Katrijn van Oudheusden

Exploring practical, empirical nonduality at DailyNonduality.org

author | writer | nondual inquiry guide (pro bono)

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Non-duality means “not-two”.
It points to the realization that reality is undivided and whole.

It’s All There is. Right now.

There is no separation.
There are no separate selves.
You’re not limited to a separate entity stuck in a body.

Our true nature is already infinite aware consciousness but we’re innocently misidentified with a self.

Practical, empirical “direct path” nonduality uses contemplation, inquiry, and higher reasoning to let you discover this truth in direct experience and beyond doubt.

It will never ask you to believe anything but to investigate and come to your own conclusions.

Why you should care?

You shouldn’t.
There’s nothing here for “you”, the separate self that wants to improve its life.

But if you’re reading this, you’re already interested. And this interest — if followed — can lead you to the most amazing (yet ordinary) discovery available:

Your true nature is not what you believe you are.

There is no separate you.
You are freedom itself.

If you're crazy enough to write about nonduality:

You will
- contradict yourself
- be misunderstood daily
- be lectured at by spiritual egos
- be subject to the nondual police
- wonder how this can possibly be put into coherent words

You will also
- help so many
- write exactly what someone needs to read
- wonder at a knowing that appears out of nowhere
- know the joy of words spontaneously being written through you.

Kat (Katrijn) van Oudheusden

Never judge a book by its cover.
Never judge Awareness by its body-mind expression.

What filters, biases, and assumptions come up when we see a body? 

Sometimes I'd like to change my profile picture to older white male with high forehead, piercing blue eyes, and longish hair. Think Gandalf in a suit.

Then I'd post exactly the same words and more of you would magically assume I know and live what I'm talking about.

But this is just a body.
There is no separate self inside it.
Its appearance says nothing about our true nature.

It says nothing about what Sees — the exact same Seeing through your eyes.

If this sounds like gibberish, that's okay.
Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Three look better than two, right? 


Except for one bit that is refusing to be written, the first draft of Seeing No-Self is done. 😊  Time to get extensive feedback and let it sit for a bit.

The book now includes 33 essential inquiries with follow-up questions, deeper contemplations, and further aspects to notice or consider.


If anyone knows a good copyeditor/proofreader with interest in nonduality and willing to work directly in Canva (US-English) please let me know!


Kat's ego is pleased. 😎

Are you qualified to study or teach nonduality?

This question almost produces an emotion over here. 😉 

Here's my hypothesis:
We all already "know" all there is to know about nonduality.

- We know it because we ARE it
- It's our direct experience every moment
- We knew it (unconsciously) as small children
- We still know deep inside that there is no real self or separation.


What we've "done" (without anyone making it happen) is conditioned this knowing out of our consciousness.

And so rediscovering it is not a question of studying, learning, practicing, receiving teachings, transmitting, or doing anything at all.

It is a question of rediscovering something obvious and ordinary.

It's about subtraction: ignoring, seeing through, letting be, and losing interest in the entanglement with thoughts and beliefs long enough to see they're not substantial.

Then, boom! 
There "it" is, shining in plain view:
our true nature.

There's no need to move from me to we.

When it's realized that there is no me, what is left is we.

But we believe it's the separate person who must go out and develop a we-orientation.

We don't realize there's no one to do this.


This is about coming to know that the separate, striving self is a mirage. It looks and feels very real, it's sometimes a useful tool, and it's part of our reality.

But we can also see right through it and notice how insubstantial it is.

Then who are we protecting, promoting, or trying to improve? If there's no one there, what are we getting so obsessed and upset about?

What remains is we.

And this doesn't mean we're not separate bodies with individual needs. We are not being assimilated into a bunch of zombies.

This is individual, unique experience with a simultaneous realization of the unity of all existence.

It is both/and.

What if you want to explore how a nondual understanding can remove the problems in your life?

I'm a big fan of finding out for yourself and I'm also a fan of formal coaching to help you do so.

There's a unique power to coaching informed by non-dual realization.

Instead of trying to work things out downstream, it goes all the way to the source of how we create problems and how that can end from a "position" of Awareness.

A coach keeps you looking in the right direction when the mind wants to bail. ☺️

Here are some excellent coaches to follow who a) post on LinkedIn and b) offer coaching from this approach.

Lindsay Parker 
Suzanne Lång 
Dino Carella 
Jake Yeager 
Dave Wayne 
Freyja Theaker 
Peggy O'Neal 
Piers Thurston 
Timo Maibach 
Youri Hermes 
Preeti Gopal 

The list could be much longer but it's a place to start. ☺️

There's an unfortunate idea that nondual understanding leads to detachment or disinterest.

