System Sunday

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Writer

Engagement Manager

Senior Consultant

Cornell University

Teaching Assistant - Critical & Strategic Thinking

VIVALDI_

Global growth, innovation, and brand strategy firm

MBA Summer Consultant - Strategy

Tailor & Spruce

Premium men's grooming brand. Featured in Forbes, Bloomberg, Men's Journal, and GQ.

Founder

Personal Development 2.0. I write about systems and high-performance living ⚡ Cornell MBA • 1.6M+ audience

Hi, I'm Ben Meer.

Tired of non-actionable life advice, I started writing online in February 2022.

Here are the results:

→ Built social audience from 0 to 1.7M+ (across IG, LinkedIn, and X) 
→ Grew 0 to 575K+ followers on LinkedIn in 18 months
→ Scaled newsletter—System Sunday—from 0 to 270K+ subscribers

There are 3 primary ways I can help you:

1) SYSTEM SUNDAY NEWSLETTER

Most people don't know how to build life systems to accelerate personal growth. So I created a weekly newsletter that teaches these systems (it's free). Subscribe to unlock new levels of wealth, health, and freedom.

→ Try it: benmeer.com/ss

2) CREATOR METHOD [DIGITAL COURSE]

Access a proven system for building a 100K+ audience and 6-figure online business. Join 1,400+ students in this self-paced course. 

→ Check it out: benmeer.com/creator

3) 1-ON-1 CONSULTING  

Book a working session with me. 1-on-1 consulting is available for both business and personal growth topics. Let's win together 🏅

→ Reserve: benmeer.com/coaching

——

Sponsorships: partnerships@benmeer.com

12 "If, then" algorithms for self-care:

1. If you're pursuing a goal, then avoid telling people. It releases cheap dopamine and tricks your brain into thinking you've already achieved it (lowering motivation). Move in silence.

2. If you're unhappy, then start with brain health: sleep, hydrate, exercise, eat nutritiously, rebalance your dopamine with less screen time. Our society labels many issues as mental health that are actually brain health. (Source: Dr. Daniel Amen)

3. If you experience a beautiful life moment, then write it down. Best tacos ever. Presentation you crushed. Bonfire with friends. Save the memory and, one day, the memory might save you.

4. If you find yourself regretting past decisions, then stop. You made the best choice at the time, with the knowledge you had. Be at peace with it.

5. If you find yourself stuck in a mental loop, ask yourself, "Is this useful?" and "Will I care about this in one year?"

6. If you're comparing yourself to others, then stop. Trust me: they have their own issues you'd never want. Only compare yourself to your former self.

7. If they steal your energy, then run away from them as fast as you can. If they are prone to conflict, then ditto.

8. If you see leaves swaying in the breeze or ripples in the pool, then take a moment to be present. The nature of reality is 100x more beautiful than any virtual reality.

9. If you feel overwhelmed by mainstream media, then turn it off. You're allowed to NOT have your attention monetized.

10. If you've recently been destroyed by something, then realize this is the best time to transform your life. Focus on your values and daily habits to build yourself back stronger. You get to write how the story ends.

11. If you're feeling rushed, then try going at 85%. "Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast." Carl Lewis, 9-Time Olympic Gold medalist, ran his fastest at 85%, anyway.

⬳

Enjoy this? Repost to help your network ♻️.

And if you want more ideas like these, join 270K+ in my free newsletter, System Sunday: https://lnkd.in/ewnjDzas

Ben Meer

The Systems Guy • Follow me for systems on health, wealth, and free time ⚡ Cornell MBA • 2M+ audience

“Not taking things personally is a superpower.” —James Clear

5 mental models to develop thick skin:

1. Spotlight Effect (Cognitive Bias)

We think people are paying far more attention to us than they are.

Harsh truth:

Your freedom begins the day you realize nobody is thinking about you.

—

2. The ‘Procedure or Perception’ Razor

When you receive negative feedback, ask yourself:

- Should I change my procedure (actions I take)?
- Or should I change my perception (how I interpret the advice)?

