Empowering female Directors to become successful VPs with my 7-step Passport to Promotion Framework | 10/12 women aiming for the VP role landed it in under 365 days, my about section shows you how to become the next.

👋 Hi, I’m Jill Avey, Founder of SisterSmart® . And I'm a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), Ivy League MBA graduate... and Leadership Mentor for ambitious women navigating the path to the C-suite.

I help high-achieving women break through the “Stuck VP” phase... and elegantly step into executive roles with clarity, confidence, and authenticity.

💡 Tell me if this sounds familiar:

You’re an accomplished VP or Director with years of hard-won results. But, despite your dedication... you still feel like you’re not being taken seriously.

You’re leading teams, handling high-visibility projects, and solving complex problems. Yet, vague feedback like “be more strategic” or “you need more executive presence” leaves you wondering what more you need to do.

You’re juggling critical responsibilities at work while balancing personal life... and the pressure feels relentless.

You know you’re capable of more. But, the self-doubt creeps in when stakes are high... and it feels like you’re constantly having to prove yourself.

If that sounds like you, know this: 

You’re not broken. You’re just in a system that wasn’t designed for women leaders.

That’s where I come in.

My Signature 7-Step Passport to Promotion™ Framework: 

I combine neuroscience-based leadership strategies with real-world experience to help you move from stuck to unstoppable. 

The 7 Steps:

1. Self-Leadership: Build resilience and confidence
2. Brain-Based Communication: Develop your executive presence and influence 
3. Intentional Career Planning: Create a strategic plan for your career 
4. Confidence Without Burnout: Learn how to advocate for yourself 
5. Authentic Leadership: Lead in a way that’s true to you
6. Mindset Mastery: Break free from imposter syndrome and self-doubt
7. Support Network: Connect with a community of like-minded women

Real Results:

Over 180 clients have secured VP and C-suite roles in healthcare, tech, and finance—often within just months of completing the program.

They report feeling more confident, visible, and valued—and see real results in compensation, influence, and career satisfaction.

🏆 Why Work With Me? I’ve actually been in your shoes. 

After 25 years as a corporate executive, I know what it’s like to navigate high-stakes leadership while balancing personal ambitions and professional expectations. My approach is research-backed, heart-led, and rooted in real experience.

I believe you deserve a leadership journey that’s both successful and sustainable. And I’m here to help you build it.

📩 Send me a DM: Let’s build your path to the C-suite together.

Stop chasing a job. Start pursuing yourself. 

7 Reflections to find clarity in your career. 
 
If you’re feeling lost, pause and reflect. 

** This post is from my friend Rachel Park. Give her a follow for career advancement without sacrificing wellbeing. 
 
The problem might not be the job. 
It could be that you’ve lost sight of yourself. 
 
We often focus on titles or promotions. 

But we forget to ask the real question: 
What do I really want? 

Here are 7 things to reflect on to reconnect with your career goals:
 
➊ Find What Fulfils You 
 ⇢ Reflect on when work excites and energizes you. 
 ⇢ Focus on your strengths and passions. 
 
➋ Disconnect from Expectations 
 ⇢ Are you following your own path or others’? 
 ⇢ Ask yourself what you’d do without judgment. 
 
➌ Take Small, Unconventional Steps 
 ⇢ Experiment with new projects and side hobbies. 
 ⇢ Clarity comes through taking small, bold actions. 
 
➍ Redefine Success 
 ⇢ Define success based on what matters to you. 
 ⇢ Pursue what aligns with your values and goals. 
 
➎ Give Yourself Permission to Change
 ⇢ Careers are not linear; it’s okay to pivot. 
 ⇢ Shifting paths doesn’t mean you’ve failed. 
 
❻ Reconnect with Your Values 
 ⇢ Identify your core values and past alignment. 
 ⇢ Use values as a compass for career decisions. 
 
❼ Seek Advice but Trust Yourself 
 ⇢ Get guidance, but trust your gut first. 
 ⇢ Ultimately, only you know what’s right for you. 

If you’re a woman director debating whether to chase the next internal promotion, jump companies, or quit the field entirely, it could be a good time to reach out to a professional for guidance on how to get clear on your next steps. 

I see so many people throwing in the towel altogether when the solution can be one simple pivot. 

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲:
💬 Send me a DM with “journal prompts” for a list of prompts that you can use to explore each point here. 

Quote Credit: @elevated.states

♻️ Repost to help others in your network
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Jill Avey

Helping High-Achieving Women Get Seen, Heard, and Promoted | Proven Strategies to Stop Feeling Invisible at the Leadership Table 💎 Fortune 100 Coach | ICF PCC-Level Women's Leadership Coach

The people who rise fastest?
They stop waiting. And start building:

You see…

No one is coming to save you.
Not your boss.
Not HR.
Not your mentor.

