Non-wanky SEO and SEO Content. They say you can't know Technical SEO AND copywriting - I can. And do.

You're probably only here to see what type of person uses the word 'wanky' in a business profile, and that's OK.

===

I help B2B business owners get found on Google with non-wanky SEO. Because there's a lot of wanky SEO advice out there. I explain it in proper English, I don't promise miracles, and I won't try to sell you a course on optimising for traffic sources that account for less than 1% of your visitors.

If you're fed up with SEO advice that makes your brain hurt, I've spent 30 years learning what works and what's complete bollocks. While everyone else is losing their minds over AI search or "GEO" , I'm over here focusing on the stuff that brings in actual traffic and actual enquiries..

WHAT I OFFER:

♦️On-page and technical SEO for businesses that need to show up in Google searches that matter. From £750

♦️SEO copywriting for websites and blogs. The kind that brings in leads, not just people who click away after three seconds. From £450

♦️The Non-Wanky SEO Course (£750, payment schedules available) if you want to learn this stuff properly without someone talking at you like you're five.

♦️The Non-Wanky On-Page SEO Toolkit (£200, payment schedules available) for the quick wins you can sort out yourself.

♦️The SEO Fucking What? Newsletter - weekly -  and Podcast, where I spend 15 minutes a week ranting about whatever's currently annoying me in the SEO world (and telling you what to do instead). Free.

WHAT I WON'T DO:

♦️Promise you'll be ranking number one by next Tuesday.

♦️Charge you hundreds for tactics I could explain in ten minutes.

♦️Talk in jargon when normal words exist.

♦️Take your money if I don't think I can help.

My mornings start with SE Ranking and Google Search Console, because guessing is for people who like wasting money, and data is where the insights come from.

I've been doing this since before SEO was even called SEO, and I can tell you what drives traffic versus what gets sold in flashy courses that cost £3000.

Whether you need someone to sort out your SEO, want to learn it yourself, or just need to know why Google's ignoring your website, drop me a message.

Fair warning: if you don't need my help, I'll tell you that too.

Nikki Pilkington

Website Owner: "We made the URLs more SEO friendly."

Me: "How?"

Website Owner: "Changed them from stuff like /page123 to proper words. /services, /about-us, that kind of thing."

Me: "Good idea. Where do the old URLs redirect to?"

Website Owner: "What do you mean?"

Me: "If someone clicks an old link, or Google tries to crawl the old URLs, where do they go?"

Website Owner: "They'd go to the old page."

Me: "The old page doesn't exist anymore. You changed the URLs."

Website Owner: "..."

Me: "So they go nowhere?"

Website Owner: "I suppose."

Me: "Every backlink you've ever earned. Every page Google had indexed. Every link from your social posts. All pointing to pages that don't exist."

Website Owner: "But the new URLs are better."

Me: "..."

#SEOFuckUps2026

non-wanky SEO. Yes, non-wanky. Yes, I know - it’s OK if I’m not for you. Thanks.

Me: "What happened to your website?"

Website Owner: "My nephew made some updates."

Me: "What kind of updates?"

Website Owner: "He knows about websites. Does it at college."

Me: "What did he change?"

Website Owner: "Just tidied a few things up."

Me: "Your H1s are gone. Your meta titles all say 'Home.' Half your pages are returning 404s. And your site's running on a theme from 2014."

Website Owner: "He said it looked better."

Me: "You've lost 60% of your traffic."

Website Owner: "He only charged us fifty quid."

Me: "..."


#SEOFuckUps2026

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?

...

RIGHT?

#LinkedInFuckups2026

Website Owner: "We deleted our case studies."

Me: "Why?"

Website Owner: "They were a few years old. Made us look outdated."

Me: "How many?"

Website Owner: "Twelve of them."

Me: "Were they ranking for anything?"

Website Owner: "I don't know. Maybe?"

Me: "Did you check before you deleted them?"

Website Owner: "..."

Me: "Did you redirect them to anything?"

