"You can't teach empathy to murderers."

That's what California corrections officials told me.

Ten weeks later, women serving life sentences were mediating yard conflicts. Violence dropped dramatically. My co-founder, Laurel Kaufer, and I were honored as California Lawyer Magazine's Attorney of the Year.

The skill wasn't conflict resolution. It was affect labeling — reading emotions and naming them aloud before they escalate.

Neuroscience explains why it works: when someone accurately names what you're feeling, your amygdala calms and your prefrontal cortex comes back online. In 60-90 seconds, a hijacked brain can think again.

Today, I work with leaders who are drowning in overwhelm.

The pace of change is relentless. Your people are anxious, disengaged, or checked out. Meetings feel tense. Conversations stall. You're carrying emotions that aren't yours — and it's exhausting.

You've tried being more strategic. More direct. More patient.

None of it works because you're listening to words when you should be listening to emotions.

Here's what changes when you learn this skill:

→ The executive who derails every meeting? Feels heard. Stops fighting.
→ The anxiety rippling through your team? You name it, and it settles.
→ The tension you carry home every night? Stays at the office — because it's no longer yours to hold.

Your team starts speaking up before problems explode.
People stay because they feel safe.
You stop avoiding hard conversations and transform them.

What I teach:

1. Ignore the words. Let content become background noise.
2. Read the emotions. Facial expressions, tone, body language.
3. Reflect with you-statements. "You're frustrated and feeling unheard."

This isn't active listening. Active listening makes you the center of the moment when what the other person needs is emotional validation. This centers them.

The result: psychological safety, trust, and teams that perform — even when everything around them is changing.

My background:

→ 25+ years as a professional mediator
→ Former trial lawyer (top 1% in America)
→ Founder, Prison of Peace (teaching emotional intelligence in maximum-security prisons for 10+ years)
→ Author of De-Escalate (September 2017) and Empathy Leadership (coming September 2025)
→ Host, Listening with Leaders podcast
→ Purpose Prize Fellow

If you're ready to cut through the overwhelm:

→ Book a call: https://dougnoll.co/LetsTalk
→ Listen: Listening with Leaders podcast
→ Read: De-Escalate (available now)
→ www.dougnoll.com | doug@dougnoll.com

Call me if you want solutions.

Logistics director. 200 drivers. Turnover at 94%.

Sign-on bonuses walking out the door after 90 days.
Dispatch team burned out from constant recruiting.
Safety incidents creeping up every quarter.

His solution? Higher pay. Better benefits. Newer trucks.

Nothing worked.

Why? He was solving the wrong problem.

The real issue: Emotional contagion between dispatch and drivers.

Dispatcher stress → Curt communication → Driver feels disrespected → Quits → More pressure on dispatch → More stress
A vicious cycle bleeding his fleet dry.

Here's what logistics leaders miss:

Your drivers' brains are in constant threat assessment.
Tight deadlines + hours alone on the road + zero emotional recognition = Nervous system on fire.

Every "Just get it done" from dispatch registers as: I'm just a truck number here.

That feeling compounds. Mile after mile. Until they quit.

One adjustment changed everything:

Dispatchers learned to say:
"You're frustrated with this route change"
"You feel like we don't respect your time"
"You're pissed about the detention delay"

Not "It is what it is" or "Just make it work."
Just precise emotional recognition.

𝟵𝟬 𝗱𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿:
- Turnover down 41%
- Dispatch-driver conflicts down 67%
- Safety incidents down 38%
- Recruiting costs: Lowest in 5 years

The dispatcher who resisted most?
Now trains new hires across all four terminals.

"Doug, we move freight here, not feelings," she said.

"Exactly," was my reply. "But feelings move your drivers. And your drivers move the freight."

Logistics isn't about trucks and routes.
It's about the humans behind the wheel.

Acknowledge the human, keep the fleet moving.

DM me to transform your operation.

Because you can't route-optimize your way past human emotion.

Douglas Noll

Teaching leaders neuroscience-backed empathy and de-escalation | Distinguished Fellow, International Academy of Mediators | 3,000+ trained in maximum security |Author, Empathy Leadership (coming in September 2026)

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