Helping Couples: Change their Patterns, Deepen Their Connection. | Ranked #1 Relationship Expert: United States (Favikon) | Creator: Successful Relationship Strategy™ | Speaker & Author

I’m a NYS Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, relationship expert, and speaker. 
I created the Transcendental Relationship Therapy™ and the Successful Relationship Strategy™ to give couples a practical, emotionally intelligent, and transformative path to shift their dynamics and rekindle their love. 

I’ve appeared in CBS, ABC, WebMD, Parents, Psych Central, and other leading outlets as a relationship expert providing insight on emotional and relational health. 

With 30 years of experience in the profession and 25 years leading MetroRelationship.com (@metropolitan-mft), I’ve helped thousands of partners show up differently and create the radiant, successful relationship. 


If you're feeling disconnected in your relationship, know you're not alone.
Even the most successful, committed couples can find themselves stuck. 

They might have hit an impasse, replay the same arguments, feel disconnected and alone, longing to be fully appreciated and cherished. 

That’s where our work comes in.

We help high-performing, committed couples uplevel their communication, break painful cycles, and rebuild the connection and intimacy they’ve lost. 

We help them create a strong partnership and a shared life they love. 


If you’re doing all the “right” things but still feel like you’re drifting apart, we can help.

→ Explore our Featured section for free resources and ways to work together.

→ Follow for ongoing support on personal growth and relationship enrichment, to become the partner and create the relationship you are proud of.

Success is great.

But purpose is what makes it feel meaningful.

You can be checking all the boxes.
Getting things done.
Even feeling proud of how far you’ve come.

And still feel like something’s off.

All the performing, at work and at home, can leave you feeling empty.
Real connection and purpose are what make life feel meaningful and rewarding. ✨


Cristina Grancea captured this beautifully.
Sharing her post below - it’s worth the read. 👇  

~~~

Economies turn. Careers pivot. Roles vanish.
But who you are, and what you’re here to do, will never change.
 
Too often, we define our worth by:
 
 - Our job title
 - Our pay check
 - The brand we represent
 
And then we wonder why losing a job or business feels like losing ourselves.
 
Career fulfillment isn’t about the place or the people.
It’s about the purpose.
 
Here’s what it takes to uncover your purpose
and future-proof yourself for whatever comes next:
 
 1. Clarify Your Mission
 
 ✓ Define success on your own terms
 ✓ Set goals that outlive your current role
 ✕ Don’t let titles put a ceiling on your vision
 
 2. Build Portable Skills
 
 ✓ Learn skills no one can take from you
 ✓ Focus on abilities that never expire
 ✕ Don’t tie your knowledge to your current company
 
 3. Create Your Foundation
 
 ✓ Nurture relationships that last
 ✓ Become known for what only you can do
 ✕ Don’t depend on a company’s safety net
 
 4. Serve Your Purpose
 
 ✓ Do work that reflects your values
 ✓ Embrace challenges that help you grow
 ✕ Don’t trade your purpose for short-term gain
 
A company can replace you tomorrow.
But your purpose lasts a lifetime.
 
Security doesn’t come from a well-paid role.
 
It comes from knowing who you really are 

And what you’re here to do.
 

~~~

💫 Repost to inspire someone finding their way back to purpose

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for tools on conscious living and personal growth

Emma Viglucci

The moment you think you already know, you block your next level.

In personal growth, in leadership, and in your relationship, staying open to learning is the edge.

When you default to “I already know,” you miss the nuance that could change everything.

Sharing this brilliant post by Leonardo Freixas as a reminder that curiosity fuels growth and ego slams the door on transformation.

~~~

Your brain is lying to you right now.

And it thinks it's saving your life.

When new information challenges what you believe, your brain does the easiest thing.

It slams the brakes.

It already burns 20% of your daily energy just keeping you alive.
Challenging your own thinking costs fuel.

So it whispers the deadliest sentence in business: "You already know this."

You see the fallout everywhere:
→ Executives stuck in 2018
→ Teams killing ideas with "that's not how we do it here"
→ Pros convinced their last promotion was their peak

Cornell researchers call this the Dunning-Kruger effect.
The twist is brutal.
People with the least knowledge show the most confidence.

Your most wrong colleagues are usually your loudest.

But there's a way out.
Neuroplasticity.

Your brain can rewrite itself.
Every time you admit you were wrong, you weaken the resistance to learning something new.
That's how growth starts.

Once your brain accepts it misread something as simple as compound interest, it starts asking what else it got wrong about leadership, strategy, innovation.

The best companies don't train skills.
They train curiosity.

They turn "I already know" into "What am I missing?"
Certainty into questions.
Assumptions into experiments.

What's the one thing you're too certain about in your work? (In life and relationship?)

