Project Time Over Money

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Tesla

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Hi, 

Who am I?

Just a guy who spent 10+ years being plagued by ADHD & toxic relationships. Sounds rough right? 

Maybe, but I learned some pretty cool things along the way.

Now, I'm part of healthy relationships and I have the best relationship with my mind. 

I truly believe if you don't learn to control and understand your mind, your mind will end up controlling you. 

If any of this resonated with you, click that follow button!

Tired of being disrespected?

Turn that disrespect into raw power.

They won’t try you again.
They’ll be cautious around you.
They’ll even begin to respect you.

Let’s find out how.

Consider these examples: 


Him: “Oh, sure, because that's such a brilliant idea.” (Sarcasm)

Him: "Let me break it down for you in simpler terms." (Condescending)

Him: “You're overreacting, it's not that big of a deal." (Invalidating emotions)


If you:

→ Laugh it off
→ Go along with it

You’ll appear weak.

Who holds the power? Them.


If you:

→ Retaliate
→ Get emotional
→ Get vividly upset

You’ll appear impulsive.

Who holds the power? Still them.


“So Harsh, what should I do instead?”

You should:

→ Grey rock
→ Pause for 5 seconds 
→ Say: “Can you repeat that?”
→ Say: “Are you having a bad day?”

Each type of response sells a story about who you are.


If you laugh it off, you’ll appear timid. They’ll keep picking on you. 

If you retaliate, you’ll look like someone who can’t control their emotions.

But if you hold your ground, give slight pushback. 

Something interesting will happen. 


You’ll appear strong.
They’ll stop the disrespect.
And now you’ll hold the raw power.

“Respect yourself enough to stop accepting disrespect.”

- Anon

Harsh Patel

Tired of being criticized?

Turn that criticism into raw power.


They’ll be at a loss for words.
They won’t know what to say.
They’ll even stop the criticisms.

Don’t believe me? 

Let’s look at some examples:


Him: You are really addicted to phone 😬
Him: You complain way too much 😑
Him: Why are you so sensitive 😡


How would you normally respond?

Would you: 

→ Get defensive?
→ Immediately react?
→ Get a bit emotional? 

That’s how they want you to react.
That’s what they are expecting.

It fuels them, it gives them power.

“So Harsh, what’s the solution?”

Agree with them.


Confused?

Let’s consider the examples again:

Him: You are really addicted to phone 😬
You: I am not addicted, I’m enslaved to my phone.

Him: You complain way too much 😑
Her: Actually no, I complain ALL the time.

Him: Why are you so sensitive 😡
Her: Yeah you are right, I’m overly sensitive.


They expected an argument.
Instead you agreed.

They expected you to get emotional. 
Yet you remained calm.

They tried to use your flaws against you.
Yet you accepted your own flaws.

And now? 


They have nothing to say.

You turned their criticisms into power.

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

- Aristotle

Even better?

To avoid criticism, accept the criticism. 

Leave them powerless.

I used to talk too much.

It made me look weak, until I realized this…

Talk too much and they turn away.
Talk too much and your words lose power.
Talk too much, they’ll use what you say against you.


I became vulnerable.

Easy to read.
Even easier to use.

Instead, I learned to always say less than necessary.


They started paying more attention.
They started asking more questions.
They realized they couldn’t figure me out.

The best part?


With my mouth shut, my eyes & ears picked up the slack.

I noticed these 10 things:

In myself:
1. Greater empathy
2. Increase in patience
3. Heightened Intuition
4. Increase in self awareness
5. Became a better communicator

In others:
6. Dishonest actions
7. Behavioral Patterns
8. Emotional instability
9. Inconsistent behavior
10. Existence of an inflated ego


The next time you want to say something, pause, hold and listen.

You’ll never know what you’ll learn.
You’ll never know how much powerful you’ll seem.

“Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise.”
Proverbs 17:28

I share strategies on how to design writing that is for virality and tribe building. 

Only with a combination of both can you have a successful creator business.

Ignotas P.

Do you talk too much?

It’s a sign of weakness.

→ It displays a lack of control
→ You become an open book, easy to read
→ You’ll eventually say something you shouldn’t

Don’t believe me?

Let’s take a look at some examples:


Him: "What do you do in your free time?"
You: “I have a few interests. Nothing too crazy” 

Him: "What did you do over the weekend?"
You: "Oh, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. You know how it is."

Him: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
You: "I'm open to whatever opportunities come my way."


Those who are quiet look mysterious.
Those who speak less are harder to read.
Those who speak in riddles appear powerful. 

By speaking less, you make someone imagine.

It's kinda like horror movies.
The scary monster is only scary because of your imagination.
But when you see the monster, you realize the monster isn't so bad.

Same with human interaction.

You'll seem more mysterious.
You'll seem a bit more allusive.
You'll seem a bit more powerful. 


“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” 
- Epictetus

How to handle toxic people?
    
It’s impossible. Instead…
    
Learn how to detect them.
    
    
They are cunning.
They involve you in dramas. 
They know how to manipulate. 
    
The worst part? 

    
In the beginning they’ll appear different.
    
They’ll appear charming. 
They’ll seem charismatic.
They’ll be wearing a mask. 
    
Eventually it’s too late.
    
    
You’ll be emotionally entangled to them. 
You’ll want to leave, but instead you’ll think:

“But they’ve done ALL these nice things for me.”
“But I’ve known them for so so long.”
“But I believe they can change.”
    
You are trapped.
    
“So Harsh, am I screwed?”
    

No, learn how to detect them.

So you never get involved with them in the first place.
    
How? 
    
Ask yourself the following questions:
    
1. Do they get jealous easily?
2. Are they lazy but ambitious? 
3. Are they always hot and cold?
4. Is their behavior inconsistent?
5. Do they subtly make fun of you? 
6. Do they always want things their way? 
7. Do they make backhanded comments?
8. Do they dump their emotions on to you?
9. Are they selective with who they respect?
10. Do they try too quickly to get close to you?
    
Look for these signs.
    
Trust your gut when something feels off.
    
    
    “Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.”
    
    - Mandy Hale

Tired of being intimidated? 

Try this trick to retain your power.


This trick is a Swiss Army Knife.
No matter what they say, it will work.
No matter how they behave, you won’t budge.

The Swiss Army Knife can be summarized in 3 words.

Know Your Enemy.

Confused?

Consider these examples:


How would you handle someone:

→ intimidating you? 
→ trying to make you look bad? 
→ who starts screaming at you?

You might:

→ Retaliate
→ Get reactive
→ Scream back

You fell for their trap.
You started playing their game.


Instead, know your enemy.
Figure out what they want from you.
 
And do the exact opposite.

If they try to scare you, remain calm.
If they scream at you, don’t scream back.
If they try to intimidate you, stay composed.


Step inside their shoes, understand what they want. 
Then by not playing their games, you’ll hold the power.

To know your enemy, you must become your enemy.
- Sun Tzu

Are you naive?

Naivety is weakness in the work world. 


→ You’ll be used
→ You’ll expose yourself
→ You’ll say whatever comes to mind

Even worse?


You’ll be manipulated by those who understand the game of power.

“Well Harsh, what should I be doing?”


1. Talk less
2. Listen more
3. Remain calm
4. Be ambiguous
5. Look for patterns
6. Give short answers
7. Don’t  be  desperate
8. Avoid those with egos


This is how you gain influence.
This is how you gain power.

"Politics preys on people’s naivety."
- Bangambiki Habyarimana

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