Tristan Bohet's Linkedin Analytics

👉 Since you've come this far, it would be a shame to miss out, so here's how it works: 1. Click on the "www.flowersfrommars.com 🌸" link (duh). Up there. In blue. Just below the number of subscribers! Wow, for a moment there, I really thought you were not going to find it. 2. Choose one of the two remaining slots in 2035: Thursday 31 February at 7:30am or Sunday when hell freezes over at 9:15pm. 3. Pick up the phone number on the Calendly welcome page while you're at it. If you do find it. Hint: you won't. 4. Dial it on your smartphone keypad and press the green button. Not that button, are you color-blind or what!? Ahhh, too late, we’re all dead, smart move. 5. After the beep, select your budget range by pressing either "€1,500 to €25,000" (key one) or "over €5 million" (key twoooo). Don’t blow it, I have zero sense of humor with this. 6. Deadline? For yesterday, press the "yeah right, honey bunny" button hard, it’s the button in the shape of a Mandalorian helmet on your keyboard, there, can u see it? This is the way. 7. Now, you have 8 sec max to explain the lost causes for which you’d be willing to die. Be very convincing, as I only accept sincere clients and I do have a built-in BS radar. 8. The reason I’m not answering your 22nd call is that I’m chasing Bernbach, Schwartz, Halbert and the 2 Davids, Abbott and Ogilvy. Legendary. 9. This will give you time to draft a comprehensive brief. Nooo, I'm kidding, please leave it, I'll do it. Positioning is my thing and as my uncle Gilles would say, it takes what it takes, right ? Besides, your campaign will be a much better if it’s based on a solid brief…you’d think. 10. You’ll find some lousy UGCs, bland ads, overused stock pictures, and obvious ChatGPT texts at the bottom right of this page, next to the pink elephant. Look thoroughly. 11. Here, only 1-million-dollars ads for a fraction of their value, attention catchers and onion-cut creative contents that will stop your prospects’ thumb-scroll dead in its tracks. 12. My rates are slightly higher than those of a stripper, and I will keep my underwear. This part is not negotiable. Obviously, videos, full Monty, entry and tailor-made packages, etc. It goes without saying but I'm saying it anyway because I want to. 13. 13th is the best. Ain’t you glad you read this far? If your campaign doesn’t break the bank on first try, we try again. You are entitled to three tries. It’s the Aladdin law. Don’t thank me. 👉 or else my mail: [email protected]