comments.

While we were negotiating the sale of my first startup, the 2008 financial crisis hit and Lehman Brothers collapsed.

The deal still went through. But the original price we'd negotiated? Gone.

After four years of 16-hour days, seven days a week, it wasn't the outcome I'd imagined.

And that broke something in me that had nothing to do with the money.

Because the real problem had started four years earlier.

When I started Wellsphere in 2005, I was 27, just out of Stanford Business School.

I'd taken out massive loans. Gone from making decent money in finance to two years of no income while spending hundreds of thousands on school.

I told everyone in my world I was starting a company.

And somewhere in that process, I tied the outcome to something much deeper:

If this fails, it won't just mean the startup failed. It will reveal that I'm unworthy.

Not "I made a mistake." Not "the timing was wrong."

I would be exposed as a failure.

So I felt more pressure to not fail than I did to succeed.

My co-founder was insistent that working around the clock was the key to success. And I bought in completely.

For four years, I worked 16-hour days, seven days a week. I felt like a zombie most of the time.

I couldn't think clearly and I was constantly exhausted.

My logic was simple: if I work as much as humanly possible, then I'll know I did everything I could.

I was trying to outrun a feeling of unworthiness through sheer effort.
And then the world fell apart.

I remember that Christmas, weeks after the deal closed. We were visiting my wife's (then-girlfriend's) family in Florida.

I just broke down and cried.

I was so fried. So trapped. I couldn't quit because that would mean failure. But staying was killing me.

Looking back now, I see what I couldn't see then:

I wasn't operating effectively. 

I was operating performatively.

All that grinding wasn't preventing failure, it was preventing the clarity I needed to succeed.

That was a brutal lesson for the younger version of me, because it took away the comforting illusion that:

If I just do everything right, I can control the outcome.

You can pour four years of your life into something…

And still have the world determine how it ends.

And if your identity is riding on the ending…

That's when it really breaks you.

Because now you're not just building a company.

You're trying to build proof that you are worthy as a person.

At some point as a founder you’ve likely experienced it being 3AM with your mind running worst case scenarios about your company's future.

It feels like you can't shut it off.

The investor who hasn't replied? Your mind says they're not interested.

The team member who missed a deadline? Your mind says they don't care.

The tired feeling when you wake up? Your mind says you're losing your edge.

Here's what most founders don't realize:

These aren't facts. They're stories.

And the voice narrating them? That's not you.

It's what I call the Storyteller Mind – a survival mechanism that interprets neutral facts through the lens of fear.

The problem is most founders think this narrator IS them. That it's speaking truth.

So they react to the stories instead of responding to reality.

This is why two founders can face the exact same setback (same investor pushback, same team friction, same market downturn) but have completely different experiences.

One spends three days catastrophizing.

The other makes a clear decision and moves forward.

The difference isn't the situation.

It's whether you can see the story for what it is.

Because here's what happens when you don't:

If you assume the worst → your team becomes fearful
If you catastrophize → your team becomes reactive
If you judge yourself harshly → your team feels like they're never enough

Your stories don't just affect you. They set the emotional climate for your entire company.

The founders of Instagram, Coinbase, Solana, and Fetch all learned to distinguish between what's actually happening and what their minds are making up about it.

That skill, being able to catch the Storyteller in the act, is one of the most underrated levers for unlocking your team's full potential.

And it's exactly what I break down in “The 5 Frameworks Unicorn Founders Use to Bring Out the Best in Themselves and Their Teams.”

You'll learn the exact 3-step process to separate yourself from the narrative, plus 4 other frameworks these founders use to lead with clarity instead of chaos.

Comment “Frameworks” and I’ll send you the guide.

The Sun Valley Founders Retreat kicks off one week from tomorrow (1/21 - 1/25).  We have an extraordinary group of founders (from seed to unicorns) flying in for a transformational four-day experience that will enable you to shed limiting patterns, lead from presence and love, and massively scale your business in 2026.  We’ll also create lifelong friendships, and have a ton of fun skiing and dining together. 

There is one spot open.  Message me asap if you feel called to join us.

A CEO I worked with knew her company culture had a problem and she was pretty sure it was her VP of Sales.

He delivered results, and the team consistently exceeded quota. But feedback from his team told a different story…

He was abrasive, demeaning, egotistical.

With her Series A approaching, she faced an impossible choice:

Keep the high-performer poisoning her culture…

Or fire him and risk looking unstable to investors.

When I asked her one question: "Are you just honoring your values, or are you standing for them too?

