Coaching product and engineering leaders to build aligned teams that perform at their best without burning out | ex VMware & Pivotal Labs

Most leaders I meet are insecure overachievers. They carry expectations that are heavier than they look.

When alignment breaks, even the most capable teams lose momentum.

I help product and engineering leaders fix what is really breaking their teams. Misalignment. Together we restore clarity, alignment and momentum so their teams perform at their best without burning out.

What I know about you:
→ You are a senior product or engineering leader with commercial responsibility
→ You are solving harder problems with more eyes on you than ever
→ You are juggling strategy, speed and stakeholder alignment
→ You want to lead with clarity and confidence while staying grounded

How I help tech leaders and their teams:
→ Build high performing, product led organisations
→ Develop leadership skills that grow their team and influence
→ Strengthen trust, alignment and effective ways of working
→ Navigate transitions such as reorgs, promotions or new leadership roles

Whether you are stepping into a new role or levelling up where you are, I help create the clarity and headspace you need to lead with intention.

Clients often say I help them pause and reflect, focus on what matters, and move forward with clarity and purpose.

I bring a mix of product leadership, coaching expertise and experience leading through high stakes transitions. I have helped teams grow through ambiguity, pressure and change.

A bit about my experience:
→ Helped more than 100 tech leaders navigate challenging transitions
→ Ranked #1 for Product Management and #3 for Management & Leadership on LinkedIn in the UK (Favikon)
→ Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC), trained Positive Intelligence Coach, ICF Member
→ Ex Pivotal Labs leader who guided teams through an IPO and two major acquisitions, first into VMware and later into Broadcom
→ International speaker and facilitator across Australia, the UK, Europe and the USA

Curious if I am the right fit for you or your team? Send me a message.

Simon Sinek's brutal truth about phone addiction.

A visible phone says. You are not my priority.

A silent phone still sends a message.
On a table it tells people they come second.

What to do:

1. Phone off the table. Face down is not polite.
2. Airplane mode. Put it out of sight.
3. Morning rule. Partner before phone.
4. Dinner rule. Only one phone between you.
5. Client rule. Keep it in your bag.
6. Home rule. Do not carry it room to room.
7. Build the habit. Small reps beat willpower.

The aim is not to hear the words.
It is for people to feel heard.

Remove the cue and presence gets easier.

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Liam Darmody

Alignment is the hidden reason most leaders fail. I help them fix it for good.

“I’ll never trust anyone again.”

What happened next changed how I think about trust.

Brené Brown recently told this story on The Diary Of A CEO.

Her daughter came home from school devastated.
She’d shared something vulnerable with two friends.
And they told everyone in her class.

Kids laughed and pointed.
And in that moment, she shut down.
Her world had shrunk to a single conclusion.

As a parent, it’s tempting to protect.
To tell them who they can and can’t trust.
But Brené chose to teach instead.

She explained trust through the marble jar.

Every time someone keeps something confidential, checks in, remembers something important, or makes space for you, they earn a marble.

And when you need to share something vulnerable, you look for the people whose jars are full.

Her daughter immediately named two friends.
And the “marbles” were beautifully small.

Someone sliding over so she had a seat at lunch.
Someone remembering her grandparents’ names.
Someone checking in when she was off school.

Nothing big.
Just small acts of kindness that made her feel seen.

And here’s the leadership lesson:
Trust at work is built the same way.

Not through a big announcement.
Not through a crisis moment.
Not through authority.

Trust grows in the quiet, human interactions most leaders underestimate.

When you ask how someone really is before meetings.
When you remember something they shared weeks ago.
When you notice a change in their energy.
When you stay steady as others escalate.
When you follow through.

These are the marbles.

Leaders who earn them early don’t need to demand trust when things get hard. Their teams already know who they’ll follow.

The crisis doesn’t build the trust.
It reveals how full the marble jar already was.

What’s one small marble you could earn today?

♻ Repost to hep more leaders rethink how trust is built.
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Your body speaks first.

Better decisions start when you listen.

A peer-reviewed study asked hundreds of people to use an interactive tool to paint two body maps per emotion. One for more sensation, one for less.

These colours are averages of people’s self-reports.
Warm means increased sensation.
Cool means reduced sensation.

People reported consistent patterns:
→ Happiness lights up nearly the entire body
→ Anger and fear cluster in the chest and arms
→ Love and pride centre in the heart
→ Sadness and depression dull sensation through the limbs

Most of us notice it before we name it.
A tight jaw before a hard conversation.
Heavy limbs when burnout creeps in.

