AJ Harbinger's Linkedin Analytics

Think people are judging you? They might be—because of this one mistake. Ever find yourself stuck in your head? Wondering if others are judging you? You're not alone. This fear can make you seem judgmental. And that’s off-putting. Let me explain something crucial here. The more you focus inward, urging comfort and safety, the more you close off. This creates a vibe that you're judging others. People sense this. They back away, making true connection impossible. Here's the irony. You're not judging them at all; you're judging yourself! Now, hit pause on that self-judgment. Turn that focus outward. Be genuinely curious about others. Learn their stories, their ambitions. This shift opens doors to real connections. It swaps self-doubt for empathy, which is magnetic. This shift transformed my life. From a struggling introverted PhD student to running a top podcast with over 400M listens, I learned the power of outward focus. It’s about networking not just to collect contacts but to create meaningful relationships. No more counting contacts or LinkedIn connections. Instead, build relationships that are true and lasting. Imagine transforming every casual chat into a deep, supportive link. That's the power of empathy in action. It’s the core of effective networking. It flips traditional networking on its head, emphasizing quality of relationships over quantity. Ready to build your network the right way?

Your network isn’t the problem. Your standards are. The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life. Invest in your peers and colleagues and watch your career flourish. Develop high-value relationships and watch your dreams become reality. Find the right partner and achieve more than you ever imagined. Never settle for less in relationships. When you index your relationships on… ❌ Proximity ❌ Length of time you have known each other ❌ Fear of being alone ❌ Or convenience You are selling yourself short. Instead focus on forging relationships on… 🤝 Shared values 🤝 Emotional support 🤝 Big dreams 🤝 And quality time spent together. Building relationships is the lifeblood of your success. The longest study of human happiness, The Harvard Study of Adult Development, linked your well-being to deep relationships. Build better relationships and watch your health, wealth, and success follow.

Meetings aren’t just for updates. They’re for making moves. Are you invisible at work… It is the biggest reason you are not advancing your career. My client shared some feedback he received from a senior VP who was retiring. They had worked closely together over the years and he gave my client a piece of feedback. You need to be more visible in meetings. My client was perplexed as he felt he had been sharing in meetings. The problem was that in senior management meetings, he often let others share their opinions without responding. My client valued everyone’s time in meetings and hated when he felt meetings dragged on rehashing information previously discussed. He didn’t feel comfortable sharing his thoughts on departments he was not directly involved in. He felt it was important to stick to an agenda and keep the meetings moving forward. He also admitted that he was drowning in Zoom meetings as most of senior leadership is spread around the country. The problem is that this meant he was on the sidelines more than in the game in the important meetings. He was invisible to the most important people in the company. When you are starting in your career, asking questions is a great way to become more visible in meetings. As you progress in your career, you have to shift from asking questions to sharing insights and perspectives. I asked what his pre meeting preparation was like. He admitted he was often rushing from meetings to meetings without taking much time to prepare more than just glancing at the agenda. We put together a meeting preparation plan so that he would always be ready to shine in the big moments. In the fifteen minutes before meetings, we focused on three things… 👉 Getting present in the moment to become an active listener 👉 Preparing three insights he could potentially share based on the meeting agenda 👉 Highlighting one team member he could give appreciation to during the meeting By refocusing himself before the meetings and joining them prepared, he started to find moments to bring his perspective to the group. He shared with me that often he didn’t even share what he prepared before the meeting but that simple exercise made him more confident. He was ready to step into the spotlight and he was even enjoying the meetings more now that he was prepared. The hard truth to accelerating your career is that you have to step into the spotlight.

Your skills get you in the room. Your people skills determine what happens next. I remember when Derek first joined our program. He was technical. Skilled. Respected in his field. He worked at Google as an L6 and Microsoft as a solution architect. His technical capabilities put him in the top 1% of his field. But he felt stuck. We caught up recently and he shared something surprising. "After AOC, I've been doing startups ever since." What changed? His social intelligence. Derek learned people skills matter more than technical skills in leadership roles. Especially for founders. He discovered these truths: "Between me and investors, between me and my co-founder, between me and clients - the people skills really matter." Your technical expertise gets you in the room. Your people skills determine what happens next. Every day I see brilliant professionals hit invisible ceilings. Not because they lack knowledge or work ethic. But because they haven't developed their social intelligence. Stop letting low social IQ hold you back from your destiny. What's your next move?

