Deloitte Partner | Keynote Speaker & Executive Coach | Guiding leaders out of The Success Trap

I’m Clif Mathews, a Partner at Deloitte with 25 years of experience advising senior executives through major transitions and defining leadership moments. 

Over the years I’ve seen how even the most accomplished leaders can reach a point where their own success starts to feel limiting, when what once worked no longer moves them forward.

I call this The Success Trap:

👉 When the very habits that built your career become the ones that keep you from moving forward.

Leaders find themselves here:

- Delaying big decisions out of fear of being wrong
- Struggling to hold influence in the rooms that matter most
- Achieving more and more, yet feeling less fulfilled

They have done everything right and now wonder, “Is this all there is?”

That is where I focus my work. I help senior executives break free from The Success Trap and move from optimization to integration. The goal is to reconnect achievement with authenticity, values, and well-being.

This is not performance coaching, stress management, or job search prep. It is about helping leaders build clarity, courage, and alignment before they make their next big move.

My clients learn to:

✅ Make courageous calls when the stakes are highest
✅ Rebuild confidence in their judgment and influence
✅ Lead in ways that feel both successful and sustainable

At the heart of my approach are four values:

- Exploration: asking better questions instead of clinging to old answers
- Empowerment: helping leaders back themselves when certainty is not possible
- Authenticity: showing up with integrity, playfulness, and courage
- Prosperity: building growth that feels healthy, aligned, and worth celebrating

Every day, I share ideas and experiences on leadership and how to break free from: The Success Trap. 

♻️ Follow for fresh perspectives, or DM me to explore a collaboration or speaking opportunities.

📧 Sign up for my newsletter: Second Summit Brief — a weekly read for executives who climbed the “right” mountain, only to realize it wasn’t their own. Every week, I share insights on finding YOUR summit. Integration over optimization, alignment over altitude, different terrain instead of higher ground. Subscribe here: https://www.clifmathews.com/newsletter

The most powerful pivot in your career...

Can feel like a failure at first.

Image credits go to Alvin Huang!

There's a pattern that can appear with successful leaders at times.

They've checked every box, built a great career, and earned impressive titles.
And yet, there's a quiet feeling that something's still not right.

On paper, they're incredibly successful, but it still feels like they're behind.

If you've ever felt this, you're not alone. And there's a good reason why it happens.

For our whole lives, our brains do what they're built to do.
Dopamine hits us whenever we achieve something new.

New title? Dopamine.
Promotion? Dopamine.
Closing a big deal? Dopamine.

As you keep going, the dopamine hits keep coming,
until somewhere along the way, you stop checking whether you're on the path that's right for you.

That creates the feeling that something's not quite right.

And in some cases, it starts a negative spiral where you believe your achievements are failures.

But choosing a new path isn't a failure.

In fact, it's often the first step to achieving more success.

You hit a low point and realize something's off.
↓
You acknowledge how you're feeling and wonder what you can do.
↓
You find the root cause of the strange feeling.
↓
You learn what you actually care about in your work.
↓
You start to connect the dots between your current path and what you want.
↓
You adjust your direction based on what truly matters to you.
↓
You move forward feeling clearer and more aligned than before.

If you've ever felt like you need to pivot, that's not a failure.

It's a signal that your external success and internal alignment aren't completely in sync.

But once you realize that, you can start taking steps to close that gap.
And that's one of the bravest things you can do.

Have you been through this before? How did you define your success?

I created a worksheet to help with this exact problem.

It'll help you realize whethr your following your own goals,
or someone else's definition of success.

You can get it for free here: bit.ly/before-you-climb

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➕ For more posts on defining success on your own terms, follow Clif Mathews.
🔁 Repost to help another leader reflect on whether they're still on the right path.

Clif Mathews

Wanting something new isn't selfish.

You're allowed to change direction.

There's something that happens when you achieve success and it stops feeling right.

You've built your career, earned respect, and proven you're capable of anything.

For some people, there's a pull to pivot and try something new.
And instead of feeling like progress, it might feel like failure.

When you've spent years building toward an idea of success, it's natural that change can feel scary.

But that desire to try something new isn't failure.

It's a signal telling you that your version of success doesn't fully align with who you are now.

And that's okay.

The more you grow, the more you learn about yourself.
And that self-awareness can push you toward success that feels like yours.

But if it still feels difficult, it's worth asking yourself why:

❓ Am I afraid of what other people might think?
❓ Does staying really feel safer than admitting I want something different?
❓ Who am I outside of my achievements at work? 

They're tough to answer, 
but they reveal the beliefs that keep you stuck.

Outgrowing old ideas of success doesn't make you ungrateful.

And as you get clear on what you actually want,
it becomes easier to let go of what doesn't serve you anymore.

So before you dismiss the idea of change, ask yourself:

→ If I stripped away what impresses people, what would I actually pursue?
→ What version of success makes my energy expand instead of contract?
→ What would I regret not trying?

