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How an unusual decision turned out to be a great one My daughter was planning a trip to a spa However, she made an unusual decision. She did not decide to go along with some of her twenty-something friends But asked not one but three mums—me and her two grandmothers. I wondered whether she would regret it and still have a nice time. With a combined age of well over 220 years, we went on an overnight girls' trip to Surrey. As my daughter loaded the car, I asked one grandmum why she brought a suitcase. She said she did not know what to bring and had packed items, which included a quilt cover! Along with a Sainsbury's bag of snacks as a backup in case the food at the 4-star hotel was not up to scratch We were on our way. On arrival, we were looked after by friendly staff who patiently reassured us that the drinks and snacks in the Amber Lounge and hotel room were truly free. Therefore, no surprise charges would be coming our way to ambush us at checkout! The biggest challenge? Choosing what to eat. Convincing a grandma that a massage will not make you sick, as was the case of my mum's friend's cousin My mum’s banter with the restaurant manager, Abdul, earned her a free dessert. I got to see just how: ✔️ Respectful ✔️ Friendly ✔️ Patient ✔️ Funny ✔️ Calm The mums and daughter are. It was a reminder that mums shouldn’t only be identified as mums—but as women who have made countless sacrifices to support many members of their direct and indirect family, despite their personal challenges that many will not be aware of or even interested in. They deserve a return on their investment. So, treat them as friends that you want to: ✨ Have more fun ✨ Spend time ✨ Be kind to While you can Already planning the next trip—any recommendations?

You were brought up not to chat your business outside of your direct family. This protected you from being gossiped about feeling exposed or vulnerable In the workplace, this fear of judgment or mistreatment may stop you from disclosing your symptoms of menopause or any other condition, for that matter, to your organisation. However, keeping your 'business' private may put you in a position of losing protection regarding your job. You see As Menopause can last from 6 to 10 years, symptoms of brain fog, anxiety, as well as the physical ones, can impact your work performance. If this is the case, it can be regarded as a physical or mental impairment, i.e. disability under the Equality Act 2010 This obliges your employer to make 'reasonable' adjustments to your role so your symptoms are not exacerbated or ignored. In 2022, an employee successfully won her case against her employer at a tribunal as she was not given a pay increase for the first time due to the impact her menopause symptoms she told her employer she had, on her performance. Before menopause, there were no complaints about her. In addition to not making reasonable adjustments, she was found guilty of disability discrimination. If she had kept the fact she was going through menopause 'private', do you think she would have got the positive outcome of being awarded damages of £65,000? What do you think, speak or not speak regarding menopause at work?

What I advised an individual who has a Return to Work Meeting after being long-term sick due to mental health challenges in Perimenopause Which was exacerbated by a lack of understanding/support from her employer She knew she could do her job. But wanted to convince employers to 'choose' to help her, She also knew they had little awareness of Perimenopause. It was their ignorance that led to a lack of tolerance! So, she would have to be prepared to inform them about perimenopause symptoms. Once they know the symptoms, they will have the context of the reason behind the change in work performance. It is not an inability but a disability, albeit a temporary one . Knowledge of legislation would be beneficial eg   The Equality Act 2010 gives protection from harassment, discrimination or victimisation due to her age, sex, or health. It applies to employees experiencing menopause in the workplace. This means Employers are legally obliged to make reasonable adjustments for both physical and psychological symptoms. If not, employees can bring a claim to the Employment Tribunal.   Management of Health and Safety at Work Regulations 1999 requires employers to assess and manage workplace risks that could impact employees' health, safety, and well-being, which cover menopause. Health and Safety at Work Act 1974 states employers have a duty of care to assess and control workplace risks, including those affecting mental health and well-being. So, it is not a matter of whether an employer chooses to help; they are legally obliged to So, in the case of anxiety or brain fog, for example, you may ask for ✔ More flexibility, including working from home ✔ Adjustments to meetings or workloads. ✔ Additional breaks or a quiet workspace. Ultimately, it is in the organisation's best interest to get this right. What is affecting her today will impact another of her colleagues in the future. Can your organisation afford to lose its talent? #returntowork #menopausesupport #menopauseintheworkplace #EDI

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Strong people need support, too! Yes, you do! When was the last time you heard about something unexpected happening to someone you knew and regarded as strong? You may have thought: I had no idea they were going through that. They looked as if they had it all together. If they had told me, I could have helped them. The problem is that you assume they can handle everything because of these people's identity or role in their work, friendships, and family. But in reality, they sometimes find it challenging to open up because of that identity. If you are the one who was always supporting others you find it Difficult Indulgent Or even weak To now become the ones who need supporting. However, one thing they need to remember is that they are human. Asking for help is a sign of wisdom and courage, making any challenge they face more bearable. So, if they open up to you, please Listen Do not be dismissive. Avoid saying things like: "Never mind" or "It will be alright." As it something that concerns them. Instead, ask them, "How can I help?" And to your strong ones, give people the opportunity to show how much you are loved and respected. Have you been surprised to hear that a person you looked at was strong was struggling? If so, how did you help?

How could you have prevented this from occuring in your organisation? Mrs L had worked for a national organisation, DL, as a telesales consultant since 2016. Initially, she had good performance ratings, but she started experiencing menopause symptoms. So for her, this meant experiencing psychological menopause symptoms, including: difficulty remembering low mood depression brain fog and was prescribed antidepressants.* Concerns were raised about her conduct, and she was moved to a less challenging role. This worked until she came off her antidepressants. Her line manager graded her as having a "need for improvement" for the first time after a performance review, which meant she received no pay raise. But a written warning after a disciplinary procedure. She went off work with stress and was eventually referred to Occupational Health, who advised that she was likely to be disabled. In 2021, DL commenced formal performance management proceedings despite them being aware of the disability, which were associated symptoms of menopause, which was affecting her ability to perform her work. She resigned the year later, claiming disability discrimination, constructive dismissal and other claims. She was awarded £65,000 at an Employment tribunal L's claims for discrimination arising from disability and failure to make reasonable adjustments were upheld. As L's "brain fog" and struggle to retain information was a result of her menopause symptoms. This was recorded in L's performance review, and the lack of a pay raise resulted from L's disability. What proactive steps has your organisation made to ensure this type of action can be prevented? ================================================= I collaborate with organisations by offering menopause in workplace training, & mental health training so organisations can retain talent and fulfill their legal requirements