MALLY

Founder

Capgemini

As a consultant I advise on privacy compliance, implement protection programs, conduct assessments, facilitate workshops, develop policies, tailor solutions, and stay updated on privacy laws.

Consultant

Berghauser Pont Mediagroep

I developed commercial training products, managed in-house training, gave partner acquisition presentations, contributed to website strategy and social media policies, and engaged in diverse content creation.

Editorial Specialist

DPG Media Nederland

I collaborated with partners like LG and Samsung to create branded content articles for prominent Dutch news platforms of DPG Media (NU, Volkskrant, AD).

Copywriter

Rechtencircuit.nl

I served as chairwoman of a legal platform, overseeing weekly editorial meetings, guiding other board members, focusing on improving overall quality and expanding platform reach, and taking final responsibility for all content creation tasks including deadline and content planning, and final editing.

Chairwoman, Copywriter

Back in 2018, I was an anxious robot.

—> Couldn't sleep due to intense anxiety
—> Panic attacks were part of my routine
—> Self-worth was super low

I was in law school back then, doing fine there.

But I hated who I was.

To escape all my feels, I did 'fun' things like
—> emo eating
—> drinking & partying
—> spending hours on my phone

At my very lowest, anxiety kept me at home.

Convincing myself to go to the grocery store took half a day, 
and sometimes I didn't even make it there.

I felt ashamed, angry, bitter.
Everything was hard.

At one point I decided enough is enough.

Radical changes were made.

I said goodbye to:

—> many so-called friends
—> my unhealthy relationship

Things started turning around.

I studied personal growth as if preparing for law exams.

I discovered what worked.
And what didn’t.

6+ years later I'm happier than ever.

Nope I’m not some zen master now.
I am still me. Mally

Yet I can now say that I’m truly happy.
With myself and with my life.

I want to help people achieve the same.

It’s not complicated. 

You just need
—> the tools
—> the courage to try them out

I’m here to help you with both. 

So you can become as happy and confident
as you deserve to be. 

I believe in you. 

— Mally

3 reasons why most people don’t get confident (dead simple): 

1. They think nothing works

2. They don't know where to start

3. They give up before seeing results


If this is you, I got you 🙏

Here's my advice: 

Start building your mental real estate 🏰 🔥

How?

Place your money in the
right deposit account.

Your thoughts = your money
Your deposit accounts = your feelings

You have 2 deposits

Deposit A → Joy, love, positive feels
Deposit B → Fear, anger, sad feels

Step 1: Watch where your ‘money’ is going

→ What are you investing in now?
→ Which feels do you gain from it?

More A’s, B’s or 50/50?

Examples:

‘I can do this! I’ve solved worse stuff in my life’ =
+1 Deposit A 💰

‘I’m happy I get to sleep in such a comfortable bed’ =
+ 1 Deposit A 💰

‘I don’t want to work. I hate this job’ =
+1 Deposit B 💰

‘I always find a way to mess things up’ =
+1 Deposit B 💰

2. Accept made deposits

However it looks like (even if it’s only B’s),
know that it’s totally OK.

You don’t need to feel ashamed or worried.

It just means you’re human.

Buuut.. you can learn new things today:

3. Change the $ flow

one deposit at the time.

Ask yourself few times a day:

💸 Is there maybe, just maybe, another way I can look at this?

💸 What’s (kind of) good about this situation?

This is how you change the flow.

Dropping more coins into Deposit A each time.

That's it!

Keep doing this over and over. 

Important note: 

→ Yes it can get boring. 
→ Yes you may think it doesn't work. 

But it does. 

The brain always needs time to adjust. 

So give it a try for at least 21 days. 

See how that goes. 

Good luck building!

🧡

___

Hey 🙋🏽‍♀️ Hope this helped.

I'm Emmaly van, or Mally (what works for u)

Click my name + follow + 🔔

Emmaly van Ettikhoven

How to fix your mindset in 5 minutes or less:

(I’ll keep it real as always)

Personal growth sure can get fluffy on LI.

Vague terms.
Glorified outcomes.

I mean, don’t get me wrong.

I love a bit of hoo haa every once in a while.

(cacao ceremonies — let’s go)

But for daily life?

I’d like to keep it short and easy.

So today I’ll share one statement I’ll always live by.

You can use it for every aspect of your life.

Here it is:

You get what you focus on.

It’s that simple.

Done. 

How it works:

Anything you focus on → your brain will find evidence for

If you hate your boss → you only see the bad aspects

If you say you can’t do it → it sure will be harder to do it

If you think the world’s against you → you won’t see all the opportunities

And so on.

There’s a deeper aspect to this.