Try this before your next tough meeting:

1. Scan: jaw, shoulders, chest, stomach, hands
2. Name: a short label lowers intensity
3. Breathe: slow inhale followed by a long exhale
4. Move: walk or stretch for two minutes before you decide

Scan. Name. Breathe. Move.
Ninety seconds can change the meeting.

Where do you feel stress first? Jaw, shoulders, chest, or gut?

Source: Nummenmaa et al., PNAS 2014

♻ Repost to help others listen to their body.
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I use my 10+ years of experience building startups and enterprise products to help mission-driven product builders achieve impactful results. Alongside my current role where I lead a cross-functional team of product consultants at VMware Tanzu Labs, I am a Co-Active Coach in training and a Board Member of Product Management Festival. Drawing on my experience as the founding licensee of a TEDx event, co-founder of FitUsIn and the first product hire at Pivotal Labs Sydney, I infuse an entrepreneurial flair into my work as a coach, consultant and leader.

Florian  Kurschus

Most teams hire for T-Shaped talent.

The best ones grow V and M-Shaped builders.

Most of us know the T-Shaped skills model.
In the age of AI, the whole skill-shape framework has new meaning.

I-Shaped: deep in one skill, narrow elsewhere.
T-Shaped: deep in one area, broad in others.
V-Shaped: deep in one area, medium-deep in adjacent ones.
M-Shaped: deep in several areas that connect and create together.

Each shape brings different strengths:
I-Shapes master craft.
T-Shapes enable collaboration.
V-Shapes scale impact.
M-Shapes bridge complexity.

Great teams develop these shapes.
People grow from I → T → V → M across their careers.

That evolution is speeding up.
AI is changing both how we work and what our shapes mean.
Narrow expertise can be automated.
Adjacent depth is where new value emerges.

AI collapses handoffs.
It rewards end to end builders.

As LinkedIn’s Chief Product Officer, Tomer Cohen notes, this is the era of the full stack builder.
Even Forbes describes the same shift: from translators to builders.

This is not only a product story.
It is a preview of how every profession is changing.

I am closest to V-Shaped.
Deep in strategy and leadership, medium-deep in systems thinking, coaching, and AI fluency.
That adjacent depth is where creativity, adaptability, and impact compound.

Apply it this quarter (save this):
1. Pick one adjacent skill you will use weekly.
2. Co-own a cross-functional project that removes a handoff.
3. Ship one proof: a demo, analysis, or decision memo worth saving.

Comment your current shape and the adjacent skill you will add this quarter.

Credit: Typology popularised by Mike Dyne on Medium. Visual by Jeroen Kraaijenbrink, shared with permission.

♻️ Repost to help others plan their next skill shape.
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Most people give up too soon.

The ones who win grow like bamboo.

The Bamboo Principle: invisible work makes visible growth possible.

When you plant bamboo, nothing happens for 5 years.
No shoots. No progress. No proof it’s working.

Underground, the roots are spreading, deep and wide.
Then, in 6 weeks, the bamboo shoots up to 90 feet tall.
That “overnight” growth was 5 years in the making.

Most ambitious leaders live in hustle mode.
First in. Last out. Saying yes to everything.
Exhausted and still invisible.

They’re not lazy.
They’re digging up the seeds before they take root.
The hardest part is staying patient.
But that’s where resilience grows.

Here’s how to know you’re growing the right roots:

1. Depth: Learn one hard skill each week that increases your leverage.

2. Reach: Invest in one relationship that will matter a year from now.

3. Reflection: Capture one insight or outcome before the week ends.

Your progress might be invisible today.
But it’s compounding underneath.

When your roots are ready, momentum takes care of itself.

Pick one root to strengthen this week.

♻️ Repost to help another leader trust the root stage.
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If you want to be a leader of a high-performing team:

Be a shit umbrella.

Being a shit umbrella is not hiding the truth.
It is translating chaos into clarity so the team can do their best work.