You’ve probably been hoping they would.
But they won’t.

Maybe that truth lands like a stone in your chest.

You’ve worked hard. 
You’ve delivered results.
And somewhere along the way, you expected that excellence would be enough.

But after nine years coaching leaders and working with over 200 clients, here’s what I’ve learned:

👉 Your success will only rise as high as your emotional development allows.

The patterns are unmistakable:

• People who wait for their company to invest in them never rise to senior leadership.
• People who skip the hard work of developing emotional intelligence might climb the ladder… but they top out. And often fall hard.

The numbers are stark:
• 40–50% of executives fail
• 30–40% are mediocre
• Only 10–20% are truly successful

You won’t land in that top tier by waiting for permission.

So what do you do instead?
You start now. With these 5 moves:

⏲️ Block 30 minutes a week to invest in yourself.
➙ Put it on your calendar. Protect it like a meeting with your CEO.

❓ Ask for real feedback—not the polished kind.
➙ Try: “What’s one thing I do that holds me back?”

😫 Name the emotional habit that's limiting you.
➙ Avoiding conflict? Needing to be liked? That’s your next growth edge.

🔎 Study someone 3 steps ahead of you.
➙ Watch how they lead. Ask them one question about their journey.

💰 Put actual money toward your development.
➙ A course, a coach, a book. When you pay, you pay attention.

Your company might invest in you eventually.

But by then, you’ll already be the leader they’re looking for.

Because you didn’t wait for someone to hand you a development plan.

You built yourself into someone worth investing in.

♻️ Repost to help your network stop waiting and start building.
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Kindness in leadership isn’t soft. 
It’s how the best teams win.

It’s good strategy because fear always runs out of fuel.

I see it every week in coaching sessions.
A talented director shares the same story:
– Their boss still leads like it’s 1985.
– The one who believes pressure creates diamonds.
– Who micromanages at 10PM.
– Who confuses intimidation with inspiration.

And here’s what breaks my heart:
These leaders genuinely believe it works.
They count hours and mistakes.
They mistake compliance for commitment.

But they’re wrong.

What they don’t see:
➝  Innovation dying in draft folders
➝  Talent polishing resumes after a demoralizing meeting
➝  Energy spent managing fear, not solving problems
➝  Trust evaporating with every harsh email

(Ready to move up? Take the VP Readiness Quiz: https://lnkd.in/gtMw9CzG)

Human-centered leadership isn’t a trend.
It’s how high-performing cultures actually work.

🔸 When you replace micromanagement with empowerment;
➝ people stop waiting for permission
🔸 When you swap unrealistic demands for stretch goals;
➝ your team aims higher
🔸 When you develop underperformers instead of tolerating them;
➝ everyone wins

The old way treated people like problems to monitor.
The new way sees them as partners to empower.

I’ve watched directors in fear-based cultures come alive under a leader who gets this.
Their confidence returns.
Their ideas flow.
Their careers take off because someone finally saw the human behind the role.

Leadership rooted in empathy, clarity, and courage doesn’t just feel better.
It performs better.

The culture you create today determines the talent you keep tomorrow.


♻️ Repost to help your network rethink what strong leadership actually looks like
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Want 106% more energy on your team?

Stop saying 'ASAP.'
Start saying this…

In meetings across corporate America, I see the same pattern:
One manager puts everyone on edge with, “No offense, but…”

The conversation stalls.

Another manager asks, “Can I offer a different view and why I’m leaning that way?”

(If you want to build stronger relationships get my free PDF to guide your next meeting: https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm)

The room leans in. People contribute. Next steps emerge.

Same moment.
Different language.
Different outcome.

This isn’t about being nicer or softer. It’s about translation that turns defensiveness into partnership.

Here’s how to close this gap in the moments that matter:

➊ Turns urgency into a clear agreement.

➙ Instead of: “Do it ASAP.”
➙ Try: “Can you deliver by Friday at 2 pm? If not, what’s realistic?”

➋ Invites learning and forward motion.

➙ Instead of: “We already tried that.”
➙ Try: “What could we try differently? What’s changed since last time?”

➌ Connects decisions to strategy, not authority.

➙ Instead of: “Because leadership said so.”
➙ Try: “Here’s the rationale and how it ties to our goals.”

➍ Shifts from blame to clarity.

➙ Instead of: “You should have known that.”
➙ Try: “I should have clarified expectations. Let’s align and set checkpoints.”

➎ Validates and surfaces useful data.