Some thoughts keep coming back.

It’s when you search for and let go of the root cause.

Buuut that’s a whole other post.

For now remember 🔑 ↓

You get what you focus on. 

Always.

Ask yourself:

Is this something I WANT to be focused on?

If no, focus on something else.

Ok ok.

You may know about this.

But are you practising it?
Consistently?

That’s the question.

P.S. I focus on getting funky in the park.

—

Hey 🙋🏽‍♀️ Hope this helped.

I'm Emmaly, or Mally (what works for u)

Click my name + follow + 🔔

Are you sad? Good. Here’s why you hold ALL the power:


Do you think you always need to be happy?

You may say no.

But do you act on it?

Think about it.

We live in this mask society.

It’s nobody’s fault.

People mean well.

You’re sad then someone hits you like

→ let’s go out!
→ it’s not that big of a deal
→ forget about him, plenty of fish in the sea

Or..

→ at least you have roof over your head

Uhu.

I’m not here for any of it.

Why?

Because you neglect a part of yourself.

It’s not weird to be sad.

Or angry.
Or scared.

We all go through this stuff.

➝ Yeah ok but I still feel like sh*t

I got you.

Here’s the catch:

By being sad, you BECOME happier.

It's like letting a kid cry.

You feel it, then you heal it.

Here’s one of my methods:

Storm meditation ↓

1. Close your eyes.
2. Your emotions are the storm.
3. You’re in the middle.

4. Say to the storm:
- It’s okay, you can be here.
- Show me what you got.

5. Feel it all. 
6. After a while: Ask the storm if it’s ready to go.
7. Maybe it wants to stay a longer. Let it.
8. Ask again: are you ready to go?
9. See what happens.

Well done!!

You’ve just accepted a new part of YOU.

Thx for watching

Don’t forget to like and subscribe

- Mally

P.S. Bonus exercise in the comments

♻︎ Repost to spread this message in your network

Stop thinking happy thoughts.

(It won’t work until you do this 1 thing)

Once upon a time, you wanted to hit the gym daily.

You had it all covered:
—> smashing outfits
—> smashing fitness plan
—> smashing gym membership

Tried it for a week. Went perfect.

But after week 2? Netflix time.

You’re way too tired.

"I’ll get back up tomorrow."

You don’t.

It’s a hop-on hop-off game.
You never actually get fit.

‘‘I’m a mess’’ you think.

So you start googling.

You stumble across affirmations.

You write down:
‘‘I’m a fit person’’
‘‘I go to the gym daily’’
‘’I love going to the gym’’

You try to say it, but cringe big time.

It's not working. So you think. 

You forget about
—> the gym
—> affirmations

Here’s my take:

Affirmations work.
You just need a diff approach.

Instead of
—> repeating what you don’t believe

Ask yourself
—> WHY you’re not buying it

Here’s how:
1. Go to a mirror
2. Look yourself in the eyes
3. ‘’Why am I not believing this? Tell me.’’
4. Wait. See what comes up.

Maybe you:
—> think gym = suffering
—> have a parent who hates the gym
—> think working out is for nerds (as it was in high school)

I call this connecting the dots.

It's a way to find out what stops you on a subconscious level.

Once you find that out you can:
1. Let go of it
2. Use your affirmations
3. Go to the gym w/o pushing yourself

Btw I can write 77 posts about step 1.

But I’m out of characters.

Hope this helps you.

Happy gymming!

—

If you’re reading this:
1. You’re a star. Comment ⭐️
2. Click my name + follow + 🔔

Bye bye now 🙋🏽‍♀️

My brain used to bully me 24/7. Here’s a key lesson I learned from 6+ years of mindset work:

''You’re good enough exactly the way you are''

🙄

Mennn I always thought this was so cringe.

A bunch of bla bla bla

Because I didn’t buy it.
For ONE bit.

Not back then.

The stories in my head were too loud.
Too convincing.
Too real.

Luckily I’m in a good spot today.

I can say that
→ I love myself
→ it’s OK to make mistakes
→ I deserve the best things in life

(and nobody will stop me hehe)

But that took a loooong time.

I needed to crack a crucial code.

And boy did I crack it!

It’s a trap many people fall in.

It’s called…

external validation

What ‘they’ think you should achieve
→ So you think, act and feel accordingly

You’ll always feel sh*t like this.

Why?

You can't please everyone.

Some people will always think you're wack.

The beauty industry thrives on your insecurities.

Do I let that bother me?

Nope.

I'd rather use my energy to
→ create my own life rules
→ act on them

It’s when the game changes.

You shift from
→ external validation
to
→ internal validation

So how did I do it?