Here’s what it looks like in practice:

1. Model calm first
↳ Leaders transmit mood. Calm, filtered direction protects focus and trust.

2. Filter fake urgency
↳ Say no to noise. Create space for the work that moves the needle.

3. Fix systems before judging
↳ Blame solves nothing. Diagnose the process, not the person.

4. Push back on unrealistic timelines
↳ Protect sustainable pace. Quality dies when speed wins every argument.

5. Guard deep work
↳ Defend focus time. Cancel noise and meeting sprawl so your team can think.

6. Clarify trade-offs early
↳ Clear trade-offs stop churn and resentment. If something new lands, decide what pauses.

7. Own decisions upward
↳ Take the heat, give the context, keep your team focused on delivery.

8. Recognise by name
↳ Credit publicly, specifically, immediately. Visibility builds trust and motivation.

9. Champion in the big rooms
↳ Advocacy builds visibility and trust. Airtime is respect. You protect it.

The real test of leadership isn’t how you perform under pressure.
It’s how calm your team feels when you’re under it.

Save this for your next 1:1 or team retro.
What would you add?

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Lighting another candle won’t dim yours.

But it brightens the room for everyone.

Some leaders hoard the spotlight.
They confuse control with safety.

Real leadership is passing the light on.
Your influence grows when others start to shine.

Do the work that multiplies light:

→ Share credit in public. Hold risk in private.
→ Put them on the stage. Let them present and ship.
→ Transfer context early. The why, constraints, trade-offs.
→ Turn playbooks into templates. Make excellence reusable.
→ Say their name in rooms they’re not in. Sponsor the opportunity.

Bright rooms are built by generous leaders.
That’s the culture people choose to follow.

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You are not a slacker for resting.

You are preparing to win.

Work ethic is great.
But don’t let it get in the way of a healthy and happy life.

I have a tendency to overwork.
And many of my clients do too.
This clip is a good reminder for all of us.

It's the final piece of advice from Bill Gates' commencement speech to graduates of Northern Arizona University in 2023.

Getting older and becoming a father made him realise “there is more to life than work.”

Here’s the truth: High performance and high intensity are not the same thing.

Intensity builds momentum. Recovery sustains it.

Here are 5 things the best leaders do differently:

1. Rest before they crash
2. Know that intensity has a cost
3. Nurture relationships beyond work
4. Celebrate progress and recovery in equal measure
5. Lead with empathy and give others grace

You can be ambitious and present.
Driven and rested.
Successful and still human.

What break will you schedule before your next big push?

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Culture shows up long before anyone writes it down.

You can feel it on Sunday evening.
And again on Monday morning before the first standup.

If people feel anxious, unseen or unclear, you will see it in how they show up.
If they feel seen, supported and trusted, you will see that too.

Culture is built through small, everyday signals.
Leaders shape those signals more than they realise.

In my coaching work, the leaders who build cultures people look forward to all focus on the same fundamentals.

Here are seven of the most reliable ones.

1. Notice the work people give their energy to
↳ Teams feel seen when their effort lands.
↳ Acknowledge the specific actions that made a difference.
↳ A genuine acknowledgement can lift the energy of a whole week.

2. Listen with curiosity and genuine interest
↳ People open up when they feel heard.
↳ Stay present and set distractions aside.
↳ Curiosity turns tense conversations into honest ones.

3. Support growth in the flow of work
↳ Create space for people to stretch their skills in real projects.
↳ Growth builds confidence, and confidence builds momentum.
↳ Momentum strengthens culture more than any perk ever could.

4. Create a sustainable pace for the team
↳ Teams do their best product thinking when the pace is sustainable.
↳ Help people set boundaries they can rely on, and honour those boundaries yourself.
↳ A stable pace protects clarity, creativity and trust.

5. Bring clarity to decisions and priorities
↳ Unclear decisions drain energy.
↳ Explain how choices are made and what principles guide them.
↳ Predictability reduces friction and increases focus.

6. Hold yourself steady when things get difficult
↳ Your emotional state becomes the environment people work in.
↳ Stay grounded, especially during uncertainty.
↳ Your steadiness shapes how people feel coming into the week.

7. Give people a reason to care
↳ Connect the work to the impact it creates.
↳ Help the team see where they fit.
↳ Meaning brings life back to Monday mornings.

Culture is a living system.
You shape it in every interaction, planned or unplanned.

Reflection question:
Which of these seven would shift the energy of your team the most?

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7 Ways Leaders Build A Culture People Look Forward To

Most people wait until they’re ready.

The best leaders say yes, then get ready fast.

Richard Branson once said:
“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity, but you’re not sure you can do it, say yes, then learn how to do it later.”

It sounds reckless.
But it’s really about learning in public.

We underestimate how fast we grow once commitment kicks in.

