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No niche. No funnel. No 5am routine. Just stillness. Some breath. A dog. A parrot. And a post when it feels real. That’s the whole thing. Follow us for mindfulness, LinkedIn, food & beverage tech/AI stuff!
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This is a public apology. To the person I just declined on LinkedIn: It wasn’t you. It was me. (And my sleepy, clumsy thumb.) I meant to hit “accept.” Instead, I sent your connection request into the abyss. And the worst part? There’s no undo button. Just my shame. Lesson learned: Don’t LinkedIn while half-asleep. This app does not forgive. If I declined you by mistake, Please try again at some point. We’ll pretend it never happened. (Like professionals.)
A year ago, LinkedIn felt hard. And the algorithm was friendly-ish back then. Now? It’s like posting into a black hole… wearing noise-canceling headphones… during a thunderstorm…with a blindfold on. Newbies don’t stand a chance. Unless we help them. So yeah, I’m here for the newbies. 100%. Because if I had to start today? I might’ve quit too.
Have you started optimizing your intrusive thoughts for LinkedIn? Because I just tried to meditate and accidentally structured a post. About LinkedIn. I took a deep breath. My brain said: “This would make a great hook.” LinkedIn. I walked Farrah. She pooped. I thought: “3 lessons on letting go.” LinkedIn. I closed my eyes in the shower. Then thought: “Silence = Strategy.” LinkedIn. I’m not living anymore. I’m drafting. In real time. For LinkedIn. I had a vulnerable moment. And immediately labeled it: “TOFU content.” LinkedIn. I hugged someone. My mind: “Make it a metaphor.” “Add a call to action.” LinkedIn. I sat in stillness. Brain: “Stillness is the strategy.” “You should write that down.” “Tag Farrah.” “Tag Pumpky.” LinkedIn. This isn’t a platform. It’s a personality trait. A spiritual parasite. My mantra was working…until I heard it again: LinkedIn. What’s your last intrusive LinkedIn thought? Comment it. Don’t optimize it. Unless you want it to perform. In which case, add the word LinkedIn. Because LinkedIn.
I posted once today. That’s the post. (Now twice) But not 3 times. Not 2 carousels and a value thirst trap. Just once. Like a commoner. (Raise your hand if you are a LinkedIn commoner!) And guess what? Still breathing. Still building. Still a content genius (probably). Because posting once ≠ failure. Sometimes it’s focus. Sometimes it’s rest. Sometimes it’s just life. If you needed the reminder: You’re not lazy. You’re a legend with boundaries.
You’ve been categorized by LinkedIn. (And you know it) Post a meme? You’re the meme guy now. Drop a strategy breakdown? LinkedIn Guru. Share a photo of your dog in a sweater? Petfluencer. But try this: → a little mindfulness → a little marketing → a carousel → a shitpost → and then some vulnerable truth? The algorithm malfunctions. Your reach vanishes. You get quietly gate-kept. Unless you’re already Linkedin famous. Then you can post a blurry picture of grilled cheese and call it thought leadership. I haven’t found the “right” box yet. But I’ll keep posting. Keep experimenting. And I’ll keep sharing mindfulness (even if it tanks) Because sometimes you have to say what matters no matter what. So for now, take a breath and remember: You got this. PS - What are you saying in your posts that matters?