Self-Concept.

The steps are:
1. Get clear on who you are now
2. Get clear on who you want to be
3. Let go of any beliefs that don’t align with step 2

It’s when you flip a 360 on your mind.

Realise 1 thing today:

This is your life.

You deserve to feel good.

Seriously.

Take that power back and start working
→ on you
→ for you

I’ve been meditating for 6+ years. Here’s what I learned:

I can’t control my mind so I suck —> NOPE

I just don’t agree with it.

You can’t be ‘bad’ at meditation.

The whole point of meditation is
—> to watch your thoughts
—> see how they do their thing
—> slowly bring them back

That’s all it is.

So why not try it out?

I know you can do it.

Chances are you’ll feel so much better.

Here’s how to get started for free ↓

1. Go to YouTube/Spotify

2. Go to search

3. Pick a word ↓ + add meditation + duration:

—> Gratitude
—> Breathwork
—> Detachment
—> Self-acceptance
—> Self-love
—> Visualization

Example: Gratitude mediation 5 minutes.

That’s it!

Happy Friday party people.

♻︎ Repost to spread this message in your network

—

Hey 🙋🏽‍♀️ Hope this was helpful.

I'm Emmaly, or Mally (what works for u)

Click my name + follow + 🔔

I’m a yogi with a body as stiff as a tennis racket. Here’s why I don’t care:

(and why you shouldn’t either)

TL;DR

1. Don’t let ANYONE decide what you can or can’t do
2. Beginners make the best teachers

—

I remember the first time I went to yoga.

Full on hated it.
Couldn’t cross my legs.

Let alone do any of the positions.

The yoga teacher gave me the ick too.
Judging me the whole class.

I felt the worst.

Still I gave yoga a second chance.

Honestly? Good yoga teachers are scarce.

They
—> focus too much on how it looks
—> forget what yoga is about

The headstands.
The legs in neck poses.

I can’t do any of that.

So what’s yoga about, really?

For me, it’s about keeping my anxiety low.

You can journal all you want.
And it works.

But you still stay stuck in your head.

Deadlines + worries take over.
Yoga takes you out.

The best news?

I found an awesome yoga that anyone can do.

So I decided to become a teacher in it.

Now I LOVE yoga.

Yeah, even though I still ‘suck’ at many positions.

Moral of the story?

1. Don’t let ANYONE decide what you can or can’t do

Maybe yoga is for you,
but you just haven’t found the right type yet.

2. Beginners make the best teachers

They understand what you’re going through
because they’ve been there.

—

Hey 🙋🏽‍♀️ Hope this was helpful!

I'm Emmaly, or Mally (what works for u)

Click my name + follow + 🔔

Annoying people don’t stress me.
They feed me. 

(lemme tell you why)

Forgiving people? 

I couldn’t do it.

What’s the point?
➝ They did me wrong
➝ They should say sorry

It was also in the little things.

I criticised and critiqued.

Everything needed to go my way.

It didn’t help anyone.

Especially not myself.

I was too afraid to share my irritations.

So it became an internal war.

I needed to stop that fight.

So I did.

Hella chill Mally at your service.

3 principles I live by today:

1. Life’s a mirror (and u know it)

If someone
➝ is being critical or rude
➝ does something I don’t approve of

I think:

Maybe -juuust maybe- this is a good thing.

An opportunity for me to grow.

➝ Am I angry about something?
➝ Am I approving or criticising myself?
➝ Is something inside me yelling for attention?

2. People just follow their manual

We all do.

It’s our belief system.
It tells you how to behave.

It’s how you see yourself.
(your Self-Concept)
And the world.

Most people aren’t aware of their manual.

Why does this matter?

Well it means that it isn’t about you.

All they do is follow the instruction.

That should feel freeing.

3. People want to be seen 👀

The loudest people? They’re probably projecting.

They feel like
➝ there's no space for them 
➝ nobody loves them

Instead of mocking them, I try to help. 

I visualise sending them love.

Yeah.
Sounds weird.

But works for me.

I even noticed big changes in people’s behavior.

Those are my 3 principles. 

Hope this helps.

Mally out.

🙋🏽‍♀️

♻︎ Repost for less stress in your network

2 tips to stop caring what people think (anxiety edition):


You’ve tried to be liked.
You’ve tried to fit in.

Maybe you have a good job.
Nice set of friends.
A partner, even.

Still it doesn’t feel.. right.

You’re stressed all the time.
Everything’s hard.

I’ve been where you’re at.

It was because:
—> I wanted to be liked badly 
—> I didn't know how to lower my anxiety

2 tips that should help you out with both:

1. Bring your focus back 

If you want to be liked,
you focus on others’ opinions.

