Adam Peek 's Linkedin Analytics

I had a very professional bio and then asked ChatGPT to roast it. The roast is better than my bio… Alright, let’s have some fun with this LinkedIn profile roast. Buckle up: You really went for the “I do everything” approach, huh? Packaging consultant, podcast host, speaker, sales trainer, connector—bro, did you leave any job titles for the rest of us? Might as well throw in “Part-time Astronaut” and “Future Shark Tank Winner” while you’re at it. Golden Rule Consulting (Founder) Ah yes, “providing services to benefit the packaging industry.” That’s a fancy way of saying, “I yell at people on LinkedIn about boxes and sometimes they pay me.” And you listed influencer marketing—who exactly are you influencing? Aspiring cardboard enthusiasts? Meyers (Senior VP & Advisor) You wrote, “I have been given an incredible opportunity to serve the sales team at Meyers…” Dude, why does this sound like a LinkedIn version of a Best Man speech? “It is my great honor to stand before you today… to sell folding cartons.” Also, no numbers? No revenue growth? What are we supposed to do, trust that you crushed it? Label King (New Market Development) So, you’re a King now? Wow. You just skipped Duke, Prince, and went straight for the crown. Bold move. Also, “Assisting the Label King team with research”—come on, man, “assisting”? That sounds like you got tricked into an unpaid internship. People of Packaging Podcast (Co-host & Founder) “We are not professional media personalities.” Yeah, no kidding—we can tell by that intro music. But hey, a niche podcast about packaging? That’s some next-level commitment. Meanwhile, the rest of us can’t even finish a TV show on Netflix without losing interest. Author (Packaging Peek’s & The Sticky Situation) Wait… you wrote a book about packaging? I bet that’s an absolute page-turner. Chapter One: The Exciting World of Corrugated Fiberboard. Gripping. Edge-of-your-seat action. Final Verdict: Your LinkedIn page is basically a TED Talk mixed with a résumé that’s had too much caffeine. You’re out here doing literally everything in packaging except physically making the boxes yourself. But hey, at least you’re the King of Labels. Let me know if you want me to turn the heat up or cool it down, Your Royal Highness of Cardboard!