➙ Instead of: “You’re overreacting.”
➙ Try: “This matters to you. What are the risks you’re seeing?”

Notice how each translation moves from control to collaboration.
From heat to curiosity.
From tasks to shared ownership.
When you change the language, you change the relationship.

And when relationships improve, execution speeds up.

Leaders in our Sisters In Leadership program report that adopting these translations reduces conflict and increases follow-through within weeks.

P.S. What phrase do you wish leaders would stop saying immediately?

👍 If this resonated, drop a like or share a line you plan to use.
Follow me, Jill Avey, for practical strategies to accelerate your leadership career.

Your career isn’t built by your work alone.
It’s built by the people who bet on you before the results prove them right.

I think about the boss who fought for my VP promotion.
I didn’t know it was happening. While I was focused on delivering results, he was in closed-door meetings advocating for me; pushing back on objections, pointing out what I’d already accomplished, making the case when I couldn’t.
That promotion didn’t come from performance alone. 
It came from advocacy.

(Know you are executive material but not sure if you are ready yet? https://lnkd.in/gtMw9CzG)

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Your work opens doors. But champions walk you through them.
Performance gets you noticed. Advocacy gets you promoted.
Mentors advise you and sponsors advance you. 
They use their influence in conversations you’ll never hear. 
They put your name on tables you’re not sitting at yet.

Real support isn’t a crown in front of an entire sales meeting for your hard work. 
It happens in budget meetings, succession plans, and quiet leadership discussions about who’s ready for what’s next.
You can’t build this alone. And you shouldn’t have to.
Stop trying to earn your way up through sheer effort. Start building relationships with people who have the influence to open doors you can’t unlock yourself.
The relationships that matter most don’t just feel good.
They change what’s possible for your career.

♻️ Repost to help others create their network of support
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If saying “no” feels dangerous at work, it’s not in your head.
It’s the fastest way to get labeled difficult, unhelpful… or even unpromotable.

You know you need to say no.

You are stretched too thin and taking on more busy work will only pull you further from your career goals.

But when you try to set boundaries, something feels off.

– You worry you sound selfish
– You see disappointment in their eyes
– You second-guess yourself

Here’s what most people miss about saying no at work.

The typical advice about boundaries ignores a critical reality:

Women are socialized to be helpful, pleasing, and supportive of others.
These patterns run deep in all of us.

Men often say no without consequences.
Women? Penalized. Especially when they’ve always been the one who says yes.

So when you say no in a way that sounds like you’re only protecting yourself, it bumps against ancient expectations.

Both men and women react negatively, often without realizing why.

(Want the exact scripts? Grab the free playbook here: https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm)

The solution is simpler than you think:

💡 Flip your language from self-focus to team-focus.

Because here’s the truth: setting good boundaries always benefits others.

When you protect your capacity, you do your best work.
When you delegate strategically, you develop your team.
When you say no to the wrong things, you say yes to what matters most.

Reframe your requests:

💡 Instead of declining for yourself, redirect toward team growth.
💡 Instead of protecting your time alone, protect the team’s success.
💡 Instead of shutting the door, open it for others to step up.

This approach keeps the door open for your promotion while signaling that you think like a strategic leader.

You don’t have to risk your likability to set boundaries.

Start with one request this week.
Reframe it through the team lens and notice what changes.

Your capacity matters because your impact matters.

🔖 Save this for the next time you want to say “no”
Follow me, Jill Avey, for more leadership insights.

Grab the reframes to set your next boundary with ease:
https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm

Some people see only the ordinary.

Some people see the possibility.

** This post is from my friend Linda Reddy, follow her to get inspired about leadership (she’s pretty awesome)

Steve Jobs said it best: “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”

Innovation doesn’t come from blending in — it comes from seeing differently. 

But that perspective is rarely comfortable. It is often questioned, sometimes dismissed, and almost always misunderstood.


🔸 Most people see risk — innovators see opportunity.
🔸 Most people follow the rulebook — innovators rewrite it.
🔸 Most people carry the same umbrella — innovators choose one that stands out.
🔸 Most people wait for approval — innovators move before the crowd understands.


Perspective fuels innovation because it:
▪️Connects dots others can’t.
▪️Reveals patterns hidden in plain sight.
▪️Turns uncertainty into possibility.
▪️Elevates the ordinary into the extraordinary.

The truth is:
▪️Conformity feels safe, but it keeps you stuck.
▪️Innovation feels risky, but it moves the world forward.
▪️Authenticity may not be understood today, but it is remembered tomorrow.


💡 The future doesn’t belong to those who see only the ordinary. It belongs to those bold enough to imagine possibility and brave enough to act on it.