~~~

💫 Repost to remind others to stay curious to evolve into their next level

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on personal development and conscious relationships

Emma K. Viglucci, Relationship Therapist (She/Her)

Hi! I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the Founder and Director of Metropolitan MFT, PLLC, @metropolitan-mft. I'm dedicated to the wellness and success of partners and couples assisting them create their radiant and successful relationship/s and meaningful lives through our Successful Relationship Strategy™ and Transcendental Relationship Therapy™. 

I believe that strong couples create joyful, loving, and nurturing homes providing a wonderful environment for children to thrive. My Mission is to help partners become strong couples and create enriching homes for the future children of our world… 

I've been practicing for over 20 years and I'm dedicated to creating innovative and progressive practices and programs to help couples succeed in their relationships and their lives.

For a more formal bio and more about us, visit: https://metrorelationship.com/about-main/. 

We specialize in working with couples providing personal development for the partners and relationship enrichment. We help couples transform their relationships and their lives.

Some of our areas of focus include but are certainly not limited to: 
* Saving / Improving marriage
* Individual and Couple Codependence
* Pre-Marital 
* Infidelity 
* Anger Management

Ready to create the relationship you desire? Get the FREE Relationship Enrich Mini Course: https://metrorelationship.com/

Learn more about how we work and how we help partners here: https://metrorelationship.com/get-started/

Feel free to reach out. We are here to serve!

As a therapist I appreciate posts that show both the progress and the gaps in mental health care.

Dr. Eric does such a powerful job bringing the history of mental health care forward in a way that showcases how we can still improve how we treat people today.

Visit Eric Arzubi, MD for educational and thought-provoking posts on mental health.

The post below is about the psychiatrist Karl Menninger, and how he humanized the treatment of those struggling with mental illness.

~~~

It's 1925. Psychiatric hospitals are warehouses.
Patients aren't treated. They're stored.

One psychiatrist refused to accept it.

Karl Menninger saw something different.
He saw people who could heal.

Here's what he taught that we desperately need to remember:

1/ Hold Hope When Your Patient Can't
↳ Hope isn't a feeling. It's a clinical intervention.
↳ When someone feels hopeless, carry hope for them
↳ This isn't naive optimism. It's therapeutic duty.

2/ Stop Letting Labels Define People
↳ Diagnoses are for treatment planning. Nothing more.
↳ Labels blind us to the human struggling underneath
↳ "Abnormal" behavior is a response to abnormal circumstances

3/ Everything Is Treatment
↳ Every interaction matters, not just the 50-minute hour
↳ Menninger called it "milieu therapy"
↳ Every staff is a clinician, whether they know it or not
↳ The receptionist's tone matters. The parking lot matters.

4/ Recovery Is More Than Symptom Reduction
↳ His "Big Three": restore capacity for love, work, and play
↳ Are we measuring what actually matters?
↳ A quiet patient isn't necessarily a healed patient

5/ Relationship Beats Technique
↳ The quality of the therapeutic alliance predicts outcomes
↳ True respect often matters more than the intervention
↳ Connection is the treatment. Everything else is scaffolding.

Menninger made one more observation we've largely ignored:

"What's done to children, they will do to society."

He understood that healing individuals means healing systems.

That advocacy and clinical work aren't separate. They're the same mission.

100 years later, are we living up to what he taught?

~~~

💫 Share this if you believe mental health care should be relational, not transactional

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for more on human-first care, healing, and relationships

The 1% bring the same intentionality to their relationships that they bring to everything else.

Without intentionality, relationships drift. 
Resentment builds in silence. 
Connection fades into routine. 
Partners become roommates. 

You end up wondering where the spark went... 
When really, you stopped fueling it. 😬


The 1% refuse to let their most important relationship run on autopilot. They bring conscious design to their partnership across five critical areas.

💎 Commitment & Mindset
Most people give up when it gets hard. 
👉 The 1% stay committed to the relationship even when they're not feeling it. They see challenges as opportunities to grow together, not reasons to bail.

💬 Communication & Alignment
Most people hint hoping their partner gets it. 
👉 The 1% have the hard conversations early. They check in regularly to make sure they stay aligned.

🪞 Consciousness & Dynamics
Most people react from triggers and repeat patterns.
👉 The 1% notice their own triggers, and proactively address them. They take ownership of how they show up and their impact. 

🔥 Connection & Intimacy
Most people let the relationship maintain itself. 
👉 The 1% actively nurture it. They prioritize presence and delighting their partner. They stay emotionally available even when it's easier to zone out. 