We overestimate the safety of waiting for perfect.

The key isn’t blind optimism. It’s a qualified yes.

→ Box the downside.
→ Define the first win.
→ Get the right people in the room.
→ Learn out loud.

That’s how you turn uncertainty into capability.

I'm curious, what would make a yes feel safe this week?

♻ Repost to remind others that readiness is overrated.
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After two days of coaching and learning.

Still processing PMF 2025.

Writing this from Zurich airport. Tired, inspired, quietly proud.

Let’s look at the numbers:
→ 600 attendees
→ 48 speakers
→ 7 coaches
→ 40+ one-to-one sessions
→ 20+ hours of coaching conversations

It’s been a full week of connecting with people in the product community.
Tuesday began with the Product and Tech Leadership Summit, then the Speaker Dinner.
Wednesday was a blur of talks, workshops, coaching sessions and an evening event.
Thursday was mostly coaching, followed by the Board Dinner.
Friday included an early morning Zoom, brunch with friends, and now a flight home.

Amid all that, one idea echoed all the way through.
As AI gets smarter, human skills are becoming more important.

MIT research found that 95% of AI pilots fail because companies remove friction, when friction is often where the human value lives.
The successful 5% design AI into workflows that keep people at the centre, combining automation with human judgement, creativity and care.

AI can scale output. People still scale meaning.

And then there was the anthem.
The AI-generated theme song for PMF 2025 carried one line that stuck with me: “We’re here to stay.”

It captured the week.
The form of the product role will keep shifting, but product thinking and the human skills behind it will only grow stronger.

Across the Business and Finance Track, the AI Track and the Career Track, one thing was clear.
The future of product leadership isn’t just about adopting new tools.
It’s about deepening the human capabilities no tool can replace: self-awareness, empathy, clarity and courage.

Leaders told me they fear being left behind if their teams don’t embrace AI.
Some team members fear using it looks like cheating, or that they are training a system that may replace them.

The work is the same on both sides. Build trust. Set clear guardrails. Learn in the open.

PMF isn’t a “speak and leave” conference.
Speakers stayed to listen.
Coaches took notes too.
People showed up as peers.
To learn. To connect. To grow together.

Great conferences share ideas.
The best ones create space for growth.
That’s why I keep coming back.

Grateful to the PMF team and everyone who made this year’s event a success.

If you attended, what’s one thing you’re taking away?

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Change isn’t loud.

It’s repetitive.

Most people think change happens in a moment.
It rarely does.

Change starts quietly, long before anyone notices.

It begins with an idea.
That idea shapes a thought.
That thought stirs a feeling.
That feeling drives a plan.
The plan builds habits.
Habits demand commitment.
Commitment becomes lifestyle.
And lifestyle? That’s what finally creates change.

The same pattern shows up in leadership, too.

You don’t drive change by force.
You create it by making new behaviour easier than old behaviour.

How to make it easier this week:
→ Name one ritual you’ll repeat
→ Clarify who decides what, by when
→ Set a simple weekly check to keep it alive

If you build the conditions, change becomes the default.

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Image credit: @winner.spirit

Most founders worry about running out of money.

Fewer worry about something far worse.

Becoming a startup that never dies, and never really lives.

I was talking to the CTO of a seed stage AI company who said something brutally honest:

“I don’t fear failing. I fear becoming a zombie.”

If you’ve ever built anything from zero, you know exactly what he meant.

This fear lives in one place: the Valley of Death.

The Valley of Death is that early stretch where burn is high, revenue is low, and the clock is louder than your customer feedback.

Some teams cross it.
Some don’t.
And some… never really leave.

That’s the part we don’t talk about enough.

A zombie startup is one that survives the Valley financially, but never escapes it strategically.
Too alive to shut down. Not alive enough to grow.

It finds a few customers.
Cuts burn.
Spreads founders thin.
And slowly drifts into a grey zone where hope replaces evidence.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth.
The Valley of Death is supposed to be temporary.
A phase of intense learning where you either find momentum, or you get a clean outcome and try again.

Zombie mode is what happens when the company refuses to die but has no realistic path out.

It feels like this:
You climb a few metres out of the valley.
Slip back down.
Try again.
Never strong enough to reach the top.
Never weak enough to die.

Every founder hits a moment where they must choose:
Prove the market wants what you’re building.
Or stop lying to yourself.

The cost of staying undead is years of opportunity you never get back.