That's the no-self, no-mind side of things.
It's true but also incomplete.

Simultaneously there's everything, all at once. Including the very real, lived experience of a body-mind, exactly as it is.

And the freedom knowing none of it is personal and nothing needs to be any different than it is.


I like this from Peter Fenner:

"We can transcend events, problems, frictions, and compulsions while still fully connected with our bodies and our lives. It's possible to be with our present reality without resistance and effort."


But a separate self will never be able to do that.
The self IS resistance.

Which brings us right back to no-self. 😊 

To me, it's not freedom from the self but freedom AS the self — due to realizing that there is none!

I was absolutely going to post a super insightful something.

But I never plan or schedule posts and now I'm busy. ☺️

Bye. 👋



P.S. The Daily Nonduality reminders are all written and scheduled! If you'd like these powerful nondual pointers in your inbox sign up with the Substack link in the comments or on my profile. They're 100% free!

I have been absent.
And I have been transformed.
Henceforth I will be known as Katguru.
I will be updating my profile shortly.


#aprilfoolsday2024

How are you feeling?

Have you identified it on the feeling wheel?
Have you named it to tame it?
Are you better off now?

It seems to be helpful to create distance between our emotions and ourselves. The idea is that we can then react "more rationally."

And it's true that distance from what we feel is helpful. Because we are not our feelings. They are bundles of sensations that appear in Awareness.

We are what is aware OF feelings (and thoughts about them) — A never-ending stream of emotions that come, stay for a while, and then go.

So does it matter what that emotion is exactly?

Doesn't labelling make them more substantial and important than they are? And doesn't it usually mean judgment: this is bad/good? Now we've added an extra layer of mental stuff to deal with.

How about just being aware of the raw sensations that constitute a feeling? Pressure or tension here. Some heat over there. A stronger heartbeat.

No need to name or tame.
Just the coming and going.
Just Awareness OF.

Try it.
It may be a lot less stressful.
It may open up a vast space that is beyond any label.

"Non-dualism is not a complicated philosophy.

Radical, yes; challenging, yes;
but not complicated. 

It could appear anywhere without precedent, among men or women of any culture devoted to finding the true nature of their being.

Wherever separation is questioned and silent unity embraced, the key to that experience is non-dualism."

-- William G. Duffy 



Duality is the world according to a separate ego-self. Nonduality is the same world without belief in that self.*




*Just one way of languaging it and not "the truth."

You might recognize this, especially after the weekend:

The need to manipulate the body.

We learn from a young age that the body is ours and we are to manage it as we must manage the rest of our lives.

Then we are bombarded with endless messages about what the body should be like and how to achieve that.

As a girl growing up in the '80s the message was: be ridiculously thin and do whatever it takes to get there, including self-harm if necessary.

At 48, with a lived understanding of not being the doer of my life and what we call the body doing itself, this need to manipulate the body has all but disappeared. 

The sense of failure and hopelessness from not being able to change the natural body-shape has also disappeared.

And still those beliefs keep reappearing! Attempting to question beliefs or substitute in others never worked.

But here's the thing: That these beliefs continue to appear is no longer a problem. They no longer produce a reaction.

They're now always met with freedom, even when they stick around for a while. The self does its selfing dance while the inner knowing can enjoy the play as it is performed.

Are you stuck in beliefs about what the body should be like?

What does a nondual understanding "do" to leadership?

It creates effortless and authentic selfless leadership. Which is the real-life, tangible version of all those "be kind, be compassionate" posts.

Selfless Leadership is also the title of a short, practical book based on 20 years in org. & leadership development, and coaching >40 leaders in this approach.

The book is built around 4 insights + 16 inquiry exercises to help recognize self-lessness in direct experience.

Not just for formal leaders but for everyone wanting to influence how we collaborate. You can get it on Amazon.

I don't have much to add to the image.

The analogy came up in our group inquiry session yesterday. The question was why we don't experience Oneness.


Oh, and I don't think the solution to our problems is telling other apparently separate fingers what they should do.

I think the "solution" lies more in each finger realizing it is the same hand — or in the case of the image: the same sea anemone.

I've learned from the past 3 years that people read/watch nondual teachings in private but never talk about them in public.

They will watch Rupert Spira videos on repeat, read Eckhart Tolle for the third time, and try to "get to" nondual awareness with Loch Kelly's meditations.