🌱 Collaboration & Partnership
Most people compete or keep score. 
👉 The 1% approach their relationship as a team. They tackle problems together and build a shared vision they both love.

This is what separates thriving relationships from ones that just survive.

The 1% aren't more talented or lucky. They're just willing to put in what it takes to excel at whatever they put their mind to. 
Including their relationship. 🌟


Your relationship is worth the effort. 
Your partner is worth the investment. 
The connection you crave is waiting on the other side of the intentionality you bring.

Stop waiting for the relationship to transform itself. 
Be the one who shows up differently. ✨

Pick one area you've been coasting in, and bring more intention to it this week.


~~~

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF here: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa

💫 Repost if you're ready to join the ranks of those who intentionally invest in their relationships.

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on personal growth and relationship transformation

Your greatness comes from your transformation. It starts ugly, gets messy, and only shines on the other side.

Most people give up on their dreams before they make it. They don't realize it gets messy before it's gets amazing. 

You're dismantling old patterns and structures while new you're building new ones. You're between two versions of yourself and it's messy and uncomfortable. 💔


THE MESSY MIDDLE:

Your SELF
➝ You're in therapy, reading the books, doing the inner work. Owning yourself fully. 
BUT you're still snapping at people and you're still anxious. You're more triggerable to your sensitivities. 

Your RELATIONSHIP
➝ You're finally speaking up about what you need and setting boundaries.
BUT now there's more conflict and doubt. You wonder if your partner can handle the real you. 

Your LIFE 
➝ You took the leap. You're going for your dreams and started a new business.
BUT your bank account is shrinking. You're feel exhausted. And have nothing to show for it.  

It might look like nothing is working. Like a failed experiment. Like it's time to cut your loses. 

But coal only becomes diamond under specific pressure and with time. Quit early and you give up on the brilliant jewel that was just around the corner. 💎


HOW TO THRIVE THROUGH THE MESSINESS:

1/ Shift your timeline
➝ Don't judge where you're going by where you are right now. Stay in faith for the outcome you desire. 

2/ Find your people
➝ Get around people who've been in there and came out the other side. They'll remind you it's normal.

3/ Curate your energy
➝ Create routines and join spaces that elevate you and support unwavering belief of what's possible. 

Your struggle isn't proof of failing, but proof you're in the exact place where real change happens. 


Stop judging your coal when you haven't arrived at your transformation yet. ✨

Stay steady, stay in faith. Your diamond is on its way. 


~~~

💫 Repost to support others stay in the messiness till they come out the other side  

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on personal development and conscious relationships

🌺 This post was inspired by a similar post from Susan Chen

Every choice is hard. The difference is whether that hard gets you somewhere.

We tell ourselves we're taking the easier path, but that's the illusion. 

Every choice leads to difficulty. The difference is whether that difficulty builds something or just wastes life force. 🥀


In 30 years of providing therapy and relationship coaching, I've noticed:

→ Career: The hard of owning your value vs. the hard of staying invisible and resentful

→ Relationships: The hard of saying "I need something different" vs. the hard of slowly disconnecting from your partner

→ Inner work: The hard of sitting in therapy addressing your patterns vs. the hard of exploding at your partner when they express themselves


Most people are exhausted, because they've been choosing the harder option for years. And confusing it for easier.

Doing the inner work isn't more comfortable or easier, but it certainly is more productive. It's the hard that actually leads somewhere instead of being in a hamster wheel.

YOU ARE CHOOSING THE WRONG HARD IF:

~ The avoidant hard feels like treading water. Constant effort with no forward movement. You're tired and nothing changes.

~ The productive hard feels uncomfortable at first, then expansive. You're constantly learning something about yourself. You are going places. 

One keeps you stuck. The other stretches you into someone new. 🌟


Your brain will fight you on this. Growth feels dangerous to the nervous system because change always does. 

But that discomfort isn't a warning sign. It's a sign you are growing. 

Remember when you were a kid and your thighs, calves, shins, or behind the knees hurt when you had a growth spurt? 😉


You're rewarded when you discover what you're capable of when you choose the hard that helps you grow. 

