I’ve been in tech for 12+ years - from Software Engineer to Tech Lead to Product Director.

I got there by doubling down on soft skills. Now I help others develop them too.

For the past 4 years, I’ve coached 500+ engineers and trained 300+ tech leads - helping them build confidence, grow as leadership, and reach the next level in their careers.

Curious about working together?
DM me here or email me at anemarifiser@gmail.com

It’s here 🤩 🎉

I cannot believe it.

After a year of writing, rewriting, editing, discussing, updating 😩 … my “Leveling up as a Tech Lead” book is ready.

This is the moment when all the struggle fades away.

This was very much a team effort and I want to say thank you.

Starting with the O'Reilly team: David Michelson, Shira Evans, Gregory Hyman - thank you for trusting me, pushing me, and supporting me every step of the way. And thank you to all the other people who contributed in ways I may never know about 🙂

To my friends: Radu Chilom, Elena García Peña, Stefania Rosca, Sorin Mihai, Eduard Almasqué, Elisa Cutrín Aller, Valentina Servile, thank you not just for your thoughtful feedback on the book but for keeping my spirits high with advice, encouragement, and friendship.

Thank you Patrick Kua for the generous foreword.
Rebecca Parsons for the back cover quote.
Birgitta Boeckeler for the AI discussions and sharp insights :)

To all the people who showed interest in reviewing the book. 
When I asked for volunteers, I definitely didn’t expect more than 160 people to sign up 🤯 
I couldn’t include everyone, but every message, comment, and “this book is needed” note gave me the confidence to keep going.

Which brings me to my 20 selected tech reviewers. 
Thank you for reading carefully, sharing your stories and experience, debated topics with me, and made the book so much better :)

→ Check it out here: https://lnkd.in/eecPJHe6 

And let me know what you think 
questions, thoughts, disagreements… always happy to debate 🔥😉

Anemari Fiser

Training techies in soft skills that scale | Workshops & 1-1 coaching | O’Reilly Author | Engineering Leader | ex-Thoughtworks

Being highly responsive is a career hack.

…until it isn’t.

People used to tell me all the time:
“You’re so quick to respond.”
“I love that you’re always there.”
“I know I can count on you.”

Sounds great, right?

The problem is you set the expectation that this is who you are.
That this level of availability is your baseline.

And the moment you’re not available?
It’s a whole drama.

Meanwhile… the person who’s always late or unreliable?
For them it’s: “Well… that’s just how Alex is.”

🤯 WHAT?

If this keeps happening to you, you’re part of the problem.
Because you set the expectations.

So try setting some boundaries 
and stick to them (people will test you)
Let people wait a bit
…

Let expectations reset.

Then, when you do go the extra mile, it won’t be “the minimum people expect from you.”

It will actually be appreciated.

Boundaries don’t make you less dependable.
They make your dependability sustainable 😉

Tech leads owning the 1-1 agenda is a red flag 🚩

One of my clients was doing all of this:

→ Checking status
→ Asking about blockers
→ Coming up with all the topics
→ Tracking progress for her team
→ Figuring out next steps for them

On the surface, it sounds responsible.

In reality: she was carrying everything.

And slowly… the team stopped carrying anything.

I asked her: “What if your team owned the agenda instead?”

They bring the topics.
They bring the problems.
They bring the thinking.

Her reaction:
“That would take so much off my shoulders 😮‍💨
And finally give me space for strategic work.”

So she changed her approach.
She asked people to start owning their 1-1s.

Of course, this transfer of ownership doesn’t happen overnight.
It’s a process of unlearning bad habits - for everyone.

But it pays off 😉

1-1s aren’t about doing the thinking for people.
They’re about teaching people how to think.

Let them own it.

Clarity accelerates careers.

Helping techies find it is the work I enjoy most 🙂

taplio

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