But there's no place for this at work, in business, or in professional relationships.

Right?
No, so very wrong.

This is not a private hobby.
This is about what it means to be human.

If you keep your nondual interests separate from the rest of your life ... well, good luck to you. Please stop reading.

There's no need to talk about this or try to convince others.

But there's every reason for no-self and no-separation to move into all areas of our lives. Otherwise, what's the point?

If you want to find out how a nondual understanding makes work effortless you will find much value in the book Selfless Leadership.

It's built around 4 key insights and 16 exercises that lead to those insights. Not just for formal leaders but for everyone wanting to influence how we collaborate.

You can get it on Amazon.

Here's an ad for you on the verge of a radical transformation but hesitating because it's going to have a big impact on others and on you,


but despite all your reasoning not to... the truth is, you're not happy 

-- your vitality is at an all-time low
-- questions, doubts and fears fill in all the spaces
-- thoughts go by themselves and you are carried away by them
-- others wonder what is happening to you but you don't open up
-- you fear that if you speak up you'll rapidly be taken where you don't want to go. 

Resonate?

I see 3 options:

1. you remain stuck and turn into a victim, blaming others for the life you haven't had (you might use the narrative of being "responsible" if that works)

2. you keep boiling up until you explode and hurt everyone around you

3. you take a different route

and so the ad 

Send me a DM to start exploring.

The freedom you are seeking is seeking you.


———————
Hi, I'm Dino a former corporate director with 30+ years of experience now coaching seniors who want to move from burnout to living their authentic and fulfilling life.

I'm the author of "The Way of the Wind", a former manager's journey of awakening from burnout to breakthrough.

When you realize a nondual understanding you'll be equanimous.

Serene and calm. Tolerant, no matter what.
Because that's an outcome. Isn't it?

No, that's the spiritualized version of nonduality: If I get it (sometime in the future) I'll be more tolerant. I'll be so serene and happy, people might even notice: look, a realized one.


Utter bullsh*t. 😎 

You, the character, don't get anything from this. There is nothing in it for you. Really. Because this is about realizing YOU are not the character. 

The person, the self, the character is the unfolding and looping of a spontaneous set of processes, sensations and thoughts. It doesn't realize anything. A thought doesn't ever "get it".


Then why pursue this?
Because it's what happens.
You, the supposed separate self, have no say in the matter.

Book number 3, Seeing No-Self is coming soon and is all about direct inquiry.

This is the HOW of nondual realization,
the practice and path that is neither a practice nor a path. 😎 

Sorry, lots of paradox involved!

To give what is essentially unstructured and entirely spontaneous some structure, the visual below shows what the 33 inquiries in the book are about.

It combines the Via Negativa (discovering what we're not) with the Via Contemplativa (knowing what we are).

After guiding almost daily for 3 years now, I've found all of these are essential to see. We can get stuck because not all of it is clear yet.

What do you think is the most difficult layer to "see"?

Beginning in our childhood, the tale of life we’re taught is one in which each of us is a separate self, finding our way in a world teeming with 8 billion other individuals.

These selves inhabit a world filled with matter and coexist within the dimensions of space and time, alongside countless other distinct objects and organisms.

From the day we're born, we're programmed with this narrative, accepting it as truth until eventually preaching it ourselves. 

We believe there’s a doer inside the human body, owning and operating it, willing and authoring its existence. 

We’re convinced that we're separate, independent entities at the core of a subjective experience. 

We find it perfectly natural to feel detached from others and the world out there.

Yet, if we allow the possibility that this is merely a narrative we've learned to accept, we open the door to an alternate story.

That's the aim of this book. I’ve gathered insights and evidence from science, philosophy, and Buddhist thought. Together, these schools can help open our minds to a different tale—that the self is an illusion, an amalgamation of six cognitive illusions.

Perhaps, you’ll find this alternative view more coherent than the narrative you currently believe.

-- from Beyond Illusion: Exploring the Six Illusions that Create Our Mistaken Belief in a Separate Self.

Book available on Amazon.

We just returned from watching Dune 2.


Now 1/4 of the mind is coming up with humorous leadership lessons based on giant worms.

1/4 is enjoying a quiet evening.

1/4 of mind is working on the exact phrasing of some of the nondual inquiries I'm currently writing in book 3.

And 1/4 is abiding in nondual awareness.

Just kidding.

The mind can't "access" awareness. It's the other way around. Awareness is experiencing the mind much like the body just watched Dune.*




*This is just another analogy to point to something and not meant to be taken as "the literal truth."

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