That's where the actual fun lives in life - in becoming someone you didn't know you could be. 
In really going for it in all areas of your life. ✨


Inspired by Faraz Anis's post on choosing your hard

~~~

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF to go for it in your marriage: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa 

💫 Repost to remind others that growth happens in the productive hard, not the avoidant kind

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on personal development and conscious relationships

Choose Your Hard

You are not stuck or confused. 

You are afraid of what it'll take.

Your 80-year-old self won't wonder what went wrong. 
They'll ask why you never tried.

~ Starting over when you had invested so much 
~ Letting go of the version of you who overfunctioned
~ Telling the truth, even if it made you the villain


You think you're protecting yourself by not going for it: Your energy, bandwidth, presence, time, finances. 

But playing it safe guarantees you'll never know what was possible.

Successful people take risks and build extraordinary lives. ✨
Everyone else plays it safe and lives ordinary lives, wondering what could have been.


Think about marriage. 💍
The divorce rate hovers around 50%.
If a business venture had those odds, nobody would invest.

Yet people still get married.
They take the risk because the possibility of deep connection and a shared life is worth it. 

That same math applies to everything that matters.
The potential reward justifies what it'll take.

💼 CAREER:
➝ Apply for the role you're "not ready for" 
➝ Launch the idea you keep thinking about

❤️ RELATIONSHIP:
➝ Tell them what you need vs resenting them
➝ Address what hurts that you've been quiet about

🎯 PERSONAL:
➝ Book the trip you're "waiting" to take 
➝ Commit to becoming your most authentic self


You don't need certainty to start.
You need to be more afraid of staying where you are than of what it'll take to move.

Pick one thing you've been wanting but avoiding or postponing:
➝ Assess what's scary about it
➝ Remove the friction
➝ Map out a flexible plan of action for focus
➝ Include self-care addressing fears and needs
➝ Review your course as you go. Rinse and repeat.

Extraordinary lives aren't built on comfort. 
They're built on courage.

Your future self is waiting. ⏳


💬 What's the ONE thing you're going to tackle this week?

~~~

✨ Get my New Year Reset Guide!  
https://bit.ly/3N4eHDl 

💫 Repost to remind others that their extraordinary life awaits them

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for tools on conscious living, loving and leading

You'll know you're wealthy when you stop performing and start living.

Real luxury isn't what you can afford to buy. It's what you can afford to be.

Most people chase the wrong things. They think wealth means having a bigger house, more fancy stuff, or a larger bank account. ⚠️


But the wealthiest people I know have something else entirely.

~ They have a peaceful mind and an open heart
~ They have sacred morning time for themselves
~ They have lasting energy because they are healthy
~ They make a difference in other people's lives 
~ They focus on creating a legacy

They've created a home that restores them, not just impresses others. When they're with people, they're actually present instead of mentally everywhere else. 

And they're building something that will matter long after they're gone. 🌟


These aren't things you can buy. They're built through how you live.

 • Starting the day with a self expanding practice
 • Going about your day with intention and presence 
 • Having real conversations vs surface-level talk
 • Focusing on what moves the needle vs distractions
 • Owning your power to make a difference 

True wealth is built in the small moments when you show up to your life. 

It's thousands of tiny decisions about where you place your attention and what you allow into your space. ⚡️


Stop chasing what looks impressive and start building what feels nourishing. Think about what you need to tweak about your days and your focus to live a richer life. 

Your future self will thank you for choosing the luxuries that actually make life worth living. ✨


~~~

💫 Repost to encourage others to live a rich life 

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on personal development and conscious relationships

🌺 Inspired by Cristina Grancea's post on her 6 luxuries in life

This isn’t a conversation about leadership. It’s about remembering how to be human.

In the clip, Simon explains that women often make better CEOs because they lead with care. 

They’re more likely to listen, to think about how their decisions affect others, and to stay connected under pressure. 💖


The soft skills that women bring are not exclusive to women. 

We’ve just been trained to lead with certainty, productivity, and performance. 

But performative leadership leads to burnout, constant attrition, and workplaces where people survive instead of thrive. ⚠️

It's the softer skills that actually make teams strong, loyal and productive:

 1. Collaboration over dominance
 2. Cooperation over competition
 3. Trust over control
 4. Curiosity over certainty
 5. Connection over being right
 6. Emotional awareness over pure logic
 7. Presence over performance
 8. Flexibility over rigidity
 9. Vulnerability over ego


And, it's these same shifts that make marriages strong. 

Partners that show up with emotional intelligence create stronger bonds and connection. They create a successful relationship they love. 💞

We're learning that bringing soft skills into our life makes everything better. 

They help us build the emotional intelligence we actually need for a thriving human experience. 🌟

In a world where AI is getting better at handling all the performative and surface-level work, it's imperative that we own the softer side that makes us human.  

So let's be the best humans we can be. Let’s bring them into how we live, lead, and relate.


This means practicing them daily in all our contexts:

 1. When you feel defensive, pause and ask yourself what feels threatened. Get honest before you respond.

 2. When someone’s in a hard place, don’t rush to offer a fix. Sit with them long enough to actually understand.

 3. Before a tough conversation, take a moment to consider what pressure or fear the other person might be carrying.


The soft traits are what keep teams functional and relationships healthy.

This is how we keep our humanness intact and flourishing. 🌿


~~~

💫 Repost to remind others to be more human ✨

🔥 Follow @emmakviglucci for insights on personal development and conscious relationships

A lesson I still need to learn is how not to burn through my days bouncing from one priority to the next.