You need to get that focus back to you.

Ask yourself: What’s important to me?

Maybe you want to be
—> free
—> creative
—> helping others

Find new ways to do just that.

Keep it simple + tiny:
—> start doodling
—> walk in grass barefoot
—> hold the door open for someone

2. Error 404: We're unsafe

After step 1 you may feel
—> stupid
—> anxious
—> uncomfortable

That’s bcs your body tries to protect you.
It sees the change as a threat.

But you ARE safe.
(No lion’s chasing you)

So, let’s remind your bod.

Look into a mirror and say:

"Hey, I know you're trying to protect me.
I'm just learning new things.
It's okay. I'm safe."

That's all for today. 

Play around with these.
Have fun.
Explore.

If you need help, DM me with 'Mally'.

P.S. Me in this pic: ''YES body, I’m really safe ;)''

___

Hey 🙋🏽‍♀️ Hope this was helpful!

I'm Emmaly, or Mally (what works for u)

Click my name + follow + 🔔

The worst thing for your mental health:


—> hanging with people you don’t like
—> going to places you don’t want to be

I used to do this all the time.

I drank like I loved it.
I partied like I loved it.
I gossiped like I loved it.

Sure sometimes I had the kick of it.

But most times?
I’d rather stayed home.

That’s not what I did.

I let it all drain me,
until I was mentally at my lowest.

I had panic attacks and hated myself. 

I needed change.

But change was SO damn scary.
—> what if I end up alone
—> better hold on to what I’ve got
—> I’m not liked by most people anyways

The 1 thing that changed it all:

Self-Concept.

SC is how you see yourself.
And in turn how you see the world.

The reason I struggled to make the right friends?

I didn’t SEE myself deserving of nice friends.

Here’s what I did:
1. Got aware of my SC
2. Created my ideal SC
3. Pinpointed what held me back

Now I:
—> Say no without guilt
—> Attract healthy friends
—> Spend time on things that matter

PLUS I learned to
—> let go of fear
—> stop comparing myself
—> have trust in the process

Result? → Emmaly 2.0

She’s a new person.

She’s… Mally.

P.S Ever meet someone and feel like you’ve known them for years?

That’s what I had with Magdalena. 

Thanks, SC.
__

If you’re reading this:
1. You’re a star. Comment ⭐️
2. Click my name + follow + 🔔

Bye bye now 🙋🏽‍♀️

If you think you’re a bad person, read this:

(this could change your life)

I used to have a bully in my mind 24/7.

I call her Nance.

I kicked Nance out long time ago.

Sometimes Nance’s back.
She drops some BS.

I don’t take it personal.

Nance’s welcome.
She can hang with me.

After a while though, she gotta go.

Nance’s fine with it.
She’s had her moment.

Ciao, Nance.

Listen up peeps.

Just because you
—> have negative thoughts
—> feel bad about who you are

Does NOT mean you’re a bad person.

Everything your brain (or Nance) says is just a story.

Let that sink in.

Just… a story.

All it is!

Best thing is ➝ you’re the story manager.

Instead of
—> accepting the story

Notice
—> how you FEEL during the story

Do you want more of those feels?

Yes —> let the story do its thang

No —> ask for another, better story

Bonus tip:

Try it first with a past event.

I’ll start.

I left my ex in 2018. 
I felt so bad for being alone. 

Looking back now, it 
—> boosted my confidence
—> made me who I am today

If I stayed,
—> I’d never started writing
—> I wouldn’t be able to help other people

So there you have it.

Remember ↓

1. It’s JUST a story
2. You’re the manager

Nance out.

Mally out.

P.S. It's Friday. Let’s get CRAZYY

—

If you’re reading this:
1. You’re a star. Comment ⭐️
2. Click my name + follow + 🔔

I may be a mental health baddie but imo working hard isn’t bad.

(a strange way to be more productive)

Hellooooo LinkedIn.

What’s popping?

Let’s get deep today.

You know what I’ve found?

Most people push themselves through life.

Controlling it all like…

I need a
➝ partner
➝ fit body
➝ tons of cash
➝ succesfull bis

Trying to reach it all ASAP.

Why?

Bcs they think it makes them happy.

Now that’s one BIG illusion.

Imo the biggest illusion of life.

First let me be clear.

Go after all these things.

Please work hard.
Nothing wrong with that.

Here’s what IS wrong:

This vibe ➝ if I have a X, THEN I’ll feel better about my life.

(X= partner, cash, fit body etc.)

Sure, you’ll feel good.
But it fades.

You’ll feel empty again.