Avoid constructive feedback from people who’ve never constructed anything.

—

3. The 10% Hater Rule

The other day I received a comment that I was “toxically positive.”

It reminded me of this quote I love:

“10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. Expect it and treat it as math.” —Tim Ferriss

—

4. Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is a belief that you CAN improve your abilities through dedication + hard work.

Mastery takes time (for everyone).

Commit yourself to lifelong learning.

—

5. No is Normal

Paul Mitchell sold encyclopedias door-to-door before becoming a billionaire (from Patrón and hair products).

Life is a numbers game.

Today's winners often got rejected the most (but persevered).

Keep taking shots on goal; eventually, you will break through.

—

Those were 5 concepts to develop thick skin.

One final thought:

“Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.” —Colin Powell

—
 
If you enjoyed this, please repost ♻️. Sharing costs $0.00 and can help others become more resilient. Thanks!

P.S. Want more ideas like this? Join 275,000+ readers in my newsletter (it's free): https://lnkd.in/ewnjDzas

YouTube is free education.

But 99% don’t know the best spots on its virtual campus.

Here are the top channels to accelerate your learning:

9 YouTube channels to accelerate your learning:

9 soft skills to accelerate your career:

1. Make People Feel Important (SHR Method)

Your formula to be charismatic:

Seen
• Give eye contact
• Offer a specific compliment

Heard
• Ask good questions
• Be interested, not interesting

Remembered
• Follow up
• Remember name(s)
• Recall something you discussed

—

2. Hone Your Body Language (7-38-55 Rule)

People will like/dislike your communication based on:

• 7% words
• 38% tonality and face
• 55% body language

Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, make eye contact, smile, give a firm handshake...

You will be dangerous.

—

3. Master the 4-Bullet Update

Powerful people are busy.

(They might not remember what they asked you to do.)

Give an update with this outline:

• Here's what you asked me to do
• Here's what I did
• Here are the risks/blockers (if any)
• If given more time, I'd do this

—

4. Record and Study Your Speaking

The best communicator I know told me her secret:

She records her calls.

Then she replays them, studies them

(like an athlete watching game film).

You'll cut 'ums' and 'likes.'

99.9% won't do this. Be the outlier.

—

5. Ask Rapport-Building Questions

Your network is your net worth.

Build bonds with these Qs:

• What neighborhood are you in?
• Do you have any siblings/kids?
• How'd you meet your partner? (if mentioned)
• Any fun upcoming trips?

Simple, but most people miss this.

—

6. Send 'Friday Highlights'

If you're new to a team, do this to build trust.

Every Friday, send your supervisor(s) a short email.

Two parts:

1) Highlights from the prior week

• Big tasks completed
• People networked with
• Extracurriculars (like affinity groups)

2) Upcoming activities for next week

• Forward-looking big tasks and networking

Friday Highlights will help you:

• Build trust
• Hold yourself accountable
• Tactfully self-promote (perception is reality)
• Have everything you need for self-reviews

—

7. Don't Complain or Gossip. Ever.

Nobody likes to hear complaining.

So why do we do it ourselves?

(Respectfully standing up for yourself is different.)

Separately, when you talk bad about others,

people wonder if you talk bad about them too.

Just don't do it.

—

8. Remember ALL the Names

A person's favorite sound is their name.

I have a theory about their 2nd favorite sound:

The names of their loved ones and pets.

Whenever you hear one mentioned, write it down.

Later, ask *by name* about them.

You will stand out.

—

9. Give Yourself a Personal MBA

Willingness to learn is a crucial soft skill.

I wrote a popular thread on how to give yourself a personal MBA (in 6 months).

All it takes to finish? Read 30 mins daily.

—

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How to avoid burnout.
 
Get 7 types of rest:
 
Have you ever slept 8+ hours but still felt EXHAUSTED?
 
Me too.
 
While sleeping is physical rest, you actually need 7 types of rest to avoid burnout (according to Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith).
 