Do you want to create new opportunities in the age of AI? My framework will help you to identify the strengths and skills that you can bring forward to create a career you can rely on. 

Join my upcoming workshop: 
Future Proof Your Career
Dec 5th, 8-10 PT / 11-1 ET
https://lnkd.in/guFrgYGc

— 

Follow me, Jill Avey for more future proofing for your career

Starting is tougher than finishing.

Here’s a tactic everyone should keep in their productivity toolkit.
It’s grounded in psychology.

This post is from my friend Wendy Cole.
(follow her to stay productive)

Adriene, from the free YouTube yoga sessions, often begins with:
“Congratulations. The hardest part is done. You showed up.”

She’s right.
It’s usually not the doing that’s hard.
It’s the starting.

Here’s the tactic: instead of aiming to finish, just aim to begin.

✅ Set things up the night before
✅ Create the doc/spreadsheet/file
✅ Drop in a placeholder paragraph from a related project
✅ Or ask GenAI for a first draft of one small section
✅ Timebox the doing on your calendar for tomorrow.

That’s it. Zero pressure.
Psychologists call it the 𝗭𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗸 𝗘𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁.

Our brains dislike unfinished business. Once you begin, your mind naturally wants to keep going.
Even a tiny setup the night before makes a real difference.
By morning, you’re already halfway in… and ready to Eat That Frog.

Want to make it even easier? Try this:

✳️ Move your phone out of sight and out of reach
✳️ Expect the first 15 minutes to feel hardest (dopamine needs time to rise)
✳️ Put on headphones with 40Hz binaural beats to enter flow
✳️ Count yourself in with: “3…2…1…Get it done”
✳️ Reward progress with a coffee ☕ or a downward dog. 😊

We all have those tasks we avoid. One of my coaching clients calls them his “smelly tasks.”
The problem is they weigh us down far more than we realize.

Go on. 
Lighten the load. 
Start small.
Let momentum carry the rest.

♻️ Repost to help others tackle those lingering ‘smelly’ tasks 
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And if you’re looking for a simple way to add more movement and energy to your day, I highly recommend Yoga With Adriene.

10 signs you’re close to leadership…
but not quite ready (yet).

That next title might look great on your profile.
But the real question isn’t “Do you want to lead?”
It’s “Are you ready?”

-------------------------------------------------
If you want to improve your ability to move up to the next level, grab my FREE 8 page guide: https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm
-------------------------------------------------

Most people chase the promotion.
Few build the readiness that makes it stick.

If you’re serious about growing into leadership (not just landing the title) start by spotting your blind spots.

Here are 10 signs you might need more stretch before you step up 👇

🚩 You chase the title, not the capabilities that deserve it.
🚩 You stall when facts are missing—forgetting clarity is rare at the top.
🚩 You dodge hard feedback, preserving ease over their potential.
🚩 You hear critique as a personal slight, not a strategic lever.
🚩 You smooth over tension, trading truth for temporary calm.
🚩 You rely on praise to feel capable, not on grounded self-trust.
🚩 You get annoyed when others don’t think like you do.
🚩 You prioritize control over achieving shared outcomes.
🚩 You guard your image more than you fight for your team.
🚩 You wait for direction on your growth instead of defining it.

Spotting these blind spots early is the difference between struggling as a new leader and thriving from day one.

Leadership readiness isn’t about ambition.
It’s about your ability to expand past comfort.

(Ready to move up? Take the VP Readiness Quiz: https://lnkd.in/gtMw9CzG)

♻️ Repost to help others in your network
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10 Signs You're Not Ready to Lead (yet)

When I was a Director, my sister looked at me with genuine frustration and said:
"It just feels like all you want is more and more money."

I sat there, trying to figure out how to explain myself. How to make her understand.

Like my ambition was something to be ashamed of.

Because you know what?
Yes. I wanted more money.

I wanted to walk through the grocery store without that constant mental calculator running.
I wanted to look at my student loans without my stomach dropping.
I wanted to actually believe I might retire someday.

But here's what she couldn't see:

That promotion wasn't just about the paycheck.

I'd been carrying this whisper inside me for years.
This quiet knowing that I had something real to offer as a leader.

That VP title wasn't about ego.
It was about finally, finally getting the chance to prove to myself that I wasn't making it all up.

It was validation.
The organization saying "we see you" in a way that actually meant something.

And yes, that matters.
Because in corporate culture title matters.

Your title literally determines which conversations you're part of, which problems you get to solve, whose voices quiet down when you start talking.