Three signs you are drifting into zombie territory:
1. You are extending runway, but not increasing proof.
2. Most decisions are justified by “option value” rather than evidence.
3. The team talks more about “surviving the next round” than serving customers.

If you’re in the valley right now, the real job is simple:
Learn faster than you burn.
Seek truth over hope.
Build evidence, revenue, retention, and real usage.

And if the evidence says the climb isn’t possible, remember this: You are not the zombie. Your startup is.
You are allowed to put the zombie out of its misery.

If this hits a little too close, you are not alone.
Drop a 🧟 if you have ever felt stuck in this valley.

♻️ Repost to help others escape the zombie trap.
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Real leadership isn’t visibility.

It’s knowing when not to be out front.

Tech feels reactive right now.
Everything is urgent.
Everyone feels pressure to have the answers.

Mandela reminds us there’s another way.
A calmer, more intentional way.

A leader, he said, is like a shepherd.
Guiding from behind.
Letting the most capable move first.
Shaping the path without needing to be seen.

In my coaching work, this shift changes everything.
Strong leaders don’t cling to one position.
They choose the stance the moment needs.
Out front. Beside.
Or behind… creating space for others to step forward.

That’s the essence of Co-Active leadership: choosing your stance moment to moment, rather than relying on a title.

If you want to lead from behind, start small:
→ Set the direction, then step back
→ Ask questions that return ownership
→ Back someone’s judgment even when it stretches you
→ Hold the edges so others can explore safely

Every great team has someone quietly leading from behind.

And leaders grow when they don’t need to be the loudest person in the room.

Where could you lead from behind this week?

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Sumit Shrivastav

Last Friday I posted a PMF 2025 photo with a robot.

Today I want to show you the humans.

In my rush to post before flying out of Zurich, I shared a shot of me with Booster, the robot.
It was a fun moment.
But the wrong focus.

Because the real story of Product Management Festival is the people.

The crowded corridor chats.
The side conversations over coffee and lunch.
The late night dinners where you realise everyone is wrestling with their own version of the same problems.

I keep coming back to one idea.
Community is not a nice to have. It is essential.

Look at the Blue Zones research on longevity.
People who live the longest are not just eating well and moving often.
They have strong social ties and regular touch points across generations.
They live life together.

Community is not only for our personal lives.
We can build communities around anything that matters to us.
In a world that is investing heavily in AI and automation, that feels more important than ever.
PMF feels like one of those communities for product people.

As you would expect, AI was everywhere at this year’s PMF.
But the moments that stayed with me were analogue and human.
People in a room together.
Phones down.
Honest conversations.

That is what I wish I had captured in last week’s post.
So this one is for the humans.

Tools will keep changing. The need to feel we belong will not.

Grateful for everyone who stopped to talk, asked a hard question, shared a story, or trusted me in a coaching session.
You are the reason events like PMF matter.

If you were there, I hope these photos remind you of the people you want to stay in touch with.
If you were not, maybe it is a nudge to invest a little more in your own community.

Who are the people who keep you growing, even when things get hard?

♻ Repost to celebrate communities that grow together.
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I don’t ask how healthy a culture is.

I listen.

Not to the strategy.
Not to the values deck.
Not to the all-hands slides.

I listen to the phrases people repeat without thinking.
The ones that show up when tension rises.
When something breaks.
When someone makes a mistake.
When silence feels safer than speaking up.

That’s where trust is built.
Or eroded.

Here are 7 signals I’ve learned to listen for in high-trust environments:

1. “I’ve got your back.”
↳ Signals safety. People aren’t bracing for blame.

2. “That’s a great idea.”
↳ Signals recognition. Thinking is valued here.

3. “How can I help?”
↳ Signals support. No one’s carrying it alone.

4. “Mistakes happen. Let’s move forward.”
↳ Signals growth. Learning over perfection.

5. “Your work made a difference.”
↳ Signals impact. You’re seen, not invisible.

6. “Let’s figure it out together.”
↳ Signals shared ownership. Struggle doesn’t stay silent.

7. “Take care of yourself.”
↳ Signals humanity. People matter more than performance.

None of these phrases are flashy.
But when they show up consistently, they shape how teams feel and how they perform.

Because the real culture is the language people fall back on when it matters most.

What’s one phrase you want your team to hear more often?

♻ Repost to help more leaders build high-trust teams.
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Image credit: Jitender Girdhar

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