Most people get passed over for promotions because of this one thing. Not skills.  Not experience.  Not even credentials. It's charisma. And Harvard found it drives 85% of career success. Want to know the 3 science-backed hacks to boost yours? Here they are... 1. Start with a vulnerability. The Pratfall Effect proves competent people who show a small flaw become MORE likable, not less. A simple "I was nervous about this presentation" makes you relatable instantly. 2. Use reflective labeling in conversations. Name the emotion behind what someone shares: "That must have been frustrating." "Sounds like that really excited you." People feel deeply understood when you mirror emotions. 3. Ask for advice instead of praise. The Benjamin Franklin Effect shows people like you more when they help you. Try: "How would you approach this situation?" My client Brett used these techniques on a work trip with his boss. Two months later? Promotion secured. These aren't tactics for extroverts. They're formulas that work for anyone. You do the work. You show up prepared. Now add these tools. What conversation technique works best for you? Drop it in the comments.

Want to know why some people instantly command attention? It's not what you think. When someone walks into a room and everyone feels their presence, that's not just confidence. It's presence, and it's far more powerful. Presence is that rare quality where you're so deeply anchored in the current moment that people can feel it. You're not distracted by your phone, the next meeting, or what someone thinks of you. You're simply... there. Fully. The irony? Most people chase charisma by trying to be more interesting, when the real secret is becoming more interested. Here's what presence really looks like: 👉 You listen without planning your response 👉 You maintain comfortable eye contact without staring 👉 You speak deliberately, without rushing 👉 You take up physical space unapologetically 👉 You respond rather than react to situations Most people are so busy thinking about what they'll say next that they miss the magic of true connection. But when you develop presence, you don't need to try to be charismatic - you naturally become magnetic. I've worked with executives who couldn't figure out why their teams weren't engaged, only to discover they weren't truly present in meetings. The change when they started practicing presence? Transformational. Follow me for more practical strategies to develop the kind of charisma that opens doors without saying a word.

Everyone thinks success happens in the big moment. Here’s the ugly truth: it’s what happens before that decides everything. When it comes to performance, we often over index on the importance THE big moment more than the preparation leading up to it. → The job interview → The pitch → The performance review → The networking event In moments of high stress and pressure, our mind’s 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 mode network runs the show. We default to the level of our training in moments that matter most. Athletes understand this and they spend hours mastering their craft outside of these key moments to perform when it matters most. Performance with people comes down to three key factors. → Do they KNOW you? → Do they LIKE you? → Can they TRUST you? A client was preparing for the most important interview of his life. He had previously been told that he was not ready for the position, but after his boss left the role unexpectedly they agreed to interview him again. He reached out to me for help on the interview because in his mind, this singular event was going to determine his career path. In our first session, we uncovered that he struggled with his likeability in the workplace. His focus in work communication was always on the task at hand, and he rarely shared personal stories or anecdotes. His team didn’t KNOW him. Which led to team members struggling to LIKE him. That led to management not trusting him to lead the team. He was frustrated when I asked him to workshop a personal story with me. He did not see the need to share that side of himself to get the role, and wanted to solely focus on stories that demonstrated his leadership skills at work. We crafted a few fun anecdotes to share with team members about a recent vacation that showcased his creativity and a silly injury he suffered showcasing his adventurous nature. A lightbulb went off. He finally understood that all of the little moments lead up to what happens when the big moment is finally at hand. What happens outside the meeting is more important than the pitch, the interview, or the speech. If you are ready to level up your people skills, DM me and we can work on the little moments that lead to MASSIVE impact.

You’re being misunderstood—and you don’t even know it. Here’s how small things like your smile (or lack of it) could be holding you back without you realizing it. We all make up stories about people based on small things. Like someone not smiling.  We might think they don't like us.  Or they're in a bad mood. It's amazing how we do this without even realizing it. Let me give you an example. A friend of mine thought he was always smiling at social events. → But actually, people couldn't tell he was happy. He decided to smile more, even if it felt a bit much. And guess what?  People started to approach him more and seemed happier around him. There's this thing we do called 'How am I Misunderstood?' It's about figuring out why people get the wrong idea about us. Like, if I look serious, it might be because I'm thinking hard, not because I'm mad. → Telling people this can really help them understand us better. Our strengths can sometimes trip us up.  Someone who's really good at thinking things through might not seem friendly because they're so focused. → They might need to work on showing they're listening and care about what others say. I've had my own struggles with this. I love coming up with ideas. But when I share them all the time. It can overwhelm my team. I've learned to share my ideas in a way that doesn't make everyone think they have to agree with me. → It's important to know how we come across to others. By understanding this, we can get along better with people and work more effectively as a team.