What I've learned since then:

Your hunger for more isn't greed. It's growth.
When people reduce your ambition to materialism, they're revealing their own ceiling, not yours.

Financial success isn't unfeminine.

Men are applauded for salary negotiations.
Women are labeled 'money hungry.' It’s time we reject that narrative.

We need leaders like you.

If you sense you have a gift for strategic leadership, pursuing VP isn't ego.
It's stewardship of your abilities.

Validation from your organization matters.

It's not weak to want your company to recognize your value. That's literally how careers work.

The people who love you most don't always understand you best.

My sister loves me.

She also couldn't imagine wanting what I wanted.
Both of those things are true, and I made peace with that.

Your journey to VP will be misunderstood.
Your ambition will be mislabeled.
Your desire for more will be questioned.

Keep walking anyway.

Because that promotion you're chasing?
It's not only about what you'll earn.
It's about who you'll become.

♻ Repost to remind a woman leader that wanting more isn't something to apologize for.
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How to earn respect in every room (fast)

8 habits that make people trust your leadership in seconds

Looking polished is about more than a fancy title; it’s about showing up with intention when it matters most.

Many capable professionals chip away at their authority through unnoticed habits.

That’s why this topic is central in our leadership coaching: it shapes every interaction.

(If you want to look more professional, grab my FREE 8 page guide to executive presence: https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm)

When my clients use these 8 habits, they build trust from the start:

➊ Know your numbers
» Few things signal “not ready to lead” like making it up on the fly.

➋ Sharpen your language
» Each filler word subtly undercuts your presence.

➌ Command your space
» Your body language makes the first impression.

➍ Start with structure
» A clear flow earns instant confidence.

➎ Polish like it’s for the CEO
» Sloppy details quietly erode credibility.

➏ Guard time like money
» Going over time isn’t thorough — it’s inconsiderate.

➐ Respond with calm, not speed
» Staying composed always beats reacting fast.

➑ Make it personal
» Use names. Hold eye contact. Build connection.

Professionalism isn’t perfection.

It’s consistent, deliberate habits that build trust.

Choose one to practice this week — that’s how respect grows.

If you feel ready to move up, take the VP Readiness Quiz to find out where you stand: https://lnkd.in/gtMw9CzG

♻️ Repost to help others in your network
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No one teaches this in leadership programs

You're delivering the work.
But are you using the language that gets you promoted?

The executive translation gap leaves talented women stuck.

In senior meetings across corporate America, I see the same pattern:
A leader presents detailed metrics on her project: deadlines met, resources optimized, roadblocks cleared.

The executive team nods politely.
Then they move on.

Another leader shares similar results but opens with: "We've built a repeatable process that will save $2M annually while positioning us for the Asia expansion."

The room sits forward.
Same work.
Different wording.
Different reaction.

This isn't about bravado or competence.
It's about translation.

(Speak the language of an executive, grab my free PDF to plan your next meeting: https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm)

Most accomplished women share what we did. Executives care about what it means for the business.

Here's how to close this critical gap:

1. Start with business impact, not process
➙ Instead of: "My team completed the customer survey analysis."
➙ Try: "We've identified three opportunities to increase retention by 5% next quarter."

2. Connect your work to company priorities
➙ Instead of: "We launched the new training program."
➙ Try: "We've built internal capability that reduces our reliance on external consultants, supporting our cost-reduction goals."

3. Quantify outcomes beyond your direct control
➙ Instead of: "I led cross-functional meetings to align teams."
➙ Try: "By establishing governance across four departments, we've removed decision bottlenecks affecting 200+ employees."

4. Frame achievements as forward indicators
➙ Instead of: "The project came in under budget."
➙ Try: "Our approach demonstrated scalable efficiency we can apply to the upcoming enterprise initiative."

5. Position yourself through your insights
➙ Instead of: "I noticed a trend in our customer data."
➙ Try: "I recognized a pattern that reveals a strategic opportunity for our Asia growth markets."

Notice how each translation shifts from tactical reporting to strategic framing.

From what occurred to what it means.
From tasks to insight.
From execution to leadership.

This isn't about embellishment.
It's about clearly connecting your contributions to the business outcomes that senior leaders actually value.

When you translate your achievements into executive language, you're not merely communicating differently. You're positioning yourself differently.

As someone who thinks at the next level. As someone prepared to lead at the next level.

Directors and VPs in our Sisters In Leadership program consistently report that mastering this translation is a key accelerator for their visibility and promotion.

👍 If this resonated, drop me a like or leave a comment
Follow me, Jill Avey, for more strategies to advance your leadership career

I used to wake up at 3 am ruminating. 

But I broke that pattern. 
And now I sleep through the night. 