So stay at your best with these 7 types of rest…

— 

1. Physical Rest
 
Lack of sleep and overtraining deplete your body's energy.
 
Get two types of physical rest, passive and active:
 
Passive
• Sleep 7+ hrs nightly
• Take power naps (as needed)
 
Active
• Stretch
• Get a massage
• Use an ergonomic chair + desk
 
—
 
2. Mental Rest
 
Mental rest deficit is caused by overtaxing your thinking.
 
• Write down your to-dos
• Reference checklists (packing, groceries, etc.)
• Create a shutdown ritual to separate work and life
• Take a break from problem-solving
• Meditate
—
 
3. Social Rest
 
Evaluate your relationships.
 
• Spend more time with people who give you energy
• Spend less time with people who steal your energy
• If you're an introvert, block out time to be alone
 
—
 
4. Spiritual Rest
 
Be part of something bigger than yourself.
 
• Volunteer
• Work a job that feels purpose-driven
• Participate in faith-based activities (if aligned to your belief system)
 
—
 
5. Sensory Rest
 
The modern individual is overstimulated.
 
• Take a break from social media
• Turn off notifications (sounds and visual alerts)
• Limit video meetings
• Set a relaxing evening ambiance (soothing music, candles, etc.)
 
—
 
6. Emotional Rest
 
Emotional rest deficit occurs when you feel like you can't be authentic.
 
Ex: An airline attendant who must always smile, despite rude passengers.
 
• Spend time with people you can be authentic around
• Try speaking with a therapist to release emotional labor
 
—
 
7. Creative Rest
 
Appreciate beauty in any form, whether natural or human-created:
 
Natural
• Take in a sunrise or sunset
• Go for a walk in nature
 
Human-created
• Visit a museum or art festival
• Engage with inspiring music, books, documentaries, etc.
 
—
 
Dr. Dalton-Smith recommends starting with your 1-2 biggest rest deficits
 
(And not trying to eat the whole elephant at once).
 
Then, over time, create daily and weekly habits to get all 7.
 
P.S. Repost to help others avoid burnout ♻️.

And join my free newsletter—System Sunday— for more content like this:
https://lnkd.in/ewnjDzas

What are the key components of the SHR method for charisma?

How can I improve my body language using the 7-38-55 rule?

What are some effective rapport-building questions to ask colleagues?

20 sentences that will maximize your social intelligence:

1. To solve an issue quickly, be soft on the person and hard on the problem.

2. Pretend everyone was sent to teach you something.

3. Pause in speaking + eye contact = confidence.

4. Make people feel important with the SHR Method: Seen, Heard, Remembered.

5. A person’s favorite sound is their name, so remember it (h/t Dale Carnegie).

6. “Praise publicly. Criticize privately.” —Warren Buffett

7. To give feedback, first let the other person know you have their back.

8. “Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.” —Neil Strauss

9. The best networking strategy is a helping others first strategy.

10. Loneliness is a silent pandemic; assume people want to meet you.

11. Practice going first, e.g., “Hi, I’m Ben.”

12. Build the habit of responding with “Yes, and” because it advances their idea.

13. Avoid complaining or gossiping (nobody likes to hear it).

14. Storytelling is a superpower; use a structure like setup, tension, & resolution.

15. Every dog has its day because dogs are friendly (lesson in there).

16. “The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.” —Esther Perel

17. To discover blindspots, build an inner circle that will give you honest feedback.

18. Normalize “I don’t know anything about that” as a successful answer.

19. Record and study your speaking like an athlete watching game film.

20. “Great leaders create more leaders, not followers.” —Roy T. Bennett

✍️ Which of these resonates with you?
♻️ RT to help your network.

P.S. Want more ideas like these? Try my free newsletter—System Sunday—with 270K+ readers: https://lnkd.in/ewnjDzas

How can I get the most out of YouTube for education?

What are the benefits of a virtual campus?

Busyness doesn't equal productivity.