I know I'm not alone in this. 
People grind on fifteen different goals. Drill down on dozens of projects. Then sit back confused when progress feels impossible. 🥴

High achievers do the opposite. They ruthlessly narrow their focus to one thing and pour all their energy there.

You can do anything, but you can't do everything.

In "The One Thing," Gary Keller argues that extraordinary results come from focusing intensely on one thing at a time. 🤓


Your problem isn't time management. It's priority management. Most people refuse to choose.

Look at where you're spreading yourself too thin:

💼 WORK: You can't do all the tasks, all the projects, and serve all the accounts. 

🏠 HOME: You can't do all the responsibilities, all the decisions, and do all the planning. 

🎯 YOU: You can't implement all the habits, attend all the events, and join all the programs. 

When you try to do everything, you scatter your energy so thin that nothing gets the concentrated force it needs.

A dozen half-finished projects don't add up to one breakthrough. They add up to zero. 😳


The real answer is ruthless focus.

STEP 1: AUDIT EVERYTHING
Write down every commitment on your plate. The stuff you're avoiding counts too.

STEP 2: APPLY THE FOCUSING QUESTION
Ask: "What's the one thing that would make the biggest difference right now?" That's your priority, everything else is noise.

STEP 3: PROTECT YOUR PRIORITY
Build your schedule around it. Cancel meetings, drop commitments, outsource tasks, batch errands, streamline habits. 

🌟 Decide what you want to achieve at work, what kind of home life you want to live, and what kind of person you want to become. 

🌟 Direct your focus to the thing that makes the biggest difference there. 

Without ruthless focus, your priority gets buried under your endless to-do list.


The question isn't whether you have the capacity to succeed. You do. 

The question is whether you're willing to direct that capacity toward one thing long enough to get the extraordinary results you desire. 🤩


---

💫 Repost to help others stop spreading themselves thin and start making real progress

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on conscious living and personal evolution

Most people don’t realize the game is rigged in favor of people who know how to win.

You’ve probably been taught to “play fair,” “follow the rules,” and “wait your turn.”

But the people who consistently win play by different rules. They learn how the system works and how to leverage it.

This concept was captured perfectly by Dharma Ramasamy in a post I had to share.
These same rules apply for building your successful relationship! 🤓

~~~

Most people play by the rules  
That’s why they stay average

The ones who win?  
They know the rules  
And then stack the deck 🃏

This isn’t about motivation  
It’s about leverage

The kind that tilts the game in your favor  
Every single time

~~~

💬 Which one of the rules grabbed your attention?

💫 Repost to help others stack their own deck

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on intentional living, loving and leading.

Laws that give you an unfair advantage

I watch couples try to dim their partner's light because they're afraid of being outshined.

One partner gets promoted and the other suddenly becomes critical of their work hours. One partner starts a side business and the other questions every decision.

At home it's the same pattern. Who's the better parent. Who does more around the house. Who's more patient, more organized, more fun with the kids.

It's rooted in fear that your partner succeeding means you might be left behind. 😳


When you light someone else's candle, your flame doesn't get smaller.

🕯️ SCARCITY THINKING whispers:
"If they succeed, what does that say about me?"
"Their wins make me look like I'm falling behind"
"We can't both be the star of this relationship"
"They got appreciation for handling that and I didn't"
 "The kids love them more"

🔥 ABUNDANCE THINKING knows:
"Their success creates more light for both of us"
"When they grow, our relationship grows"
"We're building something bigger together"
"Their wins at home make our life better"
"The kids win when we both shine"

This is the difference in mindset between struggling couples and thriving ones:

❌ Most couples see their partner's growth as threatening
✅ Thriving couples see it as an invitation to grow together

❌ Most couples compete for who shines brighter  
✅ Thriving couples become each other's biggest champions

❌ Most couples worry about being left behind
✅ Thriving couples actively light each other's path forward


When you support your partner's success, you don't stay in the dark.

You become the kind of person who builds others up. Your support, cheerleading, patience, and generosity makes you shine brighter too.

Your partner's light doesn't diminish yours. It illuminates more possibilities for your shared life.


Start this Monday by choosing abundance. Celebrate their wins. Support their dreams. Light their candle.

