Evan Patterson 💅🏻

Hire Me & Win In The Attention Economy💥 I Help Founders & Startups Grow Audiences 🔥 Ghostwriting • Personal Branding • Social Selling • Community Marketing • Content Strategy • B2B Influencers • Affiliate Programs

👋🏻 You should really click the "...see more" button over there. 👉🏻

😉

I’m Evan Patterson.

Fractional CMO. Personal CMO.
LGBTQ+. AuDHD. Two cats who have main-character energy and paperwork opinions.
Metro Detroit-raised, Chicago-thriving, seeking a EU-husband for dual citizenship (kind of not joking...)

A small but vocal group of humans — plus my mother — call me the Joan Rivers of Marketing. I didn’t ask for that title, but I also didn’t give it back.

My work focuses on helping founders, CEOs, and operators stop sounding like they were assembled by committee. When people understand you quickly, everything gets easier: sales, hiring, partnerships, even that awkward moment when someone pretends they’ve heard of your company before.

My entire approach runs on feral specificity.
Egregiously unique. Audaciously effective.
Ideas with teeth. Narratives with posture. Writing that doesn’t need a spotlight to command attention.

I work in two lanes.

Evan Patterson Consulting
The Fractional CMO lane.

This is where companies finally get a marketing function that isn’t held together by vibes, hope, and a Google Doc last updated during the pandemic. I rebuild the structure, the sequencing, and the decisions that keep revenue steady instead of seasonal.

The second lane
The executive identity work.

Voice extraction. Narrative architecture. Brand presence that doesn’t wobble when the market does. There’s more coming in this lane; something I’m building quietly; and it’s shaping the way I help leaders show up with clarity and actual gravitational pull.

I build systems with staying power.
I build brands people remember without squinting.
I build marketing that earns attention because it deserves attention.

People who work well with me tend to appreciate speed, accuracy, and a sense of humor about the chaos they built before I arrived. People who want a polite museum tour of marketing usually exit early.

My goal is consistent: make you unmistakable.

Fractional Content & Community Marketing Leader

Ditch the gift cards, scrap the underutilized benefits package, and focus on the individuals in your organization instead.

Companies looking to improve performance and retention should care about helping people get further faster towards what matters most in their life. We make this easy with tools to create personalized incentives, meaningful recognition & self-defined benefits that help their people unlock "sacred funds" towards their personal life goals.

Employee Motivation Simplified.

Evan Patterson

A lot of people call activity “strategy.”

Posting more.
Launching faster.
Adding channels.
Buying tools.

That’s not strategy. That’s motion.

Strategy is choosing what not to do.
What you will ignore.
What you will say no to even when it looks shiny.

Most teams don’t lack ideas.
They lack the discipline to choose one direction and live with it long enough for it to work.

“He’s the Joan Rivers of Marketing” - Someone Online ✨ Fractional CMO for Companies 😎 Personal CMO for the Ambitious🏆 Egregiously Unique, Audaciously Effective, Feral Specificity

Your brand should feel inevitable.

Not trendy.
Not clever.
Not loud.

Inevitable.

Like it couldn’t have been anything else.
Like it makes sense the moment someone encounters it.

That feeling doesn’t come from aesthetics.
It comes from alignment, restraint, and knowing exactly who you are building for.

Marketing for Fractional Execs & Founder-led Companies | Fractional CMO for Founder-led Startups | Personal CMO for the Self-Employed | “He’s the Joan Rivers of Marketing” - my ex boss

Starting and developing successful International business for SaaS Startups and Innovative Tech Companies | Growth Leader | Revenue Enabler | GTM strategist and practitioner | A GROWER of business...

An All-Road Monster-Truck (Revenue Machine) to drive your business throughout the dust, fog and uncertainty of the post-COVID economy into sustainable growth. Safe and just in time delivery of business objectives without fines and unplanned Pit Stops. Equipped with Visionary Leadership core (engine), Four-band emerging markets Navigation, Augmented Knowledge & In-memory Experience, and fueled with an unstoppable passion to bring value and convert revenue dreams into reality. Equipped with the verified license plate - “In George we Trust”.

Seasoned professional, experienced in SaaS/ PaaS / IaaS, Cloud Services, Intelligent Workflow & Process Automation, Digital Transformation, Sales and Marketing automation, Broadcast and Content Distribution solutions, Digital Marketing Automation, Mobile Apps and Digital Services monetization, Enterprise Software, Complex IT Solutions, Application & Technology Consulting, Retail and eCommerce automation, Financial Services Automation, Industrial Automation, Service Management (incl. Servitalization, Valuation, Predictive Maintenance & Analytics, AI & ML solutions), IT Advisory & Management Consulting, Consultative & Solutions selling on B2B, B2C, b2b2c & B2G  - successful international business development and regional expansion, creating sustainable revenue streams, strategic accounts management, client acquisition & management, effective sales territory teams management, partner’s acquisition and enablement, effective ecosystem’s creation, sales strategies development (planning, enablement and realization), Go-To-Market (GTM) strategies planning and execution, complex consultative & value-based selling, marketing and brand management, social selling, winning negotiations and contract management, projects and programs management. Hands-on Sales Leader and exceptional Business Developer who can drive significant business growth, manage team development and growth, efficient customer interaction, and driving outstanding results with current customers while aggressively increasing market-share by winning new customers. True A-Player that translates business strategies into profitable business practice.

Specialties: GTM and Strategic Planning, International Business Development, Regional expansion, Sales Teams Leadership, Sales Management, Remote and Hybrid Teams Management, Customer Acquisition, Customer Retention, Customer Interaction, Customer Success, Customer Experience Management, New Business Development, Product Led Growth (PLG), Bid & Proposal Management, Contract management and negotiations, Client management.

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The Battle

Evan Patterson

George Touryliov ✔

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taplio

The Battle

Evan Patterson

George Touryliov ✔

Followers

Posts

Engagements

Likes

Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}Evan Patterson's LinkedIn Performance

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