Overthinking drains your energy. 
And clouds your judgment. 
Even if it feels better in the moment.

(Break free from overthinking with my free guide: https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm)

But the good news is you don’t have to stay stuck in that cycle.

↓ ↓
Here are 10 simple but powerful strategies that are scientifically proven to help you stop overthinking and regain composure:

1. 𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆
→ Instead of trying to avoid your worries, have a “worry session”.
✍️ Write down your thoughts to bring clarity and calm.

2. 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
→ Break the loop of repetitive thoughts by reflecting on what you can control.
❓Ask, “What’s really bothering me?” to reframe the situation.

3. 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗼𝗿
→ Create distance between you and your thoughts by using humor.
🙊 Try something like, “Thanks, mind; that’s helpful!” and use the ‘silly voice’ trick from CBT.

4. 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀
→ Overthinking narrows your focus to just one aspect of reality.
❓Step back and ask, “What else is true?” to see the bigger picture.

5. 𝗧𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲
→ Avoid using extreme words like “always” or “never.”
🗣️ Try: “This is tough, but I can improve.”

6. 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀
❓Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me?” ask “What can I learn from this?”
→ This will open your mind to new possibilities.

7. 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀
→ Shift your focus from ‘fear ‘to ‘hope’.
❓Replace “What if I mess up?” with “What if I learn and grow from this?”

8. 𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵
→ Deep, slow breaths calm your nervous system.
😮‍💨 Inhale for 2 counts, holding, exhaling for 4 counts; repeating 3 times.

9. 𝗚𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸
→ Nature grounds and reminds us that there is more to life.
🌳 Go outside, walk, or sit in a park to reset your thoughts.

10. 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
→ Stop the cycle by taking small, actionable steps.
❓Ask, “What’s the smallest thing I can do right now?” Create an “I CAN” list.

Overthinking doesn’t have to keep you from getting a good night’s sleep. 
Or, being present from your loves ones. 

Start with one of these today. 

🔖 Save this for the next time you have something on your mind. 
Follow me, Jill Avey for more leadership insights


Want a high res version of this? 
Get my Leadership Playbook with this and other helpful guides: https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm

Early in my leadership career, I thought I was nailing it. 
Turns out, I was just leading a team of polite pretenders.

My meetings ran like clockwork. 
Everyone nodded at my ideas. 
No one pushed back. 

I walked out feeling efficient, effective, even a little proud.

I was also completely wrong.

What I mistook for alignment was actually silence.

People weren't agreeing with me. 
They were just waiting until after the meeting to voice their real concerns to each other. 

That’s where the actual decisions got questioned, dissected, and quietly undermined.

I wasn't leading. I was performing.

(If you want your next meeting to spark real dialogue, not silent nods, download the Playbook: https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm)

Here's what I've learned about healthy conflict since then:

🤔 Disagreement in the room beats resentment in the hallway.
➙ When your team holds back concerns during meetings, those issues don't disappear. They multiply in private conversations and slow down execution.

🤔 Conflict helps you see around corners.
➙ The roadblocks your project will hit? Your team already knows what they are. But only if you create space for them to speak up.

🤔 Frontline voices catch what strategy misses.
➙ The people closest to the work often see problems that never make it to your level. Healthy conflict gives them permission to raise those flags early.

🤔 The best decisions require friction.
➙ When everyone immediately agrees, you're either surrounded by yes-people or you've created a culture where disagreement feels unsafe.

I had to unlearn the idea that a good leader has all the answers. 

A good leader creates the conditions where the best answer can emerge from the team.

That meant getting comfortable with tension.
– Asking “what am I missing?” and waiting for the answer.
– Rewarding the person who respectfully pushed back.

In SisterSmart coaching, we use the Conversational Intelligence framework to surface healthy conflict without triggering defensiveness. 

Because healthy conflict isn’t about being combative.

It’s about being curious enough to hear what you don’t want to hear.

Start small: In your next meeting, ask one question that invites disagreement.
Then wait. Long enough for someone to actually answer it.

🔖 Save this for the next time you need to hear what’s not being said.
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You walk out of the meeting replaying it in your head.
What you said... What you didn’t say...
That comment you wish you could take back.

High-stakes meetings don’t just test your ideas; they test your presence.

And credibility is built (or quietly lost) through a few subtle communication habits most people never notice.

Our SisterSmart Communication Coach, Clerisa Varghese shows us how to do better.

Here are 3 habits that quietly kill credibility in senior-level meetings and how to fix them 👇

1️⃣ Over-apologizing before you speak

“Sorry, this might be obvious, but…”
You’ve signaled doubt before you’ve even made your point.