Watch how much brighter your world becomes when you both shine. ✨


~~~

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF here: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa

💫 Repost to help others own their shine 

🔥 Follow @emmakviglucci for insights on conscious relationships and personal evolution

You're not reacting to your partner. You are reacting to what comes up from the past.

Most couples think they're arguing about the mess, the money, or who forgot what.

When they are actually arguing about their triggers. Their feelings driven by unresolved hurt or unmet needs from childhood. And, the meaning they assign to the moment as a result. 


❣️ REMEMBER: 

~ 80% of any friction is about you. Your triggers. 

~ Only 20% is about the circumstance or what your partner did.

When your partner leaves coffee cups on the counter, it triggers an old negative feeling from childhood, like not being seen. 

And you assign meaning to it, consciously or unconsciously.
"I don't matter." 
"They take me for granted."
"I always have to do everything."
This is your program running the show. 


🌀 YOUR LOOP: 

Your patterns interact with your partner's to create your relationship dynamics, creating the repeating conflicts and the same old fight. 

→ Surface trigger hits (mess, money, time)
→ Childhood wound activates (invisible, not enough)
→ Negative emotion floods you (anger, fear, shame)
→ You respond with your defense mechanism (explosion, shutdown)
→ Your defense mechanism triggers theirs
→ They respond with their defense mechanism in turn
→ And so it goes: same fight, different day

You're both trying to resolve hurt feelings and get needs met no matter the cost. That's the power struggle.


💞 HOW TO STOP THE LOOP:

I often hear: "It's not my responsibility to heal them. This is about their father, their mother, not me."

You're right, you can't heal them. But this is relational.

When you mindfully address your feelings and meet your own needs, you no longer operate from reactivity. You can give them a different experience that heals.

~ If they shut down, offer safety. 

~ If they explode, offer presence.

This is how the pattern breaks. 
This is how you both evolve.


💡 The key is doing your own work. But your own work doesn't mean doing it alone...

~ When you get triggered, access the feeling, translate it into the need, then meet the emotional need yourself. 

~ You can make requests of your partner to help meet the need: Not the practical need, the emotional one underneath. 

When you take responsibility for your 80%, you create space for something new. 
You elevate the relationship.


Your partner is a beautiful match to trigger you, and vice versa. You are a gift to each other. 
You show each other exactly what needs to heal.

This is how you create a strong and meaningful partnership. 💝


~~~

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF to start changing the loop in your marriage: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa 

💫 Repost to remind others that healing yourself transforms your relationships

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on personal development and conscious relationships

Graphic Inspo: @thespiritualaspects on IG

It’s painful to watch someone ruin a good thing.

I see this all the time in my practice. 
Because of their own insecurities, partners have a hard time trusting others, including their partner. 

They become controlling, critical, demanding. 
They show up in very harsh ways. 

💔 They monitor and have something to say about every move their partner makes. 

💔 They become the boss of them. Telling them how they should think, feel and act. 

💔 They assign negative motives to their actions, taking things personally as if they were done against them on purpose. 


They feel taken for granted, alone and unsupported.

They push their partner to meet their needs, but in ways that strip away their partner’s independence, willingness, and even their spirit. 

Then they wonder why their partner is not showing up for them. 

And mind you, this is all done with the best of intentions. In the name of the family, the home, the relationship. 

They just can't understand why their partner is not as invested.


💡Meanwhile, their partner is invested. They do care. 

They just have a different mindset and approach to what it means to be in relationship and part of the family. 


The key is awareness. Understanding each other’s mindset, expectations, and desires. And showing up in a way that actually lands for their partner.

This way they both get what they desire. ✨


~~~

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF here: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa

💫 Repost to remind others to be gentle in their relationship, their partner is on their team

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on conscious relationships and personal transformation

I see how couples get stuck and slowly drain each other's dreams.

🌀 They stop talking about starting a new business.
🌀 Going back to school becomes "not the right time."
🌀 Having another child becomes "too inconvenient."
🌀 Training for that marathon becomes "too time-consuming"

Pretty soon, both people have lowered their ceiling. 

They call it being realistic. But really, they've just started protecting each other from disappointment instead of pushing each other toward possibility. 


What they don't realize is that ambition is contagious.

Whenever I'm striving toward a new goal, I notice a pep and realignment in my husband's step. 
He shares new things he'd work toward as well. 

Your partner has more influence on your trajectory than anyone else. Their energy toward growth shapes your possibilities. 🤩


When one person stops reaching, the other eventually does too. 
They have smaller plans. Make safer choices. Choose smaller dreams that fit inside the comfort zone.

❌ Most couples think supporting means agreeing with everything

✅ Thriving couples know supporting means questioning limiting beliefs and fueling bigger dreams


The right partner doesn't just tolerate your ambition, they expand it. 

When you're stuck in what's practical, they pull you toward what's possible.

They remind you of what you're capable of when you've forgotten.


This is how marriages transform from two people managing life together to two people building something extraordinary together.

Stagnant couples choose comfort. 
Thriving couples choose growth.

And that choice shows up in a thousand small moments where you're either holding each other back or propelling each other forward. ✨