Master the Eisenhower Matrix to achieve more and stress less. 🎯

By categorizing tasks into 4 quadrants:

➟ Important-Urgent (Do),
➟ Important-Not Urgent (Schedule),
➟ Not Important-Urgent (Delegate),
➟ and Not Important-Not Urgent (Delete)

—it empowers you to focus on what truly matters.

Let me break it down.

—

1. Do: Urgent and Important

Tasks with deadlines or consequences.

Examples:
• Responding to a client crisis.
• Meeting a crucial project deadline.
• Fixing a critical system error.

Tips:
• Do these first thing (eat the frog).
• Prevent distractions (put your phone on Airplane Mode or Do Not Disturb).

—

2. Schedule: Important but Not Urgent

Tasks with unclear deadlines that contribute to long-term success.

Examples:
• Planning your business strategy.
• Investing in personal development.
• Building key relationships.

Tips:
• Time-block these in your calendar.
• Only schedule it if it's truly important to you. Otherwise, say no.

—

3. Delegate: Urgent but Not Important

Tasks that must get done but don't require your specific skill set.

Examples:
• Answering most emails.
• Handling routine administrative tasks.
• Plowing the snow from your driveway.

Tips:
• Identify tasks others can do 80% as well as you.
• Give clear instructions when delegating.
• Follow up, but don't micromanage.

—

4. Delete: Neither Urgent Nor Important

Distractions and unnecessary tasks.

Examples:
• Attending meetings with no clear agenda.
• Watching TV indiscriminately.
• Engaging in office gossip.

Tips:
• Identify time-wasters in your day. Set limits.
• Ask yourself if it adds value to your life. If not, cut it out.

—

The Eisenhower Matrix is a powerful tool for getting valuable stuff done.

You'll separate the trivial many from the vital few.

📌 Want to receive a high-res PDF of this one-pager?
 
 1. Follow Ben Meer
 2. ♻️ Repost to help your network
 3. Subscribe to my free newsletter: https://lnkd.in/ewnjDzas
 
Follow the steps above, and I'll send you this and 10+ of my best infographics for free.

How can I apply the Eisenhower Matrix to my work?

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How to learn from your mistakes.

The After-Action Review Method:

In 60 seconds, you'll know the framework to learn from your mistakes (and wins).

The method is used by the U.S. Armed Forces and Fortune 500 companies.

It's called an After-Action Review (AAR).

Imagine how evolved you would be if you learned from your mistakes.

Most people don't because it can be uncomfortable.

Good thing you don't want to be like most people.

AAR is a 4-question framework. Let's dive in...

—

Step 1. What did I intend to accomplish?

Example: Wish John a happy birthday (to show him that he's important to me).

—

Step 2. What happened?

Example: I forgot to wish John a happy birthday.

—

Step 3. Why did it happen that way?

Seek the root cause, not the proximate.

Proximate = what immediately caused something to happen.
Root = the real reason something happened.

Example:
• Proximate: It was a crazy day at school; I forgot.
• Root: I didn't have a reminder.

—

Step 4. What will I do next time for a better outcome (or to repeat my success)?

Example: Create a recurring calendar invite for John's birthday (+ other friends/family/colleagues).

Won't happen again.

—

More After-Action Review tips:

• Do an AAR for any action (win or loss). 
• Normalize learning from wins AND losses.
• Complete individually or as a team.
• Focus on the problem, not the person.
• Journal your reflections. I've titled my notebook, 'Learned.'

Tl;DR for After-Action Reviews:

1. What did I intend to accomplish?
2. What happened?
3. Why did it happen that way?
4. What will I do next time for a better outcome (or to repeat my success)?

Learning from mistakes separates the best from the rest.

⬳

Image Credit: Roberto Ferraro 

Find this useful? Repost to help your network ♻️.

What are some examples of the After-Action Review Method in action?

How do Fortune 500 companies use the After-Action Review Method?

Why is it important to learn from both wins and losses?

20 tiny habits that will change your life in 6 months:

All the habits take less than 3 mins,
but each will have an outsized impact. 📈

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