Meghann Misiak

I work with top SaaS sellers who have outworked, out-hustled, and out-performed. But are now looking for something deeper...
 
→ Real relationships vs transactional sales calls
→ Driving real impact vs. competing with buyers
→ Feeling fulfilled vs. drained by your career
 
If that’s you, welcome. You’re not alone.
 
And luckily, there are better ways to sell… and to LIVE.
 
I’m Meg, aka That Sales Witch 🔮
 
Yes, I have 10+ years of sales, leadership, & enablement experience working with companies like Blend, Movable Ink, Deel, & Hubspot.
 
But my real magic?
 
→  Making buyers feel safe enough to say yes.
→ Helping sellers manage energy as much as pipeline.
→ Moving through every deal with clarity, confidence, & presence.
→ And a little sales therapy… working through blocks, recognizing patterns, & breaking through performance plateaus.
 
Because my strategy isn’t a script. It’s a state of mind.
 
Deeper focus.
Sharper boundaries.
Authentic influence.
 
And helping you WIN MORE and WORK LESS.
 
Bc the reward should never be working more... 
It should be having more time for the things that really matter.
 Your life, your family, your hobbies, your dreams (and hint... no one's actual dream is hitting quota).
 
Here are ways I’ve helped clients win (check out my testimonials for more):
 
🏆 Doubled win rate in 1 year
🏆 Increased av. deal size by $100k in 3 months
🏆 Sold biggest deal in company’s history
🏆 Hit #1 seller in company… multiple years in a row
🏆 Featured on conference stages & pods like 30 Min to President’s Club
 
And also...
 
- Closing laptop by 6pm most days
- Waking up an hour early to meditate & make breakfast for the kids
- Having enough free time to build a banjo & prepare a DJ set for the radio
- Lowering stress levels & finally feeling present with partner & family
 
This is the stuff that really matters.
 
If these sound like goals you can get behind, feel free to book a no-pressure consult with me to explore.
 
And a tiny bit about me as a human:
 
📍 Based in Mexico City
😸 Lover of cats, scented candles, & iced matcha lattes
🔮 Addicted to healing &amp; reader of palms, auras, & tarot
📚 Obsessed w magical realism, witchy queer fiction, & yeah a lot of self-help

Director of Enterprise Sales

Working to help the New Retirement team & our clients find new levels of success through elite, enterprise sales strategies at an organizational level. Building a team & results that are predictable, scalable, & repeatable. Maintaining the organization's incredible culture while redefining what's possible.

Meghann Misiak 🔮

The most annoying corporate words of 2025… and what to replace them with in 2026.
 
 
Because if I hear “synergy” one more time, I’m launching myself into the sun.

🤗  

2025: Low-Hanging Fruit
2026 replacement: Snackable Wins
"Can we start by identifying some snackable wins? My pipeline is hangryyy."

2025: Touching Base
2026 replacement: Energetic Poke-Poke
“Just giving the project a lil poke-poke to see if it’s alive.”

2025: Synergy
2026 replacement: Mutually Assured Slay-age
“Looping you in because this collab could trigger Mutually Assured Slay-age across the entire team.”

2025: Take This Offline
2026 replacement: Send It to the Shadow Realm
“Let’s send this convo to the Shadow Realm before it consumes the whole meeting.”

2025: Move the Needle
2026 replacement: Nudge the Cosmic Playlist
“Let me know what you need from me to nudge the cosmic playlist on this one.”

2025: Quick Sync
2026 replacement: Chaotic Alignment Sprint
“Let’s run a Chaotic Alignment Sprint before this project fully flies into the sun.”

2025: Bandwidth
2026 replacement: Emotional WiFi
“Sorry, my emotional WiFi is running on one bar today.”

💜 

Try these out with your own teams & let me know which one is their favorite!

F*ck Hustle Culture | Crush Your Quota, Not Your Soul | That Sales Witch l Coaching Top Sellers to Win More & Work Less | Big Fan of Flowers, Fiction, & Cat Content

I love taking a break from using LinkedIn on my computer...
 
 
 
 

 
To sit back & open LinkedIn on my phone.

🤳

My brain at 2am: “Remember that time in 3rd grade when you called your teacher "mom"?”
 
 
 
 

My brain at 2pm: can’t remember my own password.

🫠

I finally wrote about that strange, magical identity crisis that happens after burnout.


New newsletter is live.