You don't need to have everything figured out right away.

Be honest with yourself. That's the first step.

I'm covering exactly how to start turning your ideas into action in my newsletter tomorrow.

For anyone who's trying to build something new for themselves,
this one's for you.

👉 Click here to sign up: bit.ly/SecondSummitBrief

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For more posts on redefining success on your own terms, follow Clif Mathews.
🔁 Repost to remind another leader that growth isn't failure.

Most leaders treat 1:1s like status meetings.

These questions support actual growth.

Ben Sands is to thank for this great visual!

A lot of leaders want to support their teams.

1:1s are the best opportunity to figure out how to do that,
but many of them default to the same pattern:

Status updates. Deadlines. Check the deliverables.

And then they miss out on a chance to really understand what each team member needs.

If you ask the right questions,
you can support people through their next project and throughout their career.

Here's where to start:

1️⃣ Where are you stuck right now?
↳ Creates space for them to tell you what's blocking their progress.

2️⃣ How are you feeling?
↳ Allows you to see how they're doing before small issues turn into big problems.

3️⃣ In your opinion, what matters most over the next 90 days?
↳ Makes sure you're both focused on the same priorities.

4️⃣ Am I supporting you in the right way?
↳ Shows you whether your support is landing the way you think it is.

5️⃣ What would need to be true for this to feel like a "dream job"?
↳ Helps you understand what's missing and what they're actually working toward.

6️⃣ Where do you feel like you’re adding the most value right now?
↳ Tells you where they feel strong and where they might need more support.

7️⃣ What are you interested in learning or taking on next?
↳ Shows that their growth matters to you beyond performance reviews.

8️⃣ What do you need from me right now?
↳ Gives them permission to tell you exactly how you can help.

9️⃣ Is anything slowing you down that I might not see?
↳ Brings up obstacles you can clear out of their way.

🔟 What’s one thing that would make this week a little easier?
↳ Gives you a small, immediate way to make their work better.

Leading a great 1:1 requires more than checking boxes.

It's a chance to understand your team well enough to support them.

When they see that you're invested in their development,
they'll give their best work in return.

Which question do you think is most impactful?

For more posts on developing strong teams, follow Clif Mathews.

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📨 Every week, 13,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
Sign up here so you don't miss out: bit.ly/SecondSummitBrief

🔁 Repost to help other senior leaders run more effective 1:1s.

I combine M&A finance strategy with executive coaching to help senior finance leaders through high-impact transitions, including integrations, separations, spin-offs, and IPOs. There's always a lot on the line before the deal even closes. And that's where I can help.

I’ve worked with incoming CEOs and CFOs of multi-billion dollar companies as they step into their new roles. In the early days, they’re focused on getting clear, earning trust, and aligning their teams quickly. I help them do that without losing momentum.

I support pre-close planning, operating model design, executive team off-sites, and first-90-day execution. I’m there to bring structure to complexity and help leaders show up with confidence when it counts most.

If you’re heading into a transaction or stepping into a new leadership chapter, I’m here to help you lead with clarity and conviction.

I help smart, driven leaders become world-class operators | Author, High Growth Leadership newsletter | Father of 5

Oksana Ushakova

Emotional intelligence doesn't come down to a single skill.

Every moment calls for a different hat.

Many execs know that emotional intelligence means being open and listening to different perspectives.

What trips them up is applying the right kind of EQ to the right situation.

That's why they have to become familiar with the different hats they should wear.

Here are 9 that matter most:

1️⃣ The Visionary
↳ Helps the team understand what success looks like and see the road to get them there.

2️⃣ The Coach
↳ Develops their team through questions, feedback, and work that stretches them.

3️⃣ The Teacher
↳ Steps in to teach a certain skill when the team needs a shared baseline.

4️⃣ The Translator
↳ Turns messy complexity into clear language, owners, and next steps.

5️⃣ The Problem Solver
↳ Steps in to address urgent problems, and sets long-term solutions to prevent repeats.

6️⃣ The Connector
↳ Builds trust and creates real collaboration across the team.

7️⃣ The Advocate
↳ Reduces unnecessary stress while defending the team’s time, energy, and priorities.

8️⃣ The Role Model
↳ Sets the tone for the entire team through their behavior, values, and habits.

9️⃣ The Service Leader
↳ Removes any blockers and makes sure the team has what they need to do great work.

The mistake most leaders make is picking one hat and wearing it all the time.

They default to problem-solving when people need guidance.
Or stay focused on the vision when the team needs to build more trust.

But the more you recognize which situation needs which hat,
the faster you can create a great culture for your team.

Which hat do you wear most often?

For more posts on emotional intelligence in leadership, follow Clif Mathews.

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📨 Every week, 12,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
Sign up here so you don't miss out: bit.ly/SecondSummitBrief

🔁 Repost to help other leaders recognize when they need to switch hats.