So you’re onto achieving the next big goal.

This is what I call…

➝ chasing energy

It’s hella stressful and draining.

The good news?

You can turn this around.

Realise this today ↓

Goal X isn’t going to make you happy.

It’s an illusion.
➝ You think this because of society
➝ It’s conditioned into your brain

So what makes you happy?

Quite simple. 

➝ Focusing on where you are right now

Here’s how:

Make a firm decision today to see through the illusion.

↓ Move from

(business example)

What if..
➝ I’ll end up broke
➝ this never works
➝ people don’t like it

↓ To

I want to..
➝ help people the best I can
➝ create awesome products
➝ have FUN

You'll feel energised and more productive.

And if you tap back in chasing energy?

No worries.

A new mindset takes time.

So, rinse and repeat.

Once it clicks, your life will transform.

For good.

🙋🏽‍♀️

P.S. Mirror mirror on the wall, what’s the illusion of it all?

____

I'm Emmaly. 

Click my name + follow for more good stuff.

And then boom.
Tornado Monday hits.

To-do list longer than a phone book.

(What is a phone book)

This meeting s*cks.
I s*ck.

I do nothing.
Am I doing nothing?

I don’t have enough time.

Why am I so damn anxious all the time?

So much to do.
I need to take a break.

No not that long.

I should eat.
I want cookies.

No you can’t eat junk.

Coffee?
Already had 3.

Hm.

Sh*t another meeting.

...

If this Monday hits you like a tornado,

here's 2 things to remember:

1. You’re not a machine.

Look at your planner.

Did you put like a 100 things?

If you can move things to tomorrow, do it now.

Instead of going for a
—> busting my a$$ off planner

go for a
—> bare minimum planner

Do more by doing less.

2. You’re already crushing it.

You just forgot about it.

Here’s your reminder:

1. Close your eyes
2. Imagine yourself as a child
3. Look at the grown up version of you today
4. See yourself working, living, taking care of people
5. You may realise: I’m so proud of me. I’m doing everything I should.

This works because:

—> You see your achievements in another light

—> It shows where you pressure yourself

—> Now you can adjust thoughts + actions


There you go!

You just crushed Tornado Monday.

Congrats and bye bye 🙋🏽‍♀️

♻︎ Repost to spread this message in your network

A weird reason why you’re always tired:

- I’m ugly
- I hate my work
- Another day 🙄
- Nobody likes me
- This world is a mess
- I can’t do anything right

You push yourself through life.

Everyday.

Making you sick and tired.

All the damn time.

The world is big.
You are small.

Is there a way out?

Absolutely. 

You CAN live a life in which
- your anxiety is low
- you let go of perfectionism
- you stop caring what people think

You’ll find joy in every day,
even if it’s not perfect.

(whatever that means)

Will it require time and effort?

Sure.

Will it be worth it?

100%.

Best news?

I can help you out.

The keys lies in 
- understanding what anxiety is
- what the root cause is
- how to solve it

Result?

You start to live for YOU.

You become free.

Curious what I’m rambling about?

Check my featured section.

Struggling with anxiety? Don’t be like most people:


‘’Ugh, just ONE more coffee to get through this day’’

You know how that feels?

I know I do.

It’s such a draining state to be in.

Sad part?

Most people live like that.

They
→ have no idea who they are
→ give up on their dreams
→ are not themselves

It’s a life full of
→ stress (bad kind)
→ insecurity
→ anxiety

I know because I’ve been there.

You know what’s wild?

You can actually build a life you LOVE.

This is no Disney BS.

It’s 100% true.

The shift ↓

STOP
→ basing your actions on what other people think

START
→ listening to yourself and do what YOU think is right

How do you do this?

I have found self-concept to be the most effective method.

SC is how you see yourself.
And in turn how you see the world.

Realise this: Every part of your SC can be changed.

You can change
→ your words
→ your actions
→ your self-talk
→ your clothing
→ the places you go to
→ the content you look at
→ the people you hang out with

Your whole LIFE

My advice if you’re drained?

Start focusing on 1 of these.

When I was hella anxious I started with content.

I knew that content had a massive impact on my SC.

So I
→ started reading about mindset
→ lowered my news consumption
→ picked only 1 ‘junk’ show (RHOBH)
→ started listening to affirmations music

Then, I naturally moved onto self-talk and healing.

Later, I created my transformational self-concept method.

I let go of the fear and anxiety to be ME.

Now I truly know who I am.
How to express myself.
And what I want.

Self-concept changed my life.

I know it will change yours.

If you’re interested, book a call on my profile.

We can do this together.

I’m sure of it.

All the love,

Mally

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