She realized the difference immediately.

Honoring your values means living them personally (that's the starting point).

Standing for your values means holding others accountable to them, even when it costs you something.

The CEO was honoring respect by being respectful herself. But she wasn't standing for respect, she was allowing her VP to disrespect others.

Before you can stand for your values with your team, you need to discover what they actually are. 

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀:

𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝟭: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 - Look at your closest relationships and the people you've most loved working with. What do you most value about them?

𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝟮: 𝗣𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗔𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗶𝘀 - When did you feel most energized and alive? What values were you honoring that made those moments stand out?

𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝟯: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗶-𝗩𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿 - What behaviors in others make you most angry? Your anger triggers reveal your deepest values.

𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝟰: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 "𝗡𝗼 𝗙𝗲𝗮𝗿" 𝗧𝗲𝘀𝘁 - What would you do if you weren't afraid? Fear often masks our true values. 

Once you have a list of potential values, narrow it down to 3-5 core values.

Then, for each value:

𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝟭-𝟭𝟬 on how well you currently honor each value. Where are the gaps?

𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗸𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴. What would you be willing to risk to uphold this value?

𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆, 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿𝘀. Netflix doesn't stop at "Honesty." They specify: "You only say things about fellow employees that you will say to their face."

After working through this process, the CEO let her VP go despite the risks to her fundraise.

The result? Team energy skyrocketed. Communication resumed. Investors were impressed by the accountability. She recruited a VP who was both talented and a culture fit.

The gap between her stated and lived values had been costing her far more than she realized. All in team morale, innovation, and business results.

Because until you know what you'll risk for your values, you don't actually have values. 

What you have are suggestions.

And your team can sense the difference.

Many founders talk about being stressed and overwhelmed as if it’s a good thing. It’s practically a badge of honor in startup culture. "I'm so busy and stressed, so I must be doing it right!"

But here's what's actually happening:

"𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗺" 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗲-𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿. 

What creates fear is imagining the future we don't want to happen. 

If you're standing at the edge of a cliff about to free fall 200 feet into a canyon, that's genuine, authentic, in-the-moment fear.

But most of us are just manufacturing fear all the time by imagining these futures we don't want to happen.

It's okay to say "I'm stressed out" or "I'm overwhelmed."

But saying "I'm scared"? That feels vulnerable. 

So we use the safer word.

But that safer word prevents us from dealing with what's underneath.

𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. 

And if that feeling is fear? It could feel scary to welcome and accept it because that would be dangerous.

So you stay busy. Keep your calendar packed. And create your own stress. 

Then when things get quiet and those feelings emerge again, you busy yourself again.

When clients show up saying they're "really stressed" or "really overwhelmed," I'll often try to help them identify the fear they're feeling underneath.

I'll just reflect back: "I hear that you're scared."

Just recognizing it as fear allows them to be scared without having to fix it. Their system almost calms down when they realize it.

And when you allow yourself to be scared without immediately trying to fix it, you notice you have so much more energy available because now you’re not spending it all on trying to manage your manufactured fear.

It allows you to feel much more clear.

And you realize you can just make choices based on what you actually want.

So next time you catch yourself feeling overextended and saying "I'm stressed" or "I'm overwhelmed," pause.

𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: What am I actually afraid of happening?

And see how you created your own experience of stress by trying to not let that happen. 

P.S. Here's me jumping off a 200ft cliff in Moab, UT

Be honest… how many times this month have you woken up at 3 or 4AM with your heart racing because your mind won't shut off?

You know the moment.

One second you're asleep. The next you're wide awake, replaying the same fears:

"What if we miss this quarter's targets?"
"What if that investor pulls out?" 
"What if my team can tell I'm not as confident as I look?"

You stare at the ceiling. You rehearse conversations. You fast-forward to disaster.
And by sunrise, you're exhausted before the day even starts.

Most founders assume this is just "stress" or "part of the job."

It's not.

This is what happens when your company grows faster than your capacity to hold the emotional weight of leading it.

Here's the pattern I see with nearly every high-growth founder:

When you expand your vision, raise more capital, grow your team, or take on bigger customers… the emotional intensity increases.

Fear rises. Self-doubt appears. Pressure grows. Uncertainty expands.

And when your emotional capacity doesn't grow with it, one of three things happens:

You shrink your vision (because you can't hold the emotional weight of a bigger one)
You escape into coping behaviors (overworking, overthinking, numbing, avoidance)
You collapse under pressure (overwhelm, shutdown, defensiveness)

Most founders misdiagnose these as performance issues.