Most people think they're connecting...but they're just copying. Here's the real reason your conversations feel empty—and how to fix it. Mimicry is when we copy someone's actions or words without much thought. It's easy but shallow. → Matching, however, is deeper. It means tuning into the same emotional or intellectual wavelength as the other person. 🔹It's not just about echoing their words or gestures.  🔹It's about truly connecting with their feelings or thoughts. This distinction hit home during a personal interaction. One person needed emotional support, while the other offered practical advice. This mismatch showed how crucial it is to recognize what type of conversation is happening. Is it emotional, practical, or social? Understanding this can make or break a connection. → Authenticity is key. Mimicry might feel safe, but it doesn't build real connections. Matching, on the other hand, involves bringing your true self to the conversation and encouraging the other person to do the same. Really… it’s all about genuine engagement, not just going through the motions.

Do this to get promoted faster... Stop focusing on your own performance and goals. Meet Scott. When Scott first came to me for executive coaching, he was just focused on reaching his sales quota. → He was stressed and feeling completely unsupported at work. His work had completely taken over his life. He was passing up opportunities to hang with friends and worried he might get let go. During our sessions, we discovered that his team lacked collaboration. I asked him why? Scott shared his manager had just left and everyone was worried about their jobs. While Scott was dedicated and hardworking. He approached every new opportunity from scratch and had no one on the team to turn to. Why? → He put his own sales numbers ahead of relationship building with team members. I emphasized the importance of building rapport with team members on an upcoming off-site (even the annoying team member that he thought might get promoted to become his boss). We workshopped a few interesting stories to share at the event and some key team members he knew would be easy for him to connect with. I recommended he sit at different tables for lunches and dinners to meet as many people as possible. He felt prepared and was excited to meet his remote team members in person. We checked in after the off site meeting and two key things occurred. #1 He met two other team members working on accounts in similar categories and they planned to share sales assets to help each other close the deals. #2 He sat next to the CTO at lunch and had an opportunity to drive with him to the airport after the event. Scott shared a couple stories at lunch and even told his CTO about an account he was working on. The CTO wanted to join the meeting to hear the pitch. → He finally sparked the collaboration he was searching for. His confidence skyrocketed and team support helped him blow by quota a full quarter before the year ended.. We discussed how he could focus on helping other team members reach their quotas and share what worked for him. He created a dashboard to share with the team that created wins across the categories he sold in and team members took his lead to share their feedback. 🔥His social capital and charisma from the off site sparked collaboration. The result? → His boss’ boss took notice that the CTO and other team members were singing his praises for his support. He stopped focusing solely on his own numbers and goals and displayed high-value cooperation. It’s easy to get focused on results over relationships. Top performers know that relationships unlock results.

Being a top performer won’t get you promoted—this will. The secret weapon to your next big raise… It’s not just the grind. How you communicate your value to leadership determines your career success. Shift your mindset from individual contributor to manager before you get promoted. The transition from IC to manager is often the most difficult to navigate because you have to move beyond your own goals and performance to be successful. Recognize that managing requires… 👉 Effective communication 👉 Time management 👉 Team building 👉 Conflict resolution 👉 Big picture thinking Start demonstrating these key communication skills to your manager before your promotion and you stand out immediately as the next obvious choice for promotion. That means… 🔑 Participate in meetings by sharing relevant information and perspectives 🔑 Deliver your results ahead of deadlines and seek to support other team members on their deadlines 🔑 Appreciate team members for their contributions and support 🔑 Actively resolve issues before seeking support from management 🔑 Increase visibility by supporting other team members Seek feedback in these areas and watch your performance reviews improve immediately. Be honest about your intentions for promotion and growth. Being good at your job is not enough to get you promoted. Chances are you need to level up your communication skills to reach the next level.

I cringe every time someone says ‘let’s network’—here’s why. We use the word “networking” constantly, but it actually makes me cringe 🥴 Because “networking” is actually the worst version of connecting with other people. ❌ The small talk. ❌ The business cards. ❌ The obligatory follow-up. ❌ The surface-level exchanges. You know what I mean. The whole networking dance feels lame and forced. You don’t want to be a great networker. You want to be a great relationship-builder. True networking isn’t about how many LinkedIn connections you have or how many business cards you walk home with. True networking is about the quality of those relationships. A network is a collection of people. Relationships are the connections you have with those people -- which is the lifeblood of success. But telling you to “build better relationships” is kind of like telling you to be taller. So how do you turn a surface-level connection into a meaningful relationship? The answer is something called social capital. That’s what you have to offer the people around you, and what they have to offer you. You can think of social capital as value, utility, or influence… As an opportunity, connection, or community… Or as knowledge, expertise, and insight… Either you create social capital, and have a huge leg up in life, or you don’t create social capital, and hope everything works out. It’s really that simple.