~~~

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF here: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa

💫 Repost to remind others that relationships should elevate, not hold back 

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on conscious relationships and intentional partnership

You say you want progress and growth.

So stop thinking like the past version of you.

You don’t need better goals this year.
You need to upgrade your thinking.

The beliefs that shaped you are still running the show.
They were built for survival.
Now they’re keeping you stuck and small.

🌀 You pretend you're fine so you don't rock the boat
🌀 You apologize even when the mess isn't yours
🌀 You downplay your ideas so no one pushes back

That’s not growth. That’s still survival mode.


OLD vs NEW THINKING

❌ I can’t mess up or they’ll think I’m not enough
✅ Showing up honestly builds real trust

❌ Needing help means I’m failing
✅ Strong people ask for support

❌ I have to choose between being liked or respected
✅ Being clear and kind gets me both

❌ Saying no makes me selfish
✅ Protecting my energy lets me show up better

❌ This feels hard so I must be doing it wrong
✅ Growth feels messy before it makes sense

❌ Successful people don’t struggle like this
✅ Everyone struggles, most just hide it

❌ I should have figured this out by now
✅ Every new level requires new learnings

❌ If I say what I really think, I’ll lose them
✅ Honest conversations keep connection strong

The old thinking is what's keeping you stuck.

You need to stop buying into the old thinking to change your patterns and move forward.


HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT

1. Spot the belief that keeps you stuck
2. Decide what you want to believe instead
3. Practice acting from that belief even if it's hard

That’s how you grow.
That’s how you lead.
That's how you love.

That’s how you create the relationship, career, and life you actually want.


💬 What belief are you done carrying into the new year?

~~~

✨ Get my New Year Reset Guide! 
https://bit.ly/3N4eHDl

💫 Repost to help someone shift their thinking this year

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for tools on emotional growth and relationships transformation

Your relationship struggles don't mean you picked the wrong partner or that it has run its course.  

The struggles are showing you where you need to grow and what patterns need to shift to create the relationship you want. 

Most people see conflict or tension and check out. 
They assume incompatibility, or they don't have the faith that things can change. 


💡Your relationship is surfacing the gap between who you are now and who you need to become to build the deeper connection you desire.  

You keep hitting the same struggles for a reason:

~ You get reactive because the emotional work is still unfinished

~ You feel misunderstood because vulnerability still feels unsafe 

~ Communication breaks down because you the skills aren't there yet


Here’s what needs to shift:

🚫 Takes your partner's behavior personally
✅ Sees their reactions as information

🚫 Reacts when hurt
✅ Responds with intention

🚫 Focuses on being right
✅ Prioritizes understanding

🚫 Avoids hard conversations
✅ Leans in with compassion

🚫 Pushes for your way
✅ Stays collaborative and invested in the future


The friction shows you exactly where growth is still needed:

~ You focus on what your partner does or doesn’t do instead of how you’re showing up.

~ You blame them for the tension and forget to check your own part.

These are the habits and skills that make deeper intimacy possible.


You can’t skip this part. 
Shifting your mindset, expanding your regulation, and upleveling your communication is the preparation.

You have to become the next version of you to live the love and life you want. ✨

~~~

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF here: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa

💫 Repost to remind others their struggles are preparing them for the love and life they’re building

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on conscious relationships and personal transformation

Most couples don't need another strategy or tool. They need to stop chipping at their bond and blocking the connection that's already there.

I see this in my work with couples day in and day out.

Overachieving partners have good intentions.
They work super hard at creating change in their stuck relationship.

What they don't realize is that all that effort is actually making things worse. 💔


You're doing too much:

➝ The endless explaining. Their controlling behaviors. The micromanaging of the partner's emotions.
➝ The constant requests for the partner to show up differently.
➝ The over-functioning in the relationship to compensate for what you think they should be doing.

All that effort is choking the life out of your connection. 🥀


Here's what actually happens when you try to force growth:

🚫 FORCING CREATES RESISTANCE:
↳ Your partner becomes defensive
↳ They dig deeper into old patterns
↳ Every conversation becomes a power struggle
↳ You both feel criticized and misunderstood
↳ Nothing shifts. Nothing grows.