Stillness? On LinkedIn?? You bet. So, y’all wanna sit in silence for 20 mins on Zoom? Well. Same. Then follow it up with 20 minutes of no-selling, no-optimizing, just talking about what came up? Yeah. This is happening. The poll results are almost in, and I have questions: “Yes!” (50%): decisive, bold, probably already meditating? “Ya.” (42%): chill, slightly skeptical, possibly just being nice? 😂 “Yeah” (8%): the contrarian, the enlightened beings? unclear Also…I love that the difference between Ya, Yeah, and Yes! might be a spiritual hierarchy? Anyway… To everyone who clicked anything but “No”: You’re my people. (Oh wait, “No” wasn’t an option.) This isn’t some optimized LinkedIn masterclass with templates and talk tracks btw… It’s 20 minutes of stillness. And 20 minutes of what-the-hell-just-happened reflection. No funnel. No pitch. Just breath. Just being. Because here’s the truth: You can scroll until your soul flatlines. Or you can pause. Together. So, Stay tuned. Time/date, any thoughts? And yes, Farrah will be present. Pumpky has his doubts, but that’s ok. Oh yeah, don’t forget: LinkedIn. #LinkedIn #Mindfulness #GrowthMindset
Ever feel like your brain won’t stop asking questions? (If you’ve ever felt stuck in your own mind, read this.) I used to think I needed answers. Fast ones. Big ones. Right now. But all I had were loops. “Am I doing enough?” “What if I fall behind?” “Why haven’t I figured it out?” They weren’t real questions. They were panic. Anxiety. No matter how hard I thought, nothing changed. Until I stopped. For a moment, I did nothing. Just breathed. And different questions showed up. “What actually matters to me?” “Where have I been abandoning myself?” “What kind of peace do I want to protect?” These felt kinder. Wiser. Like they came from me…not fear. Here’s what I learned: Stillness isn’t escape. It’s where the real answers live. What question are you letting go of today? Or what’s one question that keeps showing back up for? Oh yeah! Because LinkedIn. Farrah says “LinkedIn”. And Pumpky says “LinkedIn” too.
I don’t want to be labeled. I’m not a “LinkedIn Creator”. But…I’d rather be a ghost in your mind, Haunting you with the words “keep going”.
Here’s a weird hack for writing better LinkedIn posts: Read your own content like you don’t care. Read it as lazily as you read everyone else’s. Skim it. Zone out. Forget the main point halfway through. You = the first reader. Be lazy on purpose. That’s not pessimism. It’s strategy. • Observe your own behavior. • Notice what you skip. • Then write to interrupt that autopilot. We don’t need more content. We need more presence. Oh…and if this sounds harsh? Blame Pumpky. He’s been perched on my shoulder yelling “BORING!” every time I write lately. (Unless it’s about him 🤦🏼♂️) I don’t even own a parrot anymore. I think he owns me. So, be honest, how lazily are you reading content here on LinkedIn? 😂
Here’s a Saturday LinkedIn Growth Tip: (That isn’t some made up LinkedIn bs) 1. Find a Angbeen Azeem 🎀 post. 2. Go to the post comments. Scroll around. 3. Follow as many of those folks as possible. Hilarious bunch over there. Trust Kyle Faulkner 🧩 on this one.
Have you ever felt like not showing up? Well! We didn’t feel like writing today. But we showed up anyway. So here’s Farrah. Looking down at you like the majestic, judgmental queen she is. Consistency looks different sometimes. Today, it looks like this. ✌🏻 #Mindfulness #Breathwork #Mediation #LinkedIn
To my LinkedIn community, This is hard for me to say… But I need to apologize for my recent post about: ✅ AI ✅ Hacks ✅ LinkedIn growth ✅ AI-powered LinkedIn hacks for growth ✅…and how to hack AI to grow on LinkedIn 😔 I realize now I may have gone too far. It was reckless. It was repetitive. It was…optimized. And for that, I am sorry. I am sorry for hacking your attention with an AI-generated post… About AI… Written using AI… To talk about LinkedIn hacks. I’ve let you down. I’ve let myself down. I’ve let LinkedIn Premium down. But most of all? I’ve let AI down. (And Farrah and Pumpky). So moving forward, I promise to create more human, heartfelt, authentic content… Unless of course I’m testing new AI hacks for LinkedIn engagement. Which, if you’re still reading, is actually the #1 hack for increasing time-on-post on LinkedIn via AI written posts about LinkedIn hacks. Sincerely, The problem and the solution, Kyle PS - Like this post. PPS - Comment “HACK” to get my free AI growth guide for hacking LinkedIn. (I don’t actually have that and oh sh*t, I’m doing it again).