They're not.

They're emotional capacity issues.

I have a client at $450M valuation, $40M ARR. He told me: "It's getting scarier. There's more intensity."

He'd built the capacity to handle a $25M Series A. But as the company scaled, the intensity increased and he hadn't expanded his capacity to match it.

Here's what most founders don't realize:

Your results are limited by which feelings you're unwilling to feel.

That tightness in your throat before the hard conversation? You avoid it.

That constriction in your belly when you need to fire someone? You delay it.

That panic when you imagine failing? You overwork to manage it instead of channeling that energy into building.

The more you resist the intensity, the more stuck you become.

But here's what changes when you learn to expand your capacity:

The intensity becomes your fuel, not a threat.

Uncertainty becomes creative space, not danger.

And Doubt simply becomes information, not something about your identity.

Elite founders haven't learned to feel less.

They've learned to feel more without shutting down.

That's the Law of Expanding Possibilities, and it's one of the 5 frameworks I teach in The 5 Frameworks Unicorn Founders Use to Bring Out the Best in Themselves and Their Teams.

Inside, you'll learn how to use your startup as your "emotional intensity gym" to strengthen your capacity

Because the intensity you're resisting at 3AM? That's not the problem.

It's your emotional edge. And your edge is where your next level of growth lives.

Comment “Frameworks” and I’ll send you the guide.

Have you ever thought about how long the feeling of winning lasts?

Once you achieve everything you're after, how long will that feeling be there until you go back to your baseline of how you're feeling right now?

Last week, three of my coaching clients sent me the same video. It was arguably the greatest living pro golfer Scottie Scheffler at a press conference before the Open Championship, where he'd just won his first Claret Jug – his fourth major championship. The reporter asked him about celebrating his wins.

His answer was brutally honest.

"I think it's kind of funny... It feels like you work your whole life to celebrate winning a tournament for a few minutes. It only lasts a few minutes, the euphoric feeling."

He went on: "You win, celebrate, hug my family... Such an amazing moment and then it's like what are we going to eat for dinner? Life goes on."

Two minutes. Maybe less.

So we're doing all this work – building companies, chasing exits, optimizing every metric – just to feel euphoric for a whole two minutes.

As depressing as that may sound… 

This can actually lead you to awakening to a more accurate view of reality that is both freeing and brings radical clarity.

Click below to read the full newsletter ⬇️

View newsletter: Inner Game of Entrepreneurship

Have you ever thought about how long the feeling of winning lasts? Once you achieve everything you're after, how long will that feeling be there until

Open article: What's the Point of All This? by Dave Kashen • 5 min read

The skill of conscious negotiation is one of the most important skills you could learn.

You use it to develop your team, to fundraise, with your cofounders, and even with your spouse, significant other or kids. Because everything in life is interpersonal.

But when one of my coaching clients comes to me with an interpersonal conflict, disagreement, or challenge that requires some form of negotiation, I often do something that catches them off guard.

I listen to their situation and their perspective. And instead of jumping in to help them solve it, I just say these two words:

"𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁."

Usually dumbfounded, they'll respond confused: "Prove... prove it's not fair?"

"Yes," I'll say, “prove it.”

They scramble for justification – the numbers, the work they've done, the value their partner hadn't created, specific circumstances.

But as we dig deeper, something becomes clear:

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲.

Because when you're focused on justifying why you're right, you can't uncover the real underlying issues.

Click below to read the full newsletter ⬇️

The skill of conscious negotiation is one of the most important skills you could learn. You use it to develop your team, to fundraise, with your cofou

Open article: Why Most Negotiations Fail Before They Begin by Dave Kashen • 5 min read

Why Most Negotiations Fail Before They Begin

"It felt like a weighted vest," a founder said during our IGE community call. "When I think about acquiring this business, there's this heavy, pressing down sensation on my chest."

He’s no rookie – smart, capable, with a strong track record. He'd done his homework. The deal made sense financially. His due diligence was solid. Yet something was stopping him.

I'd been noticing the same pattern across several founders in our IGE community calls. Smart entrepreneurs getting paralyzed by "fear" right before making the moves they wanted to make.

But here’s what I told him:

"What if I told you that fear and excitement move through the exact same physiological pathways in your body?"

Silence stretched across the Zoom call, until he spoke again:

"I... I actually do think there's excitement there too.."

That conversation highlighted something I've seen over and over again: 

We've been taught to see fear and excitement as opposites – when they're actually two sides of the same coin.