Website Owner: "No, they're just gone."

Me: "So twelve pages of real project examples, with client names, locations, and industry terms that Google loved..."

Website Owner: "Gone."

Me: "Because the dates looked old."

Website Owner: "We were going to write new ones."

Me: "When?"

Website Owner: "..."

#SEOFuckUps2026

Some people really don't like women, do they?

Someone (who shall remain un-named unless he wants to out himself) put one of my LinkedIn posts into an AI system and asked it if it was written by AI or human. 

Obviously (thankfully!) it said it was human. 

I tried it myself - put the same post he mentioned into ChatGPT to see what it said. 

It said the things that made my post human were:

1) Consistently strong voice and personality
2) Messy, uneven rhythm
3) Specific, unglamorous metaphors
4) Genuine motive mixed with mild self-sabotage*
5) Tone consistency with personality, not “brand voice”

My un-named "checker of posts to see if they're AI but not in a bad way" then tried to get AI to use the things it had said made my post human to write him a similar (he used the word copy, I'm being nice) post - and it couldn't. In his words, "it was bad".

And honestly, I should probably be annoyed by the fact he even bothered checking in the first place, and should definitely be annoyed by him trying to use my post to get one of his own, but I just find the whole thing kind of amusing. 

Because if AI can't copy me, and people feel the need to try to copy me, then I guess I'm doing something right, right?



*Genuine Motive Mixed With Mild Self-Sabotage is going to be the title of my autobiography one day.

I can't tag the person involved as he has blocked me, and even naming him made LinkedIn remove the post as harassment, so, you wonderful people will have to comment or DM me to find out who it is.

Please DON'T tell any one that the person I am speaking about is an idiotic plagiarist who copied every word of at least 2 of my posts (I mean who leaves the hashtag that only I'm using in the post FFS?).

Oh, and also, DON'T think that him pouting and blocking me because I refused his connection request is a bit childish.

Oh, and then writing a post about me, thinking no-one would send it to me - DON'T automatically assume that he's a bit of a twit. (I do see the irony, yes.) 

Oh, and as I don't use AI to write my LinkedIn posts, DON'T assume that him claiming that he got the exact same words because we both used AI is a lie, because it must be possible for that to happen (it's not).

Oh, and DON'T think anyone is a coward for deleting his plagiarised posts, especially not him.

(Finally, and I'm serious here - FEEL FREE to think I am stupid in so very many ways, but please DON'T ever, ever call me a fucking guru.)

#LinkedInFuckups2026
#SEOFuckups2026
#StupidSEOGurus

P.S. Probably best NOT to repost this, or click the hashtags above to find out who it is.

Did you make your whole site password protected "just while we made a few updates"?

For six weeks?

Google tried to crawl your site. Got a login page. Assumed your site was gone. Dropped your pages from the index.

The updates look great though.

#SEOFuckUps2026

Did you add pop-ups to every page to "capture more leads" and now your site takes 12 seconds to load?

Google stopped waiting after 3 seconds. So did your visitors.

But hey, at least that newsletter sign-up box nobody wanted is working great.

#SEOFuckUps2026

Google chaos (again zzz), pages that earn nothing but still matter, and the GEO rant that made a few people uncomfortable.

Hey hey! Google's been having another wobbly week. Rankings jumping around, visibility shifting, the usual chaos that happens more often than not thes

Open article: Google wobbles, zero-traffic pages, and why I'm disappointed in SEOs by Nikki Pilkington • 3 min read

Google wobbles, zero-traffic pages, and why I'm disappointed in SEOs

"You know what Google needs? To be a different colour. Not better documentation for website owners. Not AI results in GSC, oh no, not those useful things.  Colour options, that's what we want."

said no-one ever...

Open article: Google Search - Add Splash Of Color by f.mtr.cool

Want your website to bring in steady enquiries and sales – naturally and consistently?