He excelled in law for decades—but struggled in everyday conversations. Until we worked on this. There is no better feeling than…. Helping clients change the way they see the world… Impacting the most important relationships in their life… Unlocking their true potential… The most rewarding feeling is when I hear from our client’s partners, spouses, and colleagues how much they have changed since working together. Rishi joined us after leaving his law firm ready to take on retirement and make an impact on his community. He was frustrated that he always struggled in social situations, especially outside of work. His wife hated seeing the self doubt creep in when they were headed out. She shared our podcast with him and he signed up to work with me. We worked together on new strategies to strike up conversations at parties, rapid rapport building to create connections, and storytelling to make a magnetic impression on people. In fact, he has been so active after his program, even his wife noticed a complete difference in him. Now he is dragging her out to put his new skills into action. Our clients have all the pieces they need to be successful, but it requires small shifts in perspective that you can’t always see on your own. Life is full of opportunities when you have the skills and mindsets to see them.

This one mindset shift turned my envy into a superpower. Envy can be the spark you need to fuel your transformation. Think of yourself as an acorn, destined to become a mighty oak. We all have this intrinsic desire to unlock our fullest potential. Seeing others step out of their comfort zones, achieving what we aspire to, can stir those envious feelings. It's not the envy that's problematic—it's how we react. Instead of lashing out or sinking in self-pity, why not use that envy as motivation? Spot someone achieving a goal you desire? Don't beat yourself up. Ask, "What steps can I take to get there too?" Embrace those feelings, process them, and let them guide you. Hiding from them only deepens the struggle. Remember, it's not about negating envy, but channeling it towards your aspirations.

Most successful people aren’t extroverts—they just figured this out early. If you want to improve your people skills and get ahead in life… Talk to more people. As humans, we have a remarkable ability to overcomplicate things. There are many different things you could do to get ahead in business and in life. Yet, all of the most successful people around me have ONE thing in common. They have amazing people skills. The funny thing is… Almost everyone I know who’s “good with people” TODAY… …is either an introvert… …or was once an awkward wallflower. Including myself. It is easy to avoid people these days with apps, AI, and Airpods. The simple truth is that getting better with people has the biggest impact on your career and health. Of course there are difficult people, there are jerks, and down right a-holes. But avoiding them will not be the answer to your problems. Dealing with people and understanding how to influence and persuade them changes the entire game. People are the key part of the equation for success. So develop the one skillset that can be used everyday of your life. Break the ice… Forge new relationships… Grow your EQ… Become a powerful storyteller… Learn to sell yourself and your killer ideas… Manage conflict with ease… Supercharge your charisma… Your ability to connect with others will determine your success more than any other skill.

This ‘soft skill’ might be the biggest career hack of 2025. Ever seen someone instantly liked at work? That’s charisma in action. It’s not just for celebrities. It’s a skill you can learn too. Picture Brad, a new guy at his company. Not the boss yet, not a complete newbie, just starting in a new role. Last summer, Brad decided to focus on his work relationships and reached out for my support. He began truly listening to his colleagues. A year later? Brad was a new man at work. More approachable, with loads of work friends. What changed? His charisma. He listened more and genuinely cared about his colleagues’ stories. He met a managing director from another office with an interesting life story on a company off site. He was curious and excited to connect with his colleague. Fast forward a couple months, this managing director reached out for Brad’s support on an interesting project. This gave Brad exposure to leadership and increased visibility within the organization. Brad was shouted out for his incredible work and received word last week that he is getting promoted because of it. Charisma was the missing piece. Everyone, including you, can do this. Start by listening well and smiling often. These changes can boost how others see you at work. Charisma builds meaningful work relationships. It can even open doors to new opportunities.

He came to us for dating advice. He ended up landing roles at Apple & Facebook. Here's what changed everything… Going past dating advice. This client approached us over a decade ago, seeking guidance in his dating life after a challenging breakup and the responsibilities of fatherhood. → Little did he know, this journey would extend far beyond the realm of personal relationships. During our coaching, a revelation emerged: His struggle with confidence wasn't just affecting his personal life → It was also a significant barrier in his professional world. He believed his modest educational background LIMITED his career prospects, especially at high-profile companies like Apple or Facebook. This mindset led him to play it safe. Avoiding opportunities that could have propelled his career forward. 🔥Our coaching program initiated a dramatic shift in his perspective. As he rebuilt his confidence, he began to see his potential in a new light. This newfound self-belief empowered him to apply for roles he had previously thought were out of his reach. 🔥The results were transformative. Not only did he start landing these roles, but his career trajectory also took an upward turn, showcasing a remarkable turnaround. → His story doesn't stop there. In a recent interview with us, he shared valuable insights into the interplay of confidence and professional success. He emphasized how the coaching helped him gain buy-in and build trust with his team members, recognize important stakeholders, and effectively interact with people outside his technical domain. These skills increased his visibility in the organization and established him as a problem-solver. This is a testament to the power of confidence and the far-reaching impact it can have on one’s life.