Mark McPherson's Linkedin Analytics

Darren Saul had certainly done his homework before he interviewed me. He asked some terrific questions. And amongst them were a few tricky ones. Darren is a great interviewer and always makes sure his podcasts go along at a cracking pace. Thank you Darren . https://lnkd.in/gwkwn3HC

Sexism? You be the judge. For 30 years my wife has ordered a Long Black and I have ordered a Piccolo. And for 30 years, without fail, the Long Black is given to me. And the Picollo is given to my wife. Is it because real men don't drink Piccolos? Is it just a simple case of sexism? Surely a woman wouldn't order a Long Black. Surely a woman would order a lovely little Piccolo. ➤ You be the judge. But either way, assumptions can be dangerous. And especially when we're Having a Tough Conversation with someone about their Poor Performance or Bad Behaviour. Yet, I see it all the time. I see people make assumptions about the other person's psychological attributes, feelings, intentions, motives and interests. And what they know and understand. And it's a big mistake. It's not because assumptions are necessarily wrong. They might be spot on. It's because making them can get us into trouble. They can: 1️⃣ Lead us up the garden path. We can talk about things, and put strategies in place, which are way off the mark. 2️⃣ Annoy the person. It doesn't matter whether the assumptions are right or wrong. The person might not like them, might not like you talking about what's going on in their head. They might even find them insulting. 3️⃣  Get us into lengthy and irrelevant discussions, debates and even arguments. Assumptions don't just waste valuable time and energy. It's worse than that. They create pain for both you and the other person. I help a lot of people who don't even know they're making assumptions. They think they're just saying it like it is, stating the obvious and making an observation. Yet making assumptions is exactly what they're doing. They're playing the intuition and conjecture game. ✔ And it's a mistake. A big, big mistake. Bizarrely, some of those helping people have Tough Conversations actually encourage them to make assumptions. So, let's get back to me and the Long Black. Sexism? Maybe. But either way, the assumption really gets up my nose. I know assumptions have their place. And I know it's not very hard for I may just swap my coffee with my wife's. But in other areas of our life, like when we are dealing with people, assumptions can do more harm than good. ✔ It's best to steer away from them. It's best to just stick to the facts about observed behaviour. Have you got any good 'assumption stories'? I'd love to hear them. #toughconversations