Evan Patterson 💅🏻

Hire Me & Win In The Attention Economy💥 I Help Founders & Startups Grow Audiences 🔥 Ghostwriting • Personal Branding • Social Selling • Community Marketing • Content Strategy • B2B Influencers • Affiliate Programs

👋🏻 You should really click the "...see more" button over there. 👉🏻

😉

I’m Evan Patterson.

Fractional CMO. Personal CMO.
LGBTQ+. AuDHD. Two cats who have main-character energy and paperwork opinions.
Metro Detroit-raised, Chicago-thriving, seeking a EU-husband for dual citizenship (kind of not joking...)

A small but vocal group of humans — plus my mother — call me the Joan Rivers of Marketing. I didn’t ask for that title, but I also didn’t give it back.

My work focuses on helping founders, CEOs, and operators stop sounding like they were assembled by committee. When people understand you quickly, everything gets easier: sales, hiring, partnerships, even that awkward moment when someone pretends they’ve heard of your company before.

My entire approach runs on feral specificity.
Egregiously unique. Audaciously effective.
Ideas with teeth. Narratives with posture. Writing that doesn’t need a spotlight to command attention.

I work in two lanes.

Evan Patterson Consulting
The Fractional CMO lane.

This is where companies finally get a marketing function that isn’t held together by vibes, hope, and a Google Doc last updated during the pandemic. I rebuild the structure, the sequencing, and the decisions that keep revenue steady instead of seasonal.

The second lane
The executive identity work.

Voice extraction. Narrative architecture. Brand presence that doesn’t wobble when the market does. There’s more coming in this lane; something I’m building quietly; and it’s shaping the way I help leaders show up with clarity and actual gravitational pull.

I build systems with staying power.
I build brands people remember without squinting.
I build marketing that earns attention because it deserves attention.

People who work well with me tend to appreciate speed, accuracy, and a sense of humor about the chaos they built before I arrived. People who want a polite museum tour of marketing usually exit early.

My goal is consistent: make you unmistakable.

Fractional Content & Community Marketing Leader

Ditch the gift cards, scrap the underutilized benefits package, and focus on the individuals in your organization instead.

Companies looking to improve performance and retention should care about helping people get further faster towards what matters most in their life. We make this easy with tools to create personalized incentives, meaningful recognition & self-defined benefits that help their people unlock "sacred funds" towards their personal life goals.

Employee Motivation Simplified.

Evan Patterson

Working Mom in Tech • Startup Scaler • Mentor • Community Activist • 1 IPO • 4 Acquisitions

I’ve always believed that business is deeply human. For more than 15 years, I’ve helped SaaS teams grow from idea to impact, not just through process and playbooks, but through trust, empathy, and connection. Strategy matters, but people make it work.

I’ve lived through the highs of IPOs, the uncertainty of acquisitions, and everything in between. What’s stayed constant is the belief that real success starts with connection and that when people feel seen, supported, and inspired, growth naturally follows. It’s what sustains teams through change and ultimately transforms good companies into great ones.

Culture creates consistency. 

Curiosity sparks innovation. 

Empathy builds trust. 

I’m at my strongest when uniting teams across sales and success, leading change with clarity, and helping others see what’s possible.

Outside of work, I’m first and foremost a mom. Motherhood shaped my why, it’s where I learned that growth, grace, and grit can coexist, and that the best way to lead is with both strength and heart.

I'm also deeply invested in my community. As Vice Chair of the San Mateo Parks & Recreation Commission, I advise City Council on current and long-term initiatives that make our city more vibrant, inclusive, and sustainable. And through Team Up to Clean Up, a volunteer program I founded in partnership with the City of San Mateo and Public Works, I organize monthly cleanups that bring neighbors together to keep our streets and  neighborhoods beautiful.

Community work keeps me grounded, it’s where collaboration meets purpose and reminds me why connection matters just as much outside the office as it does within it.

My purpose is simple: connect deeply, lead boldly, and leave every person, team, and community better than I found them.

taplio

The Battle

Evan Patterson

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