Come read if you’ve been unraveling too. 💜

View newsletter: Letters to My Burned Out Self

(And.... who you become when you stop chasing it.) ✨ For most of my life, I carried the title high performer like a talisman. My entire life was cente

Open article: The Myth of the High Performer by Meghann Misiak 🔮 • 4 min read

Signs your job is quiet-quitting you.
 
 
 
If you’ve ever felt that eerie feeling of “something is off” at work but couldn’t articulate it...

Here are a few signs that your JOB is failing you.

Not the other way around.

🙅‍♀️ 

→ Your 1:1s keep getting canceled or shortened to 7 min of nothing.
→ You only hear from leadership when something goes wrong.
→ Your ideas “don’t fit the priorities”… until someone else suggests them.
→ You’re called "a team player” but never get support yourself.
→ You’re doing three different jobs… & getting paid for one.
→ You stop getting feedback (both good & bad)
→ Metrics change monthly, but expectations stay sky-high.
→ You dread simple tasks you used to enjoy & feel disillusioned.
→ You stop chasing accomplishments bc no one celebrates them anyway.
→ You’re told to “be patient” while watching others leapfrog ahead.
→ The culture's shifted but leadership pretends like everything's ok.
→ Decisions come down from “the top” & no one can explain the logic.
→ You feel more like a resource than a human... useful until you’re not.

🙈 

In these situations, you’re no longer growing.

At some point, you gotta shift from “What’s wrong with me?”

To “What part of me is shrinking to fit this role?”

That’s when the real magic starts.

🔮

Hi, I’m Meg aka That Sales Witch. I help sellers win more & work less. Follow for more unfiltered magic.

Is healing from burnout the ultimate anti-aging secret?!?!? 
 
 

I was looking through old photos with my fiancé & he randomly goes:

“Uhhh… why do you look YOUNGER now?”

And honestly? He’s kinda right.

😅 
 
Back then I was “thriving”

Winning awards, posing with trophies, popping champagne like a girl boss on a mission.

But behind the smiles...

→ Eye bags for days
→ Skin dry enough to exfoliate a brick
→ Posture that looks more like performance
→ Hair dyinggg under all the bleach 

🫠 

And sure, I upgraded my skincare… (thanks k-beauty) but this was something DEEPER.

Back then I was surviving, not living.

After 5 years of recovering from burnout...

→ My nervous system is actually regulated.
→ I rest... regularly.
→ I'm not sprinting for validation 24/7.
→ My life supports my body instead of breaking it.

And apparently?

My face noticed.

Anyone else familiar with the pure GLOW that comes from healing??

💜

Hi, I’m Meg aka That Sales Witch. I help sellers win more & work less. Follow for more unfiltered magic.

Anyone here for more *witchiness* at corporate events?
 
 
I know I am. But I'm a bit biased.

😈 

If you're looking for something different than another generic team-building event that everyone complains about...

Give your team something they’ll remember for YEARS.

It's called The Energy Audit.

→ Aura portraits
→ Energy analysis
→ Nervous system insights
→ Real conversations

Imagine an experience people talk about instead of “politely survive.”

Corporate events just got a whole lot more MAGICAL.

💜 

Currently booking for 2026!

Here are my favorite ways to regulate my nervous system + stay present in every moment...
 
 
 
Bc every well-regulated witch has an entire *toolkit* of rituals!

→ Morning meditation + breathwork + reiki
→ Mapping out key priorities for each day
→ Walks in the sun to get matcha lattes
→ Lighting incense & calling it aromatherapy
→ Color-coding my calendar by priority (duh)
→ Mindful Mondays & Flow or Follow-Up Fridays
→ Bi-weekly therapy (somatic + parts)
→ Cortisol-lowering 30-min meal prep
→ ADHD & chakra playlists for work sessions
→ Kitty snuggles aka avoiding slaps w murder mittens

And taking long walks around the city to snap pics of the prettiest flowers I can find.

It's rituals like this that allow me to not only FEEL good... 

But to do my very best work.

🌞 

What about y'all? 

What are your favorite rituals to feel your best?

If you want your sellers to communicate better + build trust quicker… start with their energy.
 
 
Not just their scripts.
Not just their talk tracks.
Not another mandatory training.

When people see how they’re actually showing up (grounded, anxious, disconnected, or open)...

They shift faster than any coaching session could ever force.

The Energy Audit is my new favorite enablement tool.

And yes… it works.

taplio