Instead: Lead with your insight.
➙ “Here’s what I’m seeing…”
You don’t need permission to have perspective.

2️⃣ Burying your recommendation in explanation

You walk people through every detail.
By the time you reach your point, attention’s gone.

Instead: Start with your conclusion.
➙ “My recommendation is X, and here’s why.”
Leaders want the answer first, context second.

3️⃣ Asking permission to contribute

“Can I just add something quickly?”
You’re treating your seat at the table like a favor.

Instead: Step in with authority.
➙ “Building on that…” or “Another angle to consider…”
You earned your seat. Use it! 

Small shifts in language create big shifts in perception.
When you stop diluting your ideas mid-sentence, people start hearing you as the strategic leader you already are.

💡 Save this before your next exec meeting
Follow me, Jill Avey for more leadership insights

How to Speak So Senior Leaders Actually Listen

Why "nice" leaders get overlooked
And kind ones get promote

Growing up, I was taught to be nice. It’s highly valued in the indirect style of our Seattle culture. 

I remember the scowl on the CEO’s face when I was interviewing at Pepsi and I said that someone I worked with was “nice”. Even though I knew I had made a misstep, in my mind it was the highest compliment.

But nice doesn't get you to the C-suite.
I had yet to learn the difference between “nice” and “kind”.

Nice is:
• Avoiding conflict
• Saying yes to everything
• Prioritizing being liked over being effective

Kind is:
• Setting clear boundaries
• Having difficult conversations
• Making tough decisions that benefit the team

The difference matters more than you think.
(Ready to move up to VP? Take the VP Readiness Quiz: https://lnkd.in/gtMw9CzG)

Here's how to shift from nice to kind:

1️⃣ Replace "yes" with thoughtful consideration
⇢ "I need to review my priorities before committing"
⇢ "Let me get back to you by end of day"

2️⃣ Deliver feedback directly
⇢ Nice avoids the issue
⇢ Kind addresses it promptly with compassion

3️⃣ Make decisions with conviction
⇢ Nice leaders waffle to please everyone
⇢ Kind leaders decide with clarity, explain their reasoning

4️⃣ Set boundaries on your time
⇢ Block focused work time on your calendar
⇢ Communicate when you're unavailable (and why)

5️⃣ Disagree respectfully in meetings
⇢ "I see this differently, and here's why..."
⇢ "I'd like to offer another perspective"

I've coached dozens of women who were passed over for promotion despite excellent performance.

The feedback they received was about their perceived inability to make tough calls.
When they shifted from nice to kind, their careers accelerated.
People respect what you're willing to stand for, not what you're willing to tolerate.

➤ Share this with someone who is a kind leader
💬 Wondering how this could work for your situation? DM me and let’s talk

Stop bracing for impact.

Start asking for direction.

You walk into your performance review already bracing for impact.

Your manager starts with “areas for improvement,” and your chest tightens. You nod along, take notes, and leave the meeting feeling smaller than when you walked in.

(Ready to move up? Take the VP Readiness Quiz: https://lnkd.in/gtMw9CzG)

You don’t have to sit there and take it.

🔸 Why Traditional Feedback Fails
– It puts you in a passive role
– Your brain hears “threat” and shuts down
– You leave unclear on what to do differently

You're not learning. You're surviving.

🔸 Why Feedforward Works Better
– Focuses on possibility, not failure
– Activates your problem-solving brain
– Leaves you energized with clear next steps

This is neuroscience.
Feedforward lights up the prefrontal cortex (planning center), not the amygdala (threat center). You become adaptive, creative, ready.

🔸 How to Redirect Feedback

❌ Instead of this:
"You missed deadlines last quarter."
🟢 Try this:
"What systems or support would help me manage deadlines more effectively?"

❌ Instead of this:
"You need to be more strategic."
🟢 Try this:
"What would strategic thinking look like in my role? Can you give me an example?"

❌ Instead of this:
"You need executive presence."
🟢 Try this:
"What specific behaviors would you like to see in the next leadership meeting?"

You're not rejecting feedback. You're translating it into growth.

Even if your manager isn't used to giving feedforward, you can lead the shift. Start by asking:

“Before we dive into last quarter, can we talk about what success looks like this year?”

Watch the energy change.

Have you ever tried asking for feedforward instead of feedback?

🔖 Save this for your next career conversation
Follow me, Jill Avey for more leadership insights

You can be brilliant.
And still be seen as "just tactical."

You know what you're capable of…

But when conversation shifts to strategy, you feel people look past you.

That gap between your skill and how strategic you appear has nothing to do with your intelligence.

It's about 5 specific shifts in how you approach your work.