Hi, I’m Hazel, an award-winning SEO consultant with 20+ years’ experience in website optimisation and development. I specialise in ethical, human-first SEO that helps service-based business owners, coaches, and consultants attract their ideal clients with ease and confidence.

I know SEO can feel complex (and sometimes a little shady), but it doesn’t have to be that way. My approach is all about clarity, integrity, and long-term results – no gimmicks, no shortcuts, no panic every time Google updates its algorithm.

➨ Why ethical SEO?

Because you deserve results that last.

Ethical SEO means putting people first – creating valuable, trustworthy content and a strong technical foundation so your website earns visibility naturally. It’s SEO that builds credibility, not stress.

If you’re tired of being stuck on the marketing hamster wheel – constant posting, endless networking, awkward cold DMs – I get it. There’s a better, calmer way to grow.

➨ Imagine this…

✔️ Your dream clients search for your service — and find you, not your competitors
✔️ Your website quietly attracts leads and sales, even when you’re offline
✔️ You grow your business with more ease, focus, and confidence

For over 14 years, I’ve helped hundreds of solo, small, and medium-sized businesses achieve exactly that through clear, actionable SEO strategies.

➨ How I can help:

1️⃣ Done-for-You SEO:
A complete, ethical SEO service that improves rankings, attracts ideal clients, and keeps your site performing at its best – while you focus on running your business.

2️⃣ SEO Audit & Strategy:
A detailed audit and tailored roadmap showing exactly how to strengthen your visibility, traffic, and conversions — so you can take confident, strategic action.

➨ Ready to Get Started?
It all begins with a friendly, no-pressure chat.

📩 DM me here on LinkedIn or email me at hazel@seo-plus.co.uk

🟣 Free Resource: Grab my SEO Checklist – the essential steps to optimise your site and attract more of the right clients - https://www.seo-plus.co.uk/seo-resources/

➨ A few words from happy clients:
💬 "Hazel’s SEO work has contributed to excellent sales and traffic growth." – YouBoat Marine
💬 "We’ve gone from obscurity to consistent leads and sales." – Freight Forwarders
💬 "Best investment I’ve made in my business." – Feet By Pody, London

Hazel Jarrett

It’s been a while since I did one of these, and January feels like the perfect time for a little re-introduction or a hello, if we've not yet met. 
So, here’s 10 things about me:

👋 Hi, I’m Hazel! I'm an ethical SEO consultant based in Devon and founder of SEO +. I work with therapists, coaches and creative professionals to e-commerce brands, local service providers and SMEs all over the UK.

💜 I’m happiest when family is around the table, food is flowing, and the evening turns into games, laughter, and “just one more”.

🎱 I love playing pool. I played competitively aeons ago, now you’ll usually find me at our garden pub table on a Friday evening.

🎨 Painting is my hobby. I've recently rediscovered acrylics, and it’s the perfect way to spend a couple of hours switching off.

🏖️ Beaches are my happy place. If the sun’s out, you’ll find me by the sea.

🎶 I love live music – big gigs, small local venues, all of it. (Foo Fighters, Green Day, Fleetwood Mac, Guns N Roses, and Pearl Jam have been a few highlights.)

💪 I lift weights most weekdays, to keep me moving, sane, and sleeping better.

📚 I’m a big reader, especially crime thrillers. Got a recommendation? I’m all ears.

🚀 Most of my clients come to me feeling frustrated because their websites aren’t doing their job. I help them rank higher, attract the right people, and get enquiries that feel exciting... basically, helping their business work better for them.

⚖️ I care a lot about work supporting life, not taking it over... for me and for my clients

Work-wise, I help businesses of all sizes to thrive online - achieving greater visibility, connection, and success through ethical, people-first SEO.

If you’ve read this far, I’d love to hear three things YOU love in the comments.

I’m enjoying making more genuine connections and can’t wait to hear a bit about you.

#intropost #EthicalSEO #seosupport #meetthemaker

 Image shows Hazel in Zante last summer.