The breakthrough isn't in pushing harder.

It's in removing the obstacles that keep both of you stuck.

🌿 WHEN YOU STOP FORCING AND START ALLOWING:
↳ You quit the behaviors that trigger them
↳ You own your part in the stuck patterns
↳ You create safety for them to choose change
↳ You model growth instead of demanding it
↳ The relationship becomes collaborative vs combative

Real transformation happens when you stop trying to control your partner and start collaborating to clear the weeds that choke out your connection.

The gardener doesn't make the plant grow.
They just remove what's in the way.

Healthy love grows when you stop blocking the sun. ☀️


~~~

💡 Check out this related blog post I wrote that pairs really well with empowering yourself to create the change you desire...
https://bit.ly/49tsgFj

💫 Repost to remind others to stop pushing and start clearing the blocks

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on conscious relationships and intentional partnership

You can't rebuild the relationship overnight, but you can start creating connection today.

When couples come to my office, they bring a laundry list of unresolved issues, conflicts, things they're resentful and hurting about, repeating patterns and fights.

They feel overwhelmed, stuck and hopeless because they can't even start to address anything without the whole thing devolving. 
They have no idea where to start. 😞

They feel powerless to turn the relationship around and get back the admiration and love they once had.  

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF here: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa


🌀 THE BREAKTHROUGH IS IN THE STARTING POINT

The answer isn't trying to address everything at once, or throwing out the baby with the bath water.

The key is choosing to be all in regardless of the current evidence to the contrary, to settle oneself down, self-regulate, and have a different conversation.

This different conversation starts with validating BOTH partners' experiences, their pain and their needs. Not to be right, not to shove their perspective down the other's throat, not to win the argument... 

When both partners feel heard and safe, the nervous system can calm down enough to actually access other internal resources to make the changes needed. 

Creating an instance of alignment is what starts turning the whole thing around. 💫

You don't have to agree on everything, but you can agree on one thing. And that is to invest in making it work. 


🌱 SMALL ACTIONS CREATE BIG SHIFTS

Stop victimizing yourself and empower yourself with the belief that it can be done.

You can't think your way into connection, but you can act your way there. 💞

Take one step at a time. Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.

Your relationship transforms one intentional choice at a time. ✨


~~~

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF here: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa

💫 Repost to remind others that small steps create big transformations

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on conscious relationships and intentional partnerships

Your negativity bias is creating a scarcity mindset in your marriage. 

Negativity bias is the human tendency to give greater weight to negative experiences than positive ones. 
This stems from evolutionary survival instincts, where our brain scans for threats. 

In modern life, it makes you remember criticism more vividly than praise and react more strongly to bad news.

⚠️ Your partner forgets to load the dishwasher and your brain translates it into "I'm not important to them." 

⚠️ They work late and it's proof they don't prioritize you. 

Each disappointment gets filed as evidence you're not loved enough, not seen, not heard. 

Your brain catalogs threats to your worthiness and belonging, building a case for why you should feel unsafe. 😳

I see this constantly in my sessions. Partners misinterpret intent, fixate on negatives, and miss repair and connection attempts.


Your constant focus on threats and what's missing convinces you there isn't enough love, attention, or connection to go around. 

You operate from lack instead of possibility:

🚫 SCARCITY MINDSET IN MARRIAGE
• Thinks there's limited love/attention to go around
• Stays stuck in the same perspective and conflict
• Competes for who's more tired, more right
• Keeps score vs investing in connection
• Obsesses over what your partner isn't doing
• Plays it safe, avoids vulnerability
• Believes they already know everything about them

✅ ABUNDANCE MINDSET IN MARRIAGE
• Knows love grows when you give it freely
• Sees problems as puzzles to solve together
• Gets excited when your partner wins or grows
• Invests in loving your partner without scorekeeping
• Notices and appreciates what's actually working
• Takes emotional risks to deepen connection
• Stays curious about them and keeps learning

Most couples get stuck in scarcity mode because they let their negativity bias run unchecked. 


The couples who thrive have learned to reprogram what they focus on. 

They train themselves to scan for what's going right and make it a point to highlight it. 
They deliberately override the default setting.

What you focus on grows. 🤩
Time to reprogram your negativity bias filter.

~~~

💖 Download the Successful Relationship PDF here: https://shorturl.at/L9MRa

💫 Repost to help others shift from threat-scanning to treasure-hunting in their relationships 😉

🔥 Follow Emma Viglucci for insights on conscious relationships and intentional partnership

📊 Graphic inspiration: Mariya Valeva

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