Click below to read the full newsletter ⬇️

"It felt like a weighted vest," a founder said during our IGE community call. "When I think about acquiring this business, there's this heavy, pressin

Open article: Your Fear Might Actually Be Excitement in Disguise by Dave Kashen • 5 min read

Your Fear Might Actually Be Excitement in Disguise

Most people think meditation only happens when sitting still, eyes closed, and listening to a guide telling you how to breathe or what to focus on.

But meditation isn’t limited to that.

It doesn’t require you to close your eyes and sit still.

You can meditate while you are on a walk…

While you are driving (be careful though!)...

While you are in a meeting…

And yes, you can even meditate while reading an email.

While meditation is a powerful practice, the most effective founders aren't the ones who meditate for 20 minutes every morning..

They're the ones who can find presence within the chaos.

The ones who can drop into awareness while walking to their next meeting, during a difficult conversation, or while reading their emails.

Most meditation practices pull you away from your life. But what if we could bring meditation into your life?

So today, I want to guide you through an experiment: As you read this, let it be a meditation.

A doorway back to presence, where all your creative energy resides.

So just for a couple minutes, set everything else aside to give this newsletter your undivided attention or save it for later when you can.

Click below to read the full newsletter ⬇️

Today’s newsletter is going to be a different one. Most people think meditation only happens when sitting still, eyes closed, and listening to a guide

Open article: Reading This Email is Meditation by Dave Kashen • 4 min read

Executive Coach | I guide ambitious professionals in midlife through transition and burnout.

A big experience, whether a retreat or ceremony, is just the pebble hitting the water.

Integration is each ripple after. It's the bridge between the experience, your real life, and new expressions of self.

Most people expect transformation right after the opening. That's what we often glamorize and pay for.

But that's not how deep change works. The ripples fade if you don't tend to the glimpse. Integration is an active process. It's a commitment to staying present as new layers and depths keep surfacing.

The more you stay with each ripple, the more they flow outward, revealing new truths and ways of being. They only stop if you do.

Stay with your process. The wisdom will keep unfolding.

Three hours before your board meeting, the loop begins.

Your stomach tightens. The presentation, already revised 15 times, suddenly feels all wrong.

"Will they approve of this strategy?"
"What if they question my decisions?"
"I need them to think I'm doing a good job."

And just like that, you've fallen into a psychological trap that's undermining your business: seeking approval.

Here's what it costs: 
You filter information to look good. 
You avoid candid conversations until problems become crises. 
You make decisions to please, not to progress.

When board members and investors hold perceived power over your company's future, your primitive brain categorizes them as "parents" who must be pleased to ensure your survival.

But there's a critical difference: Your board chose to back YOU. 

They're partners, not “parents”.

The founders who get the most respect from their stakeholders are often the ones who need it least.

Why? Because they're not seeking approval.

I call this the Stakeholder Meeting Paradox, and it works like this:

Founders seeking approval:
 • Spend 80% of meetings reporting past performance
 • Script presentations carefully
 • Avoid problems until solved
 • Rarely ask for help

Founders seeking partnership:
 • Spend 80% on future strategy
 • Speak authentically
 • Bring half-formed ideas for input
 • Share their biggest unknowns

The paradox is that the more you try to impress your stakeholders, the less valuable insight you extract from them – and the less impressive your actual results become.

Here is how you can shift from Seeking Approval to Creating Value:

1. Shift Your Mindset: They're Partners, Not Parents

Before interactions, remind yourself: "These are my partners in building this company."

They invested because they believe in your vision. They're there to help you win.

2. Lead with Candor, Not Impression Management

Practice speaking unarguably:

Facts: "Our CAC increased 30% this quarter"
Feelings: "I feel concerned about this trend"
Stories: "I'm wondering if our strategy isn't resonating"
Wants: "I'd like us to explore alternatives"

This creates space for genuine collaboration.

3. Ask for What You Actually Need

Stop trying to get validation. Start extracting value.

Before meetings:
What expertise could they offer?
What connections might they share?
What perspective am I missing?

Then ask directly: "Given your experience scaling operations, how would you approach this?"

When you stop seeing stakeholder meetings as just performance reviews and start seeing them as strategy sessions, everything changes.

You tap into the true value of your investors. 
You make clearer, bolder decisions. 
You build authentic relationships based on mutual respect.

And perhaps most importantly, you reclaim the energy previously drained by approval-seeking and redirect it toward building your vision.

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