20 Lessons from Atomic Habits

(Every leader should read these. Twice.)

Thanks to Gareth Lloyd for putting this together!

When it comes to achieving goals, a lot of execs only rely on motivation.

It can work for a while, but eventually, motivation runs out.

Instead of relying on willpower, it's more effective to build habits into your day.

Over time, those small, consistent actions build up.
You're able to create routines that protect your energy instead of burning through it.

Here are some of the lessons that resonate with me most:

1️⃣ Identity drives your habits.
2️⃣ What you repeat, you become.
3️⃣ Your habits show your priorities.
4️⃣ Your systems determine your success.
5️⃣ Better environments create better decisions.
6️⃣ Tiny steps, done daily, create lasting change.
7️⃣ Make good habits obvious and bad habits difficult.

When you build a consistent routine, your leadership improves in all areas.

You're better at protecting your energy.
Your goals become measurable rather than staying vague.
Your confidence improves because you see the results stack up.

And most of all, your team starts following the example you set.

If you're aiming to be the best leader you can,
think about the habits you need to become that person.

Putting them in place makes achieving your goal much easier.

Pursuing the right goal is just as important as building the right habits.

That's why I created a worksheet to help.

It walks you through five key questions to figure out your version of success,
and create goals that truly feel right for you.

You can get it for free here:
https://lnkd.in/gtWPrWa9

Have you read Atomic Habits? What are your thoughts on it?

For more posts on building sustainable leadership, follow Clif Mathews.
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📨 Every week, 14,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
Sign up here so you don't miss out: bit.ly/SecondSummitBrief

🔁 Repost to remind another leader that their habits shape their impact.

Running on autopilot will keep you efficient.

But rest lets you lead with real impact.

When you're constantly stressed or disconnected from what recharges you,
your brain becomes wired for survival mode.

It can get you through tough periods, but over time you become more and more drained.

Sometimes it looks like the only solution is to keep pushing forward.

But if everything feels harder than usual,
it's a sign that you actually need to take a step back.

You can rewire your brain so stress isn't your default wiring.

A few ways to do this:

🏃‍♂️‍➡️ Exercise daily.
🚶‍➡️ Take a walk in nature.
🎵 Dance to your favorite song.
📖 Finally read that book you bought.
📵 Spend a few hours without your phone.
🛏️ Get 8 hours of quality sleep each night.

A lot of leaders see switching off as a reward for hard work.

But taking a rest is a key part of hard work.

When you stop running on autopilot and rewire your brain,
you recognize which parts of your work feel meaningful.

That helps you prioritize what matters most in your professional and personal life.

Start small. Pick one thing from the list and make it your priority for the week.

Your brain will thank you.

What's one thing you do to reset?

For more posts on building rest into your leadership, follow Clif Mathews.

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📨 Every week, 12,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
Sign up here so you don't miss out: bit.ly/SecondSummitBrief

🔁 Repost to remind another leader to step back and reset.

Your mindset creates your cage.

Change your thoughts, and the door opens.

Thanks to Paul Evans for this visual.

It can be hard to tell when something needs to change.

Especially when, on the surface, everything seems to be going well.

You have a great role.
You've got a solid team.
You're making an impact at work.

Yet sometimes, even with all that success, the work doesn't feel as fulfilling as you thought it would.

Maybe you've even started thinking about what you might do differently.
It could be a pivot, a role change, or something completely new.

But every time you try to move forward, it feels like there's an invisible barrier keeping you where you are.

I've seen this happen to plenty of senior leaders.
They're in The Success Trap.

It's when you've succeeded brilliantly at something that was never actually yours.

And the more success you get, the smaller the cage around you feels.

That cage is made out of:

➡️ Other people's definitions of success that you've absorbed.
➡️ Expectations you've exceeded without question.
➡️ The dopamine hits from promotions that kept you climbing.

That cage can feel impossible to escape.
But you're the one holding the key.

Opening that cage starts by asking some questions:

➡️ Am I chasing goals I actually want, or goals I think I should want?
➡️ What would success look like if no one else was watching?
➡️ What parts of my work genuinely energize me versus drain me?

They're the first step toward understanding which beliefs are yours and which ones you've been carrying for someone else.

If any of this resonates, I created a worksheet to help.

It'll help you figure out if you're following your own version of success or someone else's.

You can get it for free here:
https://lnkd.in/gtWPrWa9

Have you ever realized you were holding yourself back?
What helped you walk out of the cage?

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For more posts on defining success on your own terms, follow Clif Mathews.
🔁 Repost to help another leader remember their path is worth following.

Redefining how businesses position and grow in the AI era | B2B Positioning Expert | Founder of V2RSION

Modesta Mahiga

Some goals feel like climbing the wrong mountain.

And no amount of success makes it feel right.

I've worked with many execs over the years. When January rolls around, the same pattern appears:

They set ambitious goals for the year.
Create action plans.
And are 100% committed to the work.

But a few months in, they'll tick off their goals and still feel unfulfilled.

The problem is that their goal was never really theirs to begin with.

As we grow, all of us absorb definitions of success that aren't our own. 

These definitions can come from our parents, school, culture, and the corporate ladder.
Everyone around us shapes this path that we follow without questioning too much.

So even when we achieve our goals, there's a sense that something feels off.

This is what I call the Success Trap:
Succeeding brilliantly at something that was never actually meant to be yours.

Before you set your next goal, you need to find your foundation.

A dream with a date becomes a goal.
↳ But only if it's rooted in what you actually want.

A goal broken into steps becomes a plan.
↳ Knowing how you'll get there makes the change easier.

A plan backed by action becomes reality.
↳ When it's your plan, momentum follows naturally.

If you want a goal this year that really feels like yours,
start by asking yourself:

➡️ What do I actually want?
➡️ What would success look like if no one was watching?
➡️ What energizes me, and what drains me?

They'll be uncomfortable to answer, but they're the foundation of any goal worth chasing.

I've created a free, short worksheet to help you find that foundation.

It walks you through questions that'll help define your version of success.

And you'll get a clear picture on what your next steps are.

You can get it for free here: bit.ly/before-you-climb

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For more posts on defining your version of success, follow Clif Mathews.

🔁 Repost to help someone else understand their true goals.

No matter who's listening to you, the rules don't change:

How you speak shapes what happens next.

When most leaders hear "public speaking," they picture TED Talks and keynotes.

But the same techniques that work on stage can be applied to boardrooms and team meetings.

You don't have to be naturally gifted at public speaking to make an impact.

If you have a few strategies to rely on, you can build your presence in any room.

Here are 7 that you can try out:

1️⃣ Power Pause
↳ Pause for 3 seconds after key points. Let the message land before you move on.

2️⃣ Rule of Three
↳ Structure your points in threes. Our brains love patterns and they stick better this way.

3️⃣ 3-Part Open (hook, story, promise)
↳ Start with a question to grab attention, share a quick story, then tell them what they'll get.

4️⃣ 2-Minute Story Rule
↳ Keep your stories under two minutes. Short stories maintain momentum and keep people engaged.

5️⃣ Callback Technique
↳ Reference earlier points later in your talk. It creates a thread people can follow.

6️⃣ Power Position
↳ Stand with feet shoulder-width apart, arms relaxed. Your body language shapes how confident you feel and how others perceive you.

7️⃣ 5-5-5 Rule
↳ Scan 5 faces, hold each gaze for 5 seconds, rotate every 5 minutes. Real eye contact builds connection.

Whether you're presenting to your team or addressing the C-suite,
how you show up influences how people respond.

You don't have to follow all these rules to the letter. (please don't!)

They're tools to help you build your own style.
 
As you practice, test what feels natural, try different combinations, and have fun with it.

The more energy and confidence you build up,
the more the audience connects with you during the real thing.

Pick one strategy to try this week and see what happens.

What's your go-to technique when you're speaking to a group?

For more posts on building influence in every speech, follow Clif Mathews.

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📨 Every week, 6,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
Sign up here so you don't miss out: bit.ly/SecondSummitBrief

🔁 Repost to help other leaders strengthen their presence.

You’re allowed to outgrow a place that once felt right.

Even if everyone says you’re thriving.

When things are going well on paper, it's easy to dismiss the small signals that something's off.

You deliver great results, get along well with the people around you, and have built up your success over years.

Still, you can feel like you’re not quite where you’re supposed to be.

Here's where a lot of people struggle.

When something's obviously wrong with a role or company, it's clear that you need to leave.
But it's much harder to see warning signs when you're good at the work and you fit the culture.

Instead of looking outward for the problem,
start noticing what's happening internally.

Your nervous system is likely to tell you that something's wrong.

Here are the signals you should watch out for:

Sunday dread that has nothing to do with stress.
↳ The workload is fine, but you don't have any passion for it anymore. 

Feeling disconnected from what you're building.
↳ The mission doesn't resonate the way it used to.

Pretending to care more than you actually do.
↳ You're going through the motions because you're good at your job.

Value drift.
↳ The company's direction drifts further away from what's important to you.

Uncertainty about the future.
↳ Even when everything's going well, you keep asking yourself, "Is this it?"

You don't have to focus on performance or what people around you might think.

Instead, focus on whether the work itself fits who you are and where you want to go.

Sometimes there's no obvious villain or reason why things feel off, and that's okay.
You're allowed to change direction and pursue what feels meaningful to you.

If any of this resonates, here's what helps:

Start paying attention to when you feel most alive at work and when you feel like you're performing.

Those moments will bring you closer to what's meant for you.

How did you realize you were ready for your next chapter?

I created a worksheet to help with this exact problem.

It'll help you realize whether you're following your own goals,
or someone else's definition of success.

You can get it for free here: bit.ly/before-you-climb

---

➕ For more posts on defining success on your own terms, follow Clif Mathews.
🔁 Repost to help another leader reflect on whether they're still on the right path.

We teach people how to work.

We rarely teach them how to work well together.

Newer execs often start their roles thinking about the legacy they want to leave behind.

But to create a strong impact, they need the full support of their team. 

The best way to do that is to invest in their growth and build their confidence.

It's not an easy skill to master,
but these six frameworks are a great place to start:

1️⃣ The Five Stages of Team Development
↳ Understanding how high-performing teams are formed removes any worries.

Nearly every strong team goes through these stages:

• Forming → People meet, roles are unclear
• Storming → Friction shows up as styles collide
• Norming → Shared habits form and collaboration clicks
• Performing → The team operates with speed and ownership
• Adjourning → The project wraps or shifts into something new

2️⃣ The Trust Triangle
↳ Trust grows when three things are consistently true.

Authenticity → Are you genuine and consistent?
Empathy → Do people feel understood and cared for?
Logic → Do your decisions and reasoning hold up?

3️⃣ The Energy vs. Impact Matrix
↳ Map each person by their engagement and contribution.

High Energy + High Impact → Promote and empower
High Energy + Low Impact → Coach or redirect
Low Energy + High Impact → Reignite motivation
Low Energy + Low Impact → Reassess role or exit

4️⃣ The RAPID Decision-Making Framework
↳ Identifying clear ownership prevents confusion and delays.

Recommend → Propose a clear plan
Agree → Secure essential buy-in
Perform → Execute the decision
Input → Provide expertise to inform the choice
Decide → Make the final call

5️⃣ The Johari Window
↳ A simple model for feedback and self-awareness.

Open Area → Known to self and others
Blind Spot → Unknown to self, known to others
Hidden Area → Known to self, unknown to others
Unknown Area → Unknown to both

6️⃣ The 70-20-10 Learning Principle
↳ This is the most effective way for people to develop.

70% through hands-on experience
20% through mentoring or coaching
10% through formal training

Every leader will gravitate toward different frameworks.

You don't need to use all of them to create an effective team.
Choose the ones that feel most natural and see how well they go.

Have you used any of these before? What's worked for you?

For more posts on building high-performing teams, follow Clif Mathews.

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📨 Every week, 6,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
Sign up here so you don't miss out: bit.ly/SecondSummitBrief

🔁 Repost to help other leaders strengthen their teams.

Your team can mentally check out long before resigning.

Most leaders don't notice until it's too late.

By the time it's obvious that something's wrong, the damage is already done.

There are a lot of signals in the run-up to a culture breaking down.

But leaders often miss them because they're focused on deliverables, strategy, and results.

When you know what to look out for,
you can spot the signs before things spiral out of control.

Here are the 8 signals every leader should be wary of:

1️⃣ High employee turnover
↳ This is one of the biggest pointers to deeper issues in the workspace.

2️⃣ Lack of psychological safety
↳ Team members don't feel safe speaking up, so problems go unaddressed.

3️⃣ Poor leadership accountability
↳ They deflect responsibility and fail to model desirable behaviors.

4️⃣ Chronic burnout
↳ Overwork and constant urgency are treated as normal.

5️⃣ Values that are unclear or not lived
↳ They exist on paper, but daily decisions and behaviors prove otherwise.

6️⃣ Office politics over collaboration
↳ Employees compete and compare, which leads to teamwork breaking down.

7️⃣ Low trust and transparency
↳ Decisions are made behind closed doors, fueling unhelpful rumors.

8️⃣ No clear growth or development paths
↳ Employees feel like there's no chance to learn, grow, or advance.

If you've spotted any of these signs in your workplace, 
it doesn't make you a bad leader.

What matters most is what next steps you choose to take.

Pay attention to what's not working.
Ask people what they think needs changing.
And act on the feedback you get.

Which of these signs do you think is most important to look out for?

For more posts on building sustainable team culture, follow Clif Mathews.
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📨 Every week, 14,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
Sign up here so you don't miss out: bit.ly/SecondSummitBrief

🔁 Repost to help another leader spot culture breakdown before it's too late.

Your accomplishments are only part of your leadership.

Your real impact is about who you help.

A lot of execs make this mistake. 

They assume leadership means being the one who makes every call.

Because they care about their work, 
it feels easier to be involved in every detail and task.

But if you hold on too tight to what's not yours,
you burn yourself out and lose the trust of your team.

Your value isn't in being the smartest person in the room.

It's in helping others discover what they're capable of.

Real leadership looks like this:

1️⃣ Leading through influence, not control
↳ Authority gets compliance. Influence creates commitment.
↳ In your next meeting, ask for people's thoughts before sharing your view.

2️⃣ Growing through continuous learning
↳ Leadership requires evolving as the role demands more of you.
↳ Think about one skill you want to improve and work on it this quarter.

3️⃣ Serving and supporting your team
↳ You can't leave an impact without supporting your team.
↳ Ask "What do you need to succeed?" more often than "Why isn't this done?"

4️⃣ Empowering people and collaborating effectively
↳ Delegating tasks allows your team to develop their judgment.
↳ Give someone a task or decision to make, and let them own it.

5️⃣ Taking ownership and responsibility
↳ When something goes wrong, it's on you. When something works, credit the team.
↳ Practice saying "I should have..." instead of "They didn't..."

6️⃣ Developing the next generation of leaders
↳ Your legacy isn't what you accomplished. It's who you helped become great.
↳ Ask where each person wants to be in two years and help create that path.

Your leadership goes beyond your own accomplishments.

It's about how you help your team achieve their goals. 
That's how you multiply your impact and build something that lasts. 

If you've had a leader who's helped you grow, tag them in the comments to let them know!

For more posts on rethinking leadership, follow Clif Mathews.

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📨 Every week, 14,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
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🔁 Repost to help other execs make a bigger impact in their work.

Great leadership isn't about being the best in the room.

It's about lifting others up with you.

The most influential execs I've seen don't wait until they've "made it" to invest in their teams.

They do it as they're advancing.

While they're navigating their own growth, dealing with new pressures, and learning new roles,
they're still reaching back to pull others up with them.

And those leaders are often the ones who have a lasting impact.

Success isn't just measured by the results you deliver.
It's measured by what happens to the people around you.

If you help people refine their skills, grow in confidence, and strengthen their weak points,
you create the environment to help everyone else succeed alongside you.

And that effect ripples out:

You have more time to focus on deep work.
↳ Because your team can work independently and make strong decisions.

You build trust that lasts long after projects end
↳ People remember you for investing in them early on.

You create leaders who guide more leaders.
↳ Your leadership multiplies beyond what you could achieve by yourself.

You don't have to make drastic changes to create this environment.

You just have to make some small additions to your workload.

➡️ Shine the spotlight on others when they do great work. 
➡️ Give people projects that will stretch their abilities.
➡️ Have regular conversations with your team about their development. 

The more you practice this, the more engaged your team becomes in their work and their development.
In turn, that motivates you to keep going toward your goals too.

The leaders who leave the strongest legacy aren't the ones who climbed the highest.

They're the ones who helped others along the way.

Who's a leader that helped you reach where you are now?
Send a quick message to thank them!

For more posts on creating influence and success, follow Clif Mathews.

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📨 Every week, 6,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
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🔁 Repost to remind other leaders to lift up their teams.

Ramiro A Rendiles Stolk

Your language can build or break your leadership.

Refine your words, and trust will follow.

Execs often think about building their influence through their actions.

They're quick to come up with strategies and are excellent at delivering outcomes.

But your impact doesn't only come from the goals you achieve.
It's built every day in how you speak to others.

The problem is that most leaders don't realize when their words can work against them.

One deflection in a meeting.
One vague comment.
One moment of defensiveness.

Those small moments might not feel like much.

But in the long term, they can cause your team to stop bringing up real problems.

The good news is that your influence can be rebuilt by making small changes in your language.

Here are 8 phrases leaders say that limit their influence:
(and what to say instead)

❌ "Here is the answer."
✅ "What am I missing here?"
→ People back leaders who listen, not ones who dominate the conversation.

❌ "I don't agree with this, but we have to do it."
✅ "Here's why this decision was made and how it affects us."
→ If you won't stand behind a decision, people stop standing behind you.

❌ "Let's move on."
✅ "I can sense hesitation. What worries are coming up?"
→ Unspoken worries won't disappear. They'll just get louder later on.

❌ "There's nothing to worry about."
✅ "I know this brings uncertainty. Let's talk through what it means."
→ People want to feel understood before having to move forward.

❌ "I will try to get to it."
✅ "I will have this done by Friday."
→ People trust what you do, not what you intend to do.

❌ "I heard something similar."
✅ "I would rather hear this directly from them."
→ Once people feel unsafe around you, they stop being honest.

❌ "You're not seeing the full picture."
✅ "Help me understand how you are seeing this."
→ Defensiveness shuts people down. Asking for their viewpoint keeps them engaged. 

❌ "I need to respond to this right now."
✅ "I want to think about this before responding."
→ Calm leaders make people feel steady. Rushed ones don't.

Communicating calmly and clearly is one of the consistent ways to build up your influence.

It's a skill that can be hard to master,
but as you practice, you'll become more confident and your team will open up to you more.

If you're ever in doubt about how to respond, pause first.
A few seconds of thinking might be the difference between a poor response and a great one.

For more posts on building influence as a leader, follow Clif Mathews.

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🔁 Repost to help another exec recognize how language shapes their leadership.

Disagreeing with your CEO isn't disrespectful.

Staying silent when you see a problem is.

I've worked with a lot of new execs who struggle to find their voice in their role.

One of the biggest worries is speaking up when a decision doesn't sit right with them.
If that decision was made by the CEO, they stay quiet.

It feels easier to go along than to risk being seen as difficult or disrespectful.

If you've ever felt that, I want to remind you of this:

You weren't promoted to exec level to nod along to every decision.
You were brought into the room because your judgment matters.

And there are plenty of ways to do it without damaging the relationship between you and the CEO.

Here's how:

When you're challenging a decision:
❌ Don't say: "I just don't think this is right."
✅ Try: "Here's what I'm seeing, based on the data."

When you've heard others agree:
❌ Don't say: "Everyone else feels the same way."
✅ Try: "I've heard similar concerns from finance and marketing, independently."

When you're highlighting a problem:
❌ Don't say: "This won't work."
✅ Try: "Here's another way that might solve it better."

When you're framing the issue:
❌ Don't say: "I disagree with your approach."
✅ Try: "We're both trying to achieve the same goal. Here's a path that might get us there faster."

When you're choosing the moment:
❌ Don't say: (in front of 10 people) "I don't think that's right."
✅ Try: "Can we talk through this one-on-one?"

When you're early in the conversation:
❌ Don't say: "I might be wrong, but..."
✅ Try: "Here's what I'm seeing so far."

When the CEO doubles down:
❌ Don't say: "But you said..."
✅ Try: "Can I ask how you're thinking about it now?"

The best CEOs don't want yes-people around them.
They want you to bring in your expertise and challenge things when they matter.
This is your chance to create a bigger impact.

The more you practice speaking respectfully,
the more trust you'll build in the relationship.

Have you ever had a tough conversation with a CEO? How did it go?

For more posts on building trust in leadership, follow Clif Mathews.

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🔁 Repost to help other new execs build confidence in their role.

Before you chase the next goal...

Make sure it's actually yours.

A lot of leaders know what success looks like on paper.

➡️ Achieve a target on a key project.
➡️ Get the next promotion.
➡️ Increase your compensation and benefits.

But what can sometimes happen is that you spend so much time chasing the next goal,
that you don't pause to think about whether it's the right goal for you.

We, as humans, inherit ideas of success.

It appears in how we work and what legacies we leave behind.

But sometimes those ideas don't align with what actually fulfills you in your role. 

Taking a moment to think about exactly what impact you want to have can be the start of achieving goals that truly matter to you.

Here's how to start on that path:

See your goal
➡️ Get specific about what you want, not just what looks impressive.

Understand the obstacles
➡️ Name what's actually in the way, whether it's external or internal.

Create a positive mental picture
➡️ Visualize what success looks like when it's aligned with who you are.

Clear your mind of self-doubt
➡️ Learn the difference between legitimate concerns and fear disguised as logic.

Embrace the challenge
➡️ Acknowledge that meaningful goals require discomfort.

Stay on track
➡️ Build sustainable systems that keep you moving toward what matters.

Show the world you can do it
➡️ Take action that reflects your commitment.

None of this means you should lower your standards or choose smaller goals.

Thinking about what matters most to you makes sure your energy goes in the right direction.

That's how you start achieving what truly lights you up.

To help with the first step, I created a free worksheet.
It walks you through five key questions that help you figure out what you actually want versus what's been handed to you.

You can download it here: bit.ly/before-you-climb

What's your goal for this year? I'd love to hear about it!

For more posts on defining your own success, follow Clif Mathews.

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📨 Every week, 13,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
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🔁 Repost to help another leader check in on the goals they're chasing.

Not all leadership lessons come from case studies. 

Sometimes, they're found in stories.

Have you ever watched a movie and seen someone who made you think,
"I want to be just like them!"?

Maybe you liked their bravery.
Or their intelligence or kindness.

Maybe you just found them really cool.

Whatever it is, chances are it shaped you as a person.

In a lot of cases, it can also influence how you work and lead. 

We learn a lot about how to work together through stories,
and seeing yourself in your favorite character might be the key to leveling up your leadership.

Here are 9 fictional characters every leader can learn from:

1. Samwise Gamgee
✅ Traits: He's loyal, persistent, and keeps going even when things are hard.
🎓 Lesson: Quieter and consistent leadership can lead to powerful outcomes.

2. Hermione Granger
✅ Traits: Intellectual, courageous, and doesn't shrink away from a challenge.
🎓 Lesson: Be prepared and give evidence to strengthen credibility.

3. Captain America
✅ Traits: Cap doesn't hesitate to think of others before himself.
🎓 Lesson: Embody service leadership. People follow execs who put the team first.

4. Vito Corleone
✅ Traits: Vito understands that influence comes from careful planning.
🎓 Lesson: Think long-term. Foresight can shape lasting outcomes.

5. Wonder Woman
✅ Traits: Wonder Woman leads through compassion and fairness.
🎓 Lesson: Authority works best when balanced with empathy.

6. Winnie the Pooh
✅ Traits: Pooh's always kind, empathetic, and patient with his friends.
🎓 Lesson: Emotional and psychological safety boosts overall performance.

7. Elizabeth Bennet
✅ Traits: Lizzy's bold, curious, and challenges what's around her.
🎓 Lesson: Question the status quo (respectfully) to make improvements in your environment.

8. Doc Brown
✅ Traits: Doc sees the possibilities others miss and is always inventing.
🎓 Lesson: Have a big imagination and take bold risks when it counts.

9. Atticus Finch
✅ Traits: Atticus stands by his beliefs despite opposition.
🎓 Lesson: Do the right thing even when it's unpopular.

Of course, there are many other characters out there you can use as a reference point. 

You don't need to fit perfectly into one specific type of leadership.

Pick out traits from people you admire the most,
and soon you'll have your own unique style that represents YOU.

Who was your favorite fictional character growing up?
What kind of traits do they have that you admire?

For more posts on leadership lessons, follow Clif Mathews.

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📨 Every week, 14,000+ execs learn how to define their own success in my newsletter, The Second Summit Brief.
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🔁 Repost to help other execs see leadership through a different lens.

Most leaders won't admit they're struggling.

But they still deserve to hear this:

What you're feeling is completely normal.

When I became partner, I struggled at the beginning.

And for the longest time, I thought I was the only person who felt that way.

One day, a senior partner who knew me well asked me, 
"Do you feel like they got it wrong?"

I did, but I never had the courage to admit it out loud.

She then went on to tell me, "That feeling doesn't go away. But you do belong here." 

Her saying that really mattered to me.

Most leaders don't get conversations like those,
but having the space to be vulnerable and honest is what allowed me to become the leader I am now.

Chances are, every leader has felt this one way or another.

So if you're in that place right now,
here's what you can remember:

1️⃣ You are not behind.
👉 Uncertainty doesn't mean everyone else understands this better than you.

2️⃣ You belong here.
👉 Self-doubt doesn't cancel out your capability.

3️⃣ Questioning whether you deserve this role is normal.
👉 It doesn't mean the decision to choose you was wrong.

4️⃣ Leadership often feels isolating.
👉 Support tends to drop once people assume you're doing fine.

5️⃣ You do not need to feel confident all the time.
👉 People trust honesty more than constant certainty.

6️⃣ You are allowed to say you are unsure. 
👉 Admitting it doesn't weaken your leadership.

7️⃣ Feeling afraid does not mean you are failing.
👉 It means that you're carrying responsibility.

8️⃣ You are not expected to figure this out alone.
👉 Leadership was never meant to be a solo role.

If any of these resonate, here's what helps:

Share what you're feeling with someone you trust. 
↳ They've probably been in the same spot before and can help you figure things out.

Don't try to be perfect when you don't have the full answer.
↳ Admitting you're uncertain creates more trust than pretending.

Ask for support before you're drowning.
↳ You're not meant to figure everything out alone.

I hope this reminds you that you're not alone in how you're feeling.

Which of these reminders do you think is most important for leaders to hear?

For more posts on navigating the realities of leadership, follow Clif Mathews.

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🔁 Repost to remind another leader they're not alone in this.

Bad situations force you to take action.

It's the "good enough" ones that trap you.

Recently, I came across a fascinating idea about how we respond to negative situations.

We think that if something really awful were to happen,
it would take a long time to work through it.

But research actually shows that we respond faster in times of crisis because there's a stronger urge to resolve them.

It's a strange paradox we all experience.

When something is terrible, everything in us kicks in to change it.

But when you're tolerant of a situation, it feels much easier to drift.

You're going to get out of a 3/10 job pretty quickly.
The 6/10 job is where things get tricky.

You're comfortable enough that there isn't a strong urge to change,
but there's still that feeling that something's off. 

And a lot of times, when you feel that disconnect,
you assume the problem is you.

On paper, you're successful. 

People congratulate you. 
You're great at your work. 
You've done everything "right."

So when it doesn't feel right, it's easy to think that you're being ungrateful,
or you should be happy with what you have.

This is where "being realistic" becomes a trap.

People who are successful and fulfilled are willing to go beyond "good enough."

They don't wait for their 6/10 to turn into a 3/10. 
They're willing to walk a path that feels right for them.

Because the worst thing in the world isn't being on a bad path.

It's being on a good path that doesn't belong to you.

If you've been feeling like this lately, I've put together a worksheet that'll help.

It walks you through the five important questions that help you ground your goals in your version of success,
not somebody else's.

You can get it for free right here: bit.ly/before-you-climb

What would change if you stopped being "realistic" and started defining success on your own terms?
DM me if this resonates. I'd love to chat.

For more posts on defining your own success, follow Clif Mathews.

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🔁 Repost to help someone recognize their own version of success.

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