They say don’t “post and ghost”. But they didn’t say anything about… “Post and obsessively refresh”. So here we are. Happy Sunday! Oh yeah! Don’t forget to breathe :)
This is a subtle confrontation. To every creator on LinkedIn: Have you really considered what it means when someone chooses to follow you? Not the metrics. Not the dopamine. Not the ego boost of “+1.” But the human side of it. Most followers don’t think about you. At all. Until they do. Until they see a poodle and think “Farrah.” Until they feel anxious & remind themselves to “breathe.” Until your voice, the one they forgot they followed, cuts through their mind’s scroll and interrupts their autopilot. That’s the moment you’re building for. Not the like. Not the comment. The imprint. The feeling. The flicker. The pause in someone else’s real life because of you. So before you chase reach, ask this instead: “What trace do I want to leave when I’m not being seen?” If you can’t answer that, you’re not building an audience. You’re feeding an algorithm. And probably your ego. Let that sink in. And maybe start again. But this time, on purpose.
Everyone on here is yelling: Build, scale, dominate the niche! Meanwhile, Farrah? She just grew up. She didn’t optimize. She didn’t hustle. She just kept being herself. Look at her now. Living her best life. Wearing sweaters. Chasing nothing. Sometimes success isn’t something you chase. It’s something you grow into by living loudly, weirdly, and fully you. Farrah figured that out. Have you? #HustleCulture #Mindfulness
You ever mess up so bad it accidentally works out? Farrah went to a Disney resort today. I went to Epcot (well, I tried). Got a call from the front desk… Barking. Nonstop. For an hour. Rush back. She pooped in her crate. Our day? Disqualified. Plans ruined. Hope? Gone. But somehow…after that, she ends up at Disney’s luxury dog daycare. (Yes. That exists. Of course it does.) She failed upward. From poop to pampering. From crate to concierge. And honestly? That’s a LinkedIn success story if I’ve ever seen one. Sh*t happens. Still show up. Sometimes ‘failure’ reroutes you somewhere fancier. Ever failed upward?
Farrah’s injured. The LinkedIn mascot. My four-legged Founder. The emotional glue of this operation. Just posting this now… But let’s be honest: If a sad dog with a bandaged paw can’t revive engagement…we are officially cooked. Because if this doesn’t outperform your ChatGPT-generated “Authenticity = Growth” carousel… We’re not building community anymore. We’re just barking into an algorithmic abyss.
I’m in the Top 8% of LinkedIn creators. (LOL) According to Favikon. Which is...a website? That shows you nothing unless you pay $30 a month. So yeah...I don’t even know what that means. Is Pumpky ranked too? Do we get matching plaques? B/c right now, all I got was an ego boost, and a screenshot of a number I didn’t ask for. But I will absolutely brag about it here on LinkedIn. Lesson learned: - Just keep posting. - Keep being weird. And one day, a random ranking tool will crown you As a top creator in a category you didn’t know existed. Welcome to the 8%, baby. Whatever the hell that means. Are we impressed? Maybe confused? Farrah says I’m a Top 1% dog owner. Pumpky declined to comment.
You don’t realize how much a routine holds you together. (Until someone takes yours away.) They closed my park. No warning. No signs. Just a locked gate. And silence. It wasn’t just for running. It was how I stayed steady. How I processed. How I felt like me. Now I’m here. Once Again. On LinkedIn. Scrolling. Posting. Trying to feel something. Not to go viral. Not to grow. Just to feel less alone. Just to be somewhere. If you’ve lost your rhythm too. Whatever your version of “the park” is, I see you. Let yourself miss it. Don’t rush to replace it. Don’t call it growth just because you’re still standing. Sit with the ache. Feel it fully. Then move…when you’re ready. What was your park? And what’s helping you now? I’m all ears. - Farrah.
LinkedIn for Newbies: Day 3 Confidence is overrated. Start with curiosity first. Because most people on here are too busy performing to pay attention. But you? You’ve got questions. And that’s your advantage. Start asking them. Publicly. Like: • “Why do all these posts sound the same?” • “What does ‘Add more value’ actually mean?” • “Did that carousel take 6 hrs and what was your ROI on that?” You’re not behind. You’re just awake. And the ones asking better questions are the ones building real community. So forget being an expert. Try being curious instead. That’s how you grow here. That’s how you ‘win’ on LinkedIn.
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