Ethical SEO for business owners who want reliable leads, higher visibility and less marketing faff. If your website needs to step up and bring in more clients, I’m here – drop me a DM.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas time. 

I mostly took two weeks off, spending much of it with family and friends - eating too much, playing board games, exploring local beaches… and maybe a little more prosecco than intended! 

Now we’re all easing back into work, it’s the perfect time to think about what you want your business to look like in 2026.

If “better Google rankings” and “more of the right clients” are on your list, I’ve got you. 

I’ve put together a no-fluff SEO Resource Hub to help you start the year strong. 

It includes:
- The 10-minute homepage fix that helps attract the right clients
- 21 actionable steps to boost rankings, attract your ideal audience, and increase sales
- Content ideas to build trust, showcase your expertise, and win clients

You can find them via the 🔗 in the comments. ⤵️

And if you’d like hands-on support making this work for your business, just give me a shout (or send me a DM).

Here’s to a focused, exciting 2026.

“Congrats on reaching 6K clicks in 28 days!”

It’s great seeing those numbers increase.

It’s even better knowing that my client is fully booked because most of those clicks came from the right audience.

High numbers are nice, but results that actually matter are much better.

What would it mean for your business if most of the clicks to your website brought in the right clients or customers?

“Your Current SEO Strategy Won’t Work in 2026.”
“Why You Need AI SEO Now.”

Are you seeing these headlines everywhere, too?

- I’m going to say it plainly: they’re nonsense.

You don’t need a shiny new strategy.

You don’t need “AI SEO”.

SEO for AI is the same SEO it’s always been.

If you want to show up in Google, AI search, or whatever comes next, the fundamentals still matter most.

 - Clarity over cleverness.
 - Depth over volume.
 - Content built around real questions, real experience, and real people, not algorithms.

What has changed is the tolerance for fluff.

Generic content, recycled takes, and vague advice are being filtered out faster than ever.

What cuts through now?

- Specific insight. 
- Clear positioning. 
- Evidence that you actually know your stuff.

No panic pivots. No trend chasing. No shortcuts that quietly disappear six months later.
 
Just thoughtful, intentional SEO that compounds over time.

If you’d like my support with this, so your website attracts the right people, builds trust, and brings you work that actually fits, send me a message.

I’m an introvert.

Anyone else?

I like people.
I’m just not always great at lots of people, all at once, with small talk and selling layered on top.

Networking events?
When I go, I usually spend the first 10 minutes wondering where to stand, what to do with my hands, and how long feels “polite” before leaving.

And social media?
I don’t love having to show up constantly, sell loudly, or pretend I’m more extroverted than I am.

This is one of the reasons I genuinely love what I do.

A good website doesn’t need confidence, energy, or daily posting.
It doesn’t get tired.
It doesn’t feel awkward.
It just quietly shows up and does the job.

When your website is clear, findable, and attracting the right people, the heavy lifting happens before you ever speak to someone.

No cold DMs.
No forced conversations.
No “selling yourself” on repeat.

Just aligned enquiries landing in your inbox from people who already get what you do.

For introverts (and tired extroverts too), that kind of quiet consistency is a bit of a godsend.

If this resonates, and you’d like your website to do more of the work for you, feel free to drop a comment or connect and send a DM - no awkward sales chat required.

Inspired by Lisa Barry's #OneDayOneChallengeOneTask - mission-led marketing without the shouty, salesy vibes.

taplio

The Battle

Nikki Pilkington

Hazel Jarrett

Followers

Posts

Engagements

Likes

Performance ScoreNikki Pilkington's LinkedIn Performance

Performance ScoreHazel Jarrett's LinkedIn Performance

Ready to grow your LinkedIn presence?

taplio

The Battle

Nikki Pilkington

Hazel Jarrett

Followers

Posts

Engagements

Likes

Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}Nikki Pilkington's LinkedIn Performance

Performance ScoreHazel Jarrett's LinkedIn Performance

Ready to grow your LinkedIn presence?

Performance ScoreNikki Pilkington's LinkedIn Performance