Metaverse

Virtually the most important man at the company. Actually probably in the top 40%. Mostly manage the scheduled deliveries of virtual water and food to the office, ensure the virtual cleaners are in, replace the virtual stationery, and turn off the lights when all the avatars have left.

Achievements:
- The Sims.
- Engineered a little slingshot on my desk with paperclips and a rubber band.

Virtual Office Manager

Subway

Ruled over central Wisconsin's finest sandwich restaurants with an iron fist and a wooden ruler. Too short? You're fired. Too long? Start nibbling.

Achievements
- Successfully held back the Meatless Meatball Marinara launch for 2 years.
- Watched all of the Sopranos.

Length Inspector

Von Dutch Originals

I wore many hats in this role but essentially I just ensured that Von Dutch was always top of mind and tip of the tongue.

Achievements:
- Non-Dutch employee of the year.
- Did a really nice kickflip one time.

Director of Relevance

Republican Party of Pennsylvania

Pointing, winking, yeehaw-ing, clapping and generally just getting people amped to get down the ballot box and cheer on those reds!

Achievements:
- Longest ears.
- Best Republican in Pennsylvania 2005 (applause-o-meter).

Hype Man

I've been on a break in the lost city of Macchu Pichu sipping ayahuasca cocktails and pondering over life.

My spirit animal -an old horse- came to me after my 3rd drink and whispered, "Invest in the metaverse".

It was an intensily moving moment that deeply shook me. Why hadn't I thought about it before? I mean, what better investment than make-believe real estate and luxury services?

I'll be hiring avatars in the following sectors: HR, finance, property management, sales and hospitality, among others.

If you're an avatar recruiter, pls get in contact with my peeps.

Taplio

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Taplio

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