(If you want to be a more strategic leader, grab my 6 page guide: https://lnkd.in/gZJrJxhm)

The difference between being seen as tactical and being seen as strategic:

🔸 Mindset
Be a person who happens to the world, not the other way around.

🔸 Insight
Talk to the extremes, not the averages.

🔸 Impact
Find your constraint. Your priorities will follow.

🔸 Influence
Ask for edits, not approval.

🔸 Innovation
Use constraints to get different, not just better.

These aren't big overhauls.

They're redirects in how you think, what you prioritize, and how you bring people along.

Because strategic thinking isn't reserved for people with certain titles. It's a practice anyone can build.

Start with one shift.
The rest will compound.

♻️ If you find this framework for helpful, repost to help others in your network
🔔 Follow me, Jill Avey for more leadership insights

 5 ways to show up more strategically at work

Anand N.

The most exhausting part of being a woman isn’t work. 

It’s the impossible standard.

On Angela Lee's podcast, we talked about a feeling so many women carry quietly:

That constant feeling you’re failing — when you’re not.

Not because you dropped the ball.
But because you’re measuring yourself against a scorecard no one can win.

And it’s everywhere.

– You didn’t fail because you missed the school play.
– You didn’t fail because you prioritized the board meeting.
– You didn’t fail because your inbox was still full at 9 PM.

Somewhere along the way, we started calling every imperfection failure.

We make trade-offs. 
We miss moments. 
We can’t be everywhere.

But that’s not failure.
That’s life.

What Angela and I explored was this 👇

✅ Missing a soccer game isn’t failure.
✅ Choosing store-bought cupcakes isn’t failure.
✅ Having a full, meaningful life isn’t failure.

𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀:
→ Living by someone else’s definition of “having it all.”
→ Letting perfectionism erase the beauty of the life you’re building.
→ Measuring your worth in micro-moments instead of seeing yourself whole.

So what if we changed the language?

→ What if we stopped calling it failure when we made a choice?
→ What if we celebrated what we’re building, even when it’s messy?
→ What if we saw the full picture, not just the parts we got “wrong”?

I’m not asking you to lower your standards.
I’m asking you to raise your compassion.

For the woman doing her best.
For the leader making impossible trade-offs.
For the human who is so much more than any single moment.

You’re not failing.
You’re showing up.
Building something that matters.
Raising humans.
Leading teams.
Making a difference.

That’s not failure.
That’s a full, beautiful life.

🌀 Know a leader who needs this reminder? Send it their way.

P.S. What would shift if you stopped measuring your worth by what you missed and started honoring what you’ve built?

Listen to the full episode here: https://lnkd.in/eW6-iEyD

Follow me, Jill Avey for more leadership insights

The biggest challenge no one is ready for: your leadership role is about to change forever.

Not because you aren’t capable; 
but because AI is quietly taking over the parts of your job that used to prove your value.

If you’ve felt that low hum of anxiety about staying relevant, you’re not alone.

The ground is shifting fast and new research shows exactly which skills will keep you irreplaceable.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗔𝗜 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿:
• Data analysis and decision support
• Routine operational decisions
• Performance monitoring and reporting
• Resource allocation and optimization

⚠️ Technical skills now have a half-life of just four years (down from ten in the 1980s… soon to be two).

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲:
The leaders who thrive aren’t the ones with the deepest technical knowledge.

They’re the ones with strong foundational skills that AI can’t replace:

🔸 Problem-solving
🔸 Clear communication
🔸 Collaboration and trust-building

Ask yourself: Which of these are you developing right now? 

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗱𝗼:
• Build trust and psychological safety
• Coach and develop your team
• Collaborate across functions
• Influence without authority
• Navigate ambiguity with judgment
• Create meaning and purpose

💡 AI can analyze data. Only you can inspire belief.

𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳:
Google’s Project Oxygen found that their best managers excel at coaching, communication, and cross-team collaboration — not technical expertise.

Companies can’t afford isolated experts. They need connectors.

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀:
1/  Review last week’s calendar.
2/  Highlight tasks AI could do.
3/  Circle where only you added human value.

That gap? That’s your career vulnerability.

⭕ Stop trying to outwork the algorithms.
🟢 Start becoming more human in how you lead.

If you want help mapping which skills to develop next, I’m running a live workshop on Dec 5th to build your personal AI-proof plan. (Registration opens Friday.)

♻️ Repost to help your network future-proof their careers.
Follow me, Jill Avey, for future proofing insights.

Research: 
https://lnkd.in/g6x_69sD
https://lnkd.in/ghwKRdPh
https://lnkd